Joyful Submissiom

Ephesians 5:21-33

The Respectful Wife

The Loving Husband

The Christ Picture

Introduction:

In most Western cultures, with divorce rates rising, marriages rates falling and more couples co-habiting and having children without marrying, even the most romantic and glamorous royal wedding can't obscure the obvious question: is marriage really necessary anymore? And with the legal redefinition of marriage allowing for same-sex marriages in many nations now, how should Christians conduct their marriages? In this passage we'll find that marriage has been instilled within the instincts of humanity and into the fabric of human society by our loving Creator to stir up human longing and prepare our hearts for the love of Christ. Marriage conducted by Christians in God's way is a glorious demonstration in the heavenly realms of the triumph of his plan to gather all things under Christ. Among God's people, marriage is no longer a battleground, but a field of victory, where sinners can remain united to each other in the service of Christ! Indeed, it is given by God as the most powerful illustration of Christ's covenant love for his church. So for all of us, whether single, married, divorced, widowed or in any condition of marriage, this beautiful passage not only speaks of the things we can pray for those who are married, but celebrates the intimate spiritual union of all believers with Christ, to whom we will one day be united—the ultimate "marriage made in heaven". This is not a section just for married people.

This section of Ephesians is commonly known as the House Codes

Leave and Cleave - two become one

Adam and Eve in the garden to the picture of Jesus and the churh the one of sacrifice, love and commitment

Wife does not lose her identity in the man, as her identity is found in Christ and vice versa for the man

Picture of the relationship within the trinity, one of order, uniqueness, equality, submission and oneness.

Wife is not controlled nor forced to submit, but she chooses to submit and trust her God in the submitting

Patria potestas and Manus marriage. Under the rule of her Father if not under manus law. This saw women and children not being equal and is some cases just commodities. Father could order the death of his kids, and women even as adult children could be ordered to death. Unwnated children were dropped off by their Fathers at particular part of town (like a rubbish dump) Christians would rescue these babies and raise them.

The Respectful Wife

Ephesians 5:21-24 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

What Submission is not

Not a blind submission, the clause is submit to a husband who is loving them as Christ loved the church so in other words obedience to God; Not submitting - to abuse (e.g. physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, neglect). Not submitting - to disobeying/disowning God . Not submitting - to illegal actions instituted by God.

Grounds for divorce for continued sinful behaviour - mixed in Christian academia and church circles. My take is ‘Yes’ as these actions over time are harmful and/or erodes the trust and unity that marriage is founded in and breaks the marriage covenant. God shares with us in how Israel broke the covenant repeatedly - Hosea 8:1 ““Put the trumpet to your lips! An eagle is over the house of the Lord because the people have broken my covenant and rebelled against my law.” which lead to eventaul breaking off the covenant relationship (divorce) - Jeremiah 3:8 “I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.” Although in regards to actual adultery (not other abuses) Jesus leans towards forgiveness, but if the spouse cannot move past this sin then divorce is sanctioned.

Nor is submission mindless agreement or not discussing/arguing ones convictions and opinions. Nor is the man more competent than the women in everything, a wise man will defer to his wife in her competency and enable her to use her gifts and talents. However, ultimately the resposibility must be beared by the husband.

What Biblical Submission Does

Helps harmonize the differences of how God has created male and female, who both have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other when biblical submission is practiced. God has equally and remarkably made men and women to relfect parts of his amazing character. Generally women reflect more the nurture, sacrifcial, and supportiveness of Gods character to the church and the world. And generally men reflect his protectiveness, work and leadership.

Is a witness to the world of how God operates, and how is church operates. It can also operate as a way to win people to Christ when they observe how differently and harmoniously a true biblical marriage reflects a flourishing life through relatonship and How God is key to that relationship, it also as mentioned before relects a glimpse of who God is. Submission also shows how Jesus, who is strong and powerful submitted to not only the disciples (feet washing ceremony), but also submitted to death for us.

If the world has a better model, we haven’t seen it. The fruit of the world’s model is brokeness, anger, poor morals and a self centred argy bargey rrelationships. Their model is that divorce is always on the cards if I don’t get what I want, my rights are more important than your rights, acknowledging the other person’s weakness and helping them in it is frowned upon.

2. The Loving Husband

Ephesians 5:25–30 NIV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

Have you heard the expression, ‘Happy wife, Happylife’ I am sure some of you guys live by that code. Daniel Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist, studies happiness. One thing he discovered is that married people are happier than those who just live together. He uses himself as an example. He and his girlfriend had been living together for a dozen years. Because of his discovery, he proposed marriage. How did it work out? “I love my wife more than I loved my girlfriend, even though she’s the same person. Commitment isn’t just a sign of love; it is a cause of love.” God can command a man to love his wife because God already knew that commitment is a cause of love.

