Family Of Victors

Colossians

Faith in Jesus Christ not only changes individuals;

(it also changes homes./In this section, Paul ad-

dressed himself to family members: husbands and

wives, children, and household servants. It seems

clear that these persons being addressed were be-

levers since the apostle appealed to all of them

to live to please Jesus Christ.

Something is radically wrong with homes today.

The last report I saw indicated that in America

there are now more broken homes than ever, with

one divorce for every two marriages. Single parent

families are on the increase. Over half of all mothers

are now working outside the home, and many of

them have small children. The average American

child from 6 to 16 watches from 20 to 24 hours of

television each week and is greatly influenced by

what he sees. The "battered child" syndrome continues to increase, with from 2 to 4 million cases being reported annually, and many not reported at all.

The first institution God founded on earth was

the home (Gen. 2:18-25; Matt. 19:1-6). As goes the home, so goes society and the nation. The

breakdown of the home is a sign of the end times (2 Tim. 3:1-5). Centuries ago Confucius said, "The

strength of a nation is derived from the integrity of its homes." One of the greatest things we can

do as individuals is help to build godly Christian homes. Paul addressed the various members of the

family and pointed out the ingredients that make for a strong and godly home.

Husbands and Wives: Love and Submission (Col. 3:18-19)

Paul did not address the wives first because they were the neediest! (The Gospel radically changed

the position of women in the Roman world. It gave them a new freedom and stature that some of them

were unable to handle,)and for this reason Paul admonished them. (Similar admonitions are in Eph.

5:18 and 1 Peter 3:1f.) We must not think of submission as "slavery "subjugation." The word comes from the military vocabulary and simply means

"to arrange under rank." The fact that one soldier is a private and

another is a colonel does not mean that one man is necessarily better than the other. It only means that they have different ranks.

God does all things "decently and in order" that the woman is to submit to her husband does not suggest that the man is better than the woman. It only means that the man has the responsibility of headship and leadership in the home. Headship is not dictatorship or lordship. It is loving leadership. In fact, both the husband and the wife must be submitted to the Lord and to each

other (Eph. 5:21). It is a mutual respect under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

True spiritual submission is the secret of growth and fulfillment. When a Christian woman is submitted to the Lord and to her own husband, she experiences a release and fulfillment that she can

have in no other way. This mutual love and sub- mission creates an atmosphere of growth in the home that enables both the husband and the wife to become all that God wants them to be.

The fact that the Christian wife is "in the Lord" is not an excuse for selfish independence. Tust the

opposite is true, for her salvation makes it important pinstridi is erne tinat i Jesus Chime there is neither

male nor female" (Gal. 3:28),) it is also true that joyful submission is an evidence that the wife

belongs to Jesus Christ. However, the husband has the responsibility of

loving his wife; and the word for "love" used here in aroma it in sanitori A wains d mo, that no witt

normal, human, romantic love, but it must grow deeper into the spiritual agape love that comes only

from God. In the parallel passage (Eph. 5:18f), Paul made it clear that the husband must love his

wife "even as Christ loved the church." Jesus Christ gave His all for the church! He willingly died for

us! The measure of a man's love for his wife is not seen only in gifts or words, but in acts of sacrifice

and concern for her happiness and welfare. , Paul added a special word of warning for the

husbands: "and be not bitter against them" (Col 3:19). Husbands must be careful not to harbor

ill-will toward their wives because of something they did or did not do. A "root of bitterness" in a

home can poison the marriage relationship and give Satan a foothold (Heb. 12:15; Eph. 4:31).

The Christian husband and wife must be open and honest with each other and not hide their feelings

or lie to one another. "Speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) is a good way to solve family differences. "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath" is a wise policy to follow if you want to have a

happy home (Eph. 4:26). A husband who truly loves his wife will not

behave harshly or try to throw his weight around in the home.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does

not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not

rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Cor. 13:4-5

1 Corinthians 13:4–5 KJV 1900

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

(A wife really has little difficulty submitting to her husband is seen in her submission to him.)

(where there are sacrifice and submission, in an atmosphere of love, you will find a happy home)

A happy marriage does not come automatically; it is something that must be worked at all the time.

