Timeless Lessons from the Widow (1 Timothy 5:9-16)

Intro: In the ever-changing climate of our world, few things seem to pass the test of time. We used to speak more of timeless things, thoughts, and ideas that are always sure, certain, and faithful. Sadly, we rarely consider that which is timeless today because our eyes and our hearts are too prone to be entertained and amazed by the newest fads, fashion, technology, and science. Oh how easily we are tempted to put our greatest hopes in the things that are constantly evolving. We somewhat naturally look to the temporary, do we not, to provide us with comfort, security, ease, joy, and peace, while often ignoring and disregarding the timeless. Last week, we began studying a large passage of scripture found in chapter five of first Timothy, where the apostle Paul gave his counsel regarding the widow. He instructed the church to sacrificially and lovingly care for those who are all alone by meeting their financial, physical, social, and spiritual needs. But the sacred counsel of Scripture regarding the widow did not end there. For as we will see today, Paul challenges us to learn some timeless lessons from the their very example. Lessons that will always pass the test of time and enrich every one of our lives regardless of our gender or age. So, we read with me as we pick up where we left off last week and as I read 1 Timothy 5:9-16…

Today I want you to see three timeless lessons for the widow’s example:

1) The timeless and biblical example of selfless servanthood to follow (vs. 9-10).

In verse 9, the apostle Paul refers to a specific list. He wrote, “A widow is to be put on the list only” if she meets certain requirements. Theologians have often debated the nature of this list. Is this a registry of widows who have proven themselves to be “widows indeed,” as we discussed last week, who are worthy to receive assistance from the church? Some scholars and pastors think so, but others like me would argue that this list describes another group of widows all together. You see, in the early church there was a group of widows who served the church in some sort of an official recognized capacity.

You may have noticed as we read through our text this morning, that the tone and structure of these verses certainly remind us of chapter 3, where Paul detailed the qualifications for the roles of both the elder and the deacon. Now, here in chapter 5, the apostle is listing requirements for those widows who desire to serve the church in an official ministry position. And just as we were able to learn from the Christlike examples of both the elder and deacon, we should not be surprised, that each one of us have much to learn from the timeless and selfless example of the widow that is detailed for us here in chapter 5.

As we look through this list of requirements, you can’t help but notice the selfless nature of this role jump off the page of scripture. And again, here in this text we are reminded that self-denial is the foundational command of the Christian life. (and) Selflessness is the groundwork on which every other aspect of discipleship stands. As we work through this passage, I pray that the Holy Spirit opens your eyes to see the great humility and selfless nature of these special women. That God would lead our hearts to follow their Christlike example in being patient, kind, gentle, generous, caring, and loving individuals. People who are willing to sacrifice their own personal agendas for a greater one in serving others, by serving Christ.

Notice with me the selfless requirements that the apostle lists for those women who were qualified to serve in this unique role. First of all, these widows had to be not less than sixty years old.Sixty was the age in the New Testament world which people retired from their normal activities to a life of contemplation. According to the Greek philosopher Plato, it was the age in which men should become priest. For at that age, sexual passion begins to decline, and they were able to minister without being sexually tempted. Thus, this age requirement perhaps reflected such a mindset. Paul wanted to ensure that the widows would not be driven by a self-seeking sexual desire. You see a more mature woman would have the time, flexibility, maturity, character, reputation, and even compassion to serve both the Lord and His church. Younger women, on the other hand, may be also be mature in their faith but also be tempted to remarry and potentially abandon their commitment to serve the Lord alone. But what an interesting point Paul is making here that should challenge our modern-day thinking. Sadly, our culture has fooled us into thinking that ministry is only for the young and enthusiastic. That once we get a certain age, we need to set ministry aside and simply be served rather than serve. And here, the apostle is saying some of the most exciting and rewarding ministries begin at age sixty, and by the way, life expectancy during this time was much less than it is today. Listen, we are never too old to serve, never. Remember chapter 4, we are called to be servants of the living God. Every one of us and every breathe we take is to be for Him and Him alone.

Second, the Bible tells us that the widow must have been the wife of one man. This certainly parallels the requirements for both elders and deacons to be husbands of one wife. The Greek text literally reads that the widow was to be “a one-man woman.” Meaning she was to be totally committed to her husband. It speaks of the purity of her marriage relationship with her husband. In other words, she was a faithful spouse who only had eyes for her husband. A widow who failed to measure up to this standard would not be a fitting role model for the younger women to follow.

