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Wayne Manago

53 sermons

November 2008

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Prin #10 (Bearing with one Another-Pt. 1)

Eph 4:2

“*Bearing With One Another*”
THE ONE ANOTHER PRINCIPLES - Principle #10
*Ephesians 4:2 & Colossians 3:13*
IMBC; Hobart, IN – 01-30-08
* *
 INTRODUCTION:
 
- I know you have experienced them - I have - and sometimes I have days when they are just every-where. 
- Who or what am I speaking of? *SAP’s*. What are SAPs? Seriously Annoying People. The Lord knows there is no shortage of them in this world.
- You know the kind of person I am referring to - they have a way of finding you, even in a large crowd—you just can’t hide; even if you try! 
- They are:
1. People who hog the conversation as if they are the only ones who really have anything to say . . . and then insist on waxing eloquently about nothing of any significance.
2. People who give you advice you do not want based on perspectives you do not share - and then leave you feeling second class because you do not agree with them.
3. People who talk throughout the whole movie or TV show and ask question after question about what is going on—which would be answered for them if they would have only listened.
4. People who answer rhetorical questions . . . incorrectly.
5. People who have annoying habits that drive you to distraction as they relentlessly perform them again and again and again in front of you.
6. People who forward you every email that was ever forwarded to them.
7. People who catch on to jokes slightly later than others, and laugh extra loudly just to show everybody else that they did get it.
8. People who you would swear have had their senses of humor surgically removed - along with all facial muscles.
9. Tele-marketers that will not allow you to interrupt the two minute sales pitch that they are paid to make thinking that somehow if they keep talking and annoying you they will get you to buy their product.
10. People who talk so loudly it hurts your ears.
11. People who talk so softly you have to get closer than you are comfortable with to hear - or keep saying ‘/sorry, can you say that again/’ till you feel like you have a hearing problem.
12. People who state the blatantly obvious as if it were a unique discovery they were going to copyright.
13. People who are always trying to impress you with what they have accomplished or how good they are - and who are at best just average like the rest of us.
14. Christians who are always trying to correct you to make you more like them - as if that was the greater divine purpose.
- If you are anything like me, and unfortunately for you, I think many of you are, then SAPs annoy you as much as they annoy me - they leave you feeling irritated, impatient, and, at times, quite frustrated. 
- I trust that this far in our study of the One    Another Principles there has been a great real-    lization that you are important to God and others are also important to the overall ministry of Inland Manor Baptist Church and even to the cause of Christ worldwide.
- Well this evening, God’s Word has something to say to us (that is if you agreed that you were like me with the SAP’s.)
- Tonight we are looking at the command of Scripture to “/Bear with One Another/” - and it goes deeper than we, at first, would like to believe.
- Philip Yancey writes this, "Christianity is not a purely intellectual, internal faith. It can only be lived in community." 
- So the question is not, "/Am I going to be part of a community of faith/" but "/How am I going to live in the community of faith with others who are not quite like me/?"
- Any answer to that question must include some understanding and application of the One Another passages found in the Word of God. 
- As a matter of fact, I would suggest to you that these passages are the keys not only to authentic community, but to effective witness and personal happiness in life as well.
- It is my conviction that the authenticity of your walk with God and the maturity of your faith will rise no higher than the level of your relationship with God and with the people of God. 
- Bearing with one another, according to Paul, is one of the critical parts to your and my walking worthily of our calling.
- I pray that we are manifesting love in a very    tangible and meaningful way, if not that could be an indication that there are some problems somewhere in our body that have never been dealt with in a Biblical manner and need immediate attention.  
   - Let's us look at what the Word of God has to say concerning this matter and let’s try to find a    Biblical solution to a truly perplexing problem in almost every church where sinners reside.
 
