Our Authenticity: O Becareful Little Tongue What You Say (Eph. 4:29-31)

Intro: Good morning Fellowship Espanol! If you are a follower of Christ here this morning, then your desire is what we just sang, Christ be magnified, we want Christ to be magnified in our world, in our countries, in our city, in our church, in our homes and in our lives.

There is some important truths in the words that we just sang, which correlate with the sermons we have been listening to these past weeks concerning our authenticity and this principle of putting off your old self and putting on the new self. The song says “I wont be formed by feelings” Usually when we are lying, sinning in anger, stealing there is some sort of emotion or feeling that is driving us to lie, act out in anger sinfully, or even steal Emotions that convince us that I deserve to have this or I don’t think it’s fair that this is happening to me, or I can’t believe they did that to me, which leads us to lie, or act out of anger or steal. We can not live a life formed from feelings but we must “hold fast to what is true” and the truths we have been learning about is putting off the old self and putting on the new self like speaking truthfully instead of lying, controlling our anger and not letting it grow and get out of hand, and working hard instead of stealing in order to be generous.

Another vital aspect to what we have been learning and what we just sang, is that we are not doing this in our own strength. The cross of Christ brings transformation to our lives and empowers us through the Holy Spirit so we can live the life of putting off the old life and putting on the new life. This is what we just sang,

and if the cross brings transformation

then I will be crucified with you

cause death is just the doorway

into resurrection life

Today, as you can probably see, from the title of our message, we are going to be talking about how we talk, specifically how we talk to others. Some of you may remember the little lullaby or song that we would teach to our kids, this song taught the kids be careful what you see, what you hear, what you do, where you go, who you trust, what you think. There is also a little part of the song that says,

Be careful little tongue what you say,

be careful little tongue what you say,

For your Father up above,

Is looking down with love,

be careful little tongue what you say.

In our passage this morning, Paul is going to teach us “be careful little tongue what you say”. Let’s read our passage in Ephesians 4:29-31

Ephesians 4:29–31 (ESV)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

29 No salga de vuestra boca ninguna palabra mala[a], sino solo la que sea buena para edificación, según la necesidad[b] del momento, para que imparta gracia a los que escuchan. 30 Y no entristezcáis al Espíritu Santo de Dios, por[c] el cual fuisteis sellados para el día de la redención. 31 Sea quitada de vosotros toda amargura, enojo, ira, gritos, maledicencia, así como toda malicia.

I. Put Off Corrupt Speech, Put On Edifying Speech

Paul continues down his list of things we must put off and things we must put on. In our passage today Paul says put off Corrupt Speech and Put on Edifying speech. This list Paul is going through is not just a list of do’s and don’ts Paul is giving us here. We must remember the logic of Pauls argument, which is If God has given you a new heart, a new life and a new community, then we must live like we have a new heart, new life, new community, we must walk worthy of the calling.

How do we walk worthy of the calling we have recieved? We stop lying and speak truth, we manage our anger and don’t let it consume us, stop stealing and work hard so you can be generous with those in need. Today, Paul continues with how we talk to each other.

A. Command Stated in the Negative

Paul states the command with a negative first, telling us what we shouldn’t do or telling us what we need to put off.

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

1. What is “corrupting talk”?

The first question that comes to mind when I read this is, what does Paul mean by “corrupting talk”? What is he asking us to stop doing?

The word used here for corrupting is an interesting word, it means rotten or to cause decay. It is used in 5 other places in the New Testament, in Matt 13:48 it refers to a fisherman throwing out a net to catch fish and when he brings the net in he separates the good fish from the bad fish, worthless, fish. The word “bad” is the same word Paul uses and it is translated corrupting. Interestingly, Jesus used this word to talk about speech as well, and this is the other 4 times it used in Matthew and Luke. Let’s look at Matt 12:33-37, in the context of this passage, the Pharisees and Sadducees have been complaining about Jesus, talking bad about Jesus, challenging him, testing him and finally they say he is casting out demons by the power of Satan. After this last accusation Jesus says,

Matthew 12:33–37 (ESV)

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.

O haced bueno el árbol y bueno su fruto, o haced malo el árbol y malo su fruto; porque por el fruto se conoce el árbol.

