TBO Psalms: When Brothers Dwell in Unity
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Today we are going to talk about friendship. Friends are an important thing throughout Scripture. We see Abraham described as a friend of God. Jesus called His disciples friends. Jesus is described as a friend of sinners and the relationship between believers is referred to by John as a friendship. If we think about it, our friendships can be an act of worship to God. David under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit say unity and friendship as such an important thing he included it in the book of Songs Israel would use in worship for centuries to come.
A song of ascents. Of David. How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony! It is like fine oil on the head, running down on the beard, running down Aaron’s beard onto his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord has appointed the blessing— life forevermore.
Friendship is a wonderful thing. The CSB doesn’t do this statement justice. Hear it in the NASB
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to dwell together in unity!
The friends we choose and the type of friends we are can shape who we are as people. The language David uses in his opening line shows just how rare a genuine friendship is! It is something to be beheld and imitated. Behold! How good! How pleasant!
What kind of friend is the Lord calling me to have and to be? How can we be friends brought together in unity?
A friend who lays down his life
A friend who lays down his life
“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.
Why would Jesus add, “if you do what I have commanded you”?
Friends are proved not just by words but by actions.
It is important to point out as well that the people Jesus calls friends, the ones He lays down His life for, were in fact His enemies. Gospel love is the only thing that can turn an enemy into a friend and thankfully it was that love that Jesus demonstrated for us on the cross.
A friend who lays down their sinful desire
A friend who lays down their sinful desire
What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you? You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and wage war. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. You adulterous people! Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God. Or do you think it’s without reason that the Scripture says: The spirit he made to dwell in us envies intensely? But he gives greater grace. Therefore he says: God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
A friendship with the world means enmity with God
Fruit of friendship with the world: Anger, coveting, strife, quarreling, unpleasant speech, immorality (How do each of these effect friendship)
Sometimes we become so concerned about how we can fit in with the world around us we forget about how we can fit into God’s redemptive story.
A friendship unified in Christ is a very good and pleasant thing
Friendship with God means time spent with Him in Scripture and conversation
Friendship with God means beginning to look like Him
Fruit of friendship to God: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Talk about how each of these effects friendships
James understands that we have been poor friends to God and to others around us. He calls us to repent, turn from our sin, and put our desires in Christ. As we learn to be good friends we need to cleanse our hands, mourn, weep. There needs to be a season of humility where we realize we need to grow and change in our friendships. Nobody here is a perfect friend. Not to God and not to those around us. It is a healthy thing being able to take a step back and constructively work on our relationships.
A friend who stays through thick and thin
A friend who stays through thick and thin
bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.
We all need friends that can be there for us when we go through difficult circumstances. If you look at the story of Job, he went through incredible loss. As he sat their mourning his family and mourning his condition, his friends showed up. Job’s friends condemned him and were not comforting to Job in his adversity. He needed good friends to encourage him and help him, not to be critical of him.
A friend is made by the things they have in common
A friend is made by the things they have in common
“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."
... It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision - it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.”
If there is any truth in this quote by C.S. Lewis, that means we as Christians should be the deepest of friends. If friendships are brought together by two people sharing something in common we as Christians who were all dead in our sin until Christ freed us and gave us new life should have everything in common. All of us from different families, different backgrounds, different talents and abilities all brought together under one banner. This type of relationship was used to describe the early church in Acts chapter 2
Now all the believers were together and held all things in common.
It wouldn’t take long for there to be conflict and disagreements, but for a moment the church was focused on Christ and what He had accomplished in their lives. This is the goal of the church as a body. To be unified and indivisible. Focused on Christ and Christ crucified.
Charles Spurgeon in his commentary on the Psalms says that Christian friendships are a blessing when they are united in opinion, affection, and duty. When we begin to think, love and act like Christ there is nothing that can stop the church in its mission.
Precious Oil
Precious Oil
It is like fine oil on the head, running down on the beard, running down Aaron’s beard onto his robes.
A friend that brings honor and consecration
Oil had several uses in ancient Israel. For David it was what Samuel used to recognize him as king. Oil was used in Exodus 29 to consecrate Aaron and the priests into service to Israel.
Easton’s Bible Dictionary Consecration
CONSECRATION—the devoting or setting apart of anything to the worship or service of God.
Within the ceremony of consecration for the high priest, oil was used on the head. Ceremonially there needed only to be a ceremonial sprinkling of oil. Yet, David here describes the oil being poured out over Aaron’s head. The blessings of a unified friendship are this way. They aren’t sprinkled conservatively in our lives, the blessings of friendship are poured out and run into every aspect of our lives, from Aaron’s beard to his shoulders.
