Be Preferential

One of my main jobs while I was volunteering with Supply and Multiply during the six months I spent in Haiti in 2018 was to work with short-term mission teams as they served with us for a week or two — and sometimes as long as a month at a stretch.

I would help them plan their days in country, give them options about how and where they could serve, coordinate their days with our Haitian staff, help them find basic medical supplies as needed, and — to whatever extent it was possible — just generally make sure that they had a positive and spiritually rewarding experience in Haiti.

Sometimes that meant helping someone to process the things they’d seen and done during the day; sometimes, it meant explaining why they shouldn’t wander off on their own; and sometimes it meant helping to identify some strange new rash.

All very glamorous, as you can imagine.

But that work gave me a chance to get to know just about everybody who came to serve with us in the town of Montrouis. And it sometimes put me in a unique position to be able to evaluate a person’s maturity in the faith.

As it turns out, one of the situations when spiritual maturity reveals itself most clearly is at the dinner table.

Now, to explain what I mean, I need you to understand what dinner looked like when we had short-term teams visiting with us.

Usually, there would be eight to 12 people on these teams, but they could be as large as 20.

And we had only a very small area where they could serve themselves before sitting around the picnic table or in chairs or hammocks to eat their food.

So, we set up a short buffet line, and folks would file through, putting rice with beans, fried plantains, bread, and pickliz (which is a very spicy sort of pickled slaw) on their plates.

Once in a while, there were chicken legs from the scrawniest chickens you could imagine, and on a very few occasions, there might be sliced tomatoes.

But by and large, the menu was rice and beans, plantains, bread, and pickliz. We kept jars of peanut butter nearby that had been brought from the U.S. to help supplement the protein that we needed for energy.

Aside from that, the greatest expense was for the rice, because it was American rice that was bought from various sources. you see, Haitian rice normally includes small stones and requires some skill to eat without breaking teeth.

So, the ladies who cooked our meals would bring out a big bowl of rice and set it down on the counter outside, beside a plate of fried plantain slices, and a small bowl of pickliz, and then everybody would line up to serve themselves.

And the first thing I would watch for would be who would get in line first. Occasionally, a group would insist that I go first, but I normally stood far enough away to keep that from happening.

What I wanted to see was whether there would be one or two people who seemed always to be at the front of the line.

And then, what I would look for would be people walking away with plates heaped to the brim.

You could tell that some folks were used to Golden Corral or church potlucks, where there seems to be a limitless supply of food.

They’d heap rice onto their plates, grab a couple of chicken legs, scatter some plantain slices on their plates and then load up on pickliz and head off to find a seat.

Those were the people I knew we would have to work closely with to help them grow a bit more spiritually mature.

Usually, it took only a couple of times for the food to run out before everyone had been fed for them to get the message that this was a limited resource.

And the lesson that pickliz is delicious in small quantities but dangerous in excess was one that EVERYBODY learned after one encounter with it.

Now, we might all agree that taking a little food from the buffet until you’re sure everybody has been fed is simply good manners.

But when I look at the Apostle Paul’s 13 imperatives for the church in Romans, chapter 12, what I recognize is that there’s a spiritual component to what we might simply call good manners.

The spiritual imperative or command that Paul has for Christians in today’s installment of this series surely implies having good table manners, but it goes well beyond that.

Let’s read the passage together, and then we’ll take a look at this week’s particular instruction.

Romans 12:9–13 NASB95

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; 11 not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

Now, you may recall that we have said everything in this passage flows out of Paul’s first two commands here: Let love be without hypocrisy and abhor what is evil.

Indeed the command to love genuinely is a sort of lens through which all the other imperatives here come into focus.

We detest evil, in part, because we love others and want the best for them and know that sin will interfere with what is good in their lives.

In turning from evil, we understand that it is necessary to turn TO what is good, to cling to it as if our lives depended upon it, because the abundant life that Jesus promised for His followers does, indeed, depend upon clinging to what is good while rejecting evil.

And as we love one another genuinely, we learn to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. We learn to cherish one another as brothers and sisters in the family of God.

Today, we’re going to talk about the next of these 13 imperatives — give preference to one another in honor.

Now, the first thing to understand about this command is that the Greek verb translated as “give preference” appears nowhere else in Scripture.

And even outside of Scripture, scholars have had trouble finding other places where it’s used in a similar way as it is here. Because of that, it’s hard to translate.

The literal definition is “to go first and lead the way.” What makes things more complicated is the order of words as they appear in the Greek.

The seven words we have in this English translation are only four words in the Greek. So, the literal translation would be something like this: In honor, one another first.

Some translations have this clause as “be eager to show respect for one another.” Others have “let each man consider the other worthy of more honor than himself.” Others, something like “outdo one another in showing honor.”

And there are certainly fine distinctions among all those possible translations. But the general thought seems to be the same.

“Paul is telling the Romans not to push for first place for themselves; they are to seek honor for one another rather than for themselves.” [Leon Morris, The Epistle to the Romans, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans; Inter-Varsity Press, 1988), 445.]

