Sermon Tone Analysis

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Full Series

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Lesson 1 – Singles and Marrieds

The world has NEVER been less sure of what a man is or what a woman is – supreme court justice was famously asked . . .

Complementarianism vs. Egalitarianism - I’m still studying but it seems I will hold a, perhaps slightly adjusted, form of what I held before beginning to study, which is Complementarianism – We COMPLEMENT each other – Equal in value, different in roles, strengths, etc.

Male domination vs. Negation of Gender Differences

Complementarians acknowledge and lament the history of abuses of women personally and systemically, And, on the other hand, complementarians lament the feminist and egalitarian impulses that minimize God-given differences between men and women and dismantle the order God has designed for the flourishing of our life together.

The correction of domination isn’t egalitarianism, its complementarianism.

The solution is not to take away the MALE, but to take away the DOMINATION, and in its place put things like Sacrifice

Men and Women are good for each other, complement each other, but

1.

This is not just, or even primarily, referring to marriage (men and women display the glory of God better than a hypothetical world where only one or the other exists)

2. Is about marriage, but this does not mean that men and women need wives and husbands to be what God intends or to be fully human or to fully enjoy life or to be Blessed

“Not Biblical Husbandry and Wifery”

It will feel like I am talking about marriage a lot here in this series, though I am not really, I am talking about MAN and WOMAN and what is essential to their natures, and marriage is not one of those things, but much of what is said will have the flavor of marriage and some things WILL only apply to marriage, and it is important that it is made clear that marriage isn’t for everyone, and you are not lesser if you are not married or more if you are.

How many times have you heard someone say, “He's such a great guy, how is he still single?”

Or, “She's such a catch.

When will she get married off?”

The implication behind such questions is obvious: great men and women get married, and those who are not married are just in some before-stage of their true purpose.

The Bible scoffs at this idea as true of all.

Talking not just to singles, but to marrieds, because one of the big mistakes we make, myself included, is focus our conversations with single people on their prospects for marriage as if that’s the most important thing God is doing with them right now is sending them on a hunt for a husband or wife, and it implies to them that this is the thing that matters most when it is what we are constantly talking about.

Singleness comes in a variety of ways, not married yet, spouse dies, divorce, intention/choice, but I want to speak to all of these types.

(Carson and Piper)

1. Marriage is not Anyone’s Final Destiny of Any Human

Mark 12:25 – A widow who loses a husband and whom God gives another will not be a bigamist in Heaven.

You were not created to be married, it is not essential to who and what you are and who and what God intends for you to be, because you won’t be married in heaven, marriage is truly only a very short reality of your eternal existence

(know wife as wife and husband as husband in heaven)

Matt 19:27-30 – So in some sense, the reward very well may be greater in some sense for the one who did not enjoy marriage here

2. Jesus Christ, the most fully human person who ever lived, was not married.

3. Singleness has its Benefits

Paul says he wishes all could enjoy the benefits of ministry that he had as a single man.

(Me and Ariel) 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 32ff

1 Tim 5:8 – Singles don’t have these good, God-glorifying, but large burdens

A single missionary in Kenya, Rhena Taylor wrote, “Being single has meant that I am free to take risks that I might not take were I a mother of a family dependent on me.

Being single has given me freedom to move around the world without having to pack up a household first.

And this freedom has brought to me moments that I would not trade for anything else this side of eternity”

4. Paul and countless other missionaries Chose Singleness for Christ’s sake

1 Cor 9:5, 15, Matt 19:12

Mary Slessor was a missionary in Calabar, West Africa, and deeply desired a man named Charles Morrison, a missionary on the coast of Africa.

They were engaged to be married, but his mission would not allow him to transfer to the interior because of his poor health.

She would have to move to him to be married.

She said this when asked if she would.

“It is out of the question.

I would never take the idea into consideration.

I could not leave my work for such a reason.

To leave a field like Okoyong without a worker and go to one of ten or a dozen where the people have an open Bible and plenty of privilege!

It is absurd.

If God does not send him up here then he must do his work and I must do mine where we have been placed.”

This doesn’t just apply to foreign missionaries of course, but single people everywhere who love and are devoted to the Lord.

There are few things more courageous than accepting a call to singleness for God’s glory.

Jesus calls Singleness a GIFT, and not just a talent, but a present by God’s grace!

Not JUST a gift like teaching but also a GIFT like children!

It is a GIFT to be single, whether permanently, or for a time.

NOT FOR ME RENE! Yes, even for you.

You may be confident that God has marriage in your future and maybe so, but your singleness now is a GIFT and is by God’s GRACE.

5. Christian singleness SHOUTS the SUFFICIENCIES of CHRIST

Christ will sustain you.

You have enough strength to remain single forever.