Friendships are earthly symbols of an eternal reality
Aaron a symbol of God’s relationship with man. Here is Aaron serving as priest and intercessor to God on behalf of the people. For David that was a beautiful thing. Here is the God of the universe having a relationship with His people through Aaron. Fast forward to today, we have no need for Aaron. We have a friendship with God and can go to Him directly. Have you ever viewed your relationships as a symbol for your relationship with Jesus? I think about this a lot when it comes to my marriage. Paul in Ephesians talks about the relationship with a man and his wife in comparison to Christ and His bride the church. Just as the church follows Christ wives are called to submit to their husbands. Likewise, just as Jesus loved the church and gave His life for the church husbands are called to love and lay down their lives for their spouse. If our marriages are symbols of our relationship with Christ could it be that our friendships are as well? The way we laugh, and share our insecurities, and care for our friends. Could it be that that is a picture of what we could have with Christ and will have with Christ for all eternity? If we begin to think through our friendships that way we will find that we don’t know how to be friends at all. What if my friendships were reflections of my friendship with Christ? Would we talk about the same things? Would we make the same jokes? What if my friendship with Christ was like my friendship with people? Would I spend more time in prayer talking with God? Would there be more joy in my relationship with Him?
Good friends lift up and respect
There is great honor and privilege that comes with being called friend. It is a position that holds great significance. There is a level of trust that needs to be maintained and a need for support and affection. We often talk about the words we use. Our words can build others up or tear them down. As friends we should use our words constructively to be a blessing and source of encouragement to others around us. Barnabas gives us a great example of this in the book of Acts. Paul was a very passionate, serious, and focused man. He was persecuted by those outside the faith and at times distrusted by those inside the faith. Barnabas came alongside Paul and cared for him and encouraged him as a friend. Likewise we see Aquila and Priscilla come alongside Apollos in Ephesus. They help him understand the power of the Gospel and encourage and send him out to go and minister to the people in Achaia. Good friends can make a huge difference in God’s kingdom.
Good friends lead others to holiness and Christlikeness
Like a priest in the Old Testament, friendships should lead people into the presence of God. They say bad company corrupts good morals, well good company should encourage good morals. This doesn’t mean that you have to have a Bible study every time you hang out with your friends but it does mean that when you are together God is honored in all you do.
Dew of Hermon
Dew of Hermon
It is like the dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord has appointed the blessing— life forevermore.
A friend that brings growth and refreshment
Without dew the trees provide no shade, growth, or fruit
Critical friendships lead to burn out and withering. Dew brings a cool to the arid world
The dew of Hermon contributed to the greater ecosystem of Israel. The water that flowed from Hermon would fill the Sea of Galilee and the Jordan providing water down through Israel.
Unified from top to bottom
Mt. Hermon marked the northern border of Israel while Zion or Jerusalem was further south in the kingdom. This unity would be lost in Israel as the kingdom would be split in half with the northern kingdom becoming Israel and the southern kingdom becoming Judah.
Friendships are a blessing. They are a sense of life and protection in times when our lives may be in danger.
David and Jonathan
David and Jonathan
When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as much as he loved himself. Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. David marched out with the army and was successful in everything Saul sent him to do. Saul put him in command of the fighting men, which pleased all the people and Saul’s servants as well. As the troops were coming back, when David was returning from killing the Philistine, the women came out from all the cities of Israel to meet King Saul, singing and dancing with tambourines, with shouts of joy, and with three-stringed instruments. As they danced, the women sang: Saul has killed his thousands, but David his tens of thousands. Saul was furious and resented this song. “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?” So Saul watched David jealously from that day forward.
David and Jonathan were immediately friends. They had a lot in common. Both trusted the Lord and risked their lives in defending Israel. They bound together not by a romantic love but a familial love. They were brothers. Jonathan cared for David like a little brother and gave him his robe, military tunic, sword, bow, and belt. Jonathan loved David sacrificial and David thrived under this new context. He became so successful that the people loved him and celebrated him for all he was accomplishing. All except Saul. Saul grew jealous of David to the point that he was ready to kill him.
The next day an evil spirit sent from God came powerfully on Saul, and he began to rave inside the palace. David was playing the lyre as usual, but Saul was holding a spear, and he threw it, thinking, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David got away from him twice.
David not only managed to dodge a spear once but he did it twice!
Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with David but had left Saul. Therefore, Saul sent David away from him and made him commander over a thousand men. David led the troops and continued to be successful in all his activities because the Lord was with him. When Saul observed that David was very successful, he dreaded him. But all Israel and Judah loved David because he was leading their troops. Saul told David, “Here is my oldest daughter Merab. I’ll give her to you as a wife if you will be a warrior for me and fight the Lord’s battles.” But Saul was thinking, “I don’t need to raise a hand against him; let the hand of the Philistines be against him.” Then David responded, “Who am I, and what is my family or my father’s clan in Israel that I should become the king’s son-in-law?” When it was time to give Saul’s daughter Merab to David, she was given to Adriel the Meholathite as a wife.
