WHAT ARE THE NECCESARY CIRCUMSTANCES FOR A CHRISTIAN FORGIVE?

Matthew 18:21-22

Intro: In this scripture we see Peter the disciple come to Jesus with a question about forgiveness. He asks, How many times should I forgive someone that continues doing wrong to me?

I sometimes wonder if this was a personal question; If Peter had someone in mind when he asked Jesus this question. Perhaps there was someone who was an enemy to Peter. Maybe there was just someone with whom things were not going well. Maybe it was his brother Andrew. Maybe it was someone on the fishing boat that day after day was causing problems. Maybe it was a tax collector who had wronged him multiple times. Maybe he was hoping to learn so he could help someone else. He may have had a friend quarreling with another friend and he could see their relationship being torn apart. Maybe he witnessed a marriage struggling because there was a husband and wife who wouldn’t forgive one another.

We don’t know the circumstance because the Bible doesn’t tell us, but whatever the case, Peter appears to be asking a genuine question. He is trying to figure out if there are certain circumstances necessary for someone to forgive another person.

I was asked a variation of this question in one of young adult discipleship classes. Should we forgive someone that is not repentant.

Understanding forgiveness is fundamental for Christians.

Why is forgiveness so important?

It is relevant.

Everyone has been wronged.

Romans 3:23 KJV 1900

23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

b. Everyone has wronged someone. We have all wronged the Lord

It is necessary for unity.

Psalms 133:1 - (A Song of degrees of David.) Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! John 17:11-23 - And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. Acts 4:32 - And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common. Romans 12:4-5 - For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: Romans 12:16 - Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Romans 14:19 - Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. Romans 15:5 - Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: Romans 15:6 - That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 1:10 - Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 2 Corinthians 13:11 - Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. Ephesians 4:3 - Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Philippians 1:27 - Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; Philippians 2:2 - Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Colossians 3:14 - And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 1 Peter 3:8 - Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.

It is a witness to the world of the light of Christ.

Matthew 5:16 - Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Acts 1:8 - But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. 1 Peter 3:15 - But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Acts 22:15 - For thou shalt be his witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard. Matthew 28:19 - Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Isaiah 43:10 - Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me. 1 Timothy 2:1-6

1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;

2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.

3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;

4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;

6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time. Proverbs 14:25 - A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies. Matthew 5:15 - Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Philippians 2:15 - That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Acts 10:42 - And he commanded us to preach unto the people, and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God to be the Judge of quick and dead. Romans 12:1 - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Matthew 5:13 - Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

4. A lack of forgiveness accomplishes the opposite.

It destroys our witness.

It destroys unity.

It leads toward bitterness.

I read a story last night of a pastor of another church talking about his experience with a man in his congregation who had just moved back to his hometown after his father passed away at a young age. This man’s father was great Christian example in their church and loved the Lord. The pastor expected his son to be the same as his father after their first meeting. But not long went by before he could see a rebellious and bitter spirit in the young man. One Sunday the church was hold a faith promise giving Sunday, and the young man wrote a large $0, and passed it in. The pastor could see that the man’s bitterness has grown and reached out to him. The pastor found that the man was blaming God for his father dying so young. This lack of forgiveness, and in this case faith in God had caused a bitter, closed, spirit.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT FORGIVENESS?

Mark 11:25 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Matthew 6:15 - But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 18:21-22 - Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Matthew 6:14-15 - For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Luke 6:27 - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Colossians 3:13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Psalms 103:10-14 -

