Becoming: A Person of Humility

1 Peter 5:5-7

5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

7 casting all your anxieties on him, because He cares for you.

Pride is a funny word

It has some positive definitions:

1) reasonable self-esteem: confidence and satisfaction in oneself - self-respect

2) pleasure that comes from some relationship, association, achievement, or possession that is seen as a source of honor, respect, etc. - proud of my team, kids, employer

3) exaggerated self-esteem - conceit

4) respect and appreciation for oneself and others as members of a group and especially a marginalized group: solidarity with a group based on a shared identity, history, and experience - LGBTQ+ community

5) a group of lions living together - Lion King

6) showy or pretentious -

The good pride:

Self-respect, dignity, satisfaction in a job well done, joy in seeing others succeed, those kinds of things.

Bad pride is what we all know about:

conceit, arrogance, egotism [Someone said egotism is the only kind of disease that when you've got it, it makes everyone else sick], attitude of superiority. That kind of pride.

can I confess that I struggle with this passage … the idea that sits in it .... it feels contradictory … it feels impossible … it feels like not only is it asking me to do something that is hard/impossible but the very promise in it makes it harder

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

So which is it God … do you want me to be humble, to be under the subjection of my elders and leaders and parents … because it says … God opposes the proud

Or do you want to exalt me … raise me up … show me off … give me glory

Are we created for lives of greatness … majesty … glory … blessing?

or are we created for humility … meekness … ?

That is what we are going to talk about today as we continue in our series Becoming. The road from here to there in a message I’ve entitles Becoming: A Person of Humility

1 Peter 5:5-6

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble.”

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

so that at the proper time He may exalt you.

Here the Bible is telling us that the key in your life is humility.

You want the favor of God

You want God to bless you

You want to experience the abundant life that God has promised to all his Children

Then we need to get rid of the pride in your life.

The key barrier to becoming … the major roadblock on the path of here to there … in your life is pride.

Because When I'm full of pride I can't change.

Mohammed Ali: (show pic)

Over and over would boast about how he was the GREATEST THAT EVER LIVED...

One time Mohammed Ali was on a plane and he wouldn't fasten his seat belt. The stewardess came up to him and asked him to fasten his seat belt. He said, "Superman don't need no seat belt." She looked at him and said, "Superman doesn't need an airplane."

How many of you would say I know somebody or I've met somebody or I work with somebody that has an ego problem? On the other hand, how many of you would say, "I know a truly humble person." … “How many of you would say I am a truly humble person?”

Pride is easy to see in other people; it's hard to see in ourselves.

The Bible teaches us that pride causes all kinds of problems in our life.

A) What Problems Does Pride Cause in My Life?

1. It prevents me from growing.

Pride prevents us from Growing

Pride robs us of achieving everything that we are capable of through the FAVOR or Blessing of God to achieve!

When you think you have it all together. When you say I don’t need any motivation to keep learning, to keep growing. When you say I’ve done enough for God.

I’ve served the Lord enough. I’ve gone to enough small groups. I’ve led enough small groups… If when I said we were going to talk about pride and humility you immediately thought of your spouse or someone else in the room... listen up

There are some of you here right now that you’re probably thinking I don’t need this message. YES, YOU DO... We all do!

"There is more hope for a fool than for a man who is wise in his own eyes." Proverbs 26:12

God is talking about the denial of pride. Pride causes me to deny that I have any weaknesses. And sometimes even if we are willing to admit that we have a weakness we aren’t able to see it’s real depth, its real power in our life

If I knew my faults I’d be glad to work on them. But I can’t think of any of them right now. Or mine are so small, insignificant, unimpactful … especially compared to theirs, hers, his, yours …

Was talking to a guy who consulted churches, especially dying churches … I remember the illustration he showed me … churches, start, grow, hit a peak, start down the slide … and what he told me was how far down the slide most churches get before they ever realize they aren’t moving up anymore … lots of excuses, reasons, justifications … he said lots of churches have already died, they just don’t know it yet … and this can be true of marriages, friendships, businesses … an inability to be honest with ourselves about reality … prevents us from growth, because we don’t believe we need it

THAT’S WHAT PRIDE DOES!

