Rad Week 4- Peace

WHAT? What are we talking about today?

ACTIVITY | Buzzer Pager Codebreaker

Welcome back to Rad, where we're flashing back to the 90s — an era when everything was pretty "rad," except the cell phones. Until cell phones became popular in the late 90s, most people used pagers. Pagers were kind of like texting, except you could only send a handful of characters at a time, which meant you had to get pretty creative. Plus, a lot of pagers could only send numbers — no letters!

INSTRUCTIONS: For this game, you'll need a white board or screen and two buzzers. Split your students into two teams or bring two contestants to the front. On the white board or screen, list the numeric codes below, or invent your own. To play, say a phrase from the list below and ask which pager code students think would communicate that phrase. For each question, have players hit their buzzers when they think they know the answer and then explain why they chose that code. Award points for correct answers and creative ones too. End with the phrase, "We need to talk (121)."

143 = I LOVE YOU: Because of the number of letters in each word.

1543 = I STILL LOVE YOU: Because of the number-of-letters thing again.

14 = HI: It spells "hi" when you hold it upside down.

07734 = HELLO: It spells "hello" when you hold it upside down.

607 = I MISS YOU: No idea why, but maybe because the zero is separating the 6 and 7? 477 = BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: It's the number-of-letters thing again.

007 = I HAVE A SECRET: Because James Bond had secrets?

823 = THINKING OF YOU: It's the number-of-letters thing again.

121 = WE NEED TO TALK: Because you need a "one-to-one conversation."

VIDEO | "Saved By The Bell"

Is there any phrase more terrifying than "we need to talk?" It's the universal signal things are about to get tense. Whether you're hearing it from a parent, friend, teacher, boyfriend, or girlfriend, it means there's a conflict that needs to be resolved. If you were growing up in the 90s, there's one source you could always trust to help you resolve a conflict: television. Saved By The Bell, for example. In this show about a group of high school friends, conflicts always got resolved in 30 minutes or less. In one episode, friends Zack and Slater were interested in the same girl at the same time. So what did these two friends do? They tried to sabotage each other's chances with her, of course. Let's see what happened after a few of those sabotage attempts.

INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play a short clip from the episode "The Fight (Season 5, Episode 1)" (15:20-16:08) streaming on Hulu or on YouTube (0:00-0:48), of Zack and Slater fighting.

POLL | What About You?

*Title Slide*

Maybe you've never been in a fight with your friend in the hallway over a crush (or maybe you have), but we all know what it's like to fight with others.

INSTRUCTIONS: Have students reply to the following questions by raising their hands. So what about you?

Have you been in a fight recently?

Are you fighting with someone now?

In the middle of a fight, have you ever done something you regret?

Have you ever wished someone would just tell you how to resolve a fight peacefully?

We all know what it's like to fight, but we don't always know how to make peace.

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

QUESTION | What is peace?

What is peace? How would you define it?

INSTRUCTIONS: Give a few students a chance to respond. To you, maybe "peace" means "quiet," or "calm," or "not fighting." Maybe you've experienced peace . . .

When you were somewhere quiet by yourself.

When everyone in your home was getting along.

When you and your friend finally made up after a big fight.

Peace is a great thing! But we often don't appreciate it until it's missing.

STORY | Talk about a time things weren't peaceful.

INSTRUCTIONS: Tell a story from your own life (or ask a volunteer or student tell a story) about a time when a relationship wasn't peaceful. Don't spend all your time rehashing the fight, though. Instead, share how it felt to not be at peace or know how to resolve the fight. Share whether or not you even wanted to resolve things. You'll come back to this story later, so end it with a cliffhanger.

My best friend Scott Manis lived two houses down from me on Lookout Drive.

He was 6’4 and skinny, I was 5’6 and pudgy.

But we just got along- we were both chill, liked video games, both had a crush on Britney Spears, and we would roller blade or ride our bikes all over the neighborhood.

But this one time, we got into an argument about something (can’t even remember what it was- probably stupid)

And it felt terrible and awkward whenever I saw Scott.

I tried to apologize for whatever I did to upset him, but he wasn’t having it.

And it felt like it would be this way for FOREVER...

THAT'S RAD

Today, we're going to talk about having fights and making peace because, as we'll see, God has something to say about this — and it's pretty radical. But like we mentioned last week, there were a lot of people who thought Jesus was too "radical."

In the 90s, "rad" meant "cool." But it's real meaning has to do with being different, revolutionary, and counter-cultural. What Jesus said about loving God and others was radical, and what He teaches us about peace is pretty radical too.

SCRIPTURE | James 3:16, 4:1-3

Throughout this series, we're looking to the Bible for practical advice on how to change the world with God's radical love, and that search has led us to the book of James.

Remember, this "book" is a letter written by a guy named James, Jesus' brother. Because he knew Jesus so well, the letter James wrote is packed with summaries of Jesus' teachings, retold in James' own words. James is known for his straightforward instructions on how to follow Jesus. These teachings might seem simple, but they have the power to create radical change. Let's see what James says about peace — and about fighting.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read James 3:16, 4:1-3.

Ouch! James get straight to the point here. Why do we fight with each other? Because we're selfish. And he's right, right? We fight because . . .

Sometimes we're greedy. We want what we want, and when we don't get it we try to take it from others or punish them for not giving us what we want.

Sometimes we're self-centered. Maybe we didn't mean to be selfish, but we didn't really think about how what we said or did might impact someone else. We were busy thinking about ourselves.