In other words, don’t try to be the first in line at the buffet.

But, as I said earlier, the command he is giving Christians here goes well beyond simple good manners. And, as we might expect, things become a little clearer when we look at this command through the lens of the first imperative of this passage: Let love be without hypocrisy.

Genuine love — the agape love of verse 9 — is characterized by humility. It is only in humility that we can set aside our own rights — our own desire for love to be reciprocated — and CHOOSE to love others, regardless of whether that love is returned to us, separate from any emotional feeling we might or might not have.

Paul talks about this kind of humility-empowered love in his letter to the church at Philippi. In chapter 2 of that letter, he encourages the people of that church to approach their relationships with one another with the same attitude that Jesus had. Look at verse 5.

Philippians 2:5–6 NASB95

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,

From all eternity, God has existed in three persons — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. They are distinct from one another but share the same substance and character.

What Paul is saying here is that Jesus was of equal station, position, honor, and power as God. He had every right to be revered and worshiped and loved AS GOD.

But He didn’t assert those rights. Instead, He set aside his station, His honor, and His power, and as we see in verse 7, He....

Philippians 2:7 NASB95

7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

He laid aside His rights and privileges as God so that He could come to us as a human. And even in His humanity, He didn’t choose to be King or a ruler, but rather a servant.

And that’s what marked His life and ministry here on earth. He was certainly a great teacher, and He had followers, as any great teacher might. But unlike the teachers of His time, Jesus served those who followed Him.

He healed the sick, He raised the dead, He fed the hungry. He washed His disciples’ feet. But His greatest act of service — and His supreme act of humility — was the one Paul describes in verse 8.

It was in humility that the sinless Jesus Christ gave Himself as a sacrifice at the cross, taking upon Himself our sins and the just punishment for them so that all who believe in Him would be saved.

Jesus had the right to call down a legion of angels to lift Him from the cross. He had the right to call down fire and brimstone from heaven to consume those who had crucified Him.

But it was only by bearing God’s full and just punishment for sin — for your sins and for my sins — that the debt we owe God for our rebellion against Him could be paid.

And so, Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death so that all who put their faith in Him could be saved through HIS blood. So that we who follow Him in faith can one day stand before God clothed in HIS righteousness. He lowered Himself so that WE could be lifted up. That’s what Paul says in verse 8.

Philippians 2:8 NASB95

8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

And so, looking back with all this in mind at the imperative from Romans, chapter 12, genuine love takes the position of humility when it comes to relationships.

Genuine love sets aside my desire to be the first in line. Genuine love says, “No, you go first.” Genuine love looks at that big bowl of rice and beans and says, “I’m hungry, but I’ll bet that person is hungrier.”

And remember that this is about more than simple good manners. This is about more than who gets into the buffet line first and how much food they put on their plate.

“In honor, one another, first.”

We can certainly infer that one of the situations to which this command implies is the buffet line, but Paul’s bigger point here is about honor.

The Greek word that’s translated as “honor” here was one that dealt with prices. It means “the amount at which something is valued.” So, we’re talking about value when we talk about honor.

Indeed, we might even translate the imperative like this: Value one another best.

The idea is that the Christian should no longer value himself or herself higher than everything else.

That’s what the world tells us to do. The world says, “Look out for No. 1.” But Jesus said:

Luke 9:23 NET

23 Then he said to them all, “If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Do you want to be a true Jesus-follower? It starts with denying yourself. From a salvation standpoint, that means giving up the thought that you can somehow earn your way into heaven.

That you can somehow stand before a perfectly righteous and holy God on your own supposed “merits.” That you deserve anything short of God’s condemnation.

From a salvation standpoint, denying yourself means trusting completely and exclusively in Jesus for the future of your eternal soul in faith that He will keep His promise of eternal life for those who follow Him.

And from the standpoint of Christian relationships, denying myself means that my first priority is no longer me, but the Kingdom of God, which is characterized by love and humility and self-sacrifice.

From the standpoint of Christian relationships, denying myself means that I place a higher value on your needs than I do on my own desires or, perhaps, even my own needs.

It means that when I see you, I should see someone who is worthy of greater honor than myself.

That’s not to say that we pretend everyone else is “more gifted” or wiser or more able than we are. That wouldn’t be GENUINE love, now would it?

What it means is that if we are infused with the proper humility about ourselves, we will, in our humility, look at others as more important than ourselves.

That’s what Paul says in the second chapter of Philippians:

Philippians 2:3 NASB95

3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

And the interesting thing about this to me is how it connects back to what I said about Paul’s imperative in verse 9: Abhor what is evil.

You may remember that I said I think this command is primarily directed inward. In other words, Paul is calling us to detest the sins we find in ourselves the most.

This was the picture Jesus painted of the tax collector in the temple, beating his breast and crying out, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner!” This is the picture that Paul paints of himself in Romans, chapter 7, when he writes, “Wretched man that I am!”

If we are primarily focused on detesting the evil that remains within each of us, even as followers of Jesus, then it will be very hard for us NOT to regard others as better than ourselves.

