Untitled Sermon (2)

There are counts of scripture over the years that have been removed from their context

They have been used to beat up and to harm and this passage is one of them

This is a beautiful passage in its context

It is a hopeful passage in its context and it is a life giving passage in its context

It actually would beckon women to leave abusive situations and not stay

And where this passage has been twisted to harm

If you have ever grown up in a house as a little girl and you have saw a domineering and abusive father I want to say that I am sorry

I pray that the Holy Spirit would minister you to you today and heal some of those broken pieces

Anyone that has ever used this passage to imprison a woman where she Has had to keep her mouth shut while she was being beat up is way outside of the heart of God and the truth of this text

If you pull this passage Out of its context you can see the control Of a woman having to wear a long dress And no make upAnd no make up

But rotley put in its context I think that this passage not only protects women and children but is literally a seed that went in the ground that has led us to this moment

Where women are seen as fully human fully human you can still find pockets where they are still traded like they were in the 1st century under what is called the Peter familia

We will talk more about that in the moment

What I want for us is to see the passage in its context and what the passage says

The passage doesn't say what you want it to say it actually says something

You can't be like what does this passage say to me

Stop asking that question

The text doesn't say anything to you

The text says something and the Holy Spirit will reveal to you how you should be shaped and molded by

But to think but to think that the text can mean a 1000 things is silly and leads to abuse instead of allowing it's beauty to shape us

What we're what we're talking about is how we are to live Lives of beauty in a world that sees What you and I believe is hostile

This passage sits in a long list of how you and I are to live as believers and the authority of unbelievers

The primary way We do that is to live lives of beauty and goodness submitted to Jesus

So that the world might smell the aroma of cross and they see him in our marriages and our friendships. The way we raise our children and spend our money

You and I are to be marked by the goodness of God

The world will either see As salt and light or we will be the stink of death as it brings conviction

In week one and versus 13 30 17 Peter tells everyone they are to submit

How are you and I to live

In beauty and goodness submitted to Jesus

As citizens we are to be the best citizens we possibly can be

We don't ever obey laws that put us against the kingdom of God but we are to be the best citizens we can be

Submission isn't a woman's issue that's Not the way they started

Peter didn't go oh we need to talk about the ladies

No he says everyone submit

Then he gives 8 verses to the servant

Then he gave 6 verses to the wives that are married to unbelieving husbands

Then Peter gives one verse to the husband Of an unbelieving wife

I think what is happening in this passage yes he goes from least to greatest in regards to power and the ability to make things happen

He starts with the servants that had almost no power and ability to make things happen

Then he moves to the woman with 6 verses and then to the man Where's pattern familiar

That is the context we found this in

So what does it look like to be faithful to Jesus in a home where the spouse is an unbeliever

That's the question the passage is answering

1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

He starts out with likewise linking them to the previous passages

In Roman civilization the code the law of the land when it came to family was called patter familiar

I encourage you to look it up and show you the power of the gospel

Powder familiar stated that the man the husband in the Roman household had complete aquatic authority over the household until he was dead

Here's what that means that means if you're 37 and your daddy still alive guess who's not grown

Guess who can't make their own decisions

Yes you can't buy anything without daddy's permission

Some of you are in here like I wish my daddy would try

Will let me keep going down the log

Under this system the father had the power of life-and-death

There are tons of examples historically where the father put to death his grandchildren for dishonoring and disrespecting him

This is the world that this is being written into

When a child was born the father Decided whether or not to keep the baby

And that's one reason why the early church exploded

The early church was like you don't want them we'll take them

All those babies that the Romans didn't want the church said will raise them

This is wild to me in pattern familiar domestic abuse was viewed as acceptable And it was The normal way to shape your wife into what she should be

Like you would spank your wife like you would spank your kids

You would beat your wife like you would beat your kids

And this is the Roman world that this is being written into

The wives were expected to worship the same gods that the husband did

Women were on a social scale between slaves and men and they were still not considered fully human

And all of this is what Peter is rotting in to

Peter starts by saying what not to do

He starts by saying that they may be one that's the hope

You have women that have already been married and they come to know Jesus

So these women are all in they're not cultural christians this will get you killed

This is a woman that says Jesus is my all and now open up my heart to what I am meant to do

Peter says if you want to win your husband across

Win him not with words but with words

I wanna create a safe place before I say this

No man has ever been nagged into the kingdom of God

No man on Saturday night has ever submitted to Jesus cause his wife was like oh you're just going to sleep in tomorrow you're gonna watch the basketball game you're not raising our kids in the admonition of the Lord you're not spending our money in a godly way

No man has ever just been like OK

Did you know that The Bible says it is better for man to die in the desert then to live in the house with a contentious woman

Like the word of God says that

Like the word of God sees a man getting hint packed to death and God says

Yeah man it would probably be better for you to just head to the desert and are there there

Listen if you can nag him into doing it's begrudging not legitimate and not what you actually won't

