0158 Purity Matters (part IV - Courtship)

2nd biggest decision in your life.

The Character of the Man

1. Adam understood his calling in God (Genesis 1:26-28)

Adam understood what he was made for.

How can you lead without a calling?

How can a woman help him if he doesn’t know his own calling? (Blind leading the blind)

A woman should expect a clear vision from her husband

He must demonstrate his desire to walk in his calling before marriage.

2. Adam was also a good worker (Genesis 2:15)

Adam had character and he was a good steward or caretaker.

If a man can not work hard while single how do you expect him to work hard

This trait needs to be strong because if he doesn’t bring much property or money into the marriage he must be willing to work into the marriage.

He must demonstrate the ability to work hard because this is very important when in charge of a family, not a hard worker or willing to work hes not ready for marriage

3. Adam exercised responsibility (Genesis 2:16-17)

This involves obedience. He must understand the concepts such as consequences and disobedience (sowing and reaping)

Adam needs to understand responsibility and accountability to authority.

One of the saddest things today is when a man takes no responsibility for his home’s condition. Of his wife, kids, economically, spiritually or socially.

The sad thing is that these women did not notice this before marrying him.

A man must demonstrate a measure of responsibility in situations before marriage.

4. Adam understood his need for a helpmate (Genesis 2:18-25)

Needs to understand his need for a woman.

If he does not he treats her like a slave.

Needs to want a help mate, cooperation and covenant(contract, agreement)

If a man doesn’t show desire to discuss, and reason, including other points of view, he is not ready for marriage.

5. Adam exercised creativity and individualism in his walk with God

Adam was creative in naming animals and being a steward Woman must see a personal relationship before marriage.

A man must demonstrate a heart for God before. Bridegroom in Hebrew means “circumcised”

The Character of the Woman

1. This woman knows her calling in God.

Eve sees her primary responsibility to serve God.

If a woman does not demonstrate taking care of her own family’s needs as well as the poor and needy around her, she is not ready for marriage.

2. A virtuous woman is known for her diligence.

She does not eat the bread of idleness, gossiping and spending time in things that don’t matter. She is also a Stewart but in the home.

A woman that demonstrates no ability or desire to manage a home business or some kind of productive skill is not ready for marriage.

3. This woman can be trusted.

Her word is law. You can count on her. She also understand reaping and sowing, she can start and finish a task.

A man ought to be careful of a woman who does not demonstrate trustworthiness morally or financially, for she is not fully ready for marriage.

4. A wife sees her need for a husband to protect her.

This protection is spiritual thru her submissive attitude

A woman who seeks no protection, is full of pride and individualism, who puts careers ahead of home and self-glorification ahead of her children, is not prepared for marriage.

You know you love somebody if when meeting their needs is more important than meeting your needs.

Man say women are to be submissive to men!

Up five verses it says submit to each other.

I believe that women want men to be men, they want to be submissive

Women want somebody to be their protector

Ephesians chapter 5

3 or 4 times love your wives

Women will want to be submissive is they truly know the man loves them. Meaning the man honestly is always try to make choices thinking of her first.

If I were you women, I would not consider getting into a relationship with a man who is more Godly than you.

Men, find a godly women, it is true, and behind a great man is a great woman.

Be glad because I’m looking at you. And that’s good news!

5. A virtuous woman exercises inner beauty.

If a woman does not place a priority on inner beauty that is worthy of praise but instead focuses on pleasing people through external appearance alone, she is not ready for marriage.

Pro 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

Find: properly to come forth to, that is, appear or exist

Coin Story (do you pick it up and go home?)

Does it change your path? Where you looking for the quarter?

Men you in BMW and your on the narrow road and all of the sudden a Mercedes, Alora, or

We should forget about trying to find mr and Mrs Right and focus on becoming Mrs. And Mr. Right.

Guys if you found her, why would she want you?

Girl if you want a man a God he won’t be looking for anything else.

You loved the Lord after you found your need for Him.

WANT GODS BEST then give your best to God

Let’s shoot for the best.

Breaking up is hard to do but the more you do it, the easier it is.

Do you want half the youth group to know how your wife kisses?

Guys are attracted by what we see

Girls are attracted by touch and women

I want to marry you because you make me happy, make me happy, you make me happy, no you make me happy.

Savings account (withdrawing, make me happy)

Withdraw until they are empty shells

You want to be (I want to make you happy, no I want to make you happy! ☺

*what you sow you shall reap*

Courtship

I scoffed at this idea when I was your age.

You can choose now to disagree with all I’m about to say.

2 kinds of people, the hard way or the wise way

Courtship is submitting to authority- not what you want but what God wants in your life.

Are you willing to let go if that is what is best for her? It is selfish to seek after a girl if you can not submit to authority.

1Th 4:1 Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to live and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.

1Th 4:2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

1Th 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;

1Th 4:4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

1Th 4:5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1Th 4:6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.

1Th 4:7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.

1Th 4:8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

The difference between dating and courting is on the intent. The reason why you court is with the intention of marriage.

Dating is a romantic linking of a couple simple to enjoy each others company. They are not seriously considering marriage at the moment. (just want to have fun) Imidate pleasure is the whole point.

Courting: is a fathers agreement to work with a qualified young man to win his daughters heart for marriage.

When are you ready to court?

1. Only when both parents approve

2. When both parties are old enough to marry

(Laugh at young girls “ill never married! I don’t have a boy friend”)

82 that start dating at 12 years old will loose their virginity

start dating at 18 its like below 20percent

None of you are in a position to start dating since you are not in a position to finalize it thru marriage.

3. Not get involved until they are financially ready for marriage

(Don’t think when you get married you will have what your parents have)

(When you are both have car payments, and other credit cards ..when you get together you unite the debt) You don’t need that when your getting ready to court

Top 3 causes for divorces

Sex problems

Lack of communication

Money

We will deal with the Ideal

1. A young person seeks God first.

Seek the kingdom of God and all things shall be added. Proverbs, find a wife

If you don’t do number one you already messed up

2. When young man feels God is putting a woman in his life. God puts something in your life.

God told me that you were going to be my woman!

Go to parents to join in prayer for Amy.

Dad doesn’t just pray a small prayer. Watching Amy. Dad knows the kind of woman his son needs. Strengths and witnesses.

If Dad says yes , if not then start over.

Receives blessing

3. Goes to the girls Father and shares with him his intention of marriage!

(girls are victimized, date rape, girls are the ones who get emotionally hurt, my daughter)

Are your intentions honorable? (Are your intentions pure?)

Mr. smith, good to shake in your boots, it will cut down on the girls you date!, ive been praying, noticed you had a wonderful daughter( brown nosing mr. smith)

I have gone in prayer and I wonder if Amy is the one God has made for me… I have prayed with me and parents, I want your permission to see your daughter. I think Amy might be the one who God wants to be my wife. Heavy duty!

Her father pray for this. She knows anything about it? NO! we are causing the man a lot of pain. He better be a man! If your serious you will be willing to do something like this.

If Father doesn’t agree, goes back to zero.

If Dad feels good …

Father shares the intention of young man with daughter.

So she pray fully considers it.

(dad calls her tells her about what Johnny has been asking,. Join in prayer with us,

Amy goes to pray (if she doesn’t pray about it) if she feels sick when she sees him.

Amy doesn’t have to tell Johnny no. Most times they say yes when they really don’t want to!!!

IF she says YES, then you go into step 6.

4. The couple begins to develop the relationship.

Notice the amount of prayer in this process.

Notice the parental involvement (some of that it scares you)

Some are saying that sounds weird!

Then you get to know them and their families. You are the real you in your home.