Relational Evangelism

14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? 15 And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”

The Domino effect

How can someone preach unless they are sent?

How can someone hear unless the sent one preaches to them?

How can someone know Jesus if they have never been introduced to Him?

How can someone know why Jesus matters if they don’t know anything about Him?

I - What Relational Evangelism Is

The description for what evangelism is and why it is essential to the Christian life can be found throughout scripture, but the Bible isn’t overly descriptive on how to do it.

There are many different ways to evangelize. Entire ministries train you to go out into a community and strike up gospel conversations. Many churches canvas an area and go door to door. Others take a megaphone and do street evangelism. And then there are those who play the long game to form relationships, which is what we will be talking about today. This isn’t to say there there isn’t value in certain methods, and during the lifetime of this church, we won't limit ourselves to this one method, but as a core value, we will use this method as the primary method of evangelism.

Colossians 4:5–6 ESV

5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Definition

Relational Evangelism is the method of evangelism which focuses on building intentional friendships with non-believers that grow into redemptive relationships that give you a solid platform to speak spiritual truth into their lives.

Consider the passage from Colossians. What do we do in relation to the outsider (or non-believer)? We walk with them, making the best use of our time. Walking with them implies that you are in some sort of relationship with them, or else you would just be talking to them. As we walk with them, we are careful to use our words in a gracious way, seasoned to perfection, so that our words land. Knowing how to answer each person also implies that we know them well enough to speak into their current circumstance, which again, shows that we know them beyond a mere acquaintance.

Why We Choose This Method

It's personal‌. Sometimes there is resistance to this way of evangelism because it takes time, and seems way too passive to be effective, because to do this effectively, you have to let others into your life and you have to step into theirs. This means, you might not work the gospel into the first conversation, or the second, or the fifth. This method requires that you walk in wisdom. But, in time, they will trust you because you have shown that you care for them, and that personal touch will earn big dividends when God’s timing for a spiritual conversation comes to pass.

It's testimonial. This means you get to share what God has done in your life. While the person you are trying to reach may have some objections to this whole Christian thing, who can truly argue against a personal experience? Telling your story is also nearly always non-evasive. Shouting at them with a Megaphone will likely cause them to throw up some tall walls, but most people will be willing to hear about how God took you from darkness to light… from death to life.

We have some friends who were missionaries overseas for a number of years, and they would tell us stories about how they got their feet wet for those first crucial months on the ground. Maybe it would be helpful to put ourselves in their shoes for a moment. Think about how you would reach others with the gospel if you were living in the Sudan, Nepal, or Argentina. Would you go straight out on the street corner? Probably not. You might get a lot of attention that way, but I doubt you will reach many people. On the other hand, if you try to build a relationship; if you try to learn the local language and understand their culture, you are far more likely to connect with and get traverse any walls to spiritual conversations they might otherwise construct.

So, in essence, relational evangelism is a bridge that you build over time, which will support the weight of truth.

II - Why We Do Evangelism

The necessity of the gospel

We know as followers of Christ who adhere to biblical authority that unbelievers are:

dead in trespass and sin

blinded by Satan

enemies of God

lovers of darkness

under God’s wrath

We know their state of affairs, because we used to be in that same position! We cannot be so preoccupied with ourselves or our own Christian bubble that we neglect those who need Jesus. We can’t act as though we are living in a middle-school dance where all the boys are standing against one wall and the girls are on another. And, we should never strike up a single conversation because we feel like we have to. Instead, compassion and love should lead us into every conversation, because we do not want to see any person live in such a horrible state of affairs! Our hearts should be moved by these grim realities to speak, so that they do not live dreary, dark, sinful, and unfulfilled lives that place them under God’s wrath and sprinting down a road that leads to an eternal damnation. That would be the ultimate display of hate toward that person.

In his book Joy Unspeakable, Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones puts it this way:

If we have no sense of responsibility for the condition of humanity at this moment, then there is only one thing to say - if we are Christians at all we are very poor ones. If we are only concerned about ourselves and our own happiness, and if the moral condition of society and the tragedy of the whole world does not grieve us, if we are not disturbed at the way in which men blaspheme the name of God and all the arrogance of sin - well, what can be said about us?

