The Christian Household (NKL Pt. 8)

Turn to Col. 3:18

Recap

NKL series pt. 8! 2 months in Colossians

NEW KINGDOM by GRACE....HOW to LIVE?

Indicative & Imperative…FOUNDATION = WHAT GOD HAS DONE…THEN COMMANDS

MOST COMMANDS in TODAY’S PASSAGE...

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LAST WEEK - put on, "DRESS YOURSELF”, with certain ATTRIBUTES:

Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, & patience, with love as a coat.

Do everything in the name (for the glory of Jesus Christ) with thanksgiving to the Father.

There’s DO DAYS OFF/CASUAL DAYS.

TODAY - CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS for GOD’S GLORY.

WIVES, HUSBANDS,CHILDREN, FATHERS, SLAVES & MASTERS...

IMPLICATIONS BASED on SLAVE/MASTER even if NOT EXISTING TODAY.

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Read Text (Col. 3:18-4:1) & Pray

Intro:

Family unit is the foundation for a healthy church & healthy society.

BUILDING BLOCK of SOCIETY…CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT.

This is a FACT that has been KNOWN for THOUSANDS of YEARS…as seen in the HOUSEHOLD CODES in the ROMAN empire.

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This is why our ADVERSARY is COMMITTED to DESTROYING the BIBLICAL FAMILY

Homosexuality, Transgender issues, Abortion, Divorce, ETC.

Strong BIBLICAL FAMILIES SHINE a LIGHT in a dark world.

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The FAMILY is GOD’S DESIGN/IDEA…ONE MAN + ONE WOMAN + CHILDREN (Godwilling)

Goes back to CREATION:

Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

JESUS says: MATT. 19:6 - “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate”...

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MARRIAGE is DIFFICULT—but it is GOD’S PLAN, for BROKEN THINGS to be FIXED.... NOT THROWN AWAY...

CHRIST-CENTERED makes all the DIFFERENCE in all our RELATIONSHIPS.

CONFORMING to the IMAGE of CHRIST....TRANSFORMS RELATIONSHIPS

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Text:

Colossians 3:18–4:1 (ESV)

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

LEAST POPULAR/MOST CONTROVERSIAL

BUT, IT’S FOUND in ALL BIBLICAL HOUSEHOLD COMMANDS: HERE, Titus, Ephesians, and 1 Peter.

SUBMIT is an IMPERATIVE or command

Submit means to “SUBJECT ONESELF” to “subordinate” “to PLACE ONESELF UNDER” or “obey” it involves a RECOGNITION of an ORDERED STRUCTURE.

GOD has a FAMILY STRUCTURE!

MEN are CALLED to LEAD.

Highly controversial…FEMINISM…Women can do everything men can do...

MEN AREN’T BETTER, it is merely GOD’S STRUCTURE...

It isn’t a patriarchal hierarchy that is merely held over from antiquity, it is God’s design.

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**DIFFICULTY in Bible INTERPRETATION/Paul’s letters specifically....how much is CULTURAL/SITUATIONAL specific VS. UNIVERSAL??

Some PEOPLE CLAIM the HOUSEHOLD CODE, women submitting just a CULTURAL CONSTRUCT.

>>> ??? Then are HUSBANDS NOT OBLIGATED to LOVE their WIVES.... & CHILDREN OBEY?

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PAUL BEGINS w/ ROMAN household STRUCTURE…but DOESN’T TRANSMIT it UNINTERPRETED...

ROMANS taught for MEN to RULE their WIVES, NOT LOVE them.

Paul has just as much expectation for those with the most authority in the home, as he does for the rest.

PERSONAL CONCLUSION: HOUSEHOLD CODE isn’t just for COLOSSAE...

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However… “SUBMIT” DOESN’T PLAINLY and immediately mean “OBEY”, PAUL uses a DIFFERENT WORD to characterize CHILDREN w/ parents and SLAVES w/ masters.

HUSBAND has GOD-GIVEN AUTHORITY.... but the RELATIONSHIP doesn’t REFLECT a PARENT/CHILD one.

WIFE is CALLED to WILLINGLY ORDER HERSELF UNDER her HUSBAND & his leadership of the home.

Eph. 5 - MARRIAGE reflects CHRIST & the CHURCH…Christ as head.

MAN should USE his God-given AUTHORITY as CHRIST does, in a LOVING way, NOT ABUSIVE or DOMINEERING.

NATURAL RELATIONSHIPS SHOWCASE our spiritual RELATIONSHIP with GOD...

WIVES show SUBJECTION to CHRIST by SUBMITTING to HUSBANDS, husbands show SUBJECTION to Christ by LOVING THEIR WIVES, etc…ALL acknowledge the higher authority...

DOESN’T make WIVES 2ND RATE, or mean husbands can’t help…but GOD has an ORDER.

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19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

PATTERN: Paul addresses VULNERABLE PARTY 1st, then one with authority.

Wives/Husbands....Children/Fathers....Slaves/Masters...

Husband gets 2 commands.

CALLED to LOVE his WIFE.

Eph. 5: AS CHRIST LOVES the CHURCH!!