I. */KEY PASSAGE/* - *Ephesians 4:2* *“*with all humility 
    and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another 
    (showing tolerance) for one another in love”
 
A.   The Word Translated “forbearing” 
 
1.   The word means/ “//to hold up; to hold one’s self straight and firm//,/”; it contains the idea of “/to endure, to bear with, to put up with./” 
2.   To bear with another, means to literally "/hold him up/."
3.    It is the idea that you are willing to put up with his faults and idiosyncrasies, knowing that we have our own.
4.   The idea being conveyed is close to our expression “/putting up with/”; however, Paul’s use of the term has positive connotations and describes being patient with the shortcomings of others. 
5.   Often we ask God to be patient with our own failings, and yet do not exercise the same type of patience ourselves toward others. 
 
B.   Four Spiritual Qualities Necessary
1.   Spiritual Quality #1 - *‘’*humility*‘’* (lowliness)
 
a.   The Greek word carries the idea of “/having a humble opinion of one’s self; and a deep sense of one’s (moral) littleness/.”
b.   Genuine humility allows you to take off the rose-colored glasses and allows you to see yourself as God sees you.
c.         We are by nature a very proud and arrogant people. And we live in a nation of people who are also very proud.
d.        “Years ago I heard the story of a very fashionable church in Edinburgh that wanted a pulpit-supply; so the seminary sent out to them a very fine young man who was brilliant in the classroom at the school. He had never had any experience, and he was filled with pride at ministering in this great church. When he got up before that group of people, he was struck with stage fright. He forgot everything he ever knew. He had memorized his sermon, but he forgot it. He stumbled through it and left the pulpit in humiliation, because he knew how miserably he had failed. A dear little Scottish lady went up to him and said, “/Young man, I was watching you this morning, and I’d like to say to you that if you had gone up into that pulpit like you came down out of that pulpit, then you would have come down out of that pulpit like you went up into that pulpit/.” He had gone up with pride, but he had come down with lowliness and meekness.[1] 
e.   You and I cannot bear with others effectively until we first lay hold of this arrogant preoccupation we have with ourselves, I cannot love you until I learn to first get out of the way - and that is what humility is all about.
f.      Humility allows you to have proper 
          Christ-awareness to become more like 
          Jesus Christ.
      g. Only a truly humble person can overlook  
          the deficiencies in one’s own life and then 
          be truly ready to help others and be 
          willing to overlook the deficiencies in theirs.
      h. *Micah 6:8* states, “And what does the Lord require 
              of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk 
              humbly with your God?"
      i.  “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  
          *James 4:6; 1 Peter 1:5*.
      j.  I read recently that when Harry Truman was 
          thrust into the presidency at the death of 
          F.D.R., Sam Rayburn gave him this fatherly 
          advice; "From here on out you're going to have lots of 
               people around you. They'll try to put a wall around you 
               and cut you off from any ideas but theirs. They'll tell you 
               what a great man you are, Harry. But you and I both know 
               you ain't."
 
    2. Spiritual Quality #2 - *“*meekness*”*
 
a.   Defined by some as “Power under control”
b.   Every relationship that we have must be treated gently, because it can be ruptured quite easily. As a matter of fact, gentleness or meekness must be the mark of every Christian’s character. 
c.   Gentleness flows out of a heart of humility.
d.   A meek individual is a person who is a peacemaker, one who readily forgives and helps to restore sinning brothers (*Gal. 6:1*) to a place of usefulness for the Lord Jesus 
          Christ.
e.   Let me illustrate this with a fascinating bit of American history that you may be better acquainted with than I am. “William Penn was born in London in 1644. The son of a wealthy British Admiral, Penn attended Oxford and became a Quaker while he was a student. In 1681, when his father died, King Charles II granted Penn land in the New World - in America. Today we call that piece of land Pennsylvania. From the beginning Penn desired Pennsylvania to be a safe haven for the persecuted. Though the Charter of Pennsylvania empowered Penn to make war on the Indians, he refused to build any forts or to have cannon or soldiers in his province. Instead, Penn adapted the principle of "/a civil society of men enjoying the highest possible degree of freedom and happiness/." Penn learned the Indians language and customs and made a peace with them. The peace required that all quarrels should be settled by a meeting of six white men and six Indians. The Indians enjoyed equal citizenship with the white men and an equal choice of land. George Bancroft writes, that "/while every other colony in the New World was visited in turn by the horrors of Indian warfare, no drop of Quaker blood was ever shed by a red man in Pennsylvania." When William Penn died all peoples, Indian and White, mourned the death of a friend/.”
 
