Be Kind

Introduction:

This month we are highlighting the traits that we ought to have as believers. You know, considering all that Christ has done for us, we ought to be some of the most grateful people. We ought to want to show that love to others and that’s exactly what we will be talking about this morning with regards to our tongue.

Our tongues can get us into a lot of trouble. James writes in James 3:2-6

James 3:2–6 ESV

2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

The tongue can either build up or tear down and it’s important for us to know how to tame the tongue. That’s something that only God can help you do, so if you are setting forests ablaze this morning with your tongue, pray and ask God to help you get control of things.

We are going to turn in our Bibles this morning to Ephesians 4.31-32

Ephesians 4:31–32 ESV

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Pray.

This morning we are going to first look at Actions to Avoid, then we will turn to Attitudes to Keep, and finally An Example to Follow.

1. The Actions to Avoid (v.31)

a. Don't Be Bitter

Have you ever eaten a pecan before and gotten a little bit of the center in your bite? It doesn’t take long before you are spitting that bite out and licking a tree to get the taste out of your mouth. It’s horrible tasting!

That’s how our words can be so often when we are bitter. Bitter people are difficult to be around. Most people don’t start out that way, they grow that way over time.

They have a series of let downs or disappointments that cause them to grow cynical and then bitter. They always look for the negative in everything.

Did you know though that bitterness is also a lack of faith? When you are always thinking things are going to go badly or trying to spot the flaws in everyone, it shows your lack of faith. It shows that you don’t believe God can redeem a person or change a situation.

Think about it. God changed you! Of all people you should know your own skeletons in the closet better than anyone else. Don’t grow bitter and if you have found yourself already there, ask God to give you a different outlook. Go back to the cross and go back in history and look at all of the unlikely people that God has used. Look at all of the unlikely situations that God has turned around.

Psalm 126:5 says

Psalm 126:5–6 ESV

5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! 6 He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.

If you will give it to God, you will be bringing in the sheaves as the old hymn says.

b. Don't Be Angry

Bitterness and anger go together. We are angry because we don’t get what we want. Consider what James said again,

James 4:1–2 ESV

1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

c. Don't Be Loud

clamour is one of those words that is an onomatopoeia - it is a word that sounds like what it means

I personally have a tendency to get loud when I get excited or get defensive, but when we get loud with each other, it causes the defense mechanism to go up.

We don’t get an opportunity to speak and feel that we are not being heard and then we fight back.

d. Don't Be Hateful

This is important! How we speak matters. We can be right about something, but if we are hateful in how we address things we are still wrong.

There is also a difference between having convictions and addressing things that need to be called out and being hateful in how we do that. We are told to help one another out and to hold one another accountable. However, we can do that in a spirit of love and with kindness.

Let’s now turn to the Attitudes we are to Keep.

2. The Attitudes to Keep (v.32)

a. Be Kind

b. Be Compassionate

C. Be Forgiving

3. The Example to Follow (v.32b)

Christ is the ultimate example we are to follow