So, in truth, the imperative we have looked at today comes into focus through both the lens of genuine love AND the lens of genuine hatred.

Genuine, agape love for one another ENABLES us to give preference to one another in honor.

And a genuine hatred for evil in our own lives will make it impossible NOT to consider brothers and sisters in Christ as deserving of more honor than we deserve for ourselves.

The problem for us is that this all flies in the face of everything we’ve ever been taught by the lost world. Remember, the lost world says, “Look out for No. 1.”

And Christians have struggled to get past that teaching from the time of Jesus.

The disciples argued over who should sit at the right hand of Jesus. HE told them to wash one another’s feet.

The churches in Rome and Philippi clearly hadn’t gotten the message, or the Holy Spirit wouldn’t have found it necessary to remind them through the words of Paul that we’ve studied today.

Same with the church in Ephesus. Paul wrote to them:

Ephesians 5:21 NASB95

21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Same with the church in Galatia. Here’s what Paul said to them:

Galatians 5:13 NASB95

13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Same with the churches of East Asia, to whom Peter wrote this:

1 Peter 5:5 NASB95

5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

And this is pretty much what the whole Book of 1 Corinthians is about, so that church CERTAINLY had a problem with this doctrine.

Everybody likes to be honored. But for the Christian, being honored should feel a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit awkward, maybe even a little painful.

It should feel uncomfortable, because we we know that all honor and glory belongs to God. It should feel awkward, because we know who we really are apart from Christ. It should feel painful to be in the spotlight, because we believe others are far more deserving of it.

We should feel a lot more comfortable honoring OTHERS than being honored. We should feel a lot more comfortable HONORING others than honoring ourselves.

I love it when I have to insist that someone go first during potluck luncheons here, because what I’m seeing is people honoring others above themselves.

I love it when I see leftover food at the end — not just because we brought far too much food for everyone, but because folks took less than they wanted to make sure that everyone got something.

I always hated what it said about the missionary groups in Haiti when the food ran out and yet we found uneaten food on plates in the trash cans.

Let us truly be people who outdo one another in honor. Let us be people who demonstrate that we cherish brothers and sisters in Christ by submitting to one another and serving one another in genuine humility and love.

Nobody who ever visited a church decided not to come back because the people there were all too humble.

Nobody who ever visited a church decided not to come back because the people there were too eager to serve them.

Nobody who ever visited a church decided not to come back because the people there loved them genuinely.

Let us be known for genuine humility that springs from a desire to be like Jesus, who humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Let us be known for our laser focus on the sins within our own lives. Let us be known for lowering ourselves so that we can lift others up. More than elaborate lights and energetic music and even inspirational speaking, THESE things will be what God uses to grow this church.

Let’s pray.

Today is Lord’s Supper Sunday.

It’s a time for we who have followed Jesus in faith to remember His sacrificial death on our behalf and in our place by partaking of the bread and juice of the grape in the manner He commanded.

It’s a time for us to remember and celebrate the agape love He showed us at the cross.

Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper in the upper room in Jerusalem, where He ate with His disciples on the night of his arrest, before He was crucified the next day.

He told them to repeat this observance to help them remember what He was about to do for them and for us.

This is a memorial observation. We do this, in part, to help us remember the great price Jesus paid for our salvation and also to remember that He will return in His resurrected body to take home with Him we who have followed Him in faith.

Paul wrote that we also do this also to proclaim the good news of salvation.

Our participation in the Lord’s Supper portrays the message of the gospel — the good news that God Himself came to us in the person of His unique and eternal Son, Jesus.

That He lived a sinless life as a man so we could see what perfect obedience and fellowship with God looks like.

That He gave Himself as a sacrifice on the cross, taking upon Himself the guilt for OUR sins and bearing the punishment that we deserve for them.

And, finally, that He rose from the dead on the third day, demonstrating His victory over death itself and His ability to keep His promise of eternal life for those who follow Him in faith.

This is what we proclaim to the lost world when we partake in the Lord’s Supper.

This observance is for those who have committed themselves to Jesus and have demonstrated that commitment in believers’ baptism. If you have taken those steps, then I invite you to join us in this observance today.

Now, the conditions during the Last Supper were different than the conditions we have here today, but the significance of their observance was the same as it is today.

While the deacons are distributing the bread and juice, I’m going to ask Andy to play Amazing Grace. After that, we will pray and then eat the bread.

SONG/ELEMENTS

Jesus told His disciples that the bread represented His body, which would be broken for our transgressions.

Let us pray.

Matthew 26:26 NASB95

26 While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.”

As Jesus suffered and died on that cross, his blood poured out with His life. This was always God’s plan to reconcile mankind to Himself.

“In [Jesus] we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us.”

Let us pray.

Matthew 26:27–28 NASB95

27 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; 28 for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins.

Take and drink.

“Now, as often as we eat this bread and drink the cup, we proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.”

Maranatha! Lord, come!

Here at Liberty Spring, we have a tradition following our observance of the Lord’s Supper.

Please gather around in a circle, and let us sing together “Blest Be the Tie that Binds.”