Third, notice that the widow had to have a reputation for good works. Look at verse 10 in your Bibles and notice with the me, the book ends to this verse. It starts with having a reputation for good works and ends with she is devoted to every good work. Not only is the godly example known for doing great things, but she is also diligently given herself over to the pursuit of such things. Now, between these two bookends in verse 10, Paul lists some examples of such good work in some what logical order. He starts with childrearing, saying she must be one who has brought up children. Meaning she nourishes young people as a Christian mother, rearing them in a godly home to be disciples of the Lord. This, according to Paul, was the woman’s greatest privilege and responsibility. Now, with that said, the apostle is not depreciating women who are unable to bear children, or those who have been given the gift of singleness. God has gifted us all differently for His own glory and renown. But bringing up children is not work that is limited to only those who are able to have children. Women can minister to orphans, adopt children, and serve the church by ministering and caring for young people. You see, a godly woman has compassion for children, and she can gently and tenderly show them God’s loving care.

Well, maternity often leads to hospitality, and so a widow can easily have a reputation for showing hospitality to strangers. Like the elders role detailed in chapter 3, widows also must be devoted to a ministry of hospitality. Her home must be open to strangers, friends, and relatives. She must prove herself selfless and sacrificial to the needs of others by offering them friendship, food, drink, and a place to rest. In the ancient world, where hotels were dangerous and filthy, traveling Christians would often be in the need of a safe place to stay. You see caring for strangers reflects God’s hospitable grace in a very tangible way. Many women proved themselves as selfless servants of Christ by caring for those who were in such need.

Now, often the first act of hospitable grace in the ancient world was the humble act of washing the feet of their guest. Noticeably, Paul list that example next, saying a qualified widow is known as someone who washed the saint’s feet. This lowly gesture was the work of the common slave. Since the roads were dusty or even worse muddy, guests entering a home often needed their feet washed. Obviously, this example reminds us of the great humility of Christ himself, who on the night of his betrayal rose from his supper, laid aside his outer garments, and then He took a towel and tied it to His waist. He carefully poured water into a basin and began walking around the upper room to each disciple, where he humbly bowed before them and washed their feet. Like a common slave, Jesus bathed the nasty feet of His brothers. Something tells me that Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, he was no in a hurry. You can never convince me that he did a poor job at this. No, Jesus took His time as he displayed his love and care to each of the disciples, including the one whom soon betray him. Matthew 20:26-28 reads… “whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wished to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Listen church, this humble gesture of washing the feet of His disciples, was the fitting prelude to the cross, where Jesus would pour out His precious blood for the sins of man.

There on Calvary Jesus humbly bowed before the wrath of God as our selfless suffering servant. Isaiah prophetically explained the crucifixion of our Lord with these words, “Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, by His scourging we are healed” (Isa. 53:4-5). Oh what a selfless humble servant our Savior is. He died for you; will you live for Him? He took the judgment and punishment that our sin deserved and through faith and repentance, He graces us with His forgiveness and righteousness. He painfully died so that we can forever live in comfort and experience His love and grace every day. The widow follows the selfless example of Christ. She’s willing to humble herself for the good and wellbeing of others.

Lastly, according to verse 10, the selfless widows were examples as they assisted those in distress. This phrase in the Greek could be translated “those under pressure.” You’ve been under pressure right? You what that is like? These amazing women were known for helping those who were experiencing various kinds of pressures, whether physical, financial, mental, or even emotional. They were always available to help relieve such pressure. Even willing to sacrificially part with what little they had to help another.

These various qualities that Paul has listed in verses 9 and 10 illustrate God’s good design for all woman. By following the example of these widows, women can surely make a profound impact on the world for Christ. And men, let us too learn from the widow’s humility and selflessness. Let us model their servant heart to our families and friends. Listen men, the godly women in this room have so much to teach us from their selfless examples. I pray you are not ignoring the lives of your spiritual mothers and sisters in this room. The 18th century English theologian John Wesley once declared, “I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from all the theologians in England.” Amen to that!!!! Oh just consider the countless selfless acts that your mother and your wife have shown you and your family. May the Lord help us to learn from them, to follow their lowly and meek example as we serve our great God!

2) Two timeless and universal dangers to constantly guard against (vs. 11-13).

Noticeably, not every widow made the list, for not everyone was qualified to serve in this unique role. Paul writes in verse 11 that there are some widows that Timothy must refuse the right to serve. The word refuse is a strong word. The apostle was adamant about this denial. The same word was used in chapter four verse seven to speak of rejecting false teaching. Paul’s not simply making a suggestion here. Instead, he’s demanding the church adhere to his counsel. Listen, some women, like some men, are simply unqualified to serve as leaders in the Lord’s church. And here in verses 11-13, the apostle gives us a few disqualifications for such leadership. And as we look closely at these three verses, I want to challenge you to see this content in the form of two warnings, or two very real dangers in which we must always be attentive to. The first thing I want you to see here is…

a. The danger of a divided heart.Not every widow was qualified to serve in this capacity because some of their hearts could not be tamed. Notice in verse 11, that Timothy must “refuse to put younger women on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard to Christ.” Paul’s concern was that these younger women would struggle to keep their hearts pure and focused while serving Christ and His church. He worried that they would struggle to keep their commitment to serve as they wrestled with both grief of losing a loving spouse and the strong desire for intimacy with another. The two words sensual desires include not just sexual passion but all that is embodied in the wonderful bonds of marriage. The apostle is simply saying that because their heart is divided, their desire for a husband will eclipse their desire to serve the Lord in an official capacity with all her heart. The Greek in this verse is very graphic. They lengthy phrase feel sensual desires in disregard to is actually just one word in the Greek. It’s a term that is used in extrabiblical literature to describe an ox trying to escape from its yoke. You see there was a real danger that a young widow might desire to escape from her vow of singular devotion to serve the Lord.

