The God of Promise: Legendary Sibling Conflict

There is something about a sibling rivalry. We have seen it all too often. We’ve experienced it ourselves!

Growing up, my brother would give me fits. I would always be the brunt of his teasing and jokes.

Then there are television shows that depict such scenarios. “Marsha!, Marsha!, Marsha!” was the battle cry of Jan Brady on the early 70’s sitcom “the Brady Bunch.

I felt like I was playing referee for the first fourteen years of my time as a dad. Having Irish twins is no laughing matter.

But God works through such things. It is normal to have disunity in the home between brothers and sisters. The Lord can soften hearts, often over time, and accomplish his will even with the most meager parties.

A little boy was in a heated argument with his sister about who was going to get the last brownie. His mother overheard the loud discussion in their kitchen and came in to resolve the conflict. Her two children were obviously very distraught about getting that final treat. Sensing the need to teach a deeper truth, the mom asked her children that ever-relevant question: “What would Jesus do?” The older sibling immediately answered, “That’s easy, Jesus would just break the brownie and make five thousand more!”

Sibling conflict is challenging to overcome. And some involved in it never experience freedom. The Bible gives an example of two brothers that experienced ongoing conflict and division. Their names? Jacob and Esau.

“The older will serve the younger.”

Our story takes place after Abraham had passed. Isaac, his son is in his 40’s. His wife Rebekah, is barren (Genesis 25:21) and the couple is approaching middle age. Isaac prays for them to conceive.

Hopefully by now you seen this recurrence, which will also take place in Jacob and Leah’s marriage. It is to prove that children come from the Lord (Psalm 127) and the gift of the Messiah is not the product of just a biological mechanistic pattern, but the gift of God at each turn. God’s promise is not dependent upon human effort, but upon God’s grace.

In an answer to Isaac’s prayer, Rebekah is pregnant with twins. Esau is born first, thus he is technically the older. He comes out red and hairy. Jacob comes out holding onto Esau’s heel. John Sailhamer states:

“The central theme of the remainder of the book is the struggle between brothers is introduced in the brief account of the wrestling of the two twins in the womb.” (Sailhamer, 185)

The picture given at the scene of their birth would be symbolic of their relationship for years to come.

They are very different from each other. Esau grows up to be an outdoorsman- a skillful hunter and a man of the field. Jacob is more of a home body. He is peaceful, living in tents.

There is some favoritism taking place as we see in Genesis 25:28 “Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”

Verse 29 sets the stage for the conflict that was probably always there. Esau comes in from the field, after a day of hunting and is famished. He asks his twin for some food, which is being prepared- a lentil stew or “red stuff” as Esau put it.

Jacob, being crafty, demands that Esau give him his birthright. Genesis 25:31-33

“Jacob said, ‘Sell me your birthright now.’ Esau said, ‘I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?’ Jacob said, ‘Swear to me now.’ So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob.”

Now this birthright was essentially the rights of the oldest. The oldest child in oriental culture is always the one that bears the responsibility for the family as the parents age, but he/she always is gifted more. We will see that later as Isaac blesses his sons.

But Esau is quite willing to give up his birthright for a sack lunch. He did this because he despised his birthright (verse 34). He did not think much of it. Those things that you value, you will protect. If they do not matter, you will not safeguard them.

Esau is impulsive and careless.

According to God’s will, the younger will receive the blessing of the older.

Fast forward a few years and Isaac is nearing death. So he asked his oldest to go out and find him some game, prepare a meal, so that Isaac could give the patriarchal blessing.

Rebekah overhears this and devises a way in which Jacob would be the recipient of Esau’s blessing. It’s the old “switch-er-oo.”

Remember all the while the prophecy given at the time of the twins birth in Genesis 25:23 “And the Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.””

As Rebekah directs Jacob to go out and get lambs from the fold and costume up so as to appear as his twin, we see that Jacob is hesitant. But Mom replies in Genesis 27:13 “Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, bring them to me.””

Isaac’s eyesight is poor, to the extent that he cannot make out who it is that has approached him. Genesis 27:22 “So Jacob went near to Isaac his father, who felt him and said, “The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.””

And so Esau’s blessing is given to Jacob. Notice its contents:

The dew of heaven;

the fatness of the earth (produce);

and the abundance of grain and new wine (material wealth);

He would be a leader among his peers.

All of these blessings are quite compatible with the promise given to Abraham of blessing, land and posterity.

When Esau came in, and fixed the meal and prepared to receive his father’s favor, Isaac’s stomach was already full, but he smelled a rat. So we read:

Genesis 27:35 ESV

35 But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully, and he has taken away your blessing.”

Could Rebekah have been motivated to deception by the rocky relationship she had with her daughters-in-law, the wives of Esau?

But God’s plan will be accomplished, even with the conflict. Sailhamer goes on to state: “The fulfillment of the blessing is out of human hands- It cannot be revoked. It will come to pass, just as it was given.” (Sailhamer, 191).

The story does reveal the character qualities or lack thereof of both Esau and Jacob.

One is that Esau is impulsive. He is flippant, irresponsible and wasteful. He was willing to give up his family name for a bowl of chili. So many are like that today, looking for immediate satisfaction in relationships, in a job/career or in most anything. This is why there is such an addiction problem today, as well as the quest to self-medicate. There is a concept of deferred satisfaction that is a part of maturity. This is what leads a person to go to night school for ten years to get their degree while holding down a daytime job. I’ve known a handful of men that did just that in order to plan for a better future. And they succeeded.

Another character flaw that we should avoid is deceit. Jacob is crafty and quite eager to take advantage of opportunities, whether they are good faith presented or not. Jacob may have bought into the adage: “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’.” But such behavior is not pleasing to the Lord. God wants our yes to be yes and our no to be no. He wants us to be honest and fair with others, so as to maintain a reputation that brings honor to His name. Jacob’s very name means: “deceiver.” It would later be changed to Israel after wrestling with the angel. Genesis 32:28

Genesis 32:28 ESV

28 Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

Honesty, hard work and determination are better roads to travel than deceit, laziness and impulsivity. God is the One who chooses, orders and directs, often with the will of others and not against it. Scholar and author Ian Duguid states:

“The reality of our faith is daily put to a multitude of little (and not so little) tests. Of course, when what God has promised doesn’t seem to be materializing, Satan is immediately on hand offering us deceptive shortcuts that seem at first sight to bring us to the same point. In so many situations, the choice that faces us is essentially the same as that which faced the patriarchs: believe God, even when it doesn’t seem likely to work, or follow Satan’s shortcut.” (Duguid, Living in the Grip of Relentless Grace, 3).

The only way or method of change is a heart change from God. When a person fully submits to the Lord as a result of conviction, then lasting change can take place.

But there is an application to the church too. We are a good church, but we have our flaws. We are a serving congregation and a church that values the truth of the Scriptures. We love God, serve others and grow disciples. But we need to understand that this is God's vineyard and maybe He is trying to get our attention first or preparing us for the future. How many of us are listening?

Changing Love

The story of is told of a girl who regretted breaking her engagement and wrote this letter:

“Dearest Tommy, No words could ever express the great unhappiness I’ve felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you’ll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I love you! I love you!”

Yours forever, Marie

PS: And congratulations on winning the state lottery.