10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

EXAMPLES OF FORGIVENESS

2 Samuel 16:5–23 KJV 1900

5 And when king David came to Bahurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera: he came forth, and cursed still as he came. 6 And he cast stones at David, and at all the servants of king David: and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. 7 And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man, and thou man of Belial: 8 The Lord hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the Lord hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son: and, behold, thou art taken in thy mischief, because thou art a bloody man. 9 Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head. 10 And the king said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah? so let him curse, because the Lord hath said unto him, Curse David. Who shall then say, Wherefore hast thou done so? 11 And David said to Abishai, and to all his servants, Behold, my son, which came forth of my bowels, seeketh my life: how much more now may this Benjamite do it? let him alone, and let him curse; for the Lord hath bidden him. 12 It may be that the Lord will look on mine affliction, and that the Lord will requite me good for his cursing this day. 13 And as David and his men went by the way, Shimei went along on the hill’s side over against him, and cursed as he went, and threw stones at him, and cast dust. 14 And the king, and all the people that were with him, came weary, and refreshed themselves there. 15 And Absalom, and all the people the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him. 16 And it came to pass, when Hushai the Archite, David’s friend, was come unto Absalom, that Hushai said unto Absalom, God save the king, God save the king. 17 And Absalom said to Hushai, Is this thy kindness to thy friend? why wentest thou not with thy friend? 18 And Hushai said unto Absalom, Nay; but whom the Lord, and this people, and all the men of Israel, choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide. 19 And again, whom should I serve? should I not serve in the presence of his son? as I have served in thy father’s presence, so will I be in thy presence. 20 Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give counsel among you what we shall do. 21 And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father’s concubines, which he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all that are with thee be strong. 22 So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 23 And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counselled in those days, was as if a man had inquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.

The Event:

It involved cursing.

It involved cruelty.

It it involved harm.

It involved a calloused person

It involved lies.

It involved truth.

The Response:

How should we act when we are attacked? Should we try to get even, should we use the power given to us to silence the enemy? No we are supposed to act exactly as David did.

Romans 12:14-21 “14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. 16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Leviticus 19:18 “18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.”

Proverbs 24:29 “29 Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.”

THE RESULT:

2 Samuel 19:16–23 KJV 1900

16 And Shimei the son of Gera, a Benjamite, which was of Bahurim, hasted and came down with the men of Judah to meet king David. 17 And there were a thousand men of Benjamin with him, and Ziba the servant of the house of Saul, and his fifteen sons and his twenty servants with him; and they went over Jordan before the king. 18 And there went over a ferry boat to carry over the king’s household, and to do what he thought good. And Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king, as he was come over Jordan; 19 And said unto the king, Let not my lord impute iniquity unto me, neither do thou remember that which thy servant did perversely the day that my lord the king went out of Jerusalem, that the king should take it to his heart. 20 For thy servant doth know that I have sinned: therefore, behold, I am come the first this day of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king. 21 But Abishai the son of Zeruiah answered and said, Shall not Shimei be put to death for this, because he cursed the Lord’s anointed? 22 And David said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah, that ye should this day be adversaries unto me? shall there any man be put to death this day in Israel? for do not I know that I am this day king over Israel? 23 Therefore the king said unto Shimei, Thou shalt not die. And the king sware unto him.

THERE WAS A HUMBLE CONFESSION Shimei comes to David and falls at his feet in humility. There was clearly an attitude change.

THERE WAS AN HONEST CONFESSION Shimei admitted he did wrong and is essentially asking for forgiveness? If this was heartfelt do you think he would have sought out the king?

THERE WAS A UNIFIED CONFESSION They were now unified.

Matthew 5:23-24 “23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

James 5:16 “16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

THE CHANGE HIS FORGIVENESS MADE:

1. It kept Abishai from killing Shimei

2. It kept David’s heart from pride

3. It pictured the forgiveness David recieved from the Lord

Luke 17:1–5 KJV 1900

1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! 2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. 5 And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.

Ephesians 4:32 KJV 1900

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

ALWAYS BE READY TO FORGIVE: LET GOD BE THE JUDGE

Luke 23:34 KJV 1900

34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

1 Peter 2:23 “23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:”

Steven: The witness for Paul

When we are wrong, we need to admit it.

When we have been wrong, we need to forget it.