1 Thessalonians 5:12-15 - The Healthy Church Family
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Introduction:
It has become more and more obvious that many church families have a heard time interacting in America. Many churches are marked by sterility and distance. Others are marked by dissension and division.
Today’s message dives into relationships in our churches. Paul is going to touch on a few of the big picture relationships in the church. The first and foremost relationship that is beginning to flounder in many churches is the relationship between church leaders and their congregations.
We have discussed unqualified and shameful pastors before. There has been moral failing after moral failing of pastors across America. And churches should confront ungodly leaders and they should be removed from their positions and called to repent of their evil ways. But many men do serve their churches with integrity and dignity. And many of these pastors serving well are struggling because of the overall disrespect of the pastorate.
Pastor disrespect and disloyalty are all at time highs. Gossip about a pastor’s preaching ability, personality, and weakness are real-time today due to social media. And these critiques come with an even greater microscope because of pastoral and preaching comparisons with all of the podcasts out there.
It’s no wonder that Barna recently found that close to 40% of pastors thought about quitting in the past year - seen in data released November 2021 (1). In this same research - only 35% of pastors were considered healthy in a 6-division questionnaire involving relational, spiritual, financial, physical, emotional, and vocational health. Sadly, although spiritual health was number one in these categories, it only reached 52%. That means only half our pastors are in good spiritual health. How are we to lead others and nourish them to spiritual health if we are not healthy spiritually ourselves?
And the relationships of congregants of churches in America isn’t any better. Consumerism and ministry-driven churches have created a customer service mindset in which people come and are served and have no buy-in to the church body. No one wants to serve anyone else. They are there to be served. They want to order the Christian experience combo from the fast-junk-food drive thru church. This consumeristic mindset destroys the atmosphere to have real relationships with one another. It destroys the ability to do life with one another.
How can we survive in a world such as we live in today?
How can CrossPointe thrive and not just survive? How can we form a bond as a church family that is deep, loving and lasting?
In full disclosure, I think we are a much healthier church than most out there. I do not say that out of pride in myself or in you. I say that out of thankfulness and appreciation to our beloved Savior Jesus Christ. But my friends, it doesn’t take much to change the culture of a church into a gossip-laden, unloving, disrespectful group of people. We have maintained unity and are growing in our relationships with one another because we are united around the inerrant Word of God and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
May we continue moving forward even further as a church family as we go through Paul’s instructions to the Thessalonian church regarding how we should continue forward in building a healthy church family:
We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you,
and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
Let us pray.
Prayer.
Today we will see three ways that we can maintain a healthy church family. The first is...
I. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Esteem Your Elders (12-13a)
I. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Esteem Your Elders (12-13a)
1 Thessalonians 5:12–13a (ESV)
We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work.
For those of you who are not aware, the office of Elder (presbuteros: prez-be-tare-ose), Pastor (poimēn: pew-main), and Overseer/Bishop (episkopos: eh-peez-ka-pose) are all the same office in the church. Although some denominations confuse these terms - they all refer to the same church office but refer to different functions of that office. I am to pastor the church - meaning I am to lovingly care for, feed, and shepherd the church. I am to oversee the church - meaning I am to protect the church from false doctrine and watch out for false teachers. And I am also called to be an elder - meaning to be someone with authority in the church.
With that in mind, there is an important lesson given in this section of Scripture. Believers in the churches are commanded to respect and esteem and love those leaders who labor among them and to do so because of their work. This is an important distinction because one is not a pastor unless he is called and equipped by God. Anyone can say that they want to be a pastor of a church. Anyone can apply for a job and try to get it. However, we are to respect and esteem those leaders who diligently labor for the Gospel.
There is much truth to respecting the position of someone. We need to respect the position of president even if we don’t always agree with his decisions. Yet, he remains accountable as well to the people and to the other branches of government.
