0363 How Long Are You Going To Mourn

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO MOURN?

Recover from past failures and rejection Cain killed his brother when was rejected by God. Don’t lose peace and brother after you’ve lost favor Esau wanted to kill his brother when rejected by God. Don’t lose life after you’ve lost blessing Saul sought to kill David when rejected by God. Don’t destroy your family after you’ve lost kingdom

1 Samuel 15:35; 16:1

Samuel was rejected by Israel (to old) Samuel relationship with Saul (anointed him, was very close to Saul, mentored him) Samuel’s sons didn’t follow his path

Samuel was mourning for the living Mourning over bad decisions of Saul, Israel and his sons Saul should have been mourning

Father’s reaction toward his son’s bad decision Jesus mourned over Jerusalem David mourned over sickness of child born out of adultery Lot’s wife turned back – the wrong decisions of friends and family

Mourning as the result of feeling of fault Erika and John had a daughter – Casey. “I left my car at the Golden Gate Bride. I’m sorry” My job was to protect her. My words pushed her off that bridge Why did Adam sin? Maybe I should of not put the tree in the garden Why did my son leave? What did I do wrong? It’s my fault that this son is dead David said

Not why but how long My best friends death, grandfathers, grandmothers death Love and prayer not mourning changes people To raise the dead Jesus had to remove mourners from the house

Fill your horn with oil Fill your life with faith and hope and dreams

Go and fulfill your assignment David the greatest king was anointed by Samuel Solomon the wisest king was born after death Jerusalem will be the city of our king Elijah was given new assignment Saul came back

People chose Saul, God chose David Saul from tribe of Benjamin, David from tribe of Judah Saul anointed with, David anointed with horn Saul was anointed as commander, David was anointed as king David was with harp, Saul was with spear The vial was a man-made bowl containing drinking water The horn was taken from an animal the gave its life to produce it

“Casey was in her senior year in high school. She was doing very well in school. Her college plan was coming together. She had a great group of friends, and so outwardly, she certainly seemed to have everything going for her," says Dad of his daughter. But underneath her exterior, he says Casey was a very private person. "She did not reveal a lot about what was going on deep inside her to other people."

"Casey was a deep thinker and very focused. She was more of an introvert," says Mom of her only child. "I think she was very tough on herself and had unreal expectations of herself."

"Casey was certainly very moody, and when she was having one of these mood swings, she wanted to be alone. She didn’t want us to be with her. She didn’t want our help," John shares. "Seventy-five percent of the time, Casey was an absolute delight to be around, and 25 percent of the time, she would go off into a very angry, very dark mood where she was not pleasant to be around."

One week before her death, Casey was grounded as a result of typical teenage behavior. "Casey was talking to both of us in a very rude, disrespectful manner, and this escalated into a shouting match," Dad recalls.

"The only thing that we requested of her is that she be respectful to us. I told her, ‘For the amount of money that we’re going to spend to send you to school, we could take a trip around the world every year,’" Mom remembers. "I came back later on when I thought about what I said and apologized to her, but she didn’t really accept the apologies. I apologized to Casey three times before I went to bed, and those were basically the last things that I said to her."

The next morning, Casey was gone. "I went to Casey’s room to wake her up and I found a note on her desk that said, ‘I left the car in the Golden Gate Bridge parking lot. I’m sorry,'" Dad says. "My mind went into overdrive, and I just thought, don’t let this be what I think it is."

Casey left the keys on the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge. There is videotape footage of her leaving the car, and walking along the bridge, ultimately jumping off the bridge," Dad shares.

"If I had seen any signs, I would have laid in front of her doorway all night so she’d have to trip over me if she left that room," Mom says. "The hardest part for me since Casey committed suicide is knowing that I couldn’t help her."

"I question myself about Casey’s death incessantly. I obsess over guilt. I feel like I played a role in it," Dad reveals. "I still can’t get over the feeling that I might as well have pushed her off that bridge."

Mom said, ‘I felt like I pushed her off the Golden Gate Bridge with our words,’” and ‘I can never forgive myself for not knowing the pain she was in,’

Every day, 89 people commit suicide in the United States, and studies show that more than half of American college students have considered suicide at some point in their lives. This tragic act is the 11th leading cause of death in America 2004, 24 people ended their lives from Golden Gate Bridge