Husbands & Wives

Wives

Once again, the S word, submission.

Last week we spoke about authority outside the home. Today we bring it into the home.

We will be looking at a biblical view of submission, and what that means.

Jesus was submissive, Philippians 2:5-9, 1 Corinthians 11:3

Therefore it does not mean that you are less important, less valuable.

We are going to look at a wife’s role. Then look at what submission does not mean, and what submission does mean.

Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:18 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

God had given Adam the job of naming the animals, and tending the garden.

While naming the animals what Adam sees is that, there isn’t a helper fit for him.

There is no one there to help him carry the burden. Adam was unique and therefore, he didn’t have anyone like Him.

God created a helper fit for Adam.

What is a wife’s role as a helper?

Relational

Listening, encouraging, affection, friendship

Intellectually

Making decisions, offering wisdom and perspective.

Family

Caring for and nurturing the children.

Ministerial

Co-labor in gospel ministry, hospitality, serving in church.

What we see is that God created man first and therefore He needs to be leading and making decisions

Genesis 3:16

Genesis 3:16 ESV

16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Because of the fall, the curse placed on woman was that she doesn't desire to be the helper. She will desire to lead.

As we see in nature, anything with two heads is a monster.

v.1

Subject, to your own husbands

It’s not that men are greater and must be obeyed.

Submission is a gift given to from a wife to her husband.

What submission does not mean

It does not mean she is a slave in the home or a lesser person.

We are joint heirs in Christ.

The husband is placed as the head, not because the wife is of lesser value, but becasue of the created order of things.

It does not mean she worships her husband or always agrees with him.

I’ve heard wives say, “I think my husband is making a big mistake, but I can’t say anything because I’m supposed to be submissive.”

NO! You are the helper. You are to weigh in and give advice on decisions.

It does mean that He has the final decision though.

Husbands, you will be held accountable for that final decision and how you lead your family.

It does not mean she never tries to influence her husband.

You should be encouraging your husband. Giving wisdom toward the direction you believe is God honoring.

It does not mean she gives up independent thought or cannot have her own opinions.

Your husbands opinions don’t have to be yours.

You don’t give up independent thinking when you become married.

You are one flesh, and as such as your pursue Christ together, your thought should become more common.

But you are entitled to your own opinion.

It does not mean she gives into every demand from her husband.

Especially is her husband is asking her to do something that is unbiblical.

Last week we looked at authority, and just like earthly powers, if your husband asks you to do something unbiblical. Not only should you resist, but you must.

It does not mean she lives in fear.

Some think that submission is the husband is the dictator, and you are his fearful subject.

NO! You are his helper.

It does not mean believing her husband is infallible.

Some say, “my husband makes mistakes.”

This idea stems from believing is someone makes mistakes, they aren’t worthy of following.

No, he may make mistakes, just like you. But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t worthy of leadership.

What Submission Does Mean

It is a voluntary commitment on the part of the wife to joyfully live out the role God has called her to by following her husbands leadership.

It means she shows appropriate respect and honor to her husband.

It means she does not “compete” for the leadership role God has granted to her husband.

Win Over Non-Believing Husbands

Peter was assuming that some marriages might be unequally yoked.

In that event, let your conduct win over your spouse.

Submission is evangelism.

Because it is contrary to our sin nature.

Let Your Adoring Be Internal

Peter is describing the traditional attire of prostitutes.

Women who desire to catch the attention of men.

It is not wrong to dress nicely or wear jewelry.

Proverbs 31:21-22 describes a godly women clothed in expensive clothes.

Ezekiel 16:10-13 God describes His love for Israel and says how He dressed Israel in fine clothes and gave her bracelets, necklaces, earrings, nose rings, and a crown as a symbol of God’s blessing.

So no, I don’t think God is against you dressing nicely

With that being said 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says that your attire should be modest and not over the top. .

Sometimes we get so focused on the external. Making sure we are dressed nicely, have the right shoes, cloths. That everything is pressed.

Meanwhile you neglect what matters.

Your inner beauty, is far more valuable than how you look. God wants your beauty to radiate from the inside out.

A quiet and gentle spirit is focusing on the inner beauty that should be radiating out.

Quiet, being a meekness, a humility.

Gentle, peaceful, one who isn’t easily disturbed.

One who easily is humble enough to let her husband lead and is comfortable with his leadership. Encouraging him and helping him towards success.

Husbands

Your task is not an easy one.

God has entrusted you with a treasure, his daughter who he says in Proverbs is more valuable than rubies.

Do not get a big head about leadership. The reason we are called to lead isn’t becasue you know more than your wife, but becasue God has ordained it that way.

You are responsible before God for the spiritual and physical welfare of your family.

If you lead well, then to the praise and glory of God.

If you don’t, then for shame that you will be accountable before God for.

An Understanding Way

Understanding way means you should be studying those who God has placed in your care.

You should be a lifetime student, learning about your wife.

You must talk to them.

Your job is to take the initiative to draw the information from your wife, necessary to maintain the one-flesh intimacy.

Ephesians 5:25

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Exercising Physical Headship

Die to self for your wife.

Will you give up your desires for your wife?

Will you die to the desire to watch the football game, to help with dishes because you can see your wife is exhausted?

v.7- Showing honor

Honoring her desires above your own.

Looking for ways that you could be helping her.

Wives, is it easy or difficult to come under the leadership of someone who main goal in life is seeking your best?

Men, be the leaders God wants you to be for their good.

v.7- Weaker vessel

Part of physical headship is in protection and provision.

God has created men where they are generally more physically strong than women…that’s why it is my job to open the pickle jar.

Honor as the weaker vessel means you will be physically be protecting her.

And working for her.

Exercising Spiritual Headship

Ephesians 5:26 states that Christ sanctified us.

Ephesians 5:26 ESV

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Are you sanctifying your wife.

Are you leading your family in devotion, in prayer.

Just as we are being sanctified by the spirit. Your wife and family should be sanctified by you.

You can’t clean their hearts, so are you leading them to the one who can?

To Not Hinder Your Prayers

Understand the importance that God stresses on the family relations.

Your first responsibility is to your family.

The relations here on this world, will effect the relationship between you and God.

If you believe that you are a great Christian, but your relation with you wife, or with your husband isn’t right. You are failing not just in your relationship with your spouse, but in your relationship with God.