He Has Borne Our Griefs and Carried Our Sorrows 6-26-05

He Has Borne Our Griefs and

Carried Our Sorrows

6/26/05

Is 53:4 “Surely HE has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows ...”

Pain happens in life – now a part of the human experience

Opening . . . .

Loss/death/pain was not intended to be a part of human experience

·                    In the Before time

·                    IN the Garden

But when death/sin came in

·                    God IMMEDIATELY begin to create a way

·                    For MAN to be restored

·                    AND for Healing/comfort to come into place of loss

Death never meant to be a part of human equation

·                    Pain/loss same thing

·                    But when it came – God created GRIEF to be the doorway to freedom

Want to take some time today as we prepare to go the Lord’s table – and talk about How God’s design is to comfort/restore and HEAL us in places of grief/sorrow.

Is 53:4 “Surely HE has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows ...”

You can grieve LOTS of things:

·                    Obviously if someone close to you dies

·                    But you can grieve ANY loss in your life

o       Maybe it’s a disappointment at your job

o       Maybe it’s in a relationship with someone else

o       Maybe you failed/disappointed yourself – and you GRIEVE the mistake you made

Someone finding out they have a disease/sickness begins a period of grief

·                    Coming THROUGH the pain of what you’re facing – working through the issues they’ve brought on your life.

I’ve had RELATIONSHIPS I’ve grieved

·                    Worked CLOSELY with an awesome couple for a number of years

·                    Flew around the country – the world with them.

·                    Consulted/counseled/walked with them in an international ministry.

·                    We had a BLAST together.

·                    But the day came when God led them on into something new – and moved ME ON into something new.

·                    And I grieved that loss.

Divorces, people moving away

·                    Breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend

·                    Changing schools

·                    Moving to a new area

·                    ALL sorts of things can bring grief/loss in your life.

Some losses in our lives we grieve QUICK

·                    Some take more time

·                    And some we can carry a part of with us for our whole lives.

(Now WHY am I taking time to talk about How to come through to HEALING when you’ve had a place of loss or pain?

·                    Because most human beings – especially Christians – don’t always understand that there’s a PROCESS through the pain

·                    And at the OTHER SIDE of the process – is HOPE – and HEALING

·                    And WITHIN the process – God desires to pour IN His comfort – grace – hope.

·                    MANY TIMES – regularly as I counsel – this issue comes up – almost CONSTANTLY

·                    Where we’re walking through one of these things

·                    And I feel like it’s such a PRACTICAL – LIFE-Giving thing to Understand GOD’S hand on us

·                    HIS desire to meet us on the journey

·                    That I’ve wanted to share on this for some time

·                    And today’s the day!)

Some losses in our life aren’t quick at all

·                    In fact, some – we can carry with us for our whole life

·                    He has borne our GRIEFS and carried our SORROWS

Sorrows – suffering – they ARE a part of life

·                    Fallen world

·                    But JESUS desires to meet us there.

Nancy and me

·                    Chase – autism

·                    Wish we could ‘get over’ the place of loss

·                    We face different pieces of the grief along the journey

·                    Sometimes the grief can be like walking on broken glass – can’t get away from it

·                    And the journey of grief – sorrow – suffering – if we didn’t have Jesus

·                    If we didn’t understand HIS ways to meet us

·                    And how to ACCESS the grace – I don’t think we could do it on our own.

And so as I share with you today about the journey of walking through grief/pain – even suffering

·                    I’m not sharing it with a bumper sticker faith

·                    Like I’ve solved it – and I wish you’d catch up

·                    But really – as I’ve been walking through places of loss – grief and healing

·                    I feel like there are some POWERFUL things that EVERYONE of us needs to grab a hold of.

Things that can help us WALK FREE in these areas

Microwave society doesn’t want to talk about the journey

·                    Christians can even avoid it

·                    God not afraid of what we face on the journey

·                    He isn’t caught off guard

·                    HE is compassionate and want

So what’s the journey of Grief when I face loss/pain in my life?

How do I get THROUGH it so that I’m HEALED on the other side – and not STUCK in a place of PAIN

·                    You know THAT is an issue that many face

·                    Start walking THROUGH the stages of grief

·                    Not knowing what’s happening

·                    And get STUCK there

·                    Jesus has something MUCH better for us

So let’s talk about how grief/loss works

Stages of Grief

·                    People who’ve studied how grief works in our lives will tell you there are about FIVE different stages of grief that we go through.