    3. Spiritual Quality #3 – “Patience” “with 
           longsuffering” – A godly attitude that will over-
       look a multitude of problems
 
a.   Back in *Galatians 5* we had the Fruit of 
          the Spirit in which patience~/longsuffering  
          was one of them listed for the Christian to 
          begin developing in their personal lives.
b.   The Greek word used in this verse just like 
          the one used in *Galatians 5:22 *is  
          “/makrothumia/" which is are English word 
          for "/PATIENCE/".
c.   "/Makrothumia/" has to with tolerance and        
          longsuffering that endures injuries inflicted 
          by others, it is the calm willingness to accept 
          situations that are irritating or painful.
d.   I realize that I am talking about patience in the midst of the society that invented fast food, microwaves, the Concorde jet, drive-thrus, pizza delivery in 20 minutes or less, and express lanes.
e.   The important point is that patience is the self restraint that does not retaliate against a wrong; it is the ability to accept delays and disappointments graciously; it is the attribute that enables men and women to remain steadfast under pressure and to keep on keeping on; it is also the calm endurance based on the knowledge that God is still in control even when the situation may dictate that it seems that He is not.
f.    Please remember that the meaning of longsuffering then is to demonstrate a tolerance and a willingness to accept situations or people who are irritating and or painful.
 
6.   Spiritual Quality #4 - “in love;”
 
a.   Love is a recurring theme in the book of Ephesians. 
b.   It should be a positive love relationship that is able to overcome any obstacle that invades your relationships and friendships.
c.   One author had this observation, “love makes an allowance for the faults and failures of others, or differ -ing personalities, abilities, and temperaments. And it is not a question of maintaining a façade of courtesy while inwardly seething with resentment. It means positive love to those who irritate, disturb, or embarrass. [2] 
d.   Remember what *1 Corinthians 13:7* says, “love bears all things,”
e.   One commentary puts it this way, “It is in the sphere of the love that God the Holy Spirit produces in the heart of the yielded believer (Gal. 5:22), that we are to be patient with each other as misunderstandings arise, as cutting words are said, as unkind actions are done. The love shown at Calvary was a forgiving love. Ours should be the same.[3] 
 
C.   A Great Summation of These Four Qualities
 
| Humility | “I may be wrong.” | 
| Gentleness | “I’m willing to listen, and change.” | 
| Patience | “I’ll give you time to think it through.” | 
| Bearing with | “I’ll put up with you even when we disagree.” | 
| Eagerness | “I really want this to work.” | 
[4] 
 
II. */KEY PASSAGE #2 /– Colossians 3:13 *
*     “*forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man 
        have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also 
       /do/ ye."
 
A.   What Do You See As One of The Main Subjects in This Verse? 
1.   Forbearing and forgiving
2.   Isn't amazing that in spite of what the scripture clearly says, some Christians still carry grudges against other Christians for years!
 
a.  How miserable they must be?
b.  And how tragic, sinful & wrong they are for disobeying the Word of God.
c.   How totally out of character for a follower of Christ that is--Christ was the perfect example of forgiveness as He went to the cross and died for the sin of all mankind.
d.  How ungrateful for a Christian to hold a           grudge against anyone, & particularly a fellow believer when Christ has cancelled their own debt of sin--forever!
 
3.  Some people are super-sensitive and get 
          offended easily and you and I must be 
          careful to love them and to deal openly 
          and honestly with them, in love.
 
a.  He\she walked right by and didn't even say hello!
b.  Public thanks was given and a particular persons name was inadvertently omitted.
c.   I walked over to talk to so & so and they          just walked the other way.
 