In the same way, we are hold our leaders accountable in the church. We mustn’t flatter a leader because of his position as pastor. We are to respect and esteem those leaders who diligently labor for the church with integrity. Those who are false teachers and who are in the ministry for shameful gain, we are to oppose. I know that is a tough word coming from a pastor himself! But I have seen so many times, a pastor not confronted of his sin because of his position in the church. He is permitted to live in a way contrary to the Scriptures without anyone stepping up to address his grievous sins. We are not called to blindly follow a pastor just because he is a pastor. We are to respect and esteem those who legitimately fill the role of pastor.
With that aside - How do we show respect to and esteem our diligently working church leaders? What does this really mean anyway?
These two words have two related ideas that we need to touch on.
1. We are to respect our church leaders.
Those who are worthy of respect are those who labor humbly and serve diligently for Christ and His church.
We respect our church leaders by appreciating their work and praying for them. We respect them by encouraging them. We respect them by holding them in high regard and defending them when others seek to gossip or malign them. We respect them by listening to the taught Word of God.
Next, we see that we are...
2. We are to esteem our church leaders.
This Greek word, hēgeomai -(hay-yeh-o-meh), means to think highly of or regard highly. This idea is shown well in 1 Timothy 5:17-18:
Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.”
Note again this is a conditional clause - those who rule well. And they should be considered worthy of double honor. The actual literal Greek understanding here is that they are worthy of double pay. This is even shown further with verse 18 where it shows that the laborer deserves his wages.
This is not a typical Scripture pastors bring up because it seems laced with ulterior motives! However, we are to preach the whole counsel of God. If we do not think that our pastors deserve to be paid much for their job - we are actually in disobedience to Scripture. The Scriptures assert that there is a distinction for those who preach and teach the Word of God. Their job brings great value to the church and the church is to respond with generosity because of it.
Although God has blessed me to be co-vocational - meaning that I have another job that currently supports my family - I was so blessed to see the church step up in covering my family’s benefits at our recent business meeting which allows me to be more fully present with the church family and work less in my job as a ER physician. I understand how expensive health benefits are these days. Thank you, church, for investing in the preached Word of God and showing that you find the diligent work being done as worthy of investing in.
And I am thankful for other leaders in our church family as well as in our convention who loved me enough to let me know that I needed to lead well in this area. By trying to be completely self-sustaining, I could have been a stumbling block toward this church’s growth in generosity and giving. I pray God is always blessed and pleased with CrossPointe Family Church.
Continuing with our understanding of esteem - we are to esteem leaders of the church in love because of their work. Serving the church is a difficult job. Satan fights hard against those who teach the Word. He hates us who preach and teach the Word of God. When a church does not regard their leaders highly, it makes a tough job even tougher. The church must do its best to pray hard for us as leaders and to encourage its leaders. We need your support and love. And I thank you for doing just that and pray that you continue doing it moving forward.
Moving forward, we see that as...
Scripture References: 1 Timothy 5:17-18
II. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Motivate Your Fellow Members (13b-14)
II. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Motivate Your Fellow Members (13b-14)
1 Thessalonians 5:13–14 (ESV)
Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
Our sermon today has focused in on how we should Biblically remain a healthy church family. We first saw that we respect and esteem our church leaders in love.
But now we are going to move forward in understanding how we interact with one another in the church. It is not just the pastor that is to care for and love the church members. Each of you are called to serve, care for, and love one another as well. And this verse and a half gives us a rundown of how our relationships should be with one another in the church. It shows us how we can motivate and spur on one another in holiness as we do church together as a church family.
1. Be at peace with one another
This is quite the charge. Being at peace with one another requires much forgiveness and grace. There is a reason that peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit seen in Galatians 5:22-23:
Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Living in peace and harmony with one another is only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of us.
Next we are commanded to...
2. Admonish the idle
We are to admonish the idle. This word idle refers to one who is lazy or disorderly. It also refers to one who is insubordinate - meaning that they are disobedient. Those who are lazy and disorderly need admonished. This word means to urge or exhort. it is to call out in a loving way. Those of us who are not running the race well need to be admonished.
When someone misses church week after week. Or when someone is not reading the Word regularly or praying regularly. When men are not leading our families well. When women are not being the mothers or wives or daughters that God has called them to be. When children are being disrespectful and disobedient. When someone is slacking in their work.