Jesus’ argument here is, are the works I am doing good, are the things that I am saying true, if the fruit is good then the tree has to be good. But if the fruit is bad (which is our word for corrupting) if the fruit is bad, rotten, corrupt, then the tree is bad. This idea of talk that is rotting, corrupting or causing decay gives the image of words that are spoken that cause another person harm, to the point it tears them down from being healthy to becoming sick or unhealthy. When I was a kid our teachers would tell us “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, and to be quite honest that is a lie. Words wound deeply, words can cause a pain that brings a person from a level of health to becoming unhealthy because they have been torn down by corrupting talk.

Unfortunately I have experienced corrupt talk in my life growing up. A home or a family should be a place where someone is secure, loved and safe, but in my home, growing up it felt like a place of destruction and one reason is because of corrupting talk. My mom would verbally abuse us, this happened for years. Years of being cussed at, told your not good enough, you will never amount to anything, even the words I hate you. Those words take a toll on a person, they harm, wound, and damage a person. But corrupt talk doesn’t have to be extreme like it was in may case, it could be words that tear another person down, in can come through gossip, someone tells you something in private that should be kept private and you tell others, that can tear a person down. Or it can come through flattery, insincere praise that isn’t honest, or sarcasm, now this one hits home, because if you ask my family, I can be sarcastic. The question to ask is does our sarcasm harm others or are we telling jokes at the expense of others?

But Jesus reveals a greater problem, Jesus turns to the Pharisees and says

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

O haced bueno el árbol y bueno su fruto, o haced malo el árbol y malo su fruto; porque por el fruto se conoce el árbol. 34 ¡Camada de víboras! ¿Cómo podéis hablar cosas buenas siendo malos? Porque de la abundancia del corazón habla la boca. 35 El hombre bueno de su buen tesoro saca cosas buenas; y el hombre malo de su mal tesoro saca cosas malas. 36 Y yo os digo que de toda palabra vana que hablen los hombres, darán cuenta de ella en el día del juicio. 37 Porque por tus palabras serás justificado, y por tus palabras serás condenado.

Words reveal the heart of a person, from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Which is why Paul is commanding us to put off corrupting talk because if our heart has been transformed by the gospel, then it should reflect in our speech with each other. Corrupt talk should not come out of our mouth. Why? Because we will give an account for every careless word we have spoken, that is a sober warning and one we should take seriously.

B. The Command Stated in the Positive

After Paul states the command in the negative, he states it in the positive.

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

1. What is talk that builds up?

The picture associated with this idea of building up is as if you were part of a construction crew and you are working to complete the building of a house until it is complete. That is a great picture, because it gives you the idea that we are to use our words to build up others, in such a way that you help them become a better them, a more improved them. Our words are to be used to the building up of others until they reach completion. So in essence our words are to be used for the building up of others until Christ comes back.

I like the phrase that comes next “as fits the occasion”. There is a couple of implications with this phrase, the first is that when we are planning to use our words to build up others, we take time to think about we are going to say because we are speaking into a specific area of their life, in our efforts to build up and encourage we do not want to tear them down, we want to build them up.

Paul says this in Col 4:6

Colossians 4:6 (ESV)

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

6 Que vuestra conversación sea siempre con gracia, sazonada como con sal, para que sepáis cómo debéis responder a cada persona.

Let your speech be gracious seasoned with salt, I love that! Serve your words to others like you would the best carne asada you ever made. How you say something matters just as much as what you say.

Which leads to the second implication, is that we are speaking into peoples lives to a specific need or occasion. Sometimes there will be a need to comfort, or teach, or admonish, to discipline, to encourage, to love, etc. What ever the need use your words to build the other person up, even if it is a word of correction, it may be a hard conversation but your goal should be to use your words wisely, seasoned with salt, for the goal of building the other person up. Proverbs is full of wisdom on how we should use our speech, but Prov 12:18 would be a good one to memorize;

Proverbs 12:18 (ESV)

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Hay quien habla sin tino como golpes de espada, pero la lengua de los sabios sana.

Do you want your words to be like a sword that kills or words that heal?