"Anyone willing to be corrected is on the pathway to life. Anyone refusing has lost his chance." Proverbs 10:17

Pride keeps me from getting help.

If I've got marriage problems and I won't talk to anyone about it, that's pride.

When I've got financial problems and I don't want to get help on it, that's pride.

When I'm not cutting it as a parent when I'm not making it at work and I don't want anybody to know about it, that's pride and it keeps me from growing.

We'd rather look smart than be smart

The way for you to be wise is by being humble. Do you even know what you don’t know? Do you believe you are the smartest person in the room? Are you certain that you have folks who can & will challenge you in your circle? If any disagreement, any contrary opinion or thought is perceived as treasonous …

One of the ways you can tell if you've got pride is to ask yourself, "Am I teachable?"

Pride prevents me from growing. AND

2. Pride poisons my relationships.

The root of all conflict and disharmony is pride.

When we act out of pride we tend to be demanding, unsympathetic -- I'm going to have it my way, my way is the right way. We become obnoxious and rude.

IT’S MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!

James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask

When we believe that ours is most important … our desires, thoughts, opinions, wants, needs, passions … covet, murder, fight, quarrel … pride … unwillingness to ask

PRIDE DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS.

"Pride only breeds quarrels.” Proverbs 13:10

“By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.”

The root of so many of your marriage problems is plain old pride.

"Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will be able to see and take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:5

When I refuse to admit that I'm part of the problem, then it causes pride and harmful relationships.

So many family conflicts could be resolved but we don't want to admit our pride.

We are unwilling to see our part in the conflict … ours is justified, ours is smaller, ours is really their fault, so much time has passed why haven’t they just gotten over it, I’ll get over mine when they get over theirs … when they apologize, when they repay, when they’ve suffered enough

Pride causes relationships to be damaged.

The key to reconciliation, on the other hand, is to swallow your pride.

Pride prevents me from growing, pride poisons my relationships

3. Pride produces stress and anxiety.

Unnecessary stress and anxiety. I worry too much about my image, "How do I look?" We're living in the ME generation -- very interested in status and position and image. Primarily interested in how things affect me, my family, my street, my race, my nation, mine …

People are so concerned with their image and their reputation.

So many parents drive their kids crazy to do good in school and you have to get A’s and many times it has nothing to do with the child doing good so he can have a good life... It’s so the Mom and the Dad can say how smart their kid is … I coached little league baseball for a summer … we were a terrible team, we had all the kids who hadn’t played before, signed up late and it showed

But that didn’t stop some of the parents … advice, criticism, shouting, 2nd/3rd grade … and you’d think the college coaches were watching …

I’ve been on lots of sidelines … mostly lacrosse … I saw a coach, square up another coach, over 4th grade lacrosse, there were offers to fight, puffed out chests and clenched jaws … the kids weren’t having fun, the coaches weren’t having fun, the spouses certainly weren’t having fun … it becomes about the dad/parent … my kid is the best, my kid isn’t going to be slighted

Parents want their kids to be good and be the best at sports so that they can say hey my kid is the best... It’s all about my image... what people think about us...

Sports are ruined for many teenagers because the parents are pushing the children to gratify their own ego...

toddlers and tiaras … social media … instagram … likes, who and how many, the right people … family photos … I love to post puns and have no idea why more people don’t like them

Crazy mom’s trying to achieve success through their children... Happiness is often a casualty of pride... It causes stress in their life

"It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think." Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”

Pride can cause depression because if I try to live one image but inside I know I'm different and they don't match, I'm going to get depressed, it can cause anxiety … fear of being found out.

Imposter syndrome - psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.

I may fool you but I can't fool me. It causes discouragement, depression, disillusionment.

"Happy are the humble" Matthew 5:5 ““Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

Humility is the mark of emotionally healthy people.

Pride is the mark of emotionally insecure people.

If I have to prove something to you, it means I'm insecure on the inside. Emotionally healthy people aren't concerned about status, image, pride, ego. They've found their satisfaction in other ways.