Sometimes the action of loving someone wholeheartedly precedes the feelings of love. This commitment is a reflection of the love and commitment of Jesus who loves his bride, and is a reflection of the sacrifice it takes to keep that love and commitment. It shows the relationship between the Godhead as well. But only is joyful if we both give 100% to what God has called us to do in marriage.

V25 - If submission was like the worlds definition, you might expect this text to start by sayinh ‘Husbands rule your wife in an appropuate way...”. But it doesn’t, it says to ‘love your wives’ and to show that by being sacrificial like Christ. It is unclear why Paul’s instruction to wives was not to also love their husbands. However, I do believe that it is implied and also that if husbands behaved in the manner of Christ they would love them.

In Ancient times there wasn’t much obligation to husbands, apart from providing food and shelter. They were free to do what ever they wanted, where the wife was obligated to do all of the doemstic chores. There was no call for the husband to love, nurture and treat her as he would treat himself. No sacrifical service was placed upon him. We as Christian husbands are called to be tender-hearted, gentle, nurturing and allowing our wives to flousirsh in their new lives that Chirst has given them.

Analogy of Christ

You see it is not jus the Bravado ‘I will physically die for her’ I hope you would. How about showing that by dying to self, dying to self-righteousness, Self centredness, dying to our wants, and personal agendas. That is harder to do than to share how one day you might jump in front of a bullet for her.

It seems that God uses marriage as an analogy of Christ and his sacrifical love to his bride, the church. It is a picture of salvific love that Chirst has. In other words our marriages are evangelical in the sense that they reflect the gospel. Gentlemen, when the world looks at the love you have for your wife, do they see a love that is sacrifical, one of giving up your rights and selfish wants to benefit and better your wife? It is also a picture of loving your neighbour as yourself that we find in Leviticus.

Washing and sanctifying - water can be attributed to baptism, and some scholars make that link. However, water can also be attributed to washing and cleansing in the word.

Ezekiel 35:25-27 - I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

We are to point our wife to God and his word, that washes her clean and helps keep her anchored in God. This means making decisons based not on ‘Happy wife, Happy life’. This is a cop out, her long term jevity in God is more important than temporary happiness and getting her ‘off your back’. You may need to lead her into a place of uncomfortableness that helps you both grow.

Ephesians 5:25–30 NIV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

As you can see here, the theological theme here is that marriage, and in particular here the husbands role reflects the church and what Jesus has done for her. This is why anyone can learn from earthly marriages that reflect this, even if you are single. So in summary .The aim of a godly husband's love is his wife's best interests, which Paul explains from three aspects of Christ's love. First, Christ died to make his people "holy" (v 26)—devoted to God. Second. he died to "cleanse" us from sin, through the spiritual washing of the word of the gospel; and third, he died to present us to himself on the last day as "radiant" in the spiritual glory of Christ (v 27)without any stain of sin or wrinkle of ungodliness or blemish of imperfection, but holy and blameless in spiritual beauty.

3. The Christ Picture

Ephesians 5:30–33 NIV

for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

It's Not About Your Marriage! But at the end of this passage about marriage, we discover that Paul's deeper focus here is not upon our marital happiness at all! He says: "I am talking about Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:32). The "profound mystery" here is not marriage itself. It is the "mystery" (meaning "revealed secret") of the gospel, which he clarified earlier in the letter: namely, that people of every background are being reconciled to God and each other through the death of Christ, to manifest God's triumphant wisdom over destructive evil powers, in the spiritual realms in his church. So, the "one flesh" union of a Christian marriage under Christ, between two people who may be incredibly different from each other, is a powerful demonstration in the spiritual realms of the wisdom of God's eternal plan to unite everything under Christ! The power of the gospel to motivate a Christian wife to submissively support her husband, and to motivate a Christian husband to sacrificially love his wife, despite their sins and their differences, provides a powerful witness in our earthly churches of the victory of God over destructive evil powers. To put this simply, if God can keep Christians together in marriage, it's obvious that his eternal plan is working! Genesis 2 presents marriage as the union of a man and woman, reflecting the unity of God; the Song of Songs describes the erotic passion of a husband and wife. reflecting the intimate love of Christ for his people; Psalm 45 celebrates the royal magnificence of a king who makes a poor girl his princess, as Christ has acceptec as his bride; Revelation 7 and 21 celebrate the multicultural diversity of Jesus' church at his wedding banquet. And here in Ephesians it is a powerful display of Jesus’ sacrificial love, a joyful submission of his church (his bride), a flourishing life by following God’s way, and it is a spectacular witness of the gospel and salvation plan.