Praying the Right Way

Introduction

Prayer is something that is so easy to try yet we sometimes struggle a lot to feel like our prayers are effective. We wonder why one prayer is answered one way and other times, we feel like the prayer goes unanswered. These words of the book of James speaks to being in friendship with the world and being divided between the world and God. Prayers in this context also can struggle between being worldly prayers and Godly prayers. Have you considered how you pray may also reflect an inner turmoil within that you struggle between praying for what you want along the lines of what the world may offer versus what God may want you to pray? James does not mince words but goes straight to the point that even in our dialogue with God, if we are divided between the world and God, we will struggle to even pray.

New Testament XI: James, 1–2 Peter, 1–3 John, Jude The Opposite Obtained from Wrong Desires

THE OPPOSITE OBTAINED FROM WRONG DESIRES. OECUMENIUS: James proceeds here by way of thesis and antithesis. The thesis, that is, what they desire, is absurd to begin with, but the way they go about getting what they want ensures the exact opposite. Murder and fighting are not good things, but neither do the good things which they desire follow from them. Note also that here James speaks of murder and of fighting as spiritual things, not physical ones. It would be bad enough to think this kind of thing about robbers, but how much worse it is when we are dealing with people who have a certain amount of faith and who have turned to God. These are people who are trying to kill the soul and to fight against godliness. COMMENTARY ON JAMES.

First step - Where are you coming from when beginning to pray

So where do we start? It begins with some self-reflection. Yes I know this sounds a little heady but stay with me. Examine your last prayer. Think back on your last prayer.

When I was on vacation this past week, all I could pray for was to get better so I could be with my family on vacation. I strongly dislike being sick so I prayed and prayed for God to heal me so I would not be sick anymore. In the quiet time having to sit out of the activities, it came to me that I too need to re-evaluate how I pray.

Am I praying because I don’t want to feel sick? Of course! Am I focused on how the sickness affects me and my vacation? Of course! I changed my prayers that while praying for healing to understand if my prayers were being selfish in what I was asking for or how I was asking. I did not understand why I was sick or why I was not getting better. I was missing out on this fun time with the family and even a surprise that my best friend and his family were there as well. Yet I was missing out on it all. Why was it that God had not immediately heard my prayer and made me better?

I had to do some self-reflection to understand how I got where I was.

Second Step - Learning from self-reflection

I spent some time looking back and the past few weeks and there were many worldly things trying to creep into my life. At work, it has been turned upside down and so many people have been seeking my advice or I have been trying to figure out how I could control some of the situation better. I had built up my ego too much in thinking I could fix things or I could turn the direction of the company if I stepped up more. Sadly, no, while it is good to help people, I am not the savior of the world. This is Jesus Christ’ role.

I had allowed my ego and pride to build up where I somehow was trying to put myself above others or that somehow I was better qualified. This was not who I am nor is it who God wants me to be. The very things you find yourself complaining about in others are often the things that are beneath the surface in you. Why was I so bothered by some people and their egos was because I was allowing mine to build up. I was doing things that were for my glory, to build up myself. I was listening to others who were building me up because they knew me and feared what others may do. In the end, I can’t control things and it is not my will that should be done.

Why was I listening and talking to others and trying to position myself better? This was to stroke the ego as if I could do better or would do things differently. All of this was not healthy. Why? Because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Humble yourself before praying. God does not owe you anything and neither is God under any obligation to answer your prayer because you said in Jesus’ name at the end of your prayer. Gifts are gifts. Blessings are blessings. Grace is undeserved gifts and blessings of God we do not deserve.

When we get pride and ego into our prayers, of course God will oppose them. Why should God who opposes the proud answer us? When we wish ill upon our enemy or we ask for people’s demise or harm, or when we pray our own will be done, how is that in line with God’s will?

I prayed the palms down and palms up method where with my palms down I prayed to let go of selfishness, pride, ego, control, and all these other things growing inside me that were not what God has made me to be but in fact wants to save me from these things that destroy us.

I prayed with my palms up asking again to return to a humble state leaving everything in God’s hands and for God’s glory.

Third Step - Realigning to God’s will in your prayer

First to realign yourself with God’s will, learn from your self-reflection what you need to work on. Learn about who or what you are in conflict with or who you struggle against. Second, ask for God’s help to let go.

By letting go of the things causing conflict or cravings or war within you or amongst others, you move closer to back to God’s will. Sin has no place in God’s will therefore even in our prayers we must first cleanse ourselves from all unrighteousness. God is merciful to forgive. When you repent and confess your sin after reflection, God’s grace moves you back to where you are supposed to be.

When you let go of the things of this world that ensnare you, when you turn away from the world and the devil’s temptations, then your eyes can focus on God.

Psalm 51 is a good prayer psalm if you feel your prayers are hindered or you sense something isn’t right. If you find yourself without peace, then go to God in prayer and recite it to God. A the Psalm 51:17 says,

Psalm 51:17 NRSV

17 The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

When we humble ourselves before God, God’s grace pours over us once more. The more we resist though the more conflict and strife we find in life.

Plumb line or Litmus test

Often times, we can still feel uncertain about whether we are in line with God’s will in our prayers. Look at the way James phrases it in today’s passage

James 4:2–3 NRSV

2 You want something and do not have it; so you commit murder. And you covet something and cannot obtain it; so you engage in disputes and conflicts. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures.

If your end goal is something for your own gain or your own selfish desires, then the prayer will go unanswered. Or if you simply don’t ask, why is God obligated to do it anyway when you refuse to ask? So there is this middle path we try to find where we do come to God with our prayers, yet we temper it with looking for God’s will, God’s glory in the answered prayer. Balance this to make sure when you pray, you are not seeking your glory and your gain by this prayer.

Timeout Bench

On a side note, there is such a thing as a timeout bench. What I mean by this reference is that when we ignore God or don’t want to listen to what God is saying, there are means of setting you aside to make you listen. Don’t fuss or complain when it happens because while we can all be stubborn, God will persist until we listen because he knows what is best for us. Listening to God is what is best regardless of the way the message may sting or what it may ask us to turn away from. You can avoid the timeout bench by always slowing down each day to listen carefully to what God may be wanting to say. Illness for me is often a timeout bench. I don’t get sick often but when I do, I have no choice but to sit still and listen. Learn to be effective in your prayers by listening to God before and during your prayer. Be open to adjust your prayers. Trust God in these corrections as they will draw you closer to God.