Doing Biblical Counseling_Msg 4

Introduction:

When counseling someone it is important to encourage them to redirect their focus, that is to set their focus on God first, then those around them, and then to order their lives in ways consistent with that focus. Sadly, much of the counseling people receive reinforces the counselee’s focus on self. This method of counseling is in opposition to scriptural and theological principles. Multiple passages in the Bible encourage and command to think of God and others and not to think more highly of self. In fact, Proverbs warns of falling into destruction to the one who thinks of self more than others.

The heart of biblical counsel ought to be directed as the Psalmist states in Psalm 57:5, Be thou exalted, O God above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth. This thought and focus must be the controlling attitude in the counselee’s life. The peace of God will come to the person whose heart is overwhelmed and desirable for God to be exalted and glorified. God is God and I am not.

A.W. Tozer said, “There is logic behind God’s preeminence. That place is His by every right in earth or heaven. While we take to ourselves the place that is His, the whole course of our lives is out of joint. Nothing will or can restore order till the hearts make the decision: God shall be exalted above.”

The key to people changing is living the counsel received from the Spirit of God directed to reveal the sinfulness of man and the righteousness of God.

Sin and Self-Esteem

The blinding effect of self-esteem

Advocates of self-esteem have been remarkably successful in convincing people that self-esteem is the solution to whatever ails everyone.

As self-esteem may be on the rise according to some surveys, the level of morality in our society is on the decline. All the positive thinking about ourselves seems to not be doing anything to elevate culture or motivate them to live better lives.

Really, they end up being blinded into thinking they are okay, when they are really worse off. The level at which self-esteem is “lost” is lower. What used to bother people in public now no longer does. The public display of every sort of immorality through media and other avenues has become bolder.

A summary of an article Newsweek published with a report that stated the notion that self-esteem makes people better is simply a matter of blind religious faith. It is a religion that is antithetical to Christianity, because it is predicated on the unbiblical presupposition that people are basically good and need to recognize their own goodness.

Self-esteem simply blinds to the truth that man is not inherently good.

The Church and self-esteem

In 1952 a man by the name of Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book that is still popular today called The Power of Positive Thinking. The book actually opens with these words, “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!”

Just take a moment to think about how we even try to encourage others. We without even thinking about it actually use this logic that sounds so good but yet is so wrong. We say phrases like “You can do it, you have the ability to do it. Just trust your abilities and you will figure it out.” All too often phrases like this or thoughts similar to this fill our lives with little contemplation and dependence on the power and person of God.

Every ability that rests in the church, in the believer, exists because God did the enabling. Our focus shifts to look what I did rather than what God did. Our humanness and depraved nature defaults to this selfish thinking.

Newsweek has even commented on the trend: “…American churches, which once did not shrink from calling their congregants wretches, have moved toward a more congenial view of human nature….Chastening sinners is considered counterproductive: it makes them feel worse about themselves.”

The church as they have adopted this thinking and way of looking at dealing with people have made themselves more vulnerable to danger. They are not in a position to talk about a person’s sin against God or to help people already comfortable in self-love and self-righteousness that they need salvation.

This self-esteem has nowhere to go when it comes to salvation because it requires discussion about sin.

This all goes antithetical to God's plan on going through spiritual struggle and trial. The Holy Spirit has everything to do with a person biblically responding to spiritual and earthly struggles that face them.

Tonight Primary Aim: To provide helpful advice in helping others during their spiritual struggles – Galatians 6:1

Transition: As we have been looking into counseling others biblically, we have seen the importance of it from the counsel we have in God’s Word. We do biblical counseling because God has called us to be His disciples. The call of discipleship is that of encouraging and assisting others to GROW in their relationship with God.

This evening we are going to look at some helpful advice in encouraging and assisting others through giving biblical counsel.

STRIVE for biblical change

Spiritual change is sourced in the work of Christ in us.

Colossians 3:1

2 Corinthians 3:18

2 Peter 1:3-4

Philippians 2:13

Spiritual change is made a reality with the renewing of the mind.

Ephesians 4

Colossians 3:10

Spiritual change is maintained with a Heavenly/Christ focus.

Galatians 5:16

Matthew 22:37

1 John 2:15-16

Colossians 3

Have a PLAN

Salvation

Family History

Religious Background

Possible Areas of Struggle

Morality

Anger/Bitterness

Worldliness

Authority

Fear of Man

Laziness

Be prepared with scripture to provide HOPE

1 Corinthians 10:13

Romans 8:1-2

Galatians 5:16

Ephesians 6:12-18

KNOW your counselee

Physical Data -

Sleep patterns can either reveal or contribute to spiritual problems

Exercise, Ecclesiastes 5:12; exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety; it releases stress and tension which can lead to affecting our mood

Illness can sometimes be caused by personal sin – Psalm 32:3-4; 38:3; Prov 14:30; sickness not caused by personal sin may be just a temptation to sin. When things are not going well depression begins to take root.

Medications – can physiological and attitude changes.

Resources

What resources are available to counselee to help?

What resources are available to hinder?

Spiritual resources – ask questions regarding resources that affect the spiritual life (intellectual, educational, experiential, social)

Emotions – spiritual smoke detectors; they warn of the primary problem. (1 Cor 10:13 ability to control emotions)

Actions – Our actions are related to other areas of life

God’s conversation with Cain – Genesis 4:1-8

Spiritual vs Sinner – Psalm 1

Foolish vs Wise – Luke 6:46-49

Thoughts and Desires

Mark 7:18-23

Romans 12:1-2

Galatians 5:16-21

Historical Data – person’s present and past life

When counseling someone, when working with someone in assisting them in their spiritual growth it is of highest importance that you strive for biblical change for biblical change is the only lasting change. As you strive to promote spiritual change in the person God has allowed you to work with, do all you can to plan and know the person. One person said “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail.”

In so many ways this is correct. As you work side by side with people strive for biblical change, plan your time together, and then know the person best you can. Strive-Plan-Know are the first three true aspects to being the biblical counselor God has called you to be through the great commission and other locales in the NT.

Learn to LISTEN

Gather Data

Personal Data Inventory Form

Ask appropriate questions

Observe Nonverbal and Manner of communication

Interpret Data

What biblical category describes the counselee?

Saved or unsaved

Spiritually mature or immature

Unruly, fainthearted, or weak

What biblically describes the problem?

What biblical insight of close causes of problems?

Conflict

Instability

Lying

Confusion

Fear

Insecurity

Bizarre Behavior

Worry/Anxiety

Judgmentalism

Relationship of problems to each other

Hindrances to change

Persons expectations desires for counseling

Give COUNSEL

Recognize the problem

Idols of the Heart

Root/Tree Analogy – example from Genesis 37

Symptoms (Fruits) – Romans 7:4

Sources (Roots) – 1 John 2:15-17

Pride of Life – motivation – the desire to be – Isa 14:12-15

Lust of the eyes – materialism – the desire to have – Lu 12:15

Lust of the flesh – morality – the desire to do – Gal 5:16-17

Soil (Desire/Lust)

Wrong View of God

Love of self greater than love of God

Repent of the sin

Realize your position in Christ

Renew your relationship

Conclusion