Piety

An Introduction

The direction of one’s whole life to God.

1. Piety as an experience of grace.

a. Piety is one of those words that makes the non-believer cringe and the believer cower. (At least, that’s how I felt.) Often the word, “piety,” or “pious,” isn’t used in the most positive contexts in today’s world. Can’t you just hear the words in some dramatic movie line such as, “You’re such a pious, pompous, pretentious, prideful, pig!?!” OR, the other extreme we may hear such a term may sound something like, “You’re such a pious person you must live on your knees.” If we hear this word at all, it’s almost always in an extreme sense of the word without a true understanding of what piety is.

b. One reason this may be difficult for the believer is that the word, “piety,” isn’t a word we find in the Bible. However, the concept is found throughout its pages. There are many examples of those who experienced a life-changing encounter with the Savior, an encounter where they experienced grace for the first time, and that experience of grace redirected their entire life. My favorite example is Saul. You remember Saul, the zealous Jew, who hunted down Christians to prosecute, convict, and oversee their death sentences. But, as he traveled to Damascus on one of those assignments he encountered Jesus and experienced grace for the first time. His life immediately changed from being Saul, the hateful Christian-hunter, to being Paul, a fervent follower of Christ.

2. Piety as a process of growth.

a. Paul’s life dramatically changed in an instant, but for most Christians a life of piety is a process of growth. Paul’s quick transition may have been accelerated by the fact that he’d been reared in a God-fearing home and was taught the scriptures from a young age. He knew the prophetic passages about the Messiah, but it wasn’t until he encountered the Messiah that all of that teaching made sense.

b. That is similar to my own experience. I was reared in a Christian home and went to every church service every time the door was opened. My father was a pastor and my parents lived out their faith daily. They could drop truth bombs and quote scripture so fast it would make your head spin. They fully lived out the wisdom of II Timothy 2:15 in “…correctly (handling) the word of truth,” in order to discipline me and my siblings and train us in the faith. Soon I too knew how to wield that Bible and quote that Scripture (or at least give some paraphrase of a passage that fit the immediate need), but the loving relationship with God, his Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit were all missing. Paul tells us in I Corinthians 8:1 that, “…knowledge puffs up while love builds up” (NIV). All of that Bible training was great fertilizer for me though and when that seed of faith germinated, my walk with Christ grew. To grow your spiritual walk you must grow in piety, study, and action.

c. This stool represents your life in Christ. When supported by three legs it’s a sturdy seat to support you when you sit and it’s a steady platform upon which to stand when you’re reaching for something higher up. If you want to reach the highest ideal of all, life with Christ, you need the steady, sturdy stool of the spiritual life in Christ. The first leg of this spiritual walk is piety. (Attach the leg.) The other two legs are study and action which we’ll learn more about later. To grow our relationship with Christ we must grow in piety, study, and action. We need a good understanding of what piety is in order to keep a balanced life in Christ.

3. False ideas of piety. (Philippians 2:3-4)

There are many false ideas of piety and let’s examine some examples of these false ideas.

Holy Hazel - That person who is prideful and egotistical in their religion. Notice I didn’t say “faith” or “Christian walk” because this is the person wrapped up in the religious, exterior concept, that the evil one easily lets us slide into; rather than a faith-filled daily walk, a constant relationship, with the Father. Holy Hazel is devoted to the church building, traditions, rote prayers, and all of the external appearances of being a Christian rather than having a real dedication to God.

Mechanical Millie - She’s that person who just follows the crowd and the routine. Whatever the pastor or teacher says she’ll agree with because she doesn’t actually know God’s word for herself and doesn’t really have a relationship with Christ. Her relationship is with people in the church rather than with Christ.

Hypocritical Henrietta - She is that person whose religion is a false front in an effort to achieve personal acceptance or advancement.

