0962 Lessons of Marriage

Our first valentine. Cheap flowers from Walt Mart.

0. Proper preparation reduces unrealistic expectation which will result in lower frustrations down the road of marriage.

Pay down debts

Take e course

Get rid of addictions

Deal with abuse

1. Freedom is the foundation of a good lasting relationship.

Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:12

And the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:13

Marriage is like a beautiful garden from which we need to pull WEEDS, plant SEEDS, and kill SNAKES.

Too many people, instead of fighting a SNAKE, fight their SPOUSE. Instead of doing SPIRITUAL warfare, they do SPOUSAL warfare.

If you are dealing with the devil’s spiritual attacks in your marriage, remember to always AFFIRM THE PERSON and then ATTACK THE PROBLEM.

2. It’s not our job to change our spouse, our job is to obey God.

God called us to love, not change our spouse.

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Husband love your wife.

Wife respect your husband.

“The success of a marriage comes not in finding the right person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married” Les & Leslie Parrott

Your spouse is like a flower, it will not grow when you pull it. Water it instead and be patient.

Don’t be guilt-tripping, be stingy, demanding, controlling, and manipulating.

3. Learn to complain, not criticize your spouse.

Complaining is sharing your feelings, criticizing is attacking the other person.

4. Listen to understand, not to respond.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; James 1:19

Illustration of lost watch!

5. Speak the love language of your spouse.

And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:2

Falling in love happens by chance.

Walking in love happens by choice.

Speaking the love language of your spouse is like learning a foreign language. Criticism of my behavior provides me a clue of their primary language.

Words (coffee is delicious) - humble words. Love makes requests, not demand

Quality time (lets go for coffee) - marriage is relationship not a project

Gifts (here’s some coffee)

Acts of serving (I made you coffee)

Physical touch (let me hold you like coffee) - body is for touching, not abuse

6. Date your mate.

Go on dates weekly and vacations yearly.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

“Be joined” to cling, to catch by pursuit, follow close (hard after), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.

Any boy can pursue a girl, it takes a man to pursue his wife.

7. Sex is superglue in marriage.

Devil will do his best to push singles into sex and pull married folks out of having sex with their partner.

Sex begins in the kitchen, not in the bed.

Talk about sex. Porn expectiations, abuse limitations.

8. Don’t compare to other couples.

God is writing your own story, don’t steal His pen.

Faith. Fitness. Finances. Family.

9. We don’t fall out of love as much as we fall out of repentance.

Be interdependent, some are too dependent and others are too independent of their spouse. Let your spouse grow as an individual without drifting apart. Marriage shouldn’t be a prison sentence.