Married for God's Glory

HBI - Our marriages are to be for the glory of God so that all people may see how we lives and give their lives to Him.

Intro

Our marriages are under attack. In a world that is saying that life is all about you and what someone can do for you we read the bible and see that what God says is different and even looked down upon. The traditional wedding vows will usually say “till death do us part” have been changed to say “till love separates us” gone is the thinking that we are in it for the long haul, through thick and thin.

just look at the people that we look up to, the celebrities in the world. I sometimes like to look at the lives of celebrities, to go to Wikipedia and see how many times they have been married. It makes me sad to see that the majority of the celebrities we look up to as an example, or at least some people look up to, cant stay married. Celebrity Divorce: First and Second Marriages, looks at 484 celebrity couples whose marriages were covered in glossy magazines such as Hello and OK! between 2001-2010. It found that during the first 16 years of marriage, just over half (52 per cent) ended in divorce, compared with 31 per cent for non-celebrities.

Now this is a not a sermon on Whether divorce is right or not, the bible is clear that divorce was allowed due to the sin of mankind. But rather How a marriage relationship is supposed to look. If we trust in the Living Hope of Jesus then 1 Peter says we will be living a life of submission. That submission we see here how it applies to the marriage relationship.

Now Christian wives are not to submit maybe the same way as a slave to a master but the overall principle applies to all areas of our lives whether we are married or not. So how is it that in our marriages and all of our lives can we be living a life of submission. What do I do if I don't like what this has to say, or I am not living my life this way?

vs 1-2 - Submission for the gospel

we see kind of the main idea here right off the start, but first we get into a word study again.

1 Peter 3:1–2 (CSB) 1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.

we start out with the phrase “in the same way” this is a reference back to 2:13. the overall command to submit to all creation, then the breakdown of what this looks like in different areas.

where it says “wives submit to husbands” it is not like you would think. As we have gone over before, the word submit here can be translated “to arrange under rank” This is to say that though men and women are created equally, they where created for different roles. There are other passages that deal with this as well, but for now we will leave it at that. The equal we have different roles in ministry, in the church, in the marriage relationship. People have different views on how this is translated but this is how I see it.

the next part of this deals with the spreading of the gospel. As the gospel is proclaimed it is likely going to happen that the wife will come to the Lord and the husband will not. And as this happens what the Bible teaches is that if you are not living a life of submission, you need to start. But the reason behind it is important to see. The reason why wives are to do this is because there husbands may be won over by them living their lives for God like they are supposed to.

I would say not just to the unbelieving husband are we to model the message of the Bible, but to unbelieving people outside the marriage as well. To use the freedom that we have to be an example to others what it means to be a follower of Jesus. This attitude of submission comes not from yourself, you must rely on God for this as we will fail if we try and do it on our own strength.

when people see your lives who do they see in you? do they see you or do they see Jesus in you?

vs 3-5 - Glorifying God

when it comes to letting our lives shine with Jesus through the way we submit to one another we address the next part of what that looks like in our marriages.

1 Peter 3:3–4 (CSB) 3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

It would almost seem as if this is saying that women in the church are not to wear fancy clothes. that is not what this is saying though. This is not a prohibition against dressing fancy but rather on a proper sense of values. What does your beauty consist of? What is the focus when you dress up and put on lots of jewelry and make-up? is it to put the focus on yourself. It is all about where your values lie.

Where are focus is to be is on the heart. But the problem with mankind is that we are always looking at outward appearances. But our beauty is not to consist of outward appearance, that is not to be the focus of our lives. But our beauty has to do with the heart. Not the literal heart but it is a metaphor for the place where man relates to God and makes His basic decisions.

Man may look on the outside and judge by what they see on the outside but God see past all of that to our hearts. (story of Jim cymbala and the beggar)

but rather what we are to wear is what is imperishable, something any christian can wear with pride no matter what their status is in life. Whether they are poor and rich and can afford the finest jewelry. What truly expresses the love of God in our lives is inward.

a gentle and quiet spirit. Someone who doesn't fight back but rather relies on God for vengeance. To not fight back when we are attacked is very hard. Knowing God is just and will win in the end, because as you remember the living hope that we have is based on looking forward to the future when God will judge the living and the dead, Knowing this you can suffer evil without bitterness and vengance

This is what God is looking for in a godly wife and I think we could all do with learning what this looks like. The language here can be kind of difficult to hear, like we all need to go back to an Amish lifestyle, forsaking all things and making women go back to having no say in society anymore. But that is not at all what this is saying.