·                    I believe GOD is the one that invented what these things are – and I believe HE intended them to be a pathway to healing.

·                    Five Stages:

o       Denial

o       Anger

o       Bartering

o       Sadness

o       Acceptance

Explain basic definitions

·                    Will happen in various order (example)

·                    Some times we will ‘trigger back’ to a place where hurt/loss happens because it ‘echoes the pain’ of our loss. (Example)

Don’t you think JESUS understands these stages?

·                    HE invented them

·                    In fact HE wants to walk with us

·                    He has BORNE our griefs/carried our sorrows

Let’s look at each stage

·                    Talk about how Jesus wants to meet us there

·                    And discover how we walk into healing

“Path of the just as a shining light that shines more and more until that perfect day”

Denial:

·                    That’s the part where the loss doesn’t feel real

·                    And we’re numb to the pain

STUCK PLACE

·                    Tourniquet approach

·                    If I don’t feel it – it isn’t there

·                    Car Accident – great care in opening up the channels again

Some times

·                    Place of loss

·                    Disappointment make a vow/decision

·                    “I won’t hope again”

·                    “I’ll quit trying”

Counseled a woman:  Husband was emotionally abusive

·                    Over years came to place where she ‘deadened the emotions’

·                    THAT was her answer to pain – deaden it

·                    How many know – that strategy can have some bad consequences

·                    But GOD was so good to her

·                    Began to heal her – restore her

·                    TAKES TIME

·                    But NOW:  walking freedom – renewed joy

Anger

Interesting stage of grief/loss

·                    One that most Christians aren’t quite sure HOW we’re suppose to handle

·                    After all – we’re Christians – how are we suppose to handle feelings of anger?

·                    Isn’t that non-Christian?

Bible COMMANDS us to be angry!

·                    ‘BE Angry’

·                    How many obeyed that one?

·                    ‘Be angry and SIN NOT’

Anger is a part of the human experience

·                    IN fact, the bible tells us that GOD gets angry

·                    JESUS showed anger

·                    But He didn’t sin

How does anger manifest in grief/loss?

·                    Some times it comes out in UNEXPECTED places

·                    Friend – lost brother

·                    No anger at God – but in traffic/work/etc.

STUCK place

·                    People who get stuck in the ANGER place of grief

·                    Can’t forgive

·                    Can’t move on

·                    HOLD ON to the pain

·                    Bitterness takes root

·                    Like a cancer – eats away at you

·                    Destroys your joy.

How does GOD want us to Respond?

·                    Pour out your HEART to Him – GOD is a refuge for us

·                    David poured out his PAIN to God in scripture

·                    You can SEE the anger he was feeling towards his enemies

·                    He asked God tough questions:  ‘Where are you?’

·                    JESUS on the cross, “Why have you forsaken me?’

BE angry

·                    And sin not

·                    Don’t let it take ROOT in you

·                    Testimony:  recently went through a relationship challenge

·                    Feeling angry/hurt

·                    EMOTIONS:  wanted to LEAD my response

·                    I ‘felt’ – this is a dangerous place what I’m feeling

·                    I cried out to GOD – Lord – protect me

·                    I don’t want to destroy a relationship that I love because of the anger I feel inside

·                    Come and help me – heal me

·                    And He did it!

Bartering

·                    Stage of grief where we ‘relive the experience’ and play the ‘if only I had – if only THEY had’ games in our heads

·                    Sister’s death

o       If only we had left later

o       If only we hadn’t driven THAT road

o       Etc.

NORMAL part of grief

·                    We need to PROCESS those things outloud

·                    ‘Bare one another’s burdens’

·                    When something hard has happened to you – it’s HELPFUL to find a brother or sister in the Lord and ‘Pour it out’ – PROCESS it.

·                    Story:  baby going Crazy at restaurant

·                    Bottle – rock – too cold – too hot – fever – etc.

·                    Got home – changed diaper – diaper pin scratching the leg of the baby – NO WONDER!

MANY times with grief

·                    We don’t quite know WHAT is wrong

·                    We just know something IS wrong

·                    And we’re not always sure HOW to process it

·                    All stages of grief important to pour out with one another

Stuck place in Bartering

·                    This is a tough kind of message to share for me

·                    Because still in healing process

·                    What can imbalance of bartering produce?

o       Can OVERCOMPENSATE in the rest of your life

o       You will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to protect yourself from facing that loss again.