Mark 2:17 ESV

17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”

We should all love the lost enough to tell them the truth about their condition and point them to a better way, because we know...

What faith in Jesus gives

we are made spiritually alive

we live a life in communion with God, filled with joy in His presence

we are given a new heart that loves God

we are filled with the fruits of the Spirit

we live under God’s undeserved grace

we get to be in a family - becoming sons and daughters of the King of kings

we gain eternity with Him and all those who are in Him

Philemon 6 ESV

6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.

1 John 1:3 ESV

3 that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:20 ESV

20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

We evangelize because we know the depths of sin that we once lived in. And, we know the un-surpassing riches of knowing God and living a life that is in constant communion with Him. We know that death came through Adam, but life and grace comes through Jesus Christ.

It's a command from our King

The letter of Ephesians lists a gifted person as an Evangelist, but that gifted person shouldn't be confused with the Great Commission for all followers to go and proclaim.

The Great Commission

Matthew 28:18–20 ESV

18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

The Great Commandment

Matthew 22:37–40 ESV

37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Telling others about the badness of sin and the goodness of God is a sacred call for all who believe. How will they hear the good news if no one tells them? Ask yourself this question. “What if I were lonely or struggling with a particular sin or anxious or ashamed of my past or scared of being judged. What might a Christian do or say to attract me to a different way of thinking?

III - It is what Jesus modeled for us

If Jesus modeled it, we should imitate it. After all, that is what it means to be a disciple. So, if Jesus modeled a relational way to spread the good news, shouldn’t we?

He sought the disciples

As Jesus went throughout the region to recruit the Twelve, what did He constantly say? "Follow me" was His request. In the grand scheme of things, Jesus came down from heaven to seek and save the lost by dwelling among them. Just that is a perfect portrait of relational evangelism, but even from the very beginning of His earthly ministry, it was Jesus who went in search of His students. Remember, the disciples weren’t Christian at this point in time. They were Jews who were looking for a mis-construed version of their Messiah. They weren’t looking for someone like Jesus. He sought them out with the intention to share Himself with them.

He shared His life with the disciples

When Jesus taught the twelve disciples, he went way beyond practical teaching like we know it today. Jesus didn’t begin His walks through Jerusalem at 9 am with object lessons as he confronted the Pharisees and then let them go home at 5 pm. No, it was much, much more than that. When Jesus committed to being their Rabbi, he committed Himself night-and-day to them. They ate together. They camped together as they traveled from place to place. The did all things together for over three years! In doing this, he not only taught them through sermons and lectures, but he also let them witness his personal holiness by teaching them through daily life experiences. You cannot get more relational than that.

He turned specific needs into evangelistic opportunities

Consider a few stories from the Gospel of John. If you are familiar with the structure of this book, then you will probably know that the first part of the book details seven signs (or miracles) from Jesus that lead up to His triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Certain translations like the CSB will even provide headers that mark these seven signs. What is significant about these signs, is that Jesus would meet a physical need in order to explain a spiritual reality.

For example, when Jesus met the woman at the well, what was she in need of? Water, right? She was at a well, after all. But, as Jesus spoke with her, he revealed that he knew all about her. He knew about her current partner was not her husband and that she had five previous husbands. She was trying to draw happiness and joy from the wrong places. Jesus knew she needed what He had, so what did he do? He explained that He was the source of living water and His well was abundant enough to never run dry. Jesus capitalized on a physical need to speak spiritual truth into the woman at the well, and it wasn’t transactional. It was relational. He knew all about her. It didn’t matter that she was a Samaritan woman who was a ethnic reject in the eyes of the Jews. He wanted to see her life filled with the joy of knowing Him. That’s relational.