As we walk with Christ in submission to Him, we have no problem submitting to one another and

seeking to serve one another. But where there is selfishness, there will be conflict and division. If

there is bitterness in the heart, there will eventually

be trouble in the home. Where do we get the power to love and to sub-

mit? From the Lord. If we are wearing the

"grace clothes" described earlier (Col. 3:5-14), and if we

have our hearts filled with the peace of Christ and the Word of Christ, then we will contribute to

the joy and harmony of the home. If we live to please Christ first, others second, and ourselves last,

we will build strong marriages and spiritual homes. Parents and Children: Encouragement

and Obedience (Col. 3:20-21)

There were children in these Christian homes, and

Paul addressed part of his letter to them. The

normal result of marriage is the bearing of children,

and fortunate are those children who are born into

Christian homes where there is love and submis-

sion. "Be fruitful and multiply" was God's order to

our first parents (Gen. 1:28), and this order was

given before man sinned. The marriage relationship

getting and bearing of children, the husband and

wife share in the creative activity of God.

A great deal is being said about the rights of

children, and they do have rights. One of them is

the right to be born. Another is the right to be born

into a dedicated Christian home where they will be

raised in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord"

(Eph. 6:4). They have the right to have godly par-

ents who will teach them the Word of God and

discipline them in love.

John H. Starkey was a violent British criminal.

He murdered his own wife, then was convicted for

the crime and executed. The officials asked General

William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, to

conduct Starkey's funeral. Booth faced as ugly and

mean a crowd'as he had ever seen in his life, but

his first words stopped them and held them: "John

H. Starkey never had a praying mother!"

Children have rights, but they also have responsibilities; and their foremost responsibility is

to obey. They are to obey "in all things" and not simply in those things that please themselves. Will

their parents ever ask them to do something that is

Wrong? Not if the parents are submitted to the

Lord and to one another, and not if they love each

other and their children.

The child who does not learn to obey his parents

is not likely to grow up obeying any authority. He

will defy his teachers, the police, his employers,

and anyone else who tries to exercise authority over

him. The breakdown in authority in our society

reflects the breakdown of authority in the home.

For the most part, children do not create prob-

lems; they reveal them. Parents who cannot dis-

cipline themselves cannot discipline their children.

If a father and mother are not under authority

themselves, they cannot exercise authority over

others. It is only as parents submit to each other

and to the Lord that they can exercise properly

balanced spiritual and physical authority over their

children.

The measure of the child's obedience is

"all

things"; and the motive is to please the Lord. It is

possible to please the parents and not please the

Lord, if the parents are not yielded to the Lord,

The family that lives in an atmosphere of love and

truth, that reads the Word of God, and that prays

together, will have an easier time discovering God's

will and pleasing the Lord.

The word fathers in verse 21 could be translated

"parents," as it is in Hebrews 11:23. Paul made it

"parents,

clear that parents must make it as easy as possible

for children to obey.

A Family Andir/da

(Col. 3:21

Colossians 3:21 KJV 1900

21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

is a commandment to parents, and how

often it is disobeyed! Too often, parents automatically say no when their children ask for something,

when the parents should listen carefully and evaluate each request. Parents often change their minds and create problems for their children, sometimes

by swinging from extreme permissiveness to extreme legalism.

Fathers and mothers should encourage their

children, not discourage them. One of the most

important things parents can do is spend time with

their children. A survey in one town indicated that

fathers spent only 37 seconds a day with their small

sons! It is an encouragement for children to know

that their parents, as busy as they are, take time-

make time--to be with them.

Parents also need to listen and be patient as

their children talk to them. A listening ear and a

loving heart always go together.

"You took time to have me," a child said to her father,

"but you won't take time to listen to me!" What an indict-

ment!

Life is not easy for children, especially Christian

children. Their problems might seem small to us, but they are quite large to them! Christian parents must listen carefully, share the feelings and irustrations of their children, pray with them, and seek to encourage them. Home ought to be the happiest and best place in all the world!

Discouraged children are fair prey for Satan and

the world. When a child does not get "ego-strength"

at home, he will seek it elsewhere. It is a pity that

some Christian parents do not help their children

develop their personalities, their gifts, and their

skills. It is even worse when Christian parents com-

pare one child with another and thereby set up

unnecessary competition in the home.

Parents sometimes use their children as weapons

for fighting against each other. Father will forbid

Junior from doing something, but Mother will veto

that order and give her approval. The poor child

is caught between his parents, and before long he

learns how to play both ends against the middle.

The result is moral and spiritual tragedy.

If a home is truly Christian, it is a place of en- couragement. In such a home, the child finds refuge from battles, and yet strength to fight the battles

and carry the burdens of growing maturity. He finds a loving heart, a watching eye, a listening ear, and a helping hand. He does not want any

other place--home meets his needs. In this kind of a home, it is natural for the child to trust Christ and want to live for Him.