The Relationship Principles of Jesus IV

The Relationship Principles of Jesus IV – Do Not Judge (NV 10/5/03)

OS: An elderly man had serious hearing problems for a number of years. His family tried again and again to convince him to get a hearing aid. Finally he relented. He went to the doctor and was fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100 percent.

A month later he went back to the doctor. The doctor said with a smile, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The old man replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

I.       Relationships are funny.

A.     Like: 2 old men sitting on a park bench watching the people go by. “There are some strange people in this world.” – “Yep, you a little strange yourself.”

B.     We are all so different, and that’s what makes relationships so wonderful and so difficult all at the same time.

C.     God has created us all, and so He knows what it takes to make our relationships wholesome and positive.

D.     Example of Strange things we do: The typical U.S. married couple spends four minutes a day in "meaningful conversation" with each other. That's 0.3 percent of the hours in a day. (And we wonder why we don’t understand one another.)

II.    The Relationship principles of Jesus.

A.     Value your relationships

B.     Keep your heart in check.

C.     Consider others as more important than yourself.

D.     Do not Judge – This is one of the most important and most misunderstood principles of relationships.

III. This principle concerning judgment could revolutionize your relationships.

A.     This principle could make your family and marriage different than ever before.

B.     Those who understand and practice just a little of this principle become those kind of people you want to spend time with, get help with your problems, etc.

C.     Three words to sum it up:

                       1.       Hypocrisy – Talking about someone else’s speck in their eye when you have a plank in your own eye. (Pretender)

                       2.       Integrity – Considering your own plank and removing it.

                       3.       Mercy – Removing the speck in your brother’s eye.

TS] Let’s take a look at this text and look at what we need in order to become a non-judgmental person. (Matthew 7:1-6)

I.       Don’t be so consumed with the faults of others.

A.     An elderly man lay in a hospital with his wife of 55 years sitting at his bedside. "Is that you, Ethel, at my side again?" he whispered. "Yes, dear," she answered. He softly said to her, "Remember years ago when I was in the Veteran's Hospital? You were with me then. You were with me when we lost everything in a fire. And Ethel, when we were poor—you stuck with me then too." The man sighed and said, "I tell you, Ethel, you are bad luck."

                       1.       If I can find faults in others I don’t have to consider my own.

                       2.       "You were right. Talking through the problem brought us to an agreement--that it's all YOUR fault."

B.     A grocery store check-out clerk once wrote to advice-columnist Ann Landers to complain that she had seen people buy "luxury" food items—like birthday cakes and bags of shrimp—with their food stamps. The writer went on to say that she thought all those people on welfare who treated themselves to such non-necessities were "lazy and wasteful." A few weeks later Lander's column was devoted entirely to people who had responded to the grocery clerk.

                       1.       One woman wrote: I didn't buy a cake, but I did buy a big bag of shrimp with food stamps. So what? My husband had been working at a plant for fifteen years when it shut down. The shrimp casserole I made was for our wedding anniversary dinner and lasted three days. Perhaps the grocery clerk who criticized that woman would have a different view of life after walking a mile in my shoes.

                       2.       Another woman wrote: I'm the woman who bought the $17 cake and paid for it with food stamps. I thought the check-out woman in the store would burn a hole through me with her eyes. What she didn't know is the cake was for my little girl's birthday. It will be her last. She has bone cancer and will probably be gone within six to eight months.

                       3.       You never know what other people are dealing with.

C.     A Few Facts about Judgment:

                       1.       God is the judge.

                       2.       Now is not the time for final judgment.

                       3.       The way I judge others is the way I will be judged.

II.    Consider my own shortcomings before considering the shortcomings of others.

A.     Remember what Jesus said, I want you to take the plank out of your own eye, then you’ll see clearly enough to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.  When Jesus talked about judgment He didn’t say, Pretend there’s not a speck there.  He didn’t say only to worry about the log in your own eye.  He said, Get the log out of your own eye.  Have integrity first.

                       1.       The only person you can change is yourself!

B.     Looking at our own faults does not come easy for most people.

                       1.       I was visiting my daughter's home when my grandson grabbed my hand to take me to see something. My daughter and he had found an uncracked robin's egg in the backyard. Inside the house they had made a cotton nest under a lamp and placed the egg in it. They found out what the temperature should be and had a thermometer to check it. They were going to watch the egg hatch. My daughter placed a card in front of this little experiment that said, "Shh, I'm happening!" I thought how good it would be to wear a big sign around me that said, “I’m happening.” Every time you looked at me you would say, “George is still happening—he’s not there yet, and he’s going to have some faults in the process.” And if you had your sign on, I would say the same about you. That’s forbearance.

C.      Scripture teaches us that we have faults, sin, problems, etc.

                       1.       Romans 3:23, “For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

                       2.       1 John 1 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

III. Your Influence is directly proportional to your judgmental or non-judgmental attitude.

A.     One purpose always prevails for Jesus and His people.

                       1.       Have a positive Influence on the world.

                       2.       Light on a hill, or salt of the earth.

                       3.       Don’t throw that away by placing judgment on others before placing judgment on yourself.

B.     Obviously Jesus was not judgmental.

                       1.       The prostitute that washed His feet with her hair.

                       2.       Zacchaeus who gave back what he had stolen.

                       3.       Example after example of Jesus having a powerful influence on the lives of people without being judgmental.