0948 Married but Miserable

Married but Miserable

Self-inflicted pain and life inflicted pain.

Wedding dress pain.

This is what people caused to Jesus: sorrow in the soul, no emotional support, betrayed, forsaken, falsely accused, split on, blindfolded, beat, struck with hands, scourged, mocked, property taken, and blasphemed.

1. Pray to the Father so that you don’t become a prey to the flesh.

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mark 14:38

Relationship with God doesn’t guarantee that people will act right but it does give me strength to react right.

By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

You can’t become a better husband until you are a better disciple.

In dealing with difficult person, the flesh will drive you to

Close your heart Open your mouth

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19

Put on a mask over your mouth to slow down the spread of anger.

“He drives me crazy”

4 Types of Anger by Adrian Roggers

Sudden anger - control it Sinful anger - condemn it (without cause, angry at person, not offense) Spirit of anger - conquer it (bitterness, burning, burst into flames, want to hurt) Sanctified anger - channel it

2. Don’t spit into the cup of suffering, drink from it.

So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into the sheath. Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?” John 18:11

We are more prone to kill for Jesus than to suffer with Jesus.

Breaking off pride precedes breakthrough in relationships.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

Allow the Holy Spirit to use the suffering around you to produce fruit of long-suffering in you.

Fruit of the Holy Spirit is LONG-SUFFERING, not avoiding suffering.

Long-suffering is patiently enduring lasting hardship.

Before you stop the suffering, make sure you don’t let the suffering stop you.

You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. 2 Timothy 3:12

The best leaders had to endure more pain. Many people could never have more influence because they don’t have a big enough leadership pain threshold. If you are not hurting you are not leading. Dr. Sam Chand (Leadership Pain)

Jesus didn’t quit on people to end the pain.

The pain of losing us was greater than the pain of loving us.

Holy Spirit is not interested in removing suffering but improving your ability to suffer successfully

When you can’t control the suffering, allow the Holy Spirit to help you control self.

Control complicates suffering. (Peter cut off the ear)

Self-control will alleviate suffering.

3. What to do when you can’t do it anymore?

Fell out of love. Attracted to someone else. Difficult person. Toxic relationship.

Now as they led Him away, they laid hold of a certain man, Simon a Cyrenian, who was coming from the country, and on him they laid the cross that he might bear it after Jesus. Luke 23:26

Don’t quit, get help!

Be a finisher not a quitter. Jesus said, It is finished, not I quit!

Pharisees needed deliverance but Jesus needed help.

Don’t become desensitized by drinking poison.

The first wine (mixed with myrrh) was designed to dull Jesus’ pain, to keep Him from having to endure the cross with full consciousness. This wine He refused.

The second (sour) wine was given to keep Him “conscious for as long as possible,” and thus have the effect of prolonging His pain. This is the wine Jesus drank.

Poison for the pain is overeating food, sex, alcohol, drugs, gambling, overworking, offense and bitterness.

Disinfect the wound

Forgive them before they apologize.

The first thing you have to do when you get hurt is disinfect the wound with forgiveness.

Forgiveness turns wounds into scars and God will turn scars into testimony.

Wound hurts, scar helps; wound says what they did, scar says what God did; wound gets infected, scar impacts.

Distance yourself from evil person.

It takes one to forgive, it takes two to reconcile.

Destroying them is hurting them, distancing yourself is protecting yourself.

God wouldn’t change what you enable.

If Jonah is rocking your boat, it’s time to throw him overboard.