I can identify with each one of these examples. At times I’ve been Holy Crystal, Mechanical Crystal, and Hypocritical Crystal. Remember, I was always at the church. I knew how to find that Bible verse faster than anyone else at the table. I could sing all the old hymns and new praise and worship songs too. I was always a handy choice to pray when asked (as all preacher’s kids are asked on a routine basis to pray). All of this works when you want to fit in and appear to be a Christian. It’s great if you want to be included with the Christian crowd. And, it even smooths the way to being accepted as a believer and maybe asked to lead in various areas of the church. None of those skills and abilities are bad, but without relationship with Christ, a true desire to live my life in pursuit of Him, all of this false piety left me with an anemic leg of the stool that didn’t hold up when life’s trials hit.

What is piety?

A Definition

As I mentioned earlier, I struggled with what the true definition of piety is. I knew the library definition as a, “reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations,” but the end of that textbook definition leaves a bad taste in mouth. I’m not obligated to a religious organization (and that alone is what leads to false piety), but having a reverence for our Heavenly Father falls short as a good definition as well. (Many people revere God, but don’t have a relationship with him.)

I decided to take an unqualified poll of my friends and family to ask them what piety meant. What I got was a thesaurus of adjectives such as: a humble person, someone who loves God, a person who’s righteous, kind, holy, devout, etc. So, we need a clear definition.

We’ll define it as, “The direction of one’s whole life to God.” Let me repeat that, “The direction of one’s whole life to God.” It’s a new perspective on why we live our lives the way we do. We commit to live our lives in a way that considers his perspective of our life choices first.

The Pattern of the Christian Life

In order to know what direction God wants us to take takes a lot of prayer, but it is much more than prayer. We must seek God’s will through prayer and thorough study of his word. We must be open to the Holy Spirit to work and move in our life and allow him to mold us into the image of Christ. We allow him to do this by engaging fully into worship, Communion, Christian community, Bible study, prayer, and diligently seeking the gifts, skills, and talents he’s given and equipped us with to minister and serve others.

As I said, I was blessed to be reared in a Christian home and benefitted from amazing Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, and Christian mentors. I made an early profession of faith, because I did believe in God, but it was many years later before I truly came to an understanding of God as my father and the personal relationship I needed to develop with Him. I needed to recognize that He is the one I could trust regardless of what was happening in life.

After high school I went to Bible college thinking I would like to teach music in a school or church setting and while there I met this incredibly handsome, charismatic, young man (who happened to be my boyfriend’s roommate). Yes, you heard that right. When my boyfriend introduced me to his roommate, I immediately knew I was in the car with the wrong guy. I broke up with the boyfriend and over the next few months I began charming my way into Gary’s circle of friends so that I was always “coincidentally” running into him on campus. I’d sit with them in the cafeteria or wander into the library (but, of course, only during the hours when he was working in there). As we became friends I listened to him tell me of his plans for life and ministry and I just knew this was the man I was supposed to marry as we were on the same path of following God’s call. As I reflect back on that season of life I now can see how much we talked about our plans instead of God’s plans. (You’ve heard the expression, “Man plans, God laughs?” That loose translation of Proverbs 16:9 which says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”) It definitely applied to us. So, Gary and I married and he was “called” into his first ministry just two weeks after our wedding. He was the youth pastor and I was helping with the music ministry and all our plans seemed to be on track. Many moves and ministries later and at every phase I was the faithful pastor’s wife doing all the right things. But, “Holy Crystal,” had little consideration for what God would have me to do. Then my family encountered a series of crises that led me to rethink all of my motives and actions. First, Gary had a bad car accident with injuries that still bother him to this day. Then my mother had breast cancer and died. A few months after that I had a significant back injury that eventually led to two surgeries. One year after my mother’s death my mother-in-law died after being hospitalized and given an overdose of a medication she was allergic to. Finally, just a couple of days after my mother-in-law’s passing, my Dad called and said he too had cancer and only had six months to live at best. I hung up the phone and marched out into the field behind my house and began screaming at God. It was the first time I’d ever had an honest conversation with God that wasn’t a rote prayer. I was so angry with him. Aren’t I a good person? Haven’t I done everything for you, God? How could you let this happen to me? When I got through with my temper tantrum, that’s when I realized I was on my knees and His presence was all around me. Psalm 34:18 became very personal for me in that moment. It says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Those words resonated deeply with me as His peace settled over me. He could have shouted at me, “You didn’t do anything for me. You made every decision all on your own.” He could have reminded me that I was a sinner continually falling short of his glorious standard as Romans 3:23 says and further reminded me that we were all getting what we deserved. “The wages of sin is death…,” as Paul points out in the beginning of Romans 6:23. But, that wasn’t what I heard. Instead the truth of Psalm 73:21-26, became very real to me. “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant (I was foolish); I was a brute beast before you....Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Those words sounded very familiar, “Whom have I in heaven but you?” It almost sounded like Peter who said in John 6:68, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” There I was, in the field, with the sudden realization that God is real and there is no one else I can turn to in this mountain of pain. That’s why I was in the field crying out to him in the first place! Once the peace settled over me, I realized I had been missing out on the relationship with him all of this time. My actions and decisions were based on what I thought was the right thing to do without consulting Him to lead me in those decisions. I knew I needed to dig deeper into his word and pray more with an open heart to learn more about my loving Father who wrapped me in this peace I needed to face the days and months ahead. What I didn’t realize was that an even bigger crisis was on the horizon and this “small” lesson I had just I had just learned was preparing me for something much more difficult than losing my loved ones to cancer or struggling through a back injury.

