How We Think of Each Other

Big Idea

Tension: What is Paul trying to convince Philemon to do and to think?

Resolution: To release Onesimus from his slavery and to see him through the gospel.

Exegetical Idea: Paul is trying to convince Philemon to release Onesimus from his slavery and to see him through the gospel.

Theological Idea: If we view one another through the lens of the gospel, it will change how we treat one another.

Homiletical Idea: If we see one another in relation to Christ, it will change how we relate to one another.

Outline

Introduction: How can we change how we treat one another?

Case Studies: Two friends have a conflict...

Philemon and Onesimus have a big conflict going back. Onesimus was a slave of Philemon’s, and Onesimus had wronged Onesimus by doing something foolish with his money and run away. And now Paul is trying to reconcile them to one another. How do you think Paul is going to do this? I would submit, Paul is going to try to do this by changing the way he thinks about Philemon.

Onesimus’ Restoration (vs. 8-14)

Paul’s relationship with Onesimus

Paul is an “old man and a prisoner for Christ Jesus” (8). When we see him here, he is imprisoned for the gospel. He has preached teh gospel of Christ that Jesus Christ came adn bore our sins on teh cross and rose again from the dead. It is the fundamental assertion that in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself.

Paul became Onesimus’ “father” in his imprisonment.

Here we have to fill in the gaps a bit: Onesimus, after losing some of Philemon’s money, ran away. And somehow - as Paul will show, it is by Providence - Onesimus finds his way to Rome, and meets Paul. And somehow, Paul leads Onesimus to Christ. (vs. 15)

Paul has great affection for Onesimus - he is his “very heart.” (vs. 12)

Paul sends Onesimus back (vs. 12). He is sending him back to Onesimus.

Paul’s command (vs. 8) - no more slavery (vs. 16)

Paul wants Philemon to “consent” and not be be by “by compulsion” but of his own accord (vs. 15). Ideally, Paul even would want Philemon to send him back to Paul in his imprisonment.

This would have been an incredibly generous thing to do, which is why it is called “your goodness.” (vs. 14)

Paul could have pretty easily justified keeping Onesimus with him

After all, Paul had the right as an apostle of Christ to demand. (vs. 8)

Paul also would have had biblical justification to keep Philemon for himself (Deuteronomy 23:15-16)

Paul elsewhere wrote that if slaves can, they should avail themselves of freedom (1 Cor 7:21)

The laws were murky at best. Almost certainly there would not have been much legal risk to Paul for keeping Philemon.

Why doesn’t Paul keep Onesimus? Why does Paul go to this point of sending Onesimus to Philemon and asking him to free him, but not actually asking him to free him.

One, you will notice that Paul actually says down in vs. 21, "confident of your obedience”. So there’s a sense here in which Paul doesn’t start a fight he knows he won’t win.

Paul think this is valuable for the whole church to hear (vs. 1). In fact, we know that Paul asked that his letters would be read and used as Scripture just like the Old Testament Scriptures (2 Cor 1:13; 1 Thess 5:27). So Paul think this would be a valuable conflict for later churches to know about and handle well.

Paul wants Philemon to set an example.

Paul loves Philemon (vs. 9). - Paul’s love for Philemon that drives him to plead for Onesimus.

If Paul would have commanded Philemon, there would have been no restoration. There could have been begrudging submission, maybe obligation. But it is because Paul loves Philemon that he wants him to have the joy of this restored relationship with him. Paul wants him to “have him back for eternity” (vs. 15). Why is this? Because the Onesimus that Philemon once knew is no more. He has been transformed.

Onesimus’ Tranformation

He is born again - notice here how Paul says he has become his father in imprisonment. We see this same language elsewhere when Paul describes the Corinthians or the Galatians as his true children. They are those whom he has led to Christ. He has shared the gospel with them and they have responded in repentance and faith. They have put the faith in the good news of Jesus.

How is one born again? One is born again when they trust that Jesus’ death was enough to deal with their sins, and that Jesus’ resurrection is enough to give them eternal life. In other words, someone is born again, they are transformed, they are regenerate when they put their faith in Jesus’ sin-bearing death and his life-giving resurrection. When they throw themselves wholeheartedly on him for salvation. This is what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:17

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Now he is in the flesh and in the Lord - Notice here what he says in vs. 16. That now he is “in the flesh and in teh Lord.” This wording “in teh Lord” is quite fascinating and refers to the union we have with Christ.

Formerly he was a slave, now he is more than a slave, a beloved brother. Notice here how Paul uses the same terminology he has used to describe Philemon to describe Onesimus.

Formerly he was useless, now he is useful - He is no longer someone who detracts, but because of the gospel, he is someone who has been chagned.

Paul wants Philemon to think of Onesimus as a fundamentally new person (2 Corinthians 5:15-21

2 Corinthians 5:15–21 ESV

and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Paul knows that if he has a shot at getting Philemon to set Onesimus free and sending him back, he actually has to win a much deeper battle. He has to get him to see Onesimus as totally transformed.

“It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit— immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”

- C.S. Lewis

Onesimus’ Value to Philemon

The stunning truth in vs. 15 is that Paul says Philemon was parted for him for a time so that he could have him back for eternity. You’ll notice here that Paul talks about Onesimus in the passive. Now, of course Onesimus is responsible for whatever he did to Philemon, and he was responsible for his running away. But what we see here by this simple passive verb is that God was at work. It was God’s providence. God was working to accomplish his purpose of reconciliation through Onesimus’ conflict. Often in relational conflict, God is working behind the scenes to accomplish his purposes. to highlight areas that need repentance, to reveal unbelief, to compel people to come to him.

If Philemon releases Onesimus, then Philemon can serve Paul through Onesimus. Philemon still would have been considered his patron in the ancient culture. Which is to say, that there still would have kinship bonds and obligations. And Paul says, “utilize this bond” utilize your patronage by sending him to come serve me.

In other words, Paul is saying, “send Onesimus on your behalf” in two different places. He actually says let him serve on your behalf.

How is that of advantage? How is that good? What is the value of that? That is the logic of the gospel. Loss is gain. To die is to live. To give up is to receive. Philemon would have gotten that. Paul would have gotten that. Onesimus would have gotten that. To lose everything here is worth it if you receive Christ. To lose a slave, to lose a client, to lose is to receive. To lose the world is to gain Christ.

Application

Have you lost the world to gain Christ? Have you gotten the logic of the kingdom?

If you’ve gained Christ, if you’ve lost everything, you will be transformed.

If you’ve been transformed by the gospel, you have to start seeing others as Christ does.

If you view others as Christ does, it will change how you treat them.

Never stop hoping and praying that God’s purpose in conflict would come about - namely his perfect restoration.

Conclusion: