Sin and Forgiveness in the Church

Several weeks ago, we started Matthew 18, and we noted that the whole passage was really centered around the themes of humility and forgiveness.

We saw Jesus’ call, first, for us to humble ourselves like little children before Him. And then, he taught us what humility looks like as little children before Him.

Humility before the face of the Lord.

Humility in the face of temptation

Humility in the face of Mercy

The call was never to be boastful or prideful in the face of sin - whether we are dealing with our own sin, or tempting another person to sin, or thinking of the weight of our forgiveness of sin.

We saw that God is intimately aware and concerned about every single one of His children, and that we should not despise one of them. Not even one of them.

Then, if you remember, we talked about what it means to despise God’s children, or your brothers and sisters in Christ.

By overlooking them in favor of a more important person

By neglecting to care for them

By ridiculing them

By taking advantage of their weakness

By rejecting someone when they lovingly correct us

It is that one which ties us into the passage before us today.

We could really sum up the passage, starting in Matthew 18:15 with the opening words - “If your brother sins against you.”

In the first half of the chapter, the big idea was “don’t tempt someone to sin, don’t tempt yourself to sin” - the word was “Skandalon” - to cause to stumble.

But here, Jesus has moved beyond whatever the temptation was, to after the fact - the sin has taken place. Your brother (or sister) has sinned against you.

These verses are referred to most often to talk about what is called church discipline. That can be a scary term. It can be a misused term. And it can be an ignored term. We don’t have time to talk about every kind of case where these principles are misused or misapplied, we will take our definition from Jesus as we work through the passage. But in big picture language, There are really two ditches around that term.

There are instances where it is totally ignored. Where there is no attempt to do anything at all like what Jesus meant or taught here.

There are instances where it is overused, or misused, to make a mountain out of every little sin and failure that comes up. Or worse, it is used to promote legalistic principles and preferences in a church, rather than allowing the scripture to define what sin actually is.

It is also often called - “Ex-Communication,” which is also a term that sounds scary, but its really just describing the last step in Jesus’ words here. However we call the principles, though, we must not ignore them. But, we also must see that the heart behind them is not a desire to put people out of the church, but rather to seek repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.

Just as sin can be felt by the whole body, so Christ calls the whole body to seek for restoration and forgiveness.

If Your Brother Sins Against You - Vs. 15

This is the definitional verse for the whole passage. “If your brother sins against you.”

First, Jesus is looking at this as a hypothetical that is very probable. It is very likely that at some point, this will happen. You will have to follow this teaching. It is very practical teaching with a very practical aim.

“Your brother...” - this defines the scope of this. This is talking about brothers and sisters in the Lord. You may be able to apply some of the principles in this passage if an unbeliever sins against you, but the weight of it leans on the fact that the two parties are both believers, and both have the Lord’s teaching and the scriptural principles in mind.

You can only lovingly correct an unbeliever with scriptural principles to a certain point before they say, “I don’t believe that...” And then you have nothing to base your interaction on. Your’re on different terms. And interestingly, that is where we end up after the third step. But more on that later.

“If your brother sins...” - The word here is the basic word for sin - Now, sin in big terms is a state of sinfulness against God. It is, as Paul defines it, falling short of God’s glory. We are all born into sin, the world is a sinful place, after the fall of Adam, all are in sin. But here, the word is used more specific - there is an instance of sin.

Someone has disobeyed God’s ways. There has been a specific instance of rebellion or clearly ignoring God’s law and principles on a matter. It is important that we define it this way, though, because these principles are not given to use if a brother or sister just “bothers you” or just “rubs you the wrong way.” These principles aren’t intended if you’re just offended because your sister has a different opinion on some secondary, preferential issue. No, it is an instance where there is a specific sin. Something that can be identified, and more importantly, something that can be repented of and forgiven.

“Against you...” - That is important also. This is an instance where the specific sin is public enough, or specific enough, that it directly affects someone else. In a marriage, adultery directly affects the other person. It is a sin against the sopouse.

Lying to someone is a sin against someone. It is not being truthful with them.

Stealing from someone is a sin against that person.

Harming someone physically, or berating someone verbally, is a sin against them.

Now, what if my brother or sister sins, and its not against me? Here, there are two principles.

If someone is overtaken in a fault, we are to restore that person. Which we will see is the goal here. It is still imperative that brothers and sisters come alongside someone and seek their repentance and restoration when it is a clear fault. We will see that exemplified in 1 and 2 Corinthians.

Sometimes, we should lovingly overlook a fault. Love covers a multitude of sins. Sometimes there are things that aren’t worth meddling in. Aren’t worth bringing up. Sometimes in grace we can say, That person is in a rough spot. That person had a rough day. I know them, that’t not their character.

With all that defined, here is the principles.

Matthew 18:15 (ESV)

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

It really is that simple. If your brother or sister has sinned against you in a serious enough way that it requires some mending, then go and tell him alone, just between you and him.

Now, I cannot stress how much this principles, if actually applied well, would eradicate all manner of unrighteousness.

For one, it would eradicate gossip.

If someone sins against you, and you start spreading that offense around trying to gain sympathy as the victim, you are not acting righteously in that occasion.

If someone comes to you, and says “so and so has really offended me.” In love, your first question should be, “have you talked to them about it?” You may have heard me say that to you!

This is one of the beautiful principles concerning Jesus’ teaching. Sin does not always have to be broad public knowledge. If it is dealt with, and there is repentance and forgiveness, then that is as far as the topic needs to spread.

But also, this would eradicate a major temptation - bitterness.

Sometimes, whether we are embarrassed or nervous or scared or just too prideful, we won’t go to our brother when he sins against us. And we tell ourselves that we are just going to “get over it.” But rather than getting over it, we become bitter. Every time we see the person, we remember the offense. We wonder if they remember. We wonder if they know that we know. We wonder if they would apologize if confronted. And we stew about it, and that relationship is always stilted because there is something between you.

Jesus words here are wonderful - if he listens, you have gained your brother! That is a real admission that when sin takes place between two parties, there is a rift there. There is a real seriousness to it.

And at the same rate, when there is restoration, there is a real repair that has taken place. Don’t go on in bitterness, or stubbornness, and certainly don’t go on in gossip.

Rather, go to your brother, lovingly tell Him that he has really hurt you. And with the Lord’s grace, the hope and joy would be that he says, “My goodness, you are right. I am so sorry.” Or even, “yes, I know. And I’ve been ignoring that and stubborn about it, but I’m glad you’ve confronted me. I need to repent of that.”

This principles coincides perfectly with the last words we read from Jesus - because the Father is not willing that any of his little ones would perish. God doesn’t want any of his children to wallow in sin, he wants them restored. And when they are restored, what did we read in verse 13 - he rejoices over them!

So, if we gain our brother back, we should rejoice also!

Now, that is the best case scenario. But here is the rest.

If he Will Not Listen - Vs. 16-20

Matthew 18:16–19 ESV

But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

Second step - you go to your offending brother or sister, and they do not listen to you - that is, they do not respond appropriately. There is no acknowledgement, or there is stubbornness, or even more ill-intent. What do you do?

You take another brother or two with you.

Deuteronomy 19:15 ESV

“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.

This is a principle right our of God’s law. Jesus hasn’t reinvented the wheel here, he is just applying it to his new followers and the new body of believers that is forming.

The idea here is to establish the seriousness of the offense. And sometimes this is required because the person who has offended you is too close to you.

For instance, if you have marital trouble, often your spouse will not listen to you because they simply know that you won’t leave, you won’t do anything. Maybe they know you are timid, or they know you are easygoing, or maybe they just have grown so comfortable around you that they don’t take you seriously.

This is, again, one of the ways we despise our brothers and sisters - when we won’t hear them in their loving correction.

So Jesus says, take another brother or two. And the principle here would be that they are credible, that they are good people, people with the same intentions of restoration in mind. If you’re bitter and out to get someone, don’t surround yourself with others who will commiserate in your bitterness - no, surround yourselves with people who want the best in the situation. Who want restoration. Take them with you, and if your brother listens then, even though the sphere has broadened some - you have gained your brother.

Do you see how Jesus intends to keep the circle as small as possible? And do you see, brother or sister, how when you sin, that your stubbornness with it does nothing but make it a bigger issue?

Finally, if he will not listen to the two or three faithful brothers and sisters, then Jesus says “tell it to the church...”

Now, at this point, there is no New Testament church per-se, and we don’t have all the teaching and established order that will come with the writings of the Apostle Paul.

But I don’t think we can say that Jesus didn’t have us in mind, as New Testament congregations. After all, just two chapters ago, based on Peter’s confession, Jesus promised that he will build his church. This is no longer just talking about the general assemble of Israel, or of an assembly of people in general. This is the assembly of people who have come together because Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.

It might become necessary, if the brother continues in his stubborness, to take this before the whole assembly. And the purpose there, is not just to be a major gossip session - the purpose is the same as in step two - that the assemble together might witness to the truth, to the benefit of repentance and restoration. And, that the person may no longer hide behind his personality in his sin.

There is an example of this in the Church at Corinth. And Paul, there, instructs them to do just what Jesus says here.

1 Corinthians 5:4–5 ESV

When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

Paul uses strong language there - but it gets to the heart of the principle. When you put someone out of the body of believers, there should be a real feeling of weight there. Community, in our day, is so much less functionally important than it was then.

Consider that some of these new believers would be ousted from their homes and places of work for following Jesus. And then, if they were put out of Christ’s church, where could they go? There would be a real sense of need for the body.

And this is a side principle, but hear it well - do you have a real sense of need for Christ’s body? Do you sense a real devotion and accountability and belonging and trust and brotherhood with your church? I hope you do - I hope we exist in such a way that it would be a frightful thought to have to be separated.

In our day, however, it is more likely that someone will just go down the road to a church that doesn’t know about their offense. This is why it is so important for churches and pastors to have good relationships. This is why I seek to fellowship with other like-minded pastors, even of varying theological beliefs, because it is for the good of the whole Christian community that there be unity in these areas. And it is for the good of the straying person, too. Because if they are allowed to go on in their sin without ever facing it, that does not bode well for the reality of their relationship with Christ.

Importance of membership, accountability.

Matthew 18:17 ESV

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

What is the idea here? Well, for starters, there is a real separation that has to take place. There has to be an acknowledgment that the person who refuses to listen has no longer placed themselves under Christ or his church.

Just like trying to reason with an unbeliever based on scripture and God’s principles, so the one who will not listen in this case has thrown out his desire to follow God’s word, and you are no longer on the same terms. This is just a recognition of that.

But, we also must remember - what is Jesus heart toward Gentiles and Tax collectors? HIs heart is to love them, to call them to the truth. To seek their forgiveness and restoration. So even after the third step, there is still a hope - there is a witnessing to the truth. There is a real acknowledgment in relationship with that person that there is a rift - but there is a calling back to Christ in love. Just as if you were to witness to another loved one without the Lord.

Now, Jesus repeats his words here in verses 18-19 that he said after Peter’s confession. And here, he says them to all the disciples.

There is a real sense that Christ gives us, his followers, in the context of the Church, the responsibility to recognize someone as either a believer, or as someone who has left the faith. There is a real “binding on earth” that takes place when you covenant with and hold yourself accountable to a lbody of believers. And there is a real sense of “loosing” that takes place when you have to regretfully say of someone, “they have left the faith.”

When a body of believers has to recognize that someone has left the faith, is no longer a follower of Jesus, there is a reality to that. If you are part of a biblical church that follows the Lord and operates based on the scriptures, you should value their place in your life.

The assembly of believers does have real authority in the place of someone who has joined together with them. And when someone repents, the assembly also has a lot of ability to comfort and restore.

2 Corinthians 2:5–8 ESV

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.

This is where it is headed, this is the intention.

If Your Brother Seeks Forgiveness - Vs. 21-27

After all this, Peter comes to Jesus and asks this question.

Matthew 18:21 (ESV)

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

Now, we are often hard on Peter. But Peter here asks the right question. First, he understood that Jesus’ intention in all the steps that he had just given was repentance and forgiveness. And Peter’s question simply had to do with the extent of forgiveness.

7 times would be 4 more than what was required by many of the Rabbis of that day. The common teaching was to forgive someone 3 times for the same offense, and then no more!

Matthew 18:22 ESV

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

There are two ways to translate that - either seventy-seven times, or seventy-times seven. Either way, whether it is 77 or 490, the principle is that we aren’t even to keep count.

Our heart of forgiveness is to be such that we don’t say “this far and no more.” Our heart of forgiveness is to forgive as Christ forgives us.

It is this kind of forgiveness.

Verses 23-27

That story is meant to be an unbelievably large display of forgiveness.

10,000 talents would be around 75,000 Pounds. It was used of gold and silver, and if we get that Jesus is going for extreme, we can assume Gold.

And in Today’s terms, that amount of gold would be equal to 14.6 Billion dollars in debt!

Can you imagine that amount of forgiveness? That is an unfathomable forgiveness!

Yet, each one of us has been forgiven to that magnitude and more if we have come to Christ.

And dear one, if you come to Christ in repentance and faith, believing in Him and following Him, that is the magnitude of forgiveness that you receive!

Psalm 103:12 ESV

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Ephesians 4:31–32 ESV

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Do you hear the call of forgiveness?

Now, forgiveness does require both parties - the offending party has to acknowledge his sin for forgiveness to truly take place. It is a transaction.

We are called to have a forgiving heart. Ready to forgive. As soon as the person comes in repentance, we are to forgive them whether for the first or 50th time.

Forgiveness does not always erase every consequence, and forgiveness doesn’t mean that we will instantly forget the hurt or wrong. But forgiveness is saying, “I don’t hold it against you.”

But what if someone doesn’t repent?

Romans 12:19–21 ESV

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

never a heart of retribution or revenge

never hatred or bitterness

never acting in malice but in love.

If You Will Not Listen - Vs. 28-53

Vs. 28-34

The example there is of a callous, unchanged heart.

The example is absurd - if you have been forgiven billions of dollars of debt, how could you not turn around and forgive a few thousand dollars of debt?

100 days wages.

The call here is simple, yet strong. Do you have a heart of forgiveness? Has God’s forgiveness of you transformed your heart in such a way that you also freely forgive when someone repents?

“From your heart...” that is the key to this.

Matthew 15:18–19 ESV

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

A continued spirit of forgiveness toward others reveals the reality that is in your heart. This is one of the basic principles of Jesus’ teaching.

The reality of who we are exists in our heart. If our heart is to do evil, then we are still in our sin.

If our heart is to speak evil, then we are still evil in our heart.

If our heart is unforgiveness, then we are an unforgiven person.

And on the other side, forgiveness is one of the evidences of a changed heart. There is an unbreakable connection between God’s forgiveness of us, and our forgiveness of others.

Applications for today

Have you received the mountain of forgiveness that Christ offers?

When someone sins against you, are you quick to make it right?

If someone lovingly corrects you, do you listen to them?

When someone repents, do you forgive them in your heart?

Even if someone will not repent, do you harbor bitterness and anger against them, or do you leave it to the Lord?