B) HOW TO GROW IN HUMILITY

1. I admit my weaknesses.

"A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance." Pr. 28:13

“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

Humility starts by being honest about my weaknesses. I don't have it all together and neither do you. None of us is perfect. We're all growing.

Live in Reality.

Sinful pride is based on a false evaluation of ourselves.

Humility is based on the truth

The Bible says that you will know the truth and the truth will set you free!

Romans 12:3

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” - "Don't cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your own importance, but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities."

Circle "sane". Be realistic in your evaluation. We must life in reality!

Humility does not mean putting yourself down all the time -- poor me, I'm junk, I'm a worm! Some people think that's spiritual -- "I'm nothing!" You are something! Jesus didn't die for dirt and worms. He died for people.

Humility is not denying your strengths. It's being honest about your weaknesses. The fact is, you have strengths. You got them from God. You have talents. You are very talented in some areas. I'm very talented in some areas; but I'm also very weak in some areas, too. Humility is not denying your strengths, it's being honest about your weaknesses and being realistic about your strengths. It says have a sane evaluation of them.

“Jesus was not SELFLESS. He did not live as if ONLY other people counted. He knew his value and worth. He had friends. He asked people to help him. At the same time Jesus was not SELFISH. He did not live as if nobody counted. He gave his life out of love for others. From a place of loving union with his Father, Jesus had a mature, healthy 'true self.” ― Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life In Christ

2. I Measure Myself

We all have a temptation to compare, to measure ourselves against someone else

Galatians 6:4 “But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”

He's talking about the good kind of pride -- self-esteem, the satisfaction in life.

You CAN take pride in yourself for a job well done.

But notice the danger. He says you can take pride in yourself as long as you don't compare. Don't compare yourself to somebody else.

There are two problems with comparison

i - Every time you compare yourself to somebody else you always find somebody who you're doing a better job than and you get full of pride.

ii - And you always find somebody who's doing a better job than you, and you get full of discouragement.

Either way, it kills you. Don't compare yourself. The Bible says it's dumb to compare yourself! Don't do it! You're unique. God made you, you. There is nobody like you. Like two snow flakes -- none are the same. If you don't be you, who's going to be you? Don't compare yourself to other people.

3. Give God the Glory for My Success

We need to have an attitude of Gratitude

1 Corinthians 4:7 “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”

What have you accomplished on your own? What do you have that God didn’t give you? If everything is from God, why do you act like you accomplished it on your own?

Everything you have comes from God. You don't have anything that wasn't from God.

"I built this business with my own two hands!" Where did you get your hands?

"I thought up this idea!" Where did you get your mind?

All your time, energy, talent -- where did it come from? It's all from God.

How many of you choose the genes and chromosomes of your DNA? Designer genes? You didn't choose those!

How many of you chose where you're going to be born? You didn't choose your parents.

These things are all out of your control. Everything you have is a gift of God. What you do with what you have is your gift back to God.

You realize in your success that it all comes from God. Even though you realize, "I have talent, I have ability, I did work hard. But where did I get the energy to work hard? Where did I get that talent? Where did I get that ability?"

You need to remember the source of your success. God, at the bottom line, is the source of your success.

James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

We also need to remember our roots. We need to remember where we've been, where we've come from as we're climbing the ladder. Don't forget your roots and what God has done in your life.

4. Humble myself voluntarily

James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

Humility is a choice. It's something you do. You take action. The word there is a verb. It's something you do. If you were to read through the entire Bible, not once does it say that you are to ask God to humble you.

Instead, it says "humble yourselves" -- it's something you do to yourself. It's a way of choosing the way I think, act, respond to others, and the things I say.

It's a choice. I choose to think, act, and speak in a humble way.

Then there is a promise. He says if you humble yourself God will lift you up. That's a paradox. God is saying that the way up is down.

The more I humble myself, the more God lifts me up. The more I am honest about my weaknesses and grateful for my successes and recognize where the source is, the more God lifts me up.

1 Peter 5:5–6 ESV

Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Honest evaluation about who we are .... should lead us to a place of dependence and need …

spiritual need - gospel