Saul really did not like David. Saul tried to marry off his daughter to David but David was unwilling. He lived in humility. Being a son of the king was too much for David he still saw himself as a commoner. Saul persisted and offered him his other daughter Michal. David again acted in humility. David was worried about the bride price. So Saul offered his daughter at the cost of 100 Philistines. David responded by killing 200. Saul became afraid of David and was against him from then on. Saul went after David and tried to get Jonathan to help him. Jonathan tried to reason with his father but Saul persisted. Saul tried to kill David with a spear again! He also had soldiers try to kill David at his house while he slept but Michal helped David out the window and put a statue under the covers with goat fur on its head to convince people that David was sleeping. David ended up running away to Samuel’s home in Ramah. Saul continued to dispatch men to capture David but as they came into Ramah they began to prophesy uncontrollably. Even Saul when he came down took off all his clothes and began to prophesy. With each event David’s friends step in and help him along the way. Jonathan pleads with Saul, Michal tries to cover for him, and Samuel protects him in Ramah.
David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What did I do wrong? How have I sinned against your father so that he wants to take my life?” Jonathan said to him, “No, you won’t die. Listen, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without telling me. So why would he hide this matter from me? This can’t be true.” But David said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor with you. He has said, ‘Jonathan must not know of this, or else he will be grieved.’ ” David also swore, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, there is but a step between me and death.” Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.” So David told him, “Look, tomorrow is the New Moon, and I’m supposed to sit down and eat with the king. Instead, let me go, and I’ll hide in the countryside for the next two nights. If your father misses me at all, say, ‘David urgently requested my permission to go quickly to his hometown, Bethlehem, for an annual sacrifice there involving the whole clan.’ If he says, ‘Good,’ then your servant is safe, but if he becomes angry, you will know he has evil intentions. Deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought me into a covenant with you before the Lord. If I have done anything wrong, then kill me yourself; why take me to your father?” “No!” Jonathan responded. “If I ever find out my father has evil intentions against you, wouldn’t I tell you about it?” So David asked Jonathan, “Who will tell me if your father answers you harshly?” He answered David, “Come on, let’s go out to the countryside.” So both of them went out to the countryside. “By the Lord, the God of Israel, I will sound out my father by this time tomorrow or the next day. If I find out that he is favorable toward you, will I not send for you and tell you? If my father intends to bring evil on you, may the Lord punish Jonathan and do so severely if I do not tell you and send you away so you may leave safely. May the Lord be with you, just as he was with my father. If I continue to live, show me kindness from the Lord, but if I die, don’t ever withdraw your kindness from my household—not even when the Lord cuts off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.” Then Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord hold David’s enemies accountable.” Jonathan once again swore to David in his love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself. Then Jonathan said to him, “Tomorrow is the New Moon; you’ll be missed because your seat will be empty. The following day hurry down and go to the place where you hid on the day this incident began and stay beside the rock Ezel. I will shoot three arrows beside it as if I’m aiming at a target. Then I will send a servant and say, ‘Go and find the arrows!’ Now, if I expressly say to the servant, ‘Look, the arrows are on this side of you—get them,’ then come, because as the Lord lives, it is safe for you and there is no problem. But if I say this to the youth, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you!’ then go, for the Lord is sending you away. As for the matter you and I have spoken about, the Lord will be a witness between you and me forever.” So David hid in the countryside. At the New Moon, the king sat down to eat the meal. He sat at his usual place on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat facing him and Abner took his place beside Saul, but David’s place was empty. Saul did not say anything that day because he thought, “Something unexpected has happened; he must be ceremonially unclean—yes, that’s it, he is unclean.” However, the day after the New Moon, the second day, David’s place was still empty, and Saul asked his son Jonathan, “Why didn’t Jesse’s son come to the meal either yesterday or today?” Jonathan answered, “David asked for my permission to go to Bethlehem. He said, ‘Please let me go because our clan is holding a sacrifice in the town, and my brother has told me to be there. So now, if I have found favor with you, let me go so I can see my brothers.’ That’s why he didn’t come to the king’s table.” Then Saul became angry with Jonathan and shouted, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you are siding with Jesse’s son to your own shame and to the disgrace of your mother? Every day Jesse’s son lives on earth you and your kingship are not secure. Now send for him and bring him to me—he must die!” Jonathan answered his father back, “Why is he to be killed? What has he done?” Then Saul threw his spear at Jonathan to kill him, so he knew that his father was determined to kill David. He got up from the table fiercely angry and did not eat any food that second day of the New Moon, for he was grieved because of his father’s shameful behavior toward David. In the morning Jonathan went out to the countryside for the appointed meeting with David. A young servant was with him. He said to the servant, “Run and find the arrows I’m shooting.” As the servant ran, Jonathan shot an arrow beyond him. He came to the location of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, but Jonathan called to him and said, “The arrow is beyond you, isn’t it?” Then Jonathan called to him, “Hurry up and don’t stop!” Jonathan’s servant picked up the arrow and returned to his master. He did not know anything; only Jonathan and David knew the arrangement. Then Jonathan gave his equipment to the servant who was with him and said, “Go, take it back to the city.” When the servant had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell facedown to the ground, and paid homage three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more. Jonathan then said to David, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the Lord when we said, ‘The Lord will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.’ ” Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city.