Here is another example. Jesus was handing out with his disciples at the Sea of Galilee and a huge, hungry crowed was coming his way. He knew they were pursuing Him because of the miracles he was performing, so He provided for them by taking a little boy’s lunchable of bread and fish and feeding 5,000 men and their families. That’s pretty amazing. But, the next day, after the crowd came back for seconds, Jesus used that opportunity to turn their attention away from the bellies to the reality that He is the Bread of Life and no one who comes to Him will hunger… spiritually speaking. His sustenance is eternal. Again, Jesus met a physical need as a platform to communicate spiritual fulfillment. That is what relational evangelism does.

Finally, during the seventh and final sign, Jesus showed the ultimate display of power and relational bonding when He raised Lazarus. Though He knew what was about to take place, he cried and mourned with Lazarus’ sisters because He knew them well. He was saddened by the impact that sin had on the lives of the people He knew and loved. So, in the climax of the seven signs, Jesus overcomes physical death by raised Lazarus from the grave, foreshadowing His own death and resurrection and confirming his power and authority over death itself! You don’t get any more relational than that!

So, why do we hold relational evangelism as a standard and core value over other methods? Because we want to do it the way Jesus did it.

IV - How You can live this out

Pray

Remember, this is spiritual work. We can’t do spiritual work in the power of our carnal bodies and minds without the Spirit’s power assisting us. You might not know what their needs are, but God does, so pray that God will lead you. Pray that God would season your words with gospel flavor and pray God would put you in front of His lost sheep at the right time.

There was a guy in my previous Life Group - Seth - who took this to heart. He went to a local coffee shop and prayed for a chance to make a connection. During his time there, he say a young man sitting by himself and made the decision to introduce himself. That one act led this young man into our Life Group, where he is exposed to biblical teaching and loving Christian community every week, and though he hasn’t made a profession of faith yet, he remains a part of that group and interacts regularly.

Meet a Neighbor’s need

Be intentional to meet your neighbors and meet a need they have. That is what we saw Jesus doing in the Gospel of John. He met physical needs and used it as a platform to communicate spiritual truth. Look for opportunities and develop the ability to see the needs around you. Is your neighbor’s grass long? Offer to mow it. Do you see them working on a house project? Grab your hammer and offer to help. Haven’t seen them around lately? Ask how they are. The more you are intentional about seeing the needs, the more likely you are to notice them, almost like when you see the same type car you just bought all over the place, when you didn’t see a single one prior to your purchase.

Use your Life Group to invite others into a Christian Fellowship

Historically, this was not on my radar. In my mind, Life Group was where believers gathered together for biblical discussions and discipleship. That is certainly true, but have you ever thought about using your small fellowship as a place to draw non-believers into Christian community? Seth did that with the guy he met at the local coffee shop. He has since brought his girlfriend. Another member of our group - Michael - met a new person in the neighborhood through an app that allowed you to communicate with other people close by. Michael met him, helped him move in, and invited him into our Life Group. So, for a time, there were 3 non-believers in our group who wanted to be there and who were consistently exposed to the gospel message. Amazing!

Invite them to a church event, like a potluck or game night

Usually, casual events like this aren’t as intimidating to step into as it is an official church service. But this also gives you the opportunity to make a commitment. If they will commit to being in your life events, you will commit to step into theirs, and as you live life like that with one another, God will open the door for witnessing to them.

Find a place in the community to serve and make connections there

Think soup kitchens and partnering with other organizations that serve specific people groups. Then, be intentional to be a listening ear and shoulder to lean on. Start the bridge-building process.

Know them well and let them know you

As conversations happen, learn where they are in their understanding of the gospel and what objections they have. Begin with general questions about their interests. As the door opens, ask about deeper things such as their values, and then let that lead the conversation to the core of who they are and their worldview. Learn about them and where they are in their understanding of spiritual things, and pray that God will give you wisdom as you walk with them.

Then, as the friendships form, be willing to pull back the curtain and let them into your life.

Conclusion

We highlight relational evangelism, because by it, you can show the unbeliever that while you are an imperfect person, you serve a perfect God and you no longer have to live in guilt, shame, or condemnation. Let God's redemptive work shine through your imperfect, clay jar. Be an intentional bridge-builder and watch God do His work in their hearts.