Despair into Joy

Destined to Despair

My third favorite video game of all time is the Destiny franchise - technically there are two games but the line between the two is really blurry. Even though it’s my third favorite game, it’s my most played with 47 days, 7 hours, and 34 minutes logged in the past 5 years.

Now in this game, I play with my younger brother a lot. In game, he plays as a character type called a Titan. The strategy to being a Titan is a simple one. Run at the enemy and hit them - sometimes with a fist, sometimes with a hammer, but always without using IQ points. I, on the other hand, play as a character type called a Warlock. Warlocks don’t have a ton of health or defense, they aren’t terribly fast, but they do devastating damage to anything they hit. So when Ian and I play together, the fundamental strategy is Ian runs in, hits as many things as he can, and dies. Meanwhile, I stay at a respectable range and level anything left standing when he is done. This works great, for the most part, but sometimes I start feeling a little cocky. I go on a kill streak or something and I start to play like I’m Ian. I see a room full on enemies and I jump right into the middle of all of them.

Remember when I said that warlocks don’t have great health, defense, or speed?

In those situations, my map flashes red, my screen fills with enemies, and my health bar drops - fast. I try and clear a path, try to get above the fray, doing anything I can to survive, but in my head all I feel is despair. I messed up, bad, and now I’m going to pay for it. I put myself into a situation that I am totally incapable of getting myself out of. 9 times out of ten in those situations, I die and Ian makes fun of me.

The Way Is Shut

Now you might think that’s kinda silly or dramatic that I would feel despair over a video game, and maybe you’re right, but you’d despair too after putting 1,135 hours into something.

All kidding aside, despair is a pretty natural response when we put ourselves in bad situations that we can’t get ourselves out of. We feel despair when our favorite team is down by 14 and there’s only a minute left in the game. We feel despair when we wake up and the alarm did not go off when it was supposed to - and no amount of reckless driving will get you to your appointment on time. We feel despair when the bill was due yesterday and the account just doesn’t have enough money in it - and you can’t do anything to escape the late fee that’s coming. We feel despair when the doctor gives us the diagnosis and no treatment plan - there’s nothing you can do to reverse the damage. We all, at one time or another, have reached a point of despair in our lives, a point where something bad is happening and there’s nothing we can do about it.

The worst of it comes when we think too long about our place before God. We hear about His expectations for us, we hear how He expects us to never be angry with the people around us, He expects us to be entirely faithful, He expects us to be so honest that no one every questions our word, He expects us to turn the other cheek, He expects us to love our enemies, He expects us to give to the needy, He expects us to not be anxious . . . He expects us to “be perfect, as [our] heavenly Father is perfect.” (Mat. 5:48) And we can’t. We find ourselves all falling short of God’s expectations for us and maybe we don’t think about it because it forces us to a place of despair. It forces us to the same place as Josiah where we realize that the Lord is rightfully angry at us and His anger, His wrath means that we will be condemned to an eternity in hell.

Each and every one of us has fallen short of perfect, and the penalty for anything less than perfection is death and hell. There is no “pretty good.” There is no “close enough.” You are either perfect or you are condemned. Even if you were a saint in every way but you stole a cookie when you were four, you are condemned to death and hell. Despair sets in because we are in a really bad place and there is nothing we can do about it.

A Gracious God

Hear the words that were proclaimed to Josiah

2 Kings 22:19–20 (ESV)

because your heart was penitent, and you humbled yourself before the Lord, when you heard how I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants, that they should become a desolation and a curse, and you have torn your clothes and wept before me, I also have heard you, declares the Lord.

Therefore, behold, I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace, and your eyes shall not see all the disaster that I will bring upon this place.’ ” And they brought back word to the king.

Hear the words that were proclaimed to you

Having heard your confession, as a called and ordained servant of Christ, by His command and by His authority, I forgive you all of your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

We were condemned and there is nothing we could do about it. So we go to God with a repentant heart, we go to God with regret for all the bad things we’ve done, we go to God with regret for all the good things we failed to do, we go to God for forgiveness - and He hears us. He knew that we could not fix things ourselves, so He sent Jesus to go to the cross and pay the price of death and hell for us.

A Penitent Heart

So, you deserve death and hell. But instead God forgives you and gives you grace. He hears us when we ask for forgiveness, He sees our repentant hearts and He says “you are forgiven.”

So don’t live in your mistakes. Don’t cling to your regrets. Don’t despair of your eternal future.

When you don’t live perfectly this afternoon, or tomorrow, or later in the week - simply apologize, be repentant, seek forgiveness. Because God promises to forgive you again and again and again. Can you say this with me?

I have fallen short. I am repentant. I am forgiven.

A Repentant Community

And when we live that way, it changes our world and the world changes for those around us. When we ask for forgiveness instead of clinging to our sins or defending our mistakes - we give a witness to what Christ has done for us.

I still remember this story from my Dad. He was in his office one day and a member of the congregation came in, ready to rip his head off. He was mad at Dad for something he had done, or something he had forgotten to do. And my Dad didn’t defend himself, he didn’t argue the point, he simply said, “you’re right, I’m sorry.” And that person deflated, that was the last thing they were expecting. He forgave Dad for whatever it was, and they had a fruitful conversation about the issue afterwards.

Live with a repentant heart and attitude, and never forget the unbelievable forgiveness you’ve been given in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.