Honoring Father and Mother

Introduction

We are continuing our Encounter with the Ten.

So far we have looked at the first four commandments, which we’ve seen deal with man’s relationship to God.

We’ve seen that God alone is to be worshipped, that we are not to use His holy name for personal, selfish gain, and the reason for observing Sabbath rest, worship and surrender.

Now, we will transition to the six commands that deal with man’s relationship with other people.

This week we will begin with the most foundational of human relationships, the relationship of the family.

When it comes to families, there is a lot of wisdom of the ages that are worth noting:

“One mother can raise five children, but five children can’t take care of one mother!”

“The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.”

“A child’s life is really determined by just how hard his mother and father work at being parents.”

“Heredity is something you believe in when your child’s report card is all A’s”

“The trouble with being a parent is that by the time we’re experienced we’re unemployed.”

“Children are often spoiled because no one will spank grandma.”

All of these vary when it comes to truthfulness and helpfulness. Some are clique.

But, a saying that is always true, always helpful, and never clique is found in the fifth commandments.

However, as we will see, the real point is often missed.

Turn in your Bibles to Deuteronomy 5:16

Body: Deuteronomy 5:16

Grimm Fairy Tale:

Once there was a little old man. His eyes blinked and his hands trembled; when he ate he clattered the silverware distressingly, missed his mouth with the spoon as often as not, and dribbled a bit of his food on the tablecloth. Now he lived with his married son, having nowhere else to live, and his son’s wife didn’t like the arrangement.

“I can’t have this,” she said. “It interferes with my right to happiness.” So she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly by the arm and led him to the corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes.

One day his hands trembled rather more than usual, and the earthenware bowl fell and broke. “If you are a pig,” said the daughter-in-law, “you must eat out of a trough.” So they made him a little wooden trough and he got his meals in that.

These people had a four-year-old son of whom they were very fond. One evening the man noticed his boy playing intently with some bits of wood and asked what he was doing. “I’m making a trough,” he said, smiling up for approval, “to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.”

The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. Then they cried a little. They then went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and gave him his food on a plate, and from then on nobody ever scolded when he clattered or spilled or broke things.

Many people who read the fifth commandment assume that it’s focus is children; i.e. that children should obey their parents.

It is true, children should obey their parents...

And this truth was expected to be passed down from parents to their children and then to their children.

However that’s not really the only focus of this command.

Like in the Grimm tale I shared, the focus is really on adults and the importance of honoring the older generation.

In fact, there is some link between the fourth commandment and this one, in that people are not to be defined by their productivity, but by who they are in the Lord.

The Command: “Honor your father and your mother…”

Honoring is obedience, but much more.

The Hebrew word here translated as “honor” (kabbed…sounds like kavad) is a tangible action to treat with high regard, with dignity, and with grace.

It carries with it the idea of weighing someone down with honor and respect.

And you know what: sometimes that’s hard!

However, it doesn’t negate the command because it’s hard.

Many times we need to ask for a little more grace (especially when someone is a VDP), but that’s where the Holy Spirit comes in to change our heart about people…

Honoring doesn’t mean that we always agree with our parents or worse, that we should follow them into sin.

But it does mean that we should do all we can to see them as God does: someone who in spite of their faults has value in the eyes of the Lord (and thus should have value to us)…

Apparently even in the times of Jesus we see people not honoring their parents.

Illustrate with Mark 7:1-13

Jesus points out that their Corban regulations allowed them to dishonor their parents by not helping them when they had need.

Jesus use of Isaiah 29 is telling when we consider where our hearts ought to be when it comes to honoring parents:

Many claim to be spiritually mature, yet still refuse to honor their parents.

What about dishonorable parents?

Some parents are dishonorable, some have done terrible things, and are even dangerous. And your relationship with this person will probably never mend.

However, most don’t understand that forgiveness is as much about us as the person.

Relationship might never go back...

Give up your perceived right to get back at the person…

You can genuinely pray God’s best for that person...

Lastly, at the heart of this passage is that everyone had value…

Aged parents who are no longer “productive” were not be toss aside and mistreated.

This is one of the reason that in-reach within the church is so important...

This is also a reason why we need people who are willing to minister to people in nursing homes today...

The Reason: “…as the LORD your God commanded you…”

That should be reason enough! Because God said so.

“Because I said so…”

Why did God say so?

In honoring parents we honor God…

Because we do what God says;

Because we follow Jesus example;

Luke 2:51 ESV

And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

Because it follows God’s created order;

Stabilizes society…

60’s…

Today...

A Blessing and Warning: “…that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

In this we see both a blessing and a warning.

Honoring parents often equals a longer life…

Dishonoring parents can leads to early death and great pain for others...

Consider the OT example of the sons of Eli the priest, Hophni and Phinehas...

1 Samuel 2:12 ESV

Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord.

1 Samuel 2:17 ESV

Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the Lord, for the men treated the offering of the Lord with contempt.

Additionally, they were sexual immoral and continually sinning against God. Even after Eli rebuked them, they continued in their sin.

In the end, as a result of Eli’s sons sin Israel lost a major battle against the Philistines, the ark of the covenant was captured, both sons died, Eli died, and and Phinehas’ wife went into preterm labor and died.

The results of sin can be great!

It doesn’t always lead to death…however, dishonoring parents puts a person outside of God’s will and leads to difficulty in life.

So What?

Honor your parents, even when it’s hard!

Honoring parents honors God and stabilizes families and society.

Honoring parents will bring blessing, and dishonoring parents will bring on difficulties.