It is during these the times that those in the church need to lovingly admonish one another. This involves a loving confrontation and an encouragement to do better through the power of Christ.
I’m sure many of you hear what I just said and ask the question - I hear that, Pastor, but how can I practically admonish someone? Isn’t it going to turn out poorly and make me just look judgmental?
First off, the outcome may most certainly vary. Depending on the teachability and humility of the person being admonished, there may be a differing response.
Practically, you should start off by asking why a certain aspect of one’s life might not be going well. Sometimes there are things going on that we don’t see. So we need to resist the urge to stand in judgment of one another. After asking questions and hearing someone out, it is always helpful to express your love for that person and your care for them before starting to discuss a difficult subject. After getting all of the data and letting them know that you come from a place of humility and love - offer up your exhortation and admonishment gently but truthfully. This must never come from a condescending or judgmental heart. And when you are through, be willing to have hard discussions and offer follow up and accountability moving forward.
I know most of us despise confrontation. Many flee from it. But we do need to love one another enough to encourage each other not to be idle or lazy in the faith. We all need to run this race as one who is trying to win - not just to try to get a participation trophy.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.
Next we see that we are to...
3. Encourage the fainthearted
The Greek word for fainthearted here is oligopsychos (oh-lee-go-see-hos) which means timid or fainthearted or discouraged. It is to be fainthearted at a soul-level. The actual root for this word is psychē (see-kay) which means soul or life and is where we get the English word psyche.
These persons are those who are broken and exhausted. Maybe they have lost a loved one recently. Maybe their health is fading. Maybe they have faced some serious trials and temptations. Whatever they have experienced, they are discouraged and broken.
We need to encourage these people. We need to support them.
These are persons in whom we do not need to be admonishing or exhorting at first. We need to start by encouraging them and building them up in Christ. We need to point them to Christ who is our living hope (1 Peter 1:3). They need to be reminded of their Savior - Jesus Christ - who died on the cross for their sins and rose three days later and now is at the right hand of the Father to intercede for them.
However, our practical approach here deals with spending more time listening than speaking. People who are broken and fainthearted and discouraged often just need someone to hear them out. They need someone to listen. Be slow to speak. Listen well. And only offer Biblical encouragement after you have heard them out well. Don’t shot-block their complaints with comparisons to someone else. There are few things more unloving than hearing a believer in an interchange like this:
Faint-hearted: I have really been struggling since I lost my job. I feel so hopeless. I’m not sure how I’m going to pay the bills. I don’t know if we will keep the house or the car. My marriage is struggling because of all of this. I’m so lost right now.
Unhelpful Believer: At least you aren’t being fed to lions like Daniel was! Just think about how bad he had it and that should make you feel better. (walks away)
My friend, if that is you - if you just identified yourself as the unhelpful believer - my advice to you would be to just keep quiet and nod your head in most conversations around fainthearted believers. As harsh as this Bible reference is, I find it very appropriate in this setting… Proverbs 17:28
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
Sorry if that was a harsh criticism to you if you identify there. But it is obvious that you would fall under the needing to be admonished unbrella and not the fainthearted one!
Fourth, we see that we are to...
4. Help the weak
Help the weak. It is not clear whether this weakness refers to physical weakness or spiritual weakness. But the application is the same. Those who are weak need help.
There are those in our churches that need someone to help them along. They need someone to walk with them through difficult times.
It is clear that Paul intentionally left many of these exhortations to the church vague and nonspecific. As theologian Charles Wanamaker states:
…[Paul] sought to give the whole community a sense of pastoral responsibility.
Charles Wanamaker
Paul encourages each of us to step up in serving the church. Yes, I am the pastor of our church. But that doesn’t negate your responsibility to your fellow congregation. You are to lovingly serve those around you as well. We are all called to love, disciple, and encourage one another.
Finally, we are to...
5. Be patient with one another
Be patient with them all. Probably the most hard thus far. We have talked about patience some in the past. It is tough to be patient - even with fellow believers. Sometimes people don’t get sanctified as quickly as you would like to see. Sometimes our brothers and sisters in Christ have some personality defects that rub us the wrong way - a little like sandpaper! Yet these people are often who God uses to help us grow in holiness.