WIFE’S COMMAND to submit is DIFFICULT, BUT HUSBAND is called to LOVE AS CHRIST loved the church! Is there any higher standard/bar??

Commanded to NOT BE HARSH, or BITTER.

NOT GROWING RESENTFUL, but to love them.

LIVE so your WIFE would DELIGHT to SUBMIT to your leadership.

Leading the household through love & gratitude…not domineering!!

A husband who isn’t willing to love & lead his family, both naturally and spiritually, shouldn’t expect anyone to submit to him.

Men are the example:

Make church a priority

Pray before meals

Pray before bed or in the morning or both

Have family Bible reading

God’s order is for men to lead the household in these things...

So don’t let your wife and kids down by being apathetic about spiritual things and your own walk with God.

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Again, husbands example & leadership should ALL be DONE out of LOVE!

ROMAN husbands commanded to “RULE”

CHRISTIAN husbands commanded to “LOVE”

***COUNSELING CLASS - marriage counseling SAMPLE…Dan, “Isn’t she supposed to submit to me?”

***HUSBAND who commands/DEMANDS wife to SUBMIT, ISN’T LOVING.

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***Note how the COMMAND is to the INDIVIDUAL, not the other party.

FULFILLING OWN ROLE, IT WILL WORK OUT.

YOU LOVE THEM, THEY LOVE YOU = EVERYONE’S NEEDS MET.

HARDER than BEING SELFISH…but MORE HEALTHY.

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20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

***ALL household COMMANDS are PREFACED with SUBMISSION to the LORD! The BELIEVER’S HIGHEST CALLING & 1ST RESPONSIBILITY

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Wife’s submission to husband - in the Lord.

Child’s obedience to parent - in the Lord.

PERMISSION to DISOBEY ungodly/SINFUL COMMANDS

But can still be done with honor.

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COMMAND SHOWS: GOD CARES about CHILDREN, they AREN’T 2ND RATE members of Kingdom!

ADDRESSED DIRECTLY!

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21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

PARENTS - have REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS. Don’t be overly demanding = discouragement!

DON’T BE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE!!

YES, AGE APPROPRIATE EXPECTATIONS

YES, INMATES NOT RUNNING ASYLUM

EVERYTHING in LOVE & SUBMISSION to the LORD.

Don’t make your kids miserable and bitter against the church because they can’t meet some overly dogmatic standards that have been put in place.

REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS, but a SURE STANDARD.

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NEXT: TOUGH ISSUE BONDSERVANTS/SLAVES

Why didn’t Paul advocate for manumission of all slaves? etc.

Look at this & cultural context & see implications for today.

1st Century Historical Background of Slavery

Not racially or ethnically based, like in early America

Slaves were both property and people, considered citizens.

Most slaves could work for freedom, could save money & possessions

Slave’s life largely depended on their master...

some masters were abusive, etc.

slaves who worked in mines had it really bad.

Those in good households better than poor freemen because their needs were met!

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Addressing MANUMISSION:

In 1st century, not on the radar to abolish institution as a whole..

Paul addresses how this relationship should be transformed by one’s faith (at minimum)

While Paul doesn’t advocate for freedom across the board, the one specific case we know of that is basically what he asks for

Philemon & Onesimus…letter to Philemon delivered alongside the letter to the Colossians

NO JUSTIFICATION, BUT PERSPECTIVE....

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22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

Bondservant/Slave = common household member in 1st century Roman cities

Concerning slavery, Doug Moo writes, “He tells slaves and masters how they are to conduct themselves within the institution, but it is a bad misreading of Paul to read into his teaching approval of the institution itself”

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Slaves are COMMANDED to OBEY exactly VERBATIM as CHILDREN were.

But, slaves were to do their WORK from the HEART to the LORD! Not working as PEOPLE-PLEASERS or JUST to LOOK GOOD .

Their obedience was not to be out of fear of their earthly master, but out of reverence for their heavenly master.

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In another place....Paul points out that SLAVES are FREE in CHRIST, and FREEMEN are SLAVES in CHRIST.

All people who are in Christ, experience both freedom from sin and death, and likewise are called to serve him in everything, or to be his slave!

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23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Not necessarily a generic command....written to slaves!

“Work from your soul to the Lord”

REGARDLESS of SURVEILLANCE, WORK HARD. Heavenly master is always watching.

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Consider how this SPEAKS to US today as EMPLOYEES or business owners.

GLORIFY GOD through WORK, regardless of who’s watching…because our heavenly master is.

John Maxwell - “I get to” not “I got to”

Story - plowing Sunday mornings in Coudersport.

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Paul concludes, they “WILL RECEIVE” the INHERITANCE as reward.

Could have used Subjunctive “might receive”

Yet it’s a confident promise, “will receive”

NO SENSE of “IF” here…confident expectation.

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SLAVES probably didn’t receive INHERITANCE from EARTHLY MASTERS....maybe?

Paul reminds them, you’re just passing through, this LIFE is TEMPORARY, an ETERNAL INHERITANCE awaits you!