4.  Peter once asked Christ a question about 
           being wronged & forgiveness.  Notice 
           Christ’s answer & the story to illustrate 
           its significance.  *Mat. 18:21-35*
* *
a.  Certainly, this illustrates, for us in a           
              limited way the difference between 
              what our master (Christ) has forgiven 
              us of in comparison to how we ought 
              to forgive others.
 
II.   */QUITE OBVIOUSLY THIS ONE ANOTHER/* 
    */PRINCIPLE IS AIMED AT PROTECTING AND/* 
    */PROMOTING/*:
 
A.  Unity, Peace, Ministry, and Building Up the 
        Body of Christ - *Eph. 4:3, 13-16*
*         *(NIV) *“. . . *be patient, bearing with one another in love. 
             Make every effort [endeavoring KJV] to keep the unity of 
             the Spirit through the bond of peace.*”*
* *
*      *1. You must purposely seek and try to do 
          what the Scripture teaches we should 
          do *“*Make every effort [endeavoring KJV]*”*. 
 
      2. Certainly, if we have difficulty being 
          patient, and are perceived sometimes by 
          others as insensitive, you will defiantly 
          struggle with arriving at the proper goal 
          of keeping unity and bring about peace.          
      
      3. Demonstrating patience and reaching out 
          to others is a deliberate act of the will. 
 
      4. Christians who really are concerned about 
          doing God's will and pleasing Him at all 
          times *“*Make every effort to keep the unity of 
           the Spirit through the bond of peace*”*
5.  This is Christianity in action!
 
CONCLUSION:
 
   - How can you and I know in a practical way if we are bearing with one another in Love?
 
Step #1 - Evaluate yourself & list your weak-  
               nesses and faults.
 
           1. What do I do or not do that irritates              
               those I daily come in contact with?
           2. What do I do or not do that irritates              
               those at work\school\ etc. ?
           3. What do I do or not do that irritates 
               my closest friends?
 
Step #2 - Now that you have isolated your weak- 
                ness, evaluate your attitudes toward 
                others in light of what you discovered.
 
           1. Do you expect more of others than you 
               do of yourself?  (are you friendly - do 
               you make every effort to help 
               others?)
           2. Do you criticize others in the areas of              
               your own weaknesses?
           3. Being honest in steps 1 & 2 will aide 
               you to more effectively get along with 
               others.
 
 
Step #3 - Deal Biblically with those you have            
                difficulty associating. 
 
1.  Make a list of Christians you have              difficulty relating to -- especially if a              grudge is evident. (if none praise the              Lord; before you rejoice ask your mate).
2.  Now ask yourself why this is true?
a.  Maybe you feel they have hurt you or                 
                 offended you?  (you have a Biblical 
                 injunction to go to them *Matt. 18*) 
 
Step #4 - Here comes the hard one, but it *MUST*  
                be done.
 
