A Pastoral Heart-to-Heart

2 Corinthians 7:2–16 NASB95

Make room for us in your hearts; we wronged no one, we corrupted no one, we took advantage of no one. I do not speak to condemn you, for I have said before that you are in our hearts to die together and to live together. Great is my confidence in you; great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort; I am overflowing with joy in all our affliction. For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within. But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus; and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me; so that I rejoiced even more. For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while— I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the offender nor for the sake of the one offended, but that your earnestness on our behalf might be made known to you in the sight of God. For this reason we have been comforted. And besides our comfort, we rejoiced even much more for the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For if in anything I have boasted to him about you, I was not put to shame; but as we spoke all things to you in truth, so also our boasting before Titus proved to be the truth. His affection abounds all the more toward you, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you.

INTRO: Many times when I stand up here, looking out at your smiling faces and blank stares, I wonder what you are thinking. I wonder if the message I preach is clear- if your mind is stirred; I wonder if you are thinking about something else entirely or if I lost you at the last point.

But, I recognize that I will probably continue wondering… you are a mysterious bunch. But seriously, I do often wonder what your honest expectations of me are… though I am grateful that you don’t seem to have outlandish expectations.

I remember several years ago seeing a job posting for a pastor where the church expressed their expectation that their new preacher would wear skinny jeans and preach or basically perform in the same manner as another popular preacher.

I am curious as to how that played out… But this is an extreme example of congregational expectations.

But what about the expectations pastors have of congregants? Have you ever considered that I have certain hopes and expectations for you?

It’s true! But let me set your mind at ease:

I do not expect that someone will come forward each week for prayer or asking to be baptized. Actually, I realize that because I have a personal relationship with you, those conversations are more likely to happen privately and even during the week.

I do not expect that any one message I preach will impact you for your entire life. I do not expect that you will spend every waking hour reflecting upon Sunday’s sermon.

But I do have expectations. So do you. So do all churches and pastors. And, so did the Apostle Paul, and the church at Corinth.

What we find in this 7th chapter of 2 Corinthians is a pastoral “heart-to-heart” of sorts, where Paul lays out his expectation for the church in regards to their response to his teaching and leadership while acknowledging their own rightful expectations.

This section precedes some teaching where this kind of honest communication is necessary, but also serves as a base line for what I believe every pastor most likely expects of the congregations they serve and also what congregations should expect from the pastors that lead them.

Now, this is not an exhaustive list of biblical expectations, but it is aimed broad enough that we can all agree upon them.

This is helpful for both pastor and congregation and I believe will allow us both to develop biblical expectations for responding to a pastor’s leadership. After all, one of the greatest causes of conflict in relationships is unmet expectations. It would be wrong for either of us to fail to communicate these.

And, lucky for us, this is right where our study lands us today. So, if you picked up a bulletin on your way in, I encourage you to make use of the sermon guide that I’ve included as we study God’s Word together this morning. The message is titled, A Pastoral Heart-to-Heart. I hope to walk you through 3 biblical expectations of church and pastor.

Let’s dive in.

The first is:

We Can Expect to Love and be Loved (2-7)

Let me just read verses 2-3 (READ)

You can kind of hear the appeal here- Paul and his cohorts had not done anything that should warrant bitterness or resentment. “Make room for us in your heart… I do not speak to condemn you...”

IOW- Don’t get blinded by the circumstances. You know me. You know that I love you.

You might remember when we started this study that Paul had initially planned to visit the Corinthian church before going to Macedonia, but due to the discipline he administered and the fact that the church was still trudging through these sin-issues, he felt it best to delay his visit. Some folks took this personally.

But Paul reminds the church of his love for them and acknowledges the work of God in them that makes him beam with joy. (4)

Here is what I want you to see:

I truly care about you. When I preach, I don’t simply try to convey a generic message or attempt to transfer data from point A to point B.

As I study and prepare to present God’s Word each week, it’s not in a vacuum. For many of you, I am aware of life’s challenges. Perhaps I’ve counseled you during the week or sat with you in the hospital room. For others, I’ve had the opportunity to minister to your family as you mourn the loss of a loved one.

I spend time in prayer with you and for you. I’ve been to your schools, your jobs, and your homes. I see your face each week, talk with your deacons about your needs, etc.

I know that I’m far from flawless in this. But God has given me a sincere love for you as individuals and as a body.

Paul was with the Corinthians for a couple years before God moved him to take the Gospel to other areas. But Paul did not stop caring for them simply because he was not physically there.

Folks, that is how God operates. You will always have a place in my heart because we are bound together in Christ.

Likewise, Paul desired for the Corinthian Church to receive him in love also. They needed to know that he did not just preach at them or offer correction out of spite for their sins.

Rather, his desire- my desire is that you receive my teaching and instructions as from one who has your best interest in mind.

ILL: One of the things I appreciate about Dabo Sweeney, the head coach of the Clemson football team, is that he seems to approach coaching this way. He’s said more than once that his desire is not simply to develop a winning program, but to develop these young men as people. He wants them to be good citizens, to have good attitudes, etc.

He says “Let the light that shines in you be brighter than the light that shines on you.” - The players respond to his leadership because he cares about them.