The clothing that you are to adorn yourself with is the innermost being. You need to make sure that you are glorifying God in all that you do. What we are looking for is someone who looks to please God in all that they do. Not worrying about what they want, not worrying about themselves looking good to others but rather a heart that seeks God above all. Not angry and bitter but gentle and peaceful Knowing that in the end God wins. It goes back to the heart, do you have a heart that is pleasing to God.

The other side of this is are you hiding what is going on inside you heart by a fake outward appearance. Are we hiding what is really going on in our lives, are we hiding a heart that is far from God? The bible says that you need to deal with this, it is your heart that needs to be on display for all to see that you are a godly wife following God. The rest of you need to know this as well.

vs 6-7 - Growing closer to God

Lastly we have the example of OT heroines. If wives indeed focus on preparing their hearts instead of adorning only the outward then they will not be alone. 1 Peter 3:5-6

1 Peter 3:5–6 (CSB) 5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.

It is okay to have examples to look up to on how to live this way. and Women from the OT are given as examples of what this looks like. Specifically Sarah the wife of Abraham and how she showed submission to her husband like we have been talking about here.

Sarah obeyed Abraham according to the bible and is seen in her calling Him Lord. Now this does need some explanation to understand or we may get the wrong idea. You see someone being called Lord and the first thing that comes to mind is bowing down to a king or something like this. But reading the bible within context we see this takes on a different meaning then what we would think.

At the time this was not an unusual expression for people. It was actually normal for wives to call their husbands Lord, that was just a sign of respect at the time.It was quite in line with the way people spoke at the time. Though yes it was also for submission as well. some wives call their husbands honey, or dear, or babe sometimes even Bae - I never did get that one. same idea you could say.

the next thing is as we follow the example that has been given us we need not fear any intimidation. We submit not out of fear. Again this is more in reference to a husband not being a believer and maybe being hard on the wife for her faith. I have not had to deal with this, but know people that do deal with this every day. It can be hard and often the husband can be quite unsupportive. The idea is that as children of God we need to be a people that submits and serves one another. Never to the point of disobeying the word of God. Stand firm in the light of the hope we have in Jesus and His coming again. Stand firm and refuse to be moved from the word of God. Submit not out of fear or getting a better social position but out of obedience to Christ.

and lastley we have a message to the husbands. There is more elsewhere in the bible for the husbands but we end with this here

1 Peter 3:7 (CSB) 7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Live out your marriages in a considerate way. That is personal insight that leads to loving and considerate care in all aspects of the marriage. This is seen in the way that we treat our wives. The passage hear labels the wife as the weaker partner. Now this is just saying that physically, the women is often literally the weaker partner in the relationship. Not weaker in mind or spiritually weaker just physically weaker.

You see we are still equal before God, co-heirs with Christ though we have different roles as male and female and that should not be a big surprise. This is a relationship that must be cherished and handled carefully if we wish to have a close relationship with God. ANd if we do not live our lives like this then there is a chance that our prayers may be hindered, God might be trying to get your attention.

So What?

Yes this passage deals with submission, arranging under rank but it has been sadly misunderstood. I want to first leave a note for us husbands, something we all need to work on. We only have one verse in here guys but it is vital. though women are coheirs and just as important, they have a different role in the relationship and men that means you need to step up. You need to understand and know your wives. This is not something that happens overnight either. we need to become life long learners of your wives. Men and women are totally different. You ask your husband what he is feeling or thinking about at any given time and He might say “nothing”. We have the ability to think about nothing sometimes and I think it drives you nuts. We are so different from each other that without a huge effort it is impossible to have a happy marriage. so I start with the men, become a lifelong learner of your wife. If you are single, then this is what a marriage relationship should look like.

And wives, you need to do the same. Your relationship is a little different and that is okay. Equal but different roles. Take a stand on the word of God so that others will see your marriage relationship, others will see your life and want to know what is going on In you. All this is for the Glory of God, stepping out of your comfort zone and allowing God to work through you. Trust in God glorify God in the way that you adourn the innermost part of your being and grow closer to God. Help each other grow