         1. You must purposely, consciously &              
             deliberately forgive every person who 
             has ever done anything to hurt you.
         2. If necessary go to them one by one and 
             so if the reason you are upset is 
             justified; deal with it Biblically. 
         3.  Look at *Romans 12:17-21* and this 
              is the attitude that unable us to better 
              exercise patience, pardon & strive for 
              the purpose of bringing unity and 
              peace.
*1. There is a Perspective that Engages the Holy Spirit*
Ephesians 4:2 (in love)
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to find something wrong even with the most beautiful things? God’s most beautiful creation is not these magnificent mountain, or stretched white beaches dusted in the hues of the setting sun, or even the exquisite State of North Carolina. The pinnacle of His creativity, His most magnificent accomplishment, His crowning achievement is the church.
How is it possible then that this divine institution that brings pleasure to God and unites people around the circumference of the globe and across the spectrum of history, this divinely appointed bearer of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ is often filled with bitter complaints, growing grudges, and a lack of forgiveness? If the Body of Christ is so beautiful, why do believers bug us so much?
May I suggest it is often because we fail to understand the biblical mandate to bear with one another? May I suggest that it is seeing the worthiness of our walk in the pursuit of personal righteousness and not in the expression of loving graciousness?
You see, I can bear with another person’s idiosyncrasies. I can rationalize their behavior and even forgive the multitude of their sin, but to bear with them in love, takes tolerance out of the realm of social graces into the dimension of spiritual realities.
When I understand that the sort of love required if my Christian walk is to be authentic is not the cultural tolerance that comes easily, but rather the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ that the Holy Spirit wants to touch the world with through me, it renders my love ineffective, and opens me to the supernatural love of God that is poured out in my heart flowing through me into the lives of others.
You say to me, ‘But I cannot really love them after how they hurt me." And you are right - that is why God must love them through you. When the Bible speaks of the fruit of the Spirit being love, it is referring to a love that is higher, wider, bigger, bolder, stronger and longer than anything you and I can do. It refers to a love that only God can give. It takes love to a level that only God can accomplish.
I hope you learn to love even more foolishly. I hope you learn to love even more dangerously. I hope you learn to love even more with the love of God.
*There is a Perspective that Engages the Holy Spirit*
* *
* *
*Patience*
*There is a Perspective that Engages the Holy Spirit* \\ *There is a Position that Enables Grace*
*3. There is a Purpose that Encounters Christ*
Ephesians 4:3 ‘Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.’
Many, many churches have split. You will be hard pressed to find even a few that split over fundamental issues.
Many, many marriages have broken - you will be hard pressed to find even a few that broke up over fundamental issues.
Many a relationship in our lives have lost their love. You will be hard pressed to find more than a few that did so because of fundamental issues.
If we want to encounter Christ in our lives we are going to have to learn to rise above these things.
We are going to have to learn to reach out to one another in love - to bear with one another in all of our weaknesses and our fault, and to strive together for the high and holy calling of keeping the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. That is God’s command this morning to you . . . and you . . . and you . . . and me.
May I read our verse in two other translations for you?
*/"Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love." /*- The Living Bible
*/"And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences." /*The Message
You see my friend, either we are those who bear with others and strengthen them, or we with judge others and weaken them. Which are you?
Either we are motivated by humility, gentleness and patience or we are driven by pride, selfishness and arrogance. Which are you?
Paul pays an incredible tribute to Philemon in the New Testament when he writes this of him - "For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you brother." Phil. 1:7
What happened between the time we see Elijah under the juniper tree running scared and asking God to take his life and the time we see him again encountering God and moving on? How do you go from running-scared-prophet to back-in-the-saddle-again proclaimer of God’s Word? If you will tolerate an oxymoron, I believe the answer is profoundly simple - the angels came and ministered to him - strengthened him - bore with him. They came to him in his darkness and held up the light, in his sorrow, and showed him the joy, in his failure and ministered to him strength.
This morning as I close - will you choose to be a refreshing to the saints? The Lord knows there are enough who drain them. Will you strengthen those around you? Will you, because of the humility, gentleness and patience God has put in you, make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bonds of peace? Will you bear with one another in love?
If you will do that, if you will refresh the saints, strengthen those around you, make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace, our experience of community will be more authentic, the manifestation of Christ in our midst will be more real, and Christ will be formed in us in ways we never knew was possible.
And maybe then we will discover the truth of a profound statement I read this week - "Happiness is an Oily Beard" Psalm 133

\\ ----
[1]McGee, J. Vernon: /Thru the Bible Commentary/. electronic ed. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1997, c1981, S. 5:250

[2]MacDonald, William ; Farstad, Arthur: /Believer's Bible Commentary : Old and New Testaments/. Nashville : Thomas Nelson, 1997, c1995, S. Eph 4:2

[3]Wuest, Kenneth S.: /Wuest's Word Studies from the Greek New Testament : For the English Reader/. Grand Rapids : Eerdmans, 1997, c1984, S. Eph 4:1

[4]Boles, Kenneth L.: /Galatians & Ephesians/. Joplin, Mo. : College Press, 1993 (The College Press NIV Commentary), S. Eph 4:2

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