Intimacy

Intro

We’re looking at what it means to follow Jesus Christ as we study the letter to the church at Corinth that challenged them on how they had developed a culturally captive Christianity based on things that they were believing about God, others, and themselves that weren’t based on Truth.

+ Are there any cultural shifts taking place that we are missing or cultural captivities that we are stuck in as the church in America? In the Twin Cities?

+ How do we live as strangers and aliens in this world yet as part of the family of God from many cultures and languages?

+ I was reading through John this week and was reminded in John 15:18-19 that we’re called to be different and that we should be concerned if the world doesn't hate us…because that means we’re just like them in our priorities and passions!

+ So, we’re learning ways that we can keep growing to live out a biblical theology and kingdom lifestyle together...

The letter is filled with encouragements and challenges, and throughout the series we may say things that challenge you…

it may stir up strong emotions in you. I want to ask you to stay with us through the possible conflict and to lean into it by talking with one of the Pastors or Elders if there is something that comes up that needs more conversation or context…

we are here to grow together. Don’t just disconnect during that message…jot it down and grab someone afterwards or set up a time to talk & pray together to make sure that we’re really hearing each other.

Intimacy

I. Title: Trying to determine the title for today’s message and I was debating between Intimacy and A Good Sex Life…so I asked Sarah, who really didn’t want to be part of that decision…I liked a Good Sex Life, so I chose to go with Intimacy as a title instead.

- relationships and sex are an area where the world has been captive to the enemy’s plans to kill, steal, and destroy…and we can be captive too if we’re not careful...

II. If we buy into the world’s ways it makes intimacy Inti-messy.

+ The world is obsessed with intimacy…whether it’s emotional connection or sexual intimacy, which they usually see as a continuum…Looking for Acceptance, Security, or Significance…or satisfaction, security, and significance in Relationships.

+ Your average movie, story, TV show, etc…usually are about the protagonist finding these fulfilled in a relationship…more than that, usually implying that sex will lead to intimacy…to the closeness they are craving...or that sex even equals intimacy.

+ Many people are looking for that intimacy with others, but instead are having unhealthy emotionally dependent or co-dependent relationships, some are in the dating game and experiencing shallow relationships or repeated heartbreak, some are simply hooking up and trying to meet those needs that way.

+ Why? Because we ARE created for intimacy…We desire this deep connection with others because we were created for intimacy…Many people find brokenness and pain instead when they go looking for it in the wrong places or in the wrong ways.

- God does desire us to have intimate relationships and He HAS designed us for them…He has clear definitions and designs for how those are to be for our Good and for the Good of others...

1 Corinthians 6:12-7:7

- The church at Corinth had some who were believing that it didn’t matter what they did with their bodies because they were already united with Christ…and others who were saying that even sexual intimacy with their spouse was not necessary or even good…there was a lot of confusion around how their intimacy with other people and their intimacy with God impacted each other...

(Stand, Read)

12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. (Pray)

- Let’s look at some of the key things that are going on here...

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

+ Some were saying “I have the right to do anything” to justify their choices that were out of alignment with God’s designs...Like thinking “I’ll sin and just repent later...” - that’s not repentance.

+ Even to the point of participating in temple prostitution…where idolatry and sex were brought together.

+ People were saying “food for the stomach and the stomach for food”…meaning, we’re just sexual beings and we should have sex...that’s what my body was made for...

+ But Paul is saying your body was made for the Lord!

+ Points us back to Genesis that there is a oneness that happens in sex…and that we’re not meant to have this oneness with everyone…in fact, our primary oneness is meant to be with God!

15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

+ Paul is saying that the rest of the Bible teaches that sex is not just a physical act…it is emotional and spiritual!

+ Sex is significant because it’s the only way that humans were created to connect in body, soul, and spirit that can produce life of body, soul, and spirit…

+ There is a Oneness that is part of sex.

+ In creation we see that God created Adam as one being, but he was alone, so he took part of Adam to make Eve…they were made to be complete together. Complimenting each other’s weaknesses...That’s not to say that you are incomplete if you don’t have a spouse, but it’s to recognize God’s design in men and women in general.

+ Because sex is so significant and bonding it can also cause great harm to body, soul, and spirit when not done according to God’s designs...

+ People often use sex in unhealthy ways for affection, affirmation, acceptance, value, significance, …but also even more harmful ways like power, control, weapon, currency, etc.

+ Sexual sin is a symptom of other brokenness…trying to find intimacy outside of God’s design

+ Sex outside of the covenant of marriage is dangerous and hurtful…it misses the mark of the original intention that was intended to be self-less and life-giving to each other…it was meant to be part of the deep connection between couples...

Sexual sin is different than other sin in its:

+ Meaning and Magnitude

+ Why? Because when we use our bodies in other ways it’s tearing us apart, creates more broken heartedness, and leads to cycles of brokenness.

Purpose of Sex:

+ Partnership

+ Pleasure

+ Procreation

+ Picture

- Some were saying that sex, even in the context of marriage, was not good…and they were missing that God designed Adam & Eve for sex and said that everything that He created was good.

7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

+ You see here again the emphasis of mutuality and intimacy in the relationship…Sex is good when it’s done according to God’s designs…self-less and life-giving.

+ That it shouldn’t get in the way of what’s most important…which is intimacy with God.

+ Paul was single and celibate and he will later talk about how much freedom that gave him for life and ministry, but he understands how it’s also good for others to be married if singleness is not a gift for them.

+ But throughout this whole thing I want to point you to a deeper type of intimacy than what the world knows…Check it out:

13 The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?

17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

+ Your very body was created for God’s presence!

+ God wants to fill your body…to be one with you in spirit...

+ In fact, he says that He has bought us, set us free, so that we can honor him with our whole lives...

+ He wants closeness with us. HE is the only one who can truly satisfy that longing that we have for intimacy, closeness, and oneness with another...

+ If you don’t find that in Christ first you won’t find it in any other relationship!

+ Jesus uses the picture of a plant to describe that deep level of constant connection He wants to have with us!

John 15:5-8

John 15:5–8 NIV

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

+ We were created for Him!

+ We are meant to find our wholeness in Him…nothing else will satisfy…no one else will be enough.

“You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you.”

~ St. Augustine of Hippo

+ Invitation

+ Challenge

+ Communion