Quit Faulty Thinking

Intro: Think about beliefs and even processes that people embraced and practiced over the past several years.

Six hundred years ago people believed the earth was flat; and were afraid of sailing far out into the ocean for fear they would fall off the earth.

For two thousand years “blood - letting” was used to treat almost every disease—from cancer to digestion to pneumonia.

Even social beliefs were embraced and acted on such as much of US’s history Native Americans and African Americans were considered inferior, second-class citizens.

Less than one hundred years ago women were denied the right to vote.

As recently as 1900 a large percentage of the populations believed “humans will never fly.”

Even in 1960 there were those who believed a person would never walk on the moon.

These assumptions/thoughts were wrong.

Faulty thinking at the very least limits our ability to experience life and move forward into the future as God intends; and at the very worst it destroys lives and civilizations.

Faulty thinking is when we believe something to be true that is false.

It is a deadly threat to both emotional and spiritual health.

What do you think are some things faulty thinking can do in an individual?

Trap you into “powerlessness”

Paralyze you in hopelessness

Cause false guilt

Obscure hope for the future

Cut off from joyful living

Diminish capacity for genuine relationships

lock you in unnecessary pain

Faulty thinking is contagious and can spread—which makes it even more dangerous.

We are going to look at three major types of faulty thinking,

Faulty Thinking 1: All-or-Nothing Thinking

This type of thinking exaggerates and makes things bigger than they are.

Usually All-or-Nothing thinkers see everything in black and white—little room for the gray areas of life.

I.e. A bad experience with wrong Christian leads this type of thinker to conclude ALL Christians are hypocrites.

You buy a certain brand of car that is a lemon and conclude all cars belonging to that brand are lemons.

Lets look at a certain Bible character who appeared to think this way at one point.

Genesis 42:36 NLT

36 Jacob exclaimed, “You are robbing me of my children! Joseph is gone! Simeon is gone! And now you want to take Benjamin, too. Everything is going against me!”

**Look at the entire passage—how the brothers were reacting to the situation and the way they were thinking.

Good things were actually happening in Jacob’s life but he couldn’t see them.

What he saw was a son Joseph he believed was dead; and now he believes two more sons were going to be lost all the while dealing with a famine that was threatening the life of his household.

Was his concern valid?

Absolutely!

Was his global thinking that “everything is against me” true?

No! He was not seeing how God HAD blessed him and how he was about to be greatly blesses.

He failed to discern that God was working on his behalf—and his family’s—for a long range plan to keep them from starving by moving them to Egypt.

**This was also God’s plan for preserving the line that Jesus would come from.

His thinking was untrue—Joseph was alive, Jacob was not losing Simeon and Benjamin.

All-or-Nothing thinking is a tragedy.

This type of thinking is believing something that is untrue and then spreads to others around us.

Examples of Faulty and Accurate Thinking:

Faulty: That person will NEVER change.

Accurate: If God can change me God can change anyone!

Faulty: Men can’t be trusted.

Accurate: I was once betrayed by a man, but I know some who are faithful and trustworthy.

Faulty: All lawyers are deceitful.

Accurate: There are SOME dishonest lawyers; but there are some really great and godly ones.

When we use statements that include words like always, all, everybody, or never, are usually indicators we are engaging in faulty thinking.

A simple change in wording can create a major change in us and enable to reframe a situation differently.

When we engage in all-or-nothing thinking, we easily miss the ways God is moving and working in our lives.

Consider Nathanael when he heard the Messiah was from the small town of Nazareth.

John 1:46 NLT

46 “Nazareth!” exclaimed Nathanael. “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” “Come and see for yourself,” Philip replied.

He made a wrong judgment based on a stereotype.

How did Jesus respond to Nathanael’s faulty thinking?

John 1:47–51 NLT

47 As they approached, Jesus said, “Now here is a genuine son of Israel—a man of complete integrity.” 48 “How do you know about me?” Nathanael asked. Jesus replied, “I could see you under the fig tree before Philip found you.” 49 Then Nathanael exclaimed, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God—the King of Israel!” 50 Jesus asked him, “Do you believe this just because I told you I had seen you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this.” 51 Then he said, “I tell you the truth, you will all see heaven open and the angels of God going up and down on the Son of Man, the one who is the stairway between heaven and earth.”

He did’t take it personally or get defensive. He corrected Nathanael’s immature distortion and invited him to follow Him and have his eyes opened to greater things in the future.