Example:

·                    After sister’s death

·                    Siblings left

·                    Grief/pain/loneliness

·                    QUIET around the house

·                    Would look at the pictures

·                    Loved being with sibs – but they weren’t there

·                    Other two sisters got in a fight

·                    More loss/loneliness

·                    Came to a point where I would do ANYTHING  to keep/create the family peace

·                    So we could be together again

·                    EVEN if it meant being unhealthy

OR

·                    ‘Captain Safety’

·                    Where did that come from?

·                    Intensely important to remember this family day – or that one

·                    Where did that come from?

·                    Bartering gone a wry

Ever know people who can’t settle down – have to always be in panic – trying to make sure everything is ‘right’

·                    ‘Driven’ – not at peace?

·                    Some times that can be bartering imbalance.

Kingdom answer

·                    Cast all your CARES on Him – for HE cares for you

·                    Come to me all You who labor and are heavy laden

·                    YOU can’t do it for yourself

·                    He has borne grief – carried sorrows

·                    But you need to SURRENDER it to HIM.

Need to have OTHERS pray for you

·                    I’m carrying this thing alone

·                    I want to walk in health . . .

Sadness

In place of loss we feel the pain

·                    That’s part of the grief

·                    Normal – healthy

·                    In instant society don’t know how to always make place for healing.

·                    Part of healing is feeling the loss

Jesus wept.

·                    Compassionate heart of the Lord

·                    HE understands the pain – the loss.

Kingdom response

·                    Mourn with those who mourn

·                    Walk with One another

·                    Bear each others burdens

·                    Part of the walking through process

Stuck place in Sadness

·                    Being STUCK in sadness/depression

·                    There is a TIME to feel the pain

·                    But you need to BRING pain to cross

·                    Let it Go

Ever know the person who could ‘never get past’

·                    HELD ON to the place of grief

·                    There’s a reason we bury dead bodies – they smell

·                    And when there’s a disappointment in our lives – we need to take those things and SURRENDER them to the Lord at the cross

Does NOT mean we will not have any sad times

·                    We won’t relive some of the stages of grief.

·                    But when things get IMBALANCED

·                    It can become unhealthy and hurt us.

College Testimony

·                    Revelation

·                    Another layer with grieving/healing my sister

·                    Door opened – could see a whole CHAING of events

·                    Felt an intense SADNESS over what had happened

·                    Kneeling by bed

·                    In some ways – I felt a closeness with my sister who died a decade before

·                    That was a PRECIOUS thing – you can almost feel like you ‘forget’ – and a lot of the pain of my life was making sense.

·                    But Holy Spirit spoke to me in the middle of this thing – can’t quite explain it – but felt like God was challenging me to lay it down at the cross.

·                    That I could pick it up – coddle it

·                    Make an idol out of it.

·                    OR I could bring the pain to Him

·                    This is where it gets strange:  didn’t want to – felt closeness.

·                    But I chose to – as I did – POWERFUL healing came through me life.

·                    I wasn’t the same.

Pour out heart to HIM God is a refuge.

Acceptance

As you come through the other side of grief – there is an acceptance

·                    DOESN’T mean that it was ‘okay’

·                    Does mean that you can move forward

·                    Still will feel sadness

·                    And at different times in life – you may need to work through ANOTHER LAYER of grief.

·                    That really isn’t that unusual.

But on the other side of the grief – if you take your grief to JESUS and let him BEAR your grief and carry your sorrows – it RELEASES the resurrection power of Christ to work in your life.

It will change you.

Side note:  some of us have places of grief – doesn’t ‘tie up in a neat package’

·                    Autism/Chase

·                    We face different layers/places

·                    Suffering – something we don’t hear many sermons on – but something that the bible promises we will have.

·                    WHY we go through this – fallen world – don’t have all the answers this side of heaven.

·                    But there is a hope of glory.

We who walk in those places of daily suffering

·                    GOD wants to meet us in the different places of our grief.

·                    Those layers come through at different places

·                    BUT HE will meet us at EACH PLACE if we let Him.

·                    Rubber stamp/candy-coated answers – aren’t what will make us there.

·                    HE wants to carry us through – there IS a resurrection on the other side of this.

And the key of it all is to come to the cross

·                    Let HIM bear Your weakness/need/pain