My precious Daddy died just 15 months after losing my Mom. I had put off my second back surgery because I wanted to make sure I was at Daddy’s side when he passed. Once he was buried I scheduled my back surgery and was praying this would be the miracle I needed to get back to some form of normal life. (By the way, it was the miracle I needed, but that’s a testimony for another day.) As I entered the hospital to get prepped for the surgery the nurse brought in routine paperwork for me to sign. You know, those papers that are a release that you understand all the risks associated with the surgery including the possibility of death. As I signed the papers my normally calm husband became agitated and jumped from his seat telling me not to sign the forms and that we needed to leave immediately. He couldn’t say why and I felt at peace about the decision we had already made earlier to have the surgery. So, off to surgery I went, but when I came out of recovery, I didn’t recognize the person my husband had suddenly become. He wasn’t the same Gary I had been married to just a few hours earlier. He was scared, paranoid, worried, and started confessing sins and insisting he was a criminal and that our home was burning down. I was sure that once I recovered this strange behavior would pass, but it didn’t. By the end of the week he was suicidal and severely depressed. He begged me to take him to jail. Instead, I took him to the emergency room. Initially he was diagnosed a clinically depressed, but after several months the psychiatrists changed his diagnosis to Bipolar Disorder. I questioned the doctors closely… Isn’t he a little old to begin showing manic-depressive symptoms? Why isn’t the medication helping him? For three years we struggled through doctor’s visits and medication changes until one day he told me he knew I was out to kill him. He was suicidal, I wasn’t who I said I was, and the situation was quite frightening. So, I convinced him to get in the car (the back seat…with the child-safety lock on) and we drove to Dallas where I felt we could get better answers. By the end of the week, we had a proper diagnosis. He had Schizoaffective Disorder and Delusional Disorder. At the time, it was a new diagnosis and there wasn’t much information available about the illness. What little information there was insinuated that the patient could be violent and dangerous. I was advised that it was unlikely he would ever work again and that our marriage was at risk. I should go back to work and prepare for life as a single parent. I went home and talked with my closest mentors and family, all godly people, who quietly would pull me aside to recommend that I divorce Gary to ensure my safety and the safety of the children. The year that followed was one of the most difficult years of my life. Gary was in and out of the hospital five times that year (with his diagnosis confirmed by 11 difference psychiatrists). We had many scary moments when he was completely irrational and I spent many nights on the floor asking God what to do. It was that experience in the field with God that had taught me there was only one person who had the answer and I was staying in conversation with him until I received that answer. I needed the wisdom and strength only He could give me. It was interesting as I was doing my Bible study through this season that I would come across passages like Psalm 116:14, “I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people,” and Psalm 61:8, “Then I will ever sing in praise of your name and fulfill my vows day after day.” I became convicted by my own words, a promise to God first and to Gary second that I would love this man “...in sickness and in health...” and there was no clause that said, “…unless it’s a mental health issue!” Please note, Gary had never been a violent man, even when he was completely irrational, he has never been violent or abusive. God may have led me to make a different decision if that had been the case. But, that was not how God created Gary and so God filled me once again with His peace so that I could choose to fulfill my vows to Him and to Gary. I didn’t have to fear what “might” happen when God’s words were inspiring me to stay true to him. So, contrary to the advice of the doctors, my friends, and a few of my fearful family members, I chose the road of piety and what I felt sure was God’s leading.