Sometimes we're just defensive. When we're hurt, stressed, insecure, or feeling like things are out of control, we often resort to selfishness to try to protect ourselves. Like a wounded animal, we lash out at others when we feel threatened. We may not intend to be hurtful, but when we're hurting, we often hurt others. For all humans, selfishness is a reflex. But it doesn't usually accomplish what we think it's going to. Selfishness doesn't keep us safe, or get us what we really need, or make our lives better. Instead, selfishness leads to fighting and damaged relationships — with others and with God.

SCRIPTURE | James 3:16-18

But what's the alternative to selfishness and conflict? Let's see what James says. INSTRUCTIONS: Read James 3:16-18

James 3:16–18 NIV

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

James calls us to be "peacemakers." That's an interesting word, if you think about it.

It tells us peace isn't something that happens accidentally. It needs to be made. It implies it's normal to see fighting and conflict, because you can't be a peacemaker when things are already peaceful. But it doesn't imply all conflict is bad or should be avoided. James didn't tell us to be "peacekeepers" who silence or avoid anything disruptive or uncomfortable. Making peace isn't the same as keeping the peace. James also helps us see how we might become peacemakers — with wisdom that comes from heaven. Huh? Does that mean God is going to drop little peacemaking instruction manuals from the sky? Uh, no. It means God can teach us how to be peacemakers. How?

Through the Holy Spirit who guides and empowers us. Through the words and example of Jesus, who is God in the flesh.

SCRIPTURE | Matthew 5:9

When Jesus was on earth, He said a lot of radical things, but one of the most radical was what we call The Sermon on the Mount — literally a sermon He preached while standing on a Mountain.

In this sermon, Jesus took the world's understanding of who God was pleased with and completely flipped it upside down. Jesus often said things like, "You've heard ___, but I say ___." This flipping of conventional wisdom gave people a new and better way to understand loving God and loving others. Think back to Zack and A.C. Slater, or that last fight you had at home, or the fight you're in right now with a friend. You might think winning that fight is the mark of success. You might think compromise is admitting defeat. But listen to what Jesus says.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read Matthew 5:9

Matthew 5:9 NIV

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Jesus is telling us to be people who fight for peace, instead of fighting for our own self interest. And when we do, He says we'll be blessed and called God's children.

This is the opposite of our human nature. We usually want what's best for us. We don't want to compromise! It's the opposite of the world's understanding too. We often celebrate strength, dominance, and winning at all costs. But Jesus, God Himself, shows us a different way. He didn't just talk about it. He lived it. When Jesus came to earth, His goal was to make peace between us and God. He didn't do it by fighting with us. He did it by laying down His life on our behalf. Can you imagine how your family, friends, school, or the world, could be different if we decided to fight for peace with each other instead of fighting against each other? If we loved others more like Jesus loves us, the change would be radical. So do you want to see that radical change? Are you not sure what you think about Jesus yet, but you know you want to see more good and less hate in the world?

Then James tells us how:

radical people fight for peace.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

STORY | Finish your story about when things weren't peaceful.

It's not always easy to find your way out of a fight. But peace is possible — even when it doesn't seem likely.

A few weeks after our fallout, Scott and I made peace with each other and started hanging again. It was a big deal for both of us, bc we missed hanging with each other and the tension between us made us feel like garbage.

We live in different states now and haven’t seen each other in years, but we are still friends and chat every once in a while.

HOW TO BE A PEACEMAKER

In a conflict, you can never totally control the outcome, but you can always contribute to making peace in some small way. Here are a few ideas to help you get started.

STOP THE DRAMA (DON'T START IT). We all start drama more than we care to admit. Our words, looks, actions, or inaction are all capable of hurting others and creating conflict. What small thing can you do this week to be drama-stopper instead of a drama-starter?

BUILD A BRIDGE (DON'T BURN IT). When we're hurt or angry, we often want to hit back, take revenge, or end a relationship. When a relationship is unhealthy or abusive, walking away is probably the best thing you can do. But most of the time, the more radical (and Jesus-like) response is to reach out instead of push people away. Do you have any damaged relationships that could be repaired by rebuilding a bridge you once burned?

FIGHT FOR OTHERS (NOT JUST YOURSELF). Being a peacemaker isn't always about righting wrongs in your relationships. Sometimes it's about righting wrongs in the world. We can be peacemakers by fighting for others who need help, or support, or a friend, or an advocate. Who's someone (or something bigger than yourself) you could fight for?

MAKE PEACE WITH GOD (NOT JUST OTHERS). For the last few weeks, we've spent a lot of time talking about how Jesus teaches us to love others, but don't forget about Jesus' most important goal — to make a way for us to have peace with God.

*Title Slide*

Through Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, you and I have the opportunity to be close to God, even after our sin separated us. If you don't yet have peace with God, you can find that peace through Jesus. If you do have peace with God, then making peace with others is one of the ways you can join Jesus on His mission of bringing heaven to earth. It's easy to fight for ourselves. It's much more radical to do the difficult thing and fight for peace. But this week, I hope you do.

RESPONSE | Peace Be With You

For centuries, followers of Jesus all over the world have practiced a simple but very meaningful gesture I want to teach you. It's sometimes called "Passing the Peace."

We reach out our hands to each other, just like Jesus reaches out to us. We shake hands or hug to show each other that, despite our differences, we're still united. We say, "Peace be with you," just like Jesus said to His followers, as a promise to each other that we'll fight for peace with each other, instead of fighting against each other.

INSTRUCTIONS: Have your students turn to each other and take turns saying, "God's peace be with you," and, "Also with you." As we wrap up this series, I want to leave you with one last challenge. When you leave here today, will you decide to do something radical? Will you decide to love God and others better this week by . . .

Listening more?

Not playing favorites?

Watching your words?

Fighting for peace?

title slide

Two thousand years ago, the world was changed forever when Jesus showed us how to love like this. Now God's inviting us to continue changing the world by loving others with the radical love of Jesus. So, will you?