OUR CULTURE (the movies end when they get together)

It is not a bad thing to desire a husband or a wife, but it is not ok and is idolatrous to just sit around and wait on one as if God is waiting for you to find a husband so he can use you, and its not ok for married folks to talk to single folks like this.

Paul doesn’t speak of singleness in 1 Cor 7 as some Winter that he is enduring just to get to the Spring of marriage, he speaks of it as beautiful and desirable and even preferable in some sense!

SOUL MATE?

Here’s what you need to realize: if you are single and unhappy or married and unhappy, the answer is not getting into a relationship, and the answer is not getting out of one.

THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS AND ONLY EVER JESUS CHRIST.

YOU WEREN’T BORN TO GET MARRIED, YOU DON’T EXIST TO GET HITCHED, YOUR PURPOSE ISN’T FOUND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! YOU WERE BORN TO KNOW JESUS, YOU EXIST TO LOVE JESUS, YOUR PURPOSE IS FOUND IN JESUS!

COOL RUNNINGS (true story, at least based on one, whatever that means): “A gold medal is a Great thing, but if you’re not enough without a gold medal, you’ll never be enough with one.”

If you’re not enough without marriage . .

Take your hope away from marriage, and put it on Christ.

Only then will you be a suitable marriage partner or suitable marriage potential.

Men and Women Complement Each Other – God’s glory revealed more fully with both of them – This is extremely true in marriage, but it doesn’t mean that the single person is less than or less God-glorifying, often they are more

- - - I spent some time today working on applying for approval for my final semester in seminary . . .

next week my final paper is due in my second to last class – Abortion – Next Wednesday night pause from this series - - -

(Piper) Man and Young Woman on a date – he asks her out – he pays – he finds out over dinner àblackbelt- he gently pulls her behind him, she allows him, and says over my dead body, tells her to run, she says this is the kind of man . . .

Not a matter of competency, not a matter of superior or inferior competency, it is what it is at the bottom of a man to be a man, what it is at the bottom of a woman to be a woman

She may be wealthier, she may be better fit to fight, competency isn’t the issue

In general, men are made as fighters, broader shoulders, more testosterone, etc. . . to fit the role given, but not always, and the skinniest weakest man alive is still a man. . .

I don’t have a clear definition of man or of woman to give to you yet, we are going to build this together as we go, but I do want to say that you already have a definition of it down deep even if you cant put it into words, you still know there is a difference.

Everyone does at bottom, it takes much self-convincing to not think so.

Its one of the things we humans recognize almost immediately, one of the main topics of conversation with Coen at 3, like it was with Naomi at 3 and the boys when they were little is who is a boy and who is a girl – Randomly – daddy youre a boy like me, all the boys, Naomi will say her and mom are having a girls day.

This is part of the early understanding of identity, its one of those things at the baseline – Coen doesn’t know much, but he knows hes a boy, and hes like Bubba and Jerry and Daddy in that way.

Coen wears hats because I wear hats, Naomi wears pretty bracelets because mom does.

Guess Who with Coen, I’m so much better than him, I kill him . . .

Egalitarian – Stress the EQUAL VALUE OF MEN AND WOMEN - strategy is to minimize the differences.

WHY?

We don’t do this with other things.

If I wanted to explain to you that Football was good for young boys AND that playing an instrument was good for young boys – I wouldn’t do so by devaluing their differences, in many ways I would lift up their differences because along with their offering discipline and work ethic, they also have their own strengths and do things in a young man that the other cannot.

The pathway to saying BOTH ARE VALUABLE should not be to minimize their differences.

This is a great loss and taking a tremendous toll on our young people who do not know what it means to be man or woman, which they know is one of the deepest most fundamental things about themselves.

Additionally, it may not be coincidental that since feminist ideals have begun to take hold in our culture, sexual exploitation and confusion and perversity and what has been called sexual freedom have exploded.

What would you say to your child who asked, “Dad what does it mean to be a man and not a woman?...”

Where do you get that idea from?

Do Bible passages or stories come to mind that taught you this or that support it?

Ray Ortlund “As Genesis 1-3 go, so goes the whole Biblical debate.”

Complementarians and Egalitarians Agree (1 Tim 2) – it centers around Gen 1-3 – Egalitarians say that there is no male authority at all until chapter 3, when it comes only as a result of sin – we should fight it

Last week we said Complementarians believe 2 basic truths – Equal in Value, Different in Roles

1. Men and Women are Equal in Value

Gen 1:26-28 – male and female he created THEM – image of God THEM

Vs 26 – let THEM rule

29-31 – Blessing to THEM – they together are the pinnacle of creation

Amid all the stunning perfection of Eden, God says, there is something wrong here.

Gen 2:18

There was one defect in paradise, the man did not have one like him, a helper suitable for him.