Peter says let him be one without a word

Read verse 3

Not only do you not win them by words but you don't win them by seducing Them

Ladies this is a call not to manipulate

If you believe with an unbelieving man don't manipulate

If you want to win him don't use sex as a weapon

If you want to win him let it be by your beauty not by manipulation

If he senses it he will resent you

If he are soft he will cater to you but not really mean it and that's not what you

If that's not what we're supposed to do then what are we supposed to do

Look back with me at verse 2

Read verse 2

Let me give you 2 principles that are great for marriage but especially if you have an unbelieving man

Be an expert in his strength

He might not know and love Jesus but I can guarantee you hes doing something right

If you just paid attention and wasn't dialed in to what hes not doing you would see and be able to speak To the good he is doing

There's this thing that people think that unbelievers can't be happy

Instead of you being focused on hes not a believer hes not raising our children The way I want him to

He's not spending our money Lucky loves Jesus

If that's your focus it's not pure and it is disrespectful

What does it look like for you to be an expert in a strength motivated out of your love for him and your love for Jesus

To be able to say I love the way you provide for our family

What does it look like for you to come alongside him and support him and the good that he does

To help him flourish

Things like I love the way you spend time with our kids I see the things that you're doing

That is showing respect and a pure heart and the beauty of Jesus living inside you

Ladies been expert in his strengths

Get a phD in his strength and find out what hes good at and tell him hes good at it

That is pure and respectful

Look with me at verse 4 redivert read verse 4

This verse in no way says a woman should be quiet and deal with their unbelieving husband

Where is your effort and where are you spending your time

It's not and trying to look good enough To rue him into the kingdom

It's a cultivation of the peace of God in our hearts that Jesus can save

Man don't Need a quiet woman with nothing to say

I can't be all that God wants me to be without Stephanie having some strength in a spine

If she is never willing to say you know I love you you know I'm your biggest fan but this

Like you don't see me in my weakest moments Stephanie sees me

If she brings to me respectfully and out of a pure heart a critique

I want that and I need that iron sharpens iron

Look with me at versus 5 and 6

In these verses God Puts women with unbelieving husbands right in the middle of the redemptive story

Abraham and Sarah are Christian royalty that God used for the gospel to go forth

He is telling them you are in the heart of the family of old

Read verse 7

He says likewise he is saying husbands that are married to a unbelieving wife

In this verse it is the man that has come to know Jesus and the wife is worshipping Roman gods

The word vessel most of the time in the New Testament references the physical body

It speaks of the fact that we grow old that we are easily breakable and not hard to kill

What you're saying in this passage is for the husband to refrain from the physical dishonor of their wife

If you remember in the powder familiar

How do you get your wife to do what you want

You beat her into submission that's what you do

In the powder familiar it was completely legal and ordinary

This is the advice the culture would give you

She's not worshiping the same God as you

She's not worshipping Jesus you're going to have to give her a whippin

Drive her to church

Because of the gospel and the work it has done to even think like that feels like a billion years ago

It's because of the seed of the gospel that it is now a tree today

And what Peter is saying is don't touch her

He's saying you don't physically bully her

You don't use your strength against her

Or your size against her

Then he turns to the positive and says she is a air we

She is not your property she is not some plaything for Your pleasure

She is a daughter of the king of kings and you better not put your hands on her cause God is not going to hear your prayers

You want to know how serious God is about protecting his daughters

You use your size to bully her your voice to intimidate her God's like all right you're out

I'm just going to cut you off

And you pray to God like I want my business to grow I want my kids to And I'd love it if you would

And God's luck I'm not hearing anything from you

You're not in submission to me you're not in submission to anybody you're your own God

And I'm not listening until you repent

God says she's an air

That's part of your flesh

Attorney gave you to help you flourish

Before saying enter the world he saw a man and he said that's not good

It is not good that man should be alone and he gives him a partner And a CO labor

In God's design Stephanie has been given to me for my good

When we are both submitted to God's design and we are one flesh and we allow each other to work out of our strengths that god Has given us I don't have to be domineering

I have to be submitted to God and see my wife's strength and allow her to work out of those strengths knowing that she loves me and Jesus And what's the best for both of us

Man be an expert in your wife's strength and celebrate those in her law

I'm going to close like this

Ladies if you have ever been through an abusive relationship I want to say I'm sorry that is not a representation of God

It is not a representation of his love or the gospel and I pray that the power of the Holy Spirit would bring you healing and comfort and peace in a way that brings honor and glory to Jesus

If you're a man here today and you realize that God has brought conviction into your life about the way that you have treated your wife whether it's verbal physical or whatever God says repent

Turn from that and seek my face and then I will hear your prayers

It's time to surrender whatever it is in your life it's time to come and lay it before Jesus and let him bring healing to it

You might be here And realize you need Jesus today you come and bring all the junk that's in your life and Jesus will step into that mess but you gotta submit you gotta stop drawing alarms in the sand and raise the white flag and say I surrender