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THE IDEAL WIFE Always beautiful and cheerful. Could have married movie stars but wanted only you. Beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm. Never sick. Just allergic to jewelry and fur coats. Insists that moving furniture by herself is good for her figure. Expert in cooking, cleaning the house, fixing the…

Getting into fights A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes,"…