REAL FRIENDS - REAL FRIENDS SERVE EACH OTHER

Real Friends - Week 1 - Real Friends Serve each other

How many people want to have loyal friends and want to learn about how to be a good friend?

Over the next 2 weeks, we are going to be talking about what it means to be a good friend, and to identify whether or not the friends we have will benefit us or break us.

The thing about friendships is that they always change. The friends I have today are not the same ones that I had in middle school, and they are not the same ones I had in high school. But all because friendships change, doesn’t mean that you should change the meaning of what a friend is.

And we need to define some characteristics of what a good friend is, if we really want to make sure we are the right friends, and we have the right friends.

How would you define what it means to be a good friend?

Based on your definition, would you say that you have good friends? Why or why not?

Based on your definition, would you say that you are a good friend? Be honest! Why or why not?

So, would anyone be willing to share some of your thoughts?

I think those are some great answers! Now, I’m a guy who likes the Bible, I think it is perfect, it is God’s Word that Inspired people to write down. And I believe it contains some great stuff when it comes to defining friendships.

Now we’re going to read from a passage in the New Testament. The second part of the Bible. We’re going to be reading from Philippians. Paul was the author of this letter, he wrote this when he was in prison to a church in Philippi around 60 AD.(Show map where Philippi is).

Paul wrote Philippians to help the church become unified and also to tell them that there are people teaching things about Jesus with bad motives. He also explains what the Christian life should look like.

So we are going to look at that part. We are going to Philippians 2:3-4

Philippians 2:3-4 CSB

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

So let’s breakdown this passage to see what God is saying to us through Paul. There are three commands in these two verses, and we are going to look at each one and ask ourselves a question.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit

Are you in a friendship with someone because you’re trying to get something out of it?

If you can only describe your friends based on what they have and not by who they are, there’s a problem in your friendship.

Either they don’t trust you enough to let you in on their personal life, or you haven’t put in the effort to get to know them better.

So when it comes to our friendships We need to be other-centered, not self-centered

Be ok with decisions your friends make that you might not like to do, but out of being a servant for your friend, you agree. Now obviously I’m not saying to do anything that would go against what we believe is wrong as christians. But if you want to go for ice cream and they want to go for coffee, then go for coffee.

When you make decisions with your friends, don’t let the driving force of your decision be what is convenient for you. Be willing to go the extra length to serve your friends.

Be other-centered, not self-centered. And we can talk about this more in the next command.

In humility, consider others more important than yourselves

Are you making comparisons with your friends based on what you have or don’t have?

If we want to make the best out of the friendships we have, we have to learn to be humble.

Now to be humble, and to consider other people more important than yourselves, does not mean that your personal life and values should be overlooked

It means that you place a value on other people and see them as they are made in God’s image just like you.

You cannot consider yourself to be better because you have something someone else doesn’t.

You cannot consider yourself better because you are smarter than someone else.

You should not be comparing yourself to your friends because the outcome of that will be insecurity or pride which are both things that God does not want for you.

We need to be able to place a higher value on our friends and we need to do that by the next command.

Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

Are you more interested in being heard, or being a listener?

So how can we do a better job of being friends that serve?

We ask more questions than we speak.

So here’s the thing, some of you all might admit to being socially awkward and so you might be here and you’re sitting on one of the walls by yourself. And I see you, and others see you, and if no one has approached you and gotten to know you, I’m very sorry about that. But I also want to encourage you to be someone who desires to know people.

I want to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and isolation, and get to know someone you haven’t met before.

So I want to present a few questions to you that will help you in your next conversation whether it’s someone you are just meeting, or someone you are friends with that you want to know a bit better.

What are your goals?

Are you learning anything new?

What book, TV, or movie character is most like you?

What is something that you are passionate about?

What is something that you see in the world that you wish you could change?

Other questions

How do you feel the most misunderstood?

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

What are some things that have shaped your personality and who you are?

Who’s your hero?

What makes you proud?

These questions will help you to be better at listening to people, rather than being heard. This is the start of what it means to be humble and to be a friend who serves.

When you find out the answers to these questions, you also need to be asking yourself, how can you be praying for your friend.

Let’s not just settle for being a friend, let’s be friends that serve and friends that care.

Jesus did this for us.

John 15:12-14 CSB

12 “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.

Jesus himself was a humble friend to us. We are dead because of our sin. We do what we want to do and it kills us and keeps us from God, but Jesus died for us so that we can be made alive and have a relationship with Him and live for Him. We are friends with a God who is relational, who is loving, and who knows everything about us and makes Himself known to us.

We need to be friends with others in the same way by his example. Let’s get to know others, and let’s make ourselves known to others.