Note that Paul starts of this list and ends this list with two fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23 - peace at the beginning and patience at the end. We can only motivate our fellow members to holiness through the power of the Holy Spirit working inside of us.
Moving to our last point...
Scripture References: Galatians 5:22-23, 1 Corinthians 9:24, 1 Peter 1:3, Proverbs 17:28
III. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Relent Your Retaliation (15)
III. As a Healthy Church Family Member… You Should Relent Your Retaliation (15)
See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
I think it is important to note the distinction between lex talionis - which refers to the law of retribution (for example an eye for an eye) and what we see taught here. In Leviticus 24:19-20 we see the following command:
If anyone injures his neighbor, as he has done it shall be done to him, fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; whatever injury he has given a person shall be given to him.
This was not a personal repaying evil for evil per se. This was providing justice to the one who was wronged. This was the law of Israel. We see this understanding of not repaying evil for evil in the Old Testament as well:
Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.
or as we see in Proverbs 24:29
Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.”
In fact, we are told to love our enemy as seen in Proverbs 25:21 which is actually quoted and expanded by Jesus in the New Testament (Luke 6:27-36) and directly quoted again by Paul in Romans 12:20-21.
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
Grace was not a new concept in the New Testament. Grace was seen throughout the pages of the Old Testament as well. The Law of Israel provided justice and retribution in a clear way. This was not the person who was seeking revenge. This was the government of Israel - the leaders of Israel - carrying out the punishment for sin.
We see this in our culture as well. When someone commits a crime, they are prosecuted by our government. It is not for the person wronged to seek revenge. It is up to our government to do so.
We are called to love our enemies and those who wrong us. So how much more should we love our brothers and sisters in Christ who wrong us.
This last command that Paul brings up is quite the kicker isn’t it though? When someone wrongs us, what is our natural response? We want to go right back at them. Yet, Paul admonishes - or urges - us to do the exact opposite of what our carnal flesh wishes to do. We can only respond with this type of grace and mercy through the power of the Holy Spirit.
As we have mentioned before, doing life together as brothers and sisters in Christ can get messy at times. We will sin against one another at some point. Yet our heart should be to seek the good of those around us and not to seek to repay evil for evil. We have just read Proverbs 25:21 which told us to treat our enemies well. If we move forward to verse 22 we see the following:
for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
When you are kind to those who are not kind to you, it oftentimes - not always - but oftentimes has an effect on the person being unkind to you. It is very difficult to argue with someone who is being kind to you. It is really hard to say bad things about someone who is acting above reproach.
We should most certainly handle sin issues in a Biblical way by going to that person first and lovingly discussing it. In areas of grievous and public sins, it may need to go higher up in the church to be handled. But in other areas, we need to be willing to move forward by overlooking an offense and loving our imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ. As Proverbs 19:11 states:
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
May we as the body of Christ relent our retaliation. May we pray for those who wrong us. And may we seek to do good to everyone.
Scripture References: Leviticus 24:19-20; Proverbs 20:22, 24:29; Luke 6:27-36; Romans 12:20-21; Proverbs 25:21-22, 19:11
Conclusion:
Today’s message has been a practical church family message. This teaching is paramount to maintaining a healthy church family. Our churches must honor their elders and pastors. We need to appreciate the work that church leaders do in our churches. We leaders need your support and prayers. Our church members need to understand their need to motivate their fellow members. It is not just the pastors and church leaders who are to serve - but church members need to serve the body as well. We need to avoid the me-first consumeristic mindset of our culture today. And finally, we need to not seek retaliation when wronged. We need to Biblically handle conflict and seek good even for those who wrong us.
I pray that each of us takes this Scripture seriously as we seek to have a healthy church family.
Let us pray.
Prayer
If you would like to learn more about salvation through Jesus Christ or want to obey Jesus by obeying the first commandment of a believer in going through the waters of baptism - please let me know.
Have a blessed week.