3. For what purpose?

What is the goal of using are words to build up others? The goal is for your words to impart grace for the good on those who hear. Ray Ortland says “Gospel doctrine creates a Gospel culture.” Which is the same thing as saying the doctrines of grace create a culture of grace. This is what I think the Spirit of God through the apostle Paul is trying to communicate here. But what does a grace culture mean what does it look like?

I want you to think about the grace, which is undeserved favor from God, just think of the grace Paul has described in Ephesians 1-3. God’s grace has

chosen us

made us holy

redeemed us

adopted us

forgiven us

sealed us

keeps us

imparts knowledge to us

intercedes for us

welcomed us

gives us a new hope

a new life

a new community

a new love

a new purpose

I can go on and on into the night, God has shown so much grace towards us and continues to do so, and we don’t even deserve it.

What does this have to do with living out a gospel culture or grace culture here at Fellowship Espanol? Everything! Ray Ortland explains a gospel culture or grace culture as,

The shared experience of grace for the undeserving: the corporate incarnation (or living out) of the biblical message in the relationships, vibe, feel, tone, values, priorities, aroma, honesty, freedom, gentleness, humility, cheerfulness – indeed, the total human reality of a church defined and sweetened by the gospel.

It is taking all that God has done for you and applying it to all the relationships around you. By doing that you are imparting Grace to those who hear. When you get offended by others, you forgive. When someone close to you falls into sin, you pick them up and point them to Jesus, when the person sitting next to you is down you give them words of encouragement. Can you imagine if our speech in all of our relationships imparted this kind of grace culture, how much better would our relationships be? This is what Paul is pointing to Put off corrupt talk and put on equipping talk that imparts grace in all your relationships.

II. And Do Not Grieve the Holy Spirit of God

I have been meditating on this portion of our passage all week. It is one of those phrases the more you think about the more questions you have. Let me explain to you why, in theology one of the phrases we use to describe God is impassible, the impassability of God states, no one or no thing can impose suffering, pain or any sort of distress on God, in such a manner that God “experiences” such things unwillingly. God doesn’t “experience” emotions in the way we do. For example, when you are driving down the street and someone cuts you off, you get angry, something the other person did caused an emotional change in you. God never experiences emotional swings that drive him to be happy one second and angry the next, because of what someone does or does not do.

Have you ever read Greek Mythology, or watched a movie with the Greek gods, like zeus, hades and the others? What do you learn about those gods? They are much like us, they have emotional mood sings, they are happy one minute and angry the next. God is not like that. God is not a victim or suffer emotional pain as a result of our sin, nor does God suffer from worry, depression nor is he unengaged from us.

God is holy, pure and infinite which means any affections the scripture describe about God must be holy and pure and because God is infinite and we are limited, we will not fully comprehend all there is to know about God because he is a limitless wealth of knowledge, joy, love, wisdom, truth and I can go on and on. There is a tension of the impassability of God and the sense that when we sin the Spirit of God is grieved, offended, insulted because he has willingly entered into a covenantal relationship with those who trust Christ. It is the mystery of who God is, but this I know even when we sin, because God is impassable, is not governed or controlled by emotions, God’s love for us continues and yet the Spirit of God is grieved when we sin.

Why?

I can think of a few but one central thought that flows from the context of Ephesians is the Spirt is grieved because instead of being used as a agent of grace to impart grace to others, build up others, and unify the body of Christ, we bring disunity by lying to one another, being angry with one another, stealing from one another, or tearing down one another, which is in direct opposition to the Spirit’s work in the church.

Which is why Paul says what he say in verse 31, he sums up all that he has been asking us to put off by saying put off

bitterness- which is resentment that you refuse to let go

put off wrath - which is outburst of anger

put off anger - this type of anger is one that is longterm, it effects who you are because you don’t let it go.

put off clamor - which literally means shouting and apply’s to anger.

put off slander - which the word is blasphemy, which gives the idea of talking about others to harm and injure their reputation.

along with all malice - doing something with the intent to harm them.

The Spirit of God says, put it off church, put it all off and put on edifying talk, speak words the Spirit of God can use to build up your brothers and sisters, until we all reach the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, and become more like Christ every day until he returns. May the Spirit of God help us live this grace culture out in our lives, our homes and in our church.