Such unfaithfulness was a serious offense to a holy God. Notice Paul adds that such widows risk incurring condemnation, meaning God will chasten or discipline them because they have set aside their previous pledge to serve the Lord alone. Listen church family, as Christians we are all called to be servants (that the message of chapter 4), for we are all called to love and glorify the living sovereign God with all our hearts, mind, and soul. But because sin still lingers in our heart, we are often distracted. We will at times long to shake the yoke off our neck and do our own thing. Let this warning to the widow, be your waning today. God will discipline our wayward hearts. He will chasten our selfish desires. James 1:8 reminds us… “a double minded man, unstable in all his ways.” When our hearts are divided and we are torn between the desire to serve the Lord, and the desire for pleasure, we become completely unstable. Our relationships struggle, our plans get frustrated, we become impatient, unkind, unloving, and intolerable. And sadly, is it not good desires that often trip us up the most? Listen, we are to love our family’s, but if we are not careful we can love them more than we love our God, and when that happens we display a divided heart and are guilty of idolatry. Let me explain… I love my wife, I tell her all the time how much I love her. It’s like I’m afraid she might forget. But there has been times where my wife has seen me struggling in my walk with the Lord, when my priorities get out of whack, and I’ll never forget one time she told be very boldly after I declared my love for her, she said, “I wish you didn’t love me so much.” And by that she meant, I wished you loved God more right now, because when I am striving to love the Lord as I should, guess what, I’m actually a better husband and better father because I am stable. I’m radically more patient, more loving, more kind, and more gracious in nature. Oh, let us learn from our text to guard our hearts from being overly divided and to keep our love for God greater than all other loves. But notice a second warning in our text, which is…

b. The danger of an idled heart. Notice verse 13 again… the apostle wrote, “And at the same time they also learn to be idle. Widows who are not committed to the Lord can easily become idle, meaning lazy, slothful, even useless. Visits that were once set aside for ministry were now simply social in nature. These younger widows simply moved around from house to house as social butterflies offering nothing constructive to the souls they encountered. Listen, as a pastor one of my greatest concerns for our church in our extremely self-centered culture, is that we may become idle and lazy. And part of my concern is because I know idleness faithfully leads to other sins. I’m mean have you not noticed that it is when our brains are idle, that we are tempted the most. And in this case, here in our text, the sin was gossip. The idleness of the young widows led them to speak in sinful ways. Notice, Paul wrote not merely idle but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. Gossip is the sin of speaking nonsense, making empty charges, or accusing with malicious words. Gossip is such a destructive tool of Satan. We often excuse it, treat it lightly, but Scripture never belittles this destructive sin. Yet, notice Paul didn’t stop there. He says these young widows may be easily known as busybodies, a word that literally means “one who moves around.” The implication is a person who sticks their nose into other peoples’ business. Such people long to know and share things that are of no concern to them. In fact, this rare word for busybodies in the Greek is used only one other time in the New Testament, where it was used to refer to those who were practicing magic, such people, according to the Bible were surely guilty of prying into something that was of no concern to them.

Well at the bottom of this downward spiral, Paul concludes that unqualified widows are guilty of talking about things not proper to mention. Rumors, gossip, slander, divisive talk, the list can go on and on of the unfruitful and sinful ways in which we can dialog with one another. Paul is warning Timothy that widows who become idle are in danger of great sinful activity, and that warning must be heard by us all. When our hearts are lazy, when we are not actively maturing ourselves in the faith, we will certainly drift away from God into disastrous sinful patterns. Charles Spurgeon said it well… “The most likely man to go to hell is the man who has nothing to do on earth. Idle people tempt the devil to tempt them.” When we are idle, we open the door to Satan and allow him to come and visit with ourselves. We fellowship with the Devil when our hearts are not occupied with living for the Lord, and enjoying His blessings. Listen, we were created to work and to exhaust ourselves in serving our Lord our Savior. Every night, we should go to bed tired and completely drained from living our lives as sacrifices to our great God. And if you are thinking, that sounds awful or discouraging, then you’ve never actually lived as God designed you to live. For as we give our lives away in joyful worship to our King, He pours out His joy, blessings, grace, and peace upon our lives in ways that are unexplainable. Oh, the great dangers that