Eternal inheritance in glory is WORTH the STRUGGLES in this life....

Gold City I’m Rich, “He has redeemed and forgiven me of all of my sins, He took me in, He’s building me a mansion beyond compare, Hallelujah, I’m a millionaire”

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Reminder for all of us: SIGHTS SET on HEAVEN.

EARTHLY INHERITANCE = LITTLE CONCERN…HEAVENLY INHERITANCE = GREATEST CONCERN

"He who dies with the most toys wins...”

Dave R. - “He who dies with the most toys is still dead”

Earthly accumulation is nothing to live for! Pales in comparison.

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GOSPEL

No matter who you are naturally....man, woman, child, free, slave, wealthy, poor....ALL of us NEED a SAVIOR. Because the ONLY THING that is GUARANTEED for all of us who live is DEATH.

All of us are born in sin- need a savior...

Christ died on the cross for you and me…paying the price for our sins.

No matter who we are, we can be saved if we repent from our sin and put our faith and trust in Christ alone...

we’ll receive his righteousness and stand before a holy God safely on judgment day!

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Paul concludes verse 25 by explaining that they are SERVING the Lord CHRIST. LITERALLY they are being a SLAVE FOR CHRIST...

Your service as a slave is really for Jesus...

So while I’m thankful that we don’t have slaves today and that slavery has been condemned for the evil that it is, it is helpful to see these words in Scripture as it gives us this really unique perspective on how we can serve the Lord with our lives today.

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Concluding address to slaves:

25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

ALL of us will receive an EVALUATION from GOD…NO PARTIALITY, no matter who you are naturally you still have to stand before God and give an account

Is the BLOOD PLEADING YOUR ACCOUNT? Or are you alone?

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1 Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

EARTHLY MASTERS have a HEAVENLY MASTER

There is a KING HIGHER than ALL NATURAL KINGS, lord, president, or dictator..we’re all UNDER HIS SOVEREIGN RULE!!

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MAN = GREATEST ## OF COMMANDS

Same man (likely)- husband, father, master. = highest authority....and highest responsibility/STANDARD

Big Idea:

All of our human relationships must be filtered and transformed through our faith in Christ and our submission to his Lordship, because no matter what authority we have naturally we are under his authority.

No matter our earthly position, called to submit to Christ.

Submission to Christ = transformation of natural relationships.

Wives can’t claim they are submitted to Christ and disrespect their husbands and usurp their authority

Husbands can’t claim they are submitted to Christ if they are unloving, rude, and bitter against their wives

Children can’t claim they are submitted to Christ if they are disobedient to their parents

Slaves/Servants can’t claim they are submitted to Christ if they are poor workers who disrespect their masters

Masters couldn’t claim that they were submitted to Christ if they were in any way treating their slaves or servants poorly or abusing them.

NO RELATIONSHIP if left UNIMPACTED.

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EVERY HOUSEHOLD = DIFFERENT

BUT our RELATIONSHIPS, especially CLOSEST, should REFLECT CHRIST

Takeaways:

So, in closing I want to share a few takeaways with you all this morning.

For those in authority: Commentary Quote: “Paul’s teaching in these verses in Colossians seems to be that submission to appropriate authority is no problem where that authority figure is Christ-like.”

MEN & PARENTS.... EXAMINE YOURSELF- how do you treat the other members of the family?

For men: Don’t expect your wife to willingly follow your leadership if you aren’t first following the leadership of your Lord.

For WIVES.

SUBMITTING to your HUSBAND = SUBMITTING to CHRIST

HUSBAND is IMPERFECT, but he’s been given a POSITION BY GOD to LEAD the home.

FOCUS on our OWN ROLES, not imperfections of others...

Doesn’t mean you don’t have a say (by any means) but ultimately leadership is husband’s responsibility...

for HUSBANDS and fathers, you are RESPONSIBLE to LOVE and CARE for your FAMILY. Additionally, you are to be the SPIRITUAL LEADER in your home.

Studies show: FAMILY FOLLOWS the FATHER TO CHRIST most often!

If you don’t make spiritual things a priority, don’t expect your wife to take care of it, and don’t expect your kids to value it.

GREAT RESPONSIBILITY on your SHOULDERS…your wife will likely be looking to you for leadership whether you realize it or not!

For CHILDREN. It is GOD’S DESIRE for you to OBEY your PARENTS!

Even adult children are called to honor their parents.

Showcasing your faith through obedience!

For all of us, this passage is a reminder that our relationships in general should reflect our salvation to the world around us. How we treat others says a lot more about our savior than merely our words do. Especially in our closest relationships. God cares about our households and each member individually. So we want to be sure to honor God’s desire by fulfilling the roles he has called us to, thereby showing our submission to Jesus Christ, and bringing glory to him through all we do.

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Communion....

A TIME to REFLECT on our own walk with the Lord and where we stand before him and where we stand in our relationships with one another…

I want to offer a MOMENT for everyone to PAUSE and CONSIDER these things, especially as FAMILIES today, before we partake today.

1 Corinthians 11:23–28 ESV

23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes. 27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.