Husbands and Wives, Christ and Church

Introduction

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

As I announced my resignation last week, one thought gave me a sense of peace throughout all of it. This is Christ’s church.

This is not my church, but this church belongs to the Lord.

I think it is very appropriate sermon for today.

Marriage is a representation of Christ’s love for His bride, the local church.

This church isn’t my bride, but rather, it is Christ’s bride.

CIT: Marriage is one of the greatest pictures of Christ’s love for the church.

Explanation

Ephesians 5:22-24 // Wives Submit to Husbands

Should wives still submit to their husbands in 2022?

Yes, but only as the Bible prescribes it.

If we believe that God created and ordained marriage, then we believe that God understands the way that marriage ought to operate.

If wives should submit to their husbands, what should it look like?

What does submission NOT look like?

If you are being abused, you need to seek safety. Submission is not staying with an abusive spouse.

Submission is not doing everything that your husband tells you to do.

Submission is not a lack of ability to have a conversation about major life decisions in a family.

Submission is not an endorsement of your husbands sin, illegal actions, or harmful activity.

“Ezer” in the Bible, especially Genesis 2, is the word “helper.” God tells Adam that he will grant him a helper.

We might think that helper is derogatory towards women. It shows that they are secondary citizens in the kingdom of God.

Helper, every other time it is used in the Old Testament, refers to who? God! God is man’s helper.

The term, more completely, means “one who fills up what is lacking in another.”

As a kid, my dad would take me around the farm. Whenever we saw someone in the community, they would say, “Looks like you have some good help today.” We tend to think of a helper that way.

Instead, think of a helper as someone who has critical knowledge of a piece of equipment on the farm that is broken. My dad would call them and say, “this is broken, and I cannot fix it.”

In this way, God created women. Women can do some things that men cannot, and they fill up what is lacking in the man.

Helper is not patronizing, but rather, it is uplifting to the status of woman.

Submission IS, as Sam Storms defines it, “I delight for you to take the initiative with our family. I am glad when you take responsibility and lead with love.”

It is allowing your husband to have the spiritual leadership in your family.

It is encouraging him to take up the mantle as the discipler of your children and the cultivator of your faith.

It is knowing that he will be judged for how he leads his family and the ultimate responsibility of their spiritual and physical wellbeing lays upon his shoulders.

Pitfalls

Sometimes, wives are scornful of their husbands attempts to lead them.

When a husband began trying to pray with his wife, “Well, look at you trying to be all spiritual. What made you want to do this?”

Well, Jesus?

Instead, embrace his attempts to love and lead you.

Sometimes, women feel incomplete without a man.

Paul admonishes Timothy to embrace celibacy.

We are complete, not with a husband or a spouse, but with God.

Women do not ultimately need a man to lead them, but rather, they are led by God. However, women who are married should seek their husbands leadership.

Lack of patience at their husband’s spiritual growth.

No man is perfect. You may be more spiritually mature than your husband. You ought to still attempt to allow him to lead you as you grow together.

Seek the Lord together and encourage Him to grow.

Ephesians 5:25-30 // Husbands Love Their Wives

What does loving your wife look like?

It means being willing to do everything for your bride that Christ did for His.

Christ gave Himself up for the church.

He sanctified her, cleansed her, and presents her without blemish before the Father.

Your life aught to be spent building your wife into the person that you aught to be.

We do not embrace leadership was a scepter to rule but as a towel and basin to wash feet.

You ought to love your wife in such a way as to present her as beautiful, holy, and gracious as you can before the Father.

You are responsible for leading your wife spiritually.

Do you pray together?

Do you read the Word of God together?

Are you invested in her spiritual health?

Do you take initiative for family devotionals?

Male headship is a Genesis-Revelation concept, not specifically a teaching of Paul.

Roman women were fairly independent. I wouldn’t call it anything close to the American Women’s Suffrage movement, but they did have rights that most women throughout human history had.

So to say that Paul was simply teaching as a product of his time is not true.

Paul’s specific admonishions

READ THE TEXT

Ephesians 5:31-33 // Marriage as a Metaphor

Marriage will often make us happy, but God’s first intention is that marriage make us holy.

Just as Christ’s ultimate work is to purify His bride, so the work of a husband and wife is to purify one another.

Marriage is ultimately a reflection of the gospel.

Invitation

If you believe that marriage is beautiful, it only begins to describe the love that God has for you.

We dial into our marriages knowing the God calls us to know Him and submit ultimately to Him.

Give your life to Jesus.