Faulty Thinking 2: Taking Things Personally

We take things personally when we take offense at or take responsibility or blame for something before we have all the data.

When we do this we fail to acknowledge the ambiguity of a situation and rush to a negative interpretation of events.

However, in most of these situations, our interpretation is not based on reality but on stories we tell ourselves.

Examples:

A friend is late for lunch appointment. She doesn’t respect me.

I wasn’t asked to be in leadership. The pastor must believe I don’t have the gifts.

When we do this we cause ourselves unnecessary grief.

Do we break any commandments when we jump to conclusions about other people that likely are not true?

Exodus 20:16 NIV

16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

When we jump to conclusions about other people, we build up resentment which often turns to guilt for the inability to forgive them.

Examples of Faulty and Accurate Thinking:

Faulty: She did not return my phone call or text. She must be upset with me.

Accurate: She may not have gotten the messages. She may have been in a rush and didn’t have time. She may have forgotten or gotten distracted by other concerns.

Faulty: Pastor did not acknowledge me at church today. He is stuck up or avoiding me.

Accurate: He may have been focused on the sermon and the Holy Spirit may have been speaking to him at that moment. He may have been distracted by a serious prayer concern just given to him and may not have seen me.

Faulty: They didn’t invite me to lunch with them. They don’t like me.

Accurate: Maybe they were discussing a project while at lunch. Perhaps they have their reasons for not inviting me and that is okay. They are free to choose.

Remember: Much of life is ambiguous and open to interpretation. If we make quick, impulsive judgments, they are often wrong.

Can you think of a Bible character who was a great example of someone who did not take things personally?

Lets look at Mary, Jesus’ mother.

Matthew 1:19 NLT

19 Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.

Its touching that we do not see resentment toward Joseph who was going to end their engagement and divorce her.

Luke 2:7 NLT

7 She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

She gave birth in a MANGER of all places and doesn’t seem to have any bad words for the innkeeper who said he had no room for her even though she was nine months pregnant.

Luke 2:35 NLT

35 As a result, the deepest thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your very soul.”

When it was time for the baby to be dedicated, she was given difficult words at the temple by the prophet Simeon.

Rather than being offended or resentful toward the words

What was her response?

Luke 2:48–51 ESV

48 And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” 49 And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

Mary pondered and treasured these things in her heart.

We don’t know for certain what Mary was thinking, but it appears she used great restraint in not telling herself negative stories about others even when their actions or words could have been hurtful.

Do you think its possible that her ability to not take things personally is one of her great secrets to her spirituality?

Her relationship with God apparently protected her heart from being offended by others in the way they spoke to her or treated her. She did not retaliate when others misunderstood her.

When we are able to not take things personally, it is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Faulty Thinking 3: Thinking Things Will Never Change

This way of thinking relates to your view of the future. If you believe things will never change, you remain deeply rooted in the past.

Common thoughts with this type of thinking are:

I’ll never have a great relationship.

Our family will always be dysfunctional.

Our child will always be difficult.

I will never make ends meet.

I’ll never have any friends.

Who in Scripture believed things would never change?

Saul and his army believed things would never change—they would never be able to defeat Goliath and the Philistine army.

They were wrong. God used David, a young shepherd boy with a godly perspective to change things.

Peter believed things would never change. As a Jewish believer he never entered the home of a Gentile. He had a faulty belief that Jews and Gentiles should remain separate as the church began to grow.

In Acts 10-11 , God gave Peter a vision and showed him this would change.

The disciples believed things would never change after Jesus was crucified and buried. They were wrong.

Jesus rose from the dead and sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (Acts 2).

**Remember: The past does not have to predict the future. Things can change for the better. The future does not have to hold more of the same. We can change.

Examples of Faulty and Accurate Thinking:

Faulty: I’ll never have a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.

Accurate: I can learn skills needed for successful relationships with the opposite sex. My past doesn’t have to be my future.

Faulty: Our marriage will always be hard.

Accurate: I can get the necessary help and coaching so my marriage becomes a pleasure. The past doesn’t have to be the future.

Faulty: My sone will always be difficult because of his learning disability.

Accurate: I can learn ways to better deal with my son’s difficulties that can improve our relationship. The future doesn’t have to be like the past.

Breaking Down the Wall of Faulty Thinking:

Know when not to follow your feelings.

2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV

7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Stop mind reading.

1 John 3:20 NLT

20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

Only God knows everything.

Do something different.

2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

When we begin a new life in Christ, everything changes. The past does not have to predict the future!