0861 Relationship Goals - 4 Lessons to Greater Marriage

4 Lessons to Greater Marriage - MESSAGE Relationship Goals - SERIES February 17, 2018 DATE

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (vs 22) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. (vs 25) Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Mans primary needs: honor and respect, sex, shared activity and support at home

Woman's primary need: security, non sexual affection, honest communication and leadership

1. Marriage is like triangle! The closer both people get to God they closer they come to each other.

Commitment to God must be stronger than commitment to each other.

Don’t let passive spouse hinder your passion for God

Don’t nag, push, blame or preach to a passive spouse

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” 1 Peter 3:1-2

Your spouse is like a tree, it will not grow when you pull it. Water it instead and be patient.

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2. Catch the foxes! Before you win in marriage, marriage has to win in your mind.

Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes. Song of Solomon 2:15

Little foxes are thoughts like “I have made a mistake”, “I should of married someone else”, “I am miserable” “I have to leave before it’s too late”.

Don’t vocalize demonic thoughts or they will take root in your mind.

Burn the bridge to your ex and the past.

Remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary during difficult time in your marriage.

3. Choose to cheat! Don’t cheat on your marriage with work and hobbies. But you say, “Whoever says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”— then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Matthew 15:5-6

Don’t give to God what belongs to your family

“You love your family in your heart, but you don't love them in your schedule. And they can't see your heart. Nobody gets to the end of his life and wishes he had spent more time at the office.” Andy Stanley

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” Bryan Dyson

“I will never get finished everything I need to get done today. I will always miss something everyday. Never let it be the same thing twice. Touch everything but hold nothing to long. If you have to hold it to have it, you’re not hiring the right people.” TD Jakes “A person who stays late at the office is not a hardworking person, instead he is a fool who does not know how to manage work within stipulated time. He is inefficient and incompetent in his work.” Dr Abdul Kalam (President of India, Author, Scientist)

Practical tips: - Spend 15 minutes a day in a meaningful conversion. - Spend 1 evening a week on a date. - Go on a 7 day vacation once a year.

4. Fight like Pro

Marriage is either a street fight with no rules or a fight like a boxer in the ring.

“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Ephesians 5:26-27

Don’t go to sleep angry, stay up and fight!

Complain instead criticizing. Complaining is how I feel, criticism is attack the other person.

Avoid bringing the past into the present.

Avoid using words “NEVER” and “ALWAYS” or cursing.

Raising your voice or hands is not good. How to fight like a pro? - Non sexual physical touch - Sarcasm is a big no. - Validate her feelings, don’t shame her for them. - Acknowledge your fault. - Promise to do better.