I wish I could stand here and tell you that my husband has been completely healed of this cruel illness, but he hasn’t. However, since the end of that first turbulent year Gary has been stable. He was stable enough to work for many years and he serves as a volunteer where I work and is even known to carry a table or two around Tres Dias. We have our challenges, but doesn’t every marriage have challenges? God has blessed our marriage immensely. We have now been married for 41 years. Those who know my hubby will tell you he is the sweetest man with the best laugh and he supports me and most of my crazy ideas. Every time I say, “I think God is calling me to...” ...go to Nepal, Guatemala, Haiti, or wherever else he leads me, Gary says, “Well you should go!” Please don’t miss this…if it hadn’t been for the relationship I have with my Father in heaven, I would have most certainly lost my relationship with my precious husband. And, I shudder to think how that may have impacted my children if I had been left to make my decisions following the crowd as “Mechanical Crystal.” Growing in piety has resulted in having a stronger relationship with the Father and, as an added blessing, I have a stronger marriage with Gary.

The Characteristics of Piety

Some attributes or characteristics of piety are visible while others are not.

A pious person will always look like Jesus. No, we don’t know what Jesus looked like, but we certainly recognize his character. Jesus set the example for us in how to conduct our lives and exhibited the fruit of the spirit throughout his life and ministry. When we live like Jesus, we too will exhibit the fruit of the spirit as defined in Galatians 5:22-23: "…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

Secondly, a pious person is a grateful person who recognizes what God is doing regardless of the circumstances. This is the person who praises God in the most difficult of struggles even when they don’t know how that struggle may be resolved. Thanksgiving is at the heart of our worship and is at the top of our prayer list!

The person who lives a life of piety also has a unique freedom found only in Christ. Many years ago I travelled to China where it is illegal to evangelize or openly share the gospel. I shared Bible verses daily with my English class even while knowing I could be arrested at any point. If I had been arrested, I may have been the one in chains, but I have a freedom in Christ that the people there (even those who would jail me) are so hungry to experience. As Jesus said in John 8:34 and 36, “…everyone who sins is a slave to sin....So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” And remember, some of the people in the audience listening to those words of Jesus were slaves!

The last key characteristic of the person living a life of piety is maturity. I don’t mean the maturity that comes with age (or white hair), but Christian, spiritual maturity. This is the person who is constantly growing in their faith with godly wisdom. They don’t use the Bible like someone ready to pounce on the unsuspecting sinner. Instead, they can be seen gently instructing others in the word with love, encouragement, compassion, and by example.

How Piety is Strengthened

So, how can we grow in piety? Piety is strengthened through Bible study, prayer, worship, fellowship, and Communion. Piety is a process. You don’t just wake up one day with a stamp on your forehead that says, “Pious Penelope.” As believers we have to wrestle with the Father to grow our faith like Jacob wrestled with God for a blessing.