And that is what I desire for this church also. I want God’s best for you- I join with the apostle as he conveys his joy in the church. (4)

I beam with joy when I see you growing in the faith! When I hear how God is shaping your thinking about the Gospel- when I see your hunger for God’s Word, I am elated and so very proud of you.

(I’m not picking on you when I preach nor am I simply trying to step on your toes… I truly care for you and want to see you grow.)

We should expect to love and be loved to the glory of God. After all, He is the one who put us here together!!This love drives me to teach and preach in ways that are relevant to your life, and enables you to receive and apply the truth of God’s Word without resentment.

Discuss: What does it look like when a church and pastor have sincere love for one another?

Next, Paul demonstrates that:

We Can Expect Honesty (8-10)

Let’s read 8-10 again (READ)

Paul explains that he understands his teaching caused the Corinthians grief. But here’s the thing: The truth sometimes hurts.

And Paul knew that it would be a mistake to neglect the needed correction. These folks were not just going to miraculously stumble upon the truth and apply it to their lives. He also had no intention of only telling them things that they might want to hear- tickling their ears, so to speak.

No, Paul had a duty to speak the honest truth of God’s Word to the church. And as a result, yes, they were grieved, but their grief brought them to a point of repentance.

ILL: Parents- when you discipline your kids- you aren’t simply trying to make them sad or hurt, right? You don’t take away their privileges because you enjoy seeing them look longingly at that game console or spank them just to see them cry. NO!

You want them to recognize where they went wrong so they can correct that behavior!

That’s the same idea here.

As a church, you can expect that I will teach on the tough topics, difficult doctrines, and even that which is controversial in our culture in order to bring out the truth of God’s standards. That’s one reason we work through whole books of the Bible and not simply hit topical subjects.

You can expect that I will not dance around issues that are clear in God’s Word… even if I offend you.

**Note: My goal is not to offend you, but to bring you into the light of Christ where you can be made whole.

And likewise, I expect that as we deal honestly with Scripture, you will respond honestly as well.

Going back to the Corinthian church- Paul says their sorrow led them to repentance without regret.

This means that they turned from their sins and did not look back. They received the truth and correction of Paul’s teaching and applied it to their lives in such a way that they accepted God’s authority and lordship.

It’s as Jesus spoke regarding the Gospel- they put their hand to the plow, and did not look back.

And that is what I expect from you- that when you hear the truth of God’s Word, you will deal honestly with it. You will allow the authority of Christ to rule in your life, and even if it means sorrow for a time, that sorrow leads to repentance without regret.

Discuss: What is repentance without regret? How honest are you in your response to our regular teaching?

Church, we can and should expect love and honesty from one another.

But finally, Paul shows us that

We Can Expect Authenticity (11-12)

Let me read 11-12 again (READ)

Paul uses the word ‘earnestness’ twice in these two verses. But what does it mean?

Well, it means: devotion, enthusiasm, fervor… or sincerity/ authenticity.

IOW, it means that our faith is real and our lives are a reflection of that. Look again at Paul’s excitement in v. 11. Look at how he describes it -

The Godly Sorrow which brought about repentance and salvation has produced a genuine faith in the Corinthians.

These folks were repulsed by their own sinfulness;

They were now living absolutely contrary to their prior sinful state. They knew the danger of sin and guarded their lives against it.

They had a yearning and desire to live for Christ, and they allowed themselves to be completely changed by the Gospel!

This authentic Christian life is why Paul wrote to them- it’s why he corrected them in the first place. As an apostle, his desire was NOT that the Corinthians would all be better rule-followers, but that they would be better Christ-followers!

Folks, sometimes we can get into the mindset that we are here to check off boxes of in our lives… if we do this and don’t do that, then we are living Christian lives.

The problem is that we take our eyes off of Jesus and elevate a behavior as our new god.

Life is going to be messy. When you look at Paul- he knew he had flaws… he called himself the “chief of sinners”.

That’s true for me and you as well. So we cannot expect that either of us will be perfect.

But we can and should expect that we would be real. That our lives would be an honest reflection of our allegiance to our Lord.

And this will be testified of by those whom we interact with along the way.

In the final verses of Ch. 7, Paul shared that he had told Titus of the authenticity of the Corinthian church- their true love for Jesus and when Titus went to visit, he witnessed it for himself. Paul was not merely puffing them up.

Folks, week to week I will stand before you - whether in this setting or in a more personal way and my goal is to walk you closer to Jesus… to present you, the Bride of Christ - blameless before Him on that day.

We are going to have to deal with issues of brokenness, sin, and devotion that you may not like... But I expect that you will respond to God’s work through me with love, honesty, and authenticity…

If your role and relationship within this church lacks these things, then I pray that the word of God will penetrate your heart today so that you may come to repentance without regret which leads to salvation.

I want to close by saying this:

It is my great joy to serve as your pastor. I rejoice in what God is doing in the life of LRBC, and thank Him daily that He has placed me here. I love you, and pray that God will continue to bless His church as we live out His plan according to biblical expectations.

[Pray]

Discuss: What does earnestness look like in your life?