Desolate Daughters That Recovered
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Group Therapy Session 3
Group Therapy Session 3
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her.
2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.
3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea.
4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.”
7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.
10 Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him.
11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel.
13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”
14 But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.
15 Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her.
16 “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her.
17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!”
18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters.
19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying.
20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.
Desolate Daughters that Recovered
Desolate Daughters that Recovered
DESOLATE: HORRIBLE (Ps. 40:2), DESTRUCTION, SOLITARY (Ps. 68:6), EMPTY (Nah. 2:10), DESTROYED, COMFORTLESS, DERELICT, DESPAIR, WASTE, RUINS, MUDDY,FRIENDLESS (Ps. 68:6), PLUNDERED, LAID WASTE, DESERT, UNINHABITED, BEREFT,MAKE WASTE, WASTING, SPOILING, VOID, WASTE, DESERT, “lie derelict,” “lay waste,” “object of horror,” DISASTER, RUIN, SCANDAL, DESTRUCTION, etc
In the OT “desolate” renders many terms, often denoting devastation as well as abandonment. “Desolate” is most often the translation of Heb. šāmēm, šemāmâ, šammâ. The usual meaning of the šmm group is “destroy, devastate,” or “be devastated, appalled.”
What word stands out most for you?
Tamar was desolate in the sense of “deserted” after her brother Amnon ravished her, for she had no husband (2 S. 13:20).
TAMAR In My Opinion was deserted by several people:
Amnon: Her half-brother
Absolom: Her whole brother
3. David: Her Absent father
By the raising of hands: Has any one experienced the feeling of desertion from the men in there lives.
Do you think Your choice of men for relationships are shaped by your deserted experiences.
Do you think perhaps your behaviors good or bad is connected to your Desolate experiences?
Tamar was a princes and would become possibly the Queen of Jerusalem or another country depending on who her father would have arranged her to Marry.
But the rape robbed her of that.
How Do I Recover?
Recovery: A return to a Normal State of Health, Mind & Strength
Confessing It Wasn’t My Fault
Being willing to meet with a therapist regularly
Trusting God as your Abba father.
How Many Of Us Still Struggle Seeing God as Our Father Which Art In Heaven
36 And He was saying, Abba, [which means] Father, everything is possible for You. Take away this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You [will].
15 For [the Spirit which] you have now received [is] not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption [the Spirit producing sonship] in [the bliss of] which we cry, Abba (Father)! Father!
6 And because you [really] are [His] sons, God has sent the [Holy] Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, Abba (Father)! Father!
It is a term expressing warm affection and filial confidence
Let’s Deal with the hard questions
Why would someone that should love me do something like that to me?
Why didn’t my Father or my mother see what was happening to Me?
Why Would God allow me to go through this?
Recovery: A return to a Normal State of Health, Mind & Strength