Remember Jacob? Jacob the deceiver, the trickster, who had cheated his older brother out of his birthright? Jacob who had earned his wealth through marriage and making a deal with his father-in-law that suddenly profited him more? Jacob had his share of struggles, but let’s be honest, he brought many of those struggles on himself. When he stole his brother, Esau’s, birthright Jacob fled for his life. Many years later, at God’s direction, Jacob was moving his large family (including servants and livestock) back to his homeland. His travels led him straight into the path of Esau. In Genesis 32 scripture records Jacob’s strategy of sending a message to Esau - addressing Esau as, “Master,” - asking for Esau’s favor and signing off as, “Your servant, Jacob.” He soon hears back that Esau, along with 400 of his men, are moving toward Jacob and his family. Jacob was scared! He makes a plan, dividing his family up into two groups, preparing for the possibility of losing half of his family and making a plan of escape for the other half if they’re attacked. After all of Jacob’s planning and strategy he finally turns to prayer. In that prayer he admits his helplessness and his fear and begs God to save him and his family. At the end of that prayer he reminds God of his promise to make Jacob’s family, “…prosper,” and his, “…descendants like the sand of the sea....” (Or, I wonder if the Spirit of God reminded Jacob of that promise as he was praying?) Either way, after this prayer Jacob seems to suddenly have another idea. Jacob selects some of his best livestock as gifts for Esau and sends them with the servants and instructions to tell Esau these are gifts from his servant, Jacob, and that Jacob is coming later. Behind this long parade of goats, sheep, camels, cows, and donkeys he sends the first group of his family, and then the second group. But, he remains behind at the camp. This is when one of the most unique encounters between God and man ever occurs. Jacob is suddenly wrestling with a man. He wrestles with him all night and the man touches Jacob’s hip resulting in a handicapped limp that as far as we know never goes away. Even after having his hip dislocated, Jacob doesn’t let go of the man. When the man tells Jacob to let him go, Jacob has the audacity to reply, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The blessing the man gives him is to change his name from, “Jacob,” (or deceiver), to, “Israel,” which means, “he struggles with God.” The man tells him he’s giving him this man because he struggled with men and God and overcame. It seems like this is when Jacob truly realizes he has been face-to-face with God and has somehow survived the experience. (Much like my own realization that I was screaming at God in the field at God like Bruce Almighty, “Smite me oh mighty smiter!” and I was still alive!!!) God does protect Jacob and his family. Esau accepts Jacob’s (now Israel’s) gift and he becomes the father of the Israelite nation. Don’t miss this…he first wrestled with God on his knees in prayer and then wrestled with God physically, growing his faith in the process. He became the pious father of a nation who is recognized throughout the old and new testaments because of this experience. He walked with a limp the rest of his life, but he was blessed as well. What may appear to others as a handicap may be God’s blessing on your life. When I asked Gary’s permission to share our “handicap” in this Rollo (which he did approve) we both were recounting all the ways God has blessed our family as a result of being forced to move to Dallas to find the healthcare he needed. What others may see as Gary’s (or our) handicap has helped me grow in piety and blessed our entire family. When we allow God to mold us into a vessel he can use for his glory, we don’t necessarily get to choose the shape of the vessel he’s making. We have to trust that he’ll use us as he sees fit. It’s in the process of realizing this truth that our piety grows. It’s the process that prepares us for piety.

In Conclusion

Piety is an ideal…. This ideal is the only response to God’s gift of grace in a complete giving of ourselves to Him to be molded, shaped, and used as he sees fit. Piety is the direction of one’s whole life to God.

Piety is...

...the lived ideal of a life of grace with Christ.

…the daily response to God’s grace in our lives.

…strengthened by the believer’s participation in the Body of Christ.

…formed and nurtured by the Holy Spirit, which is God’s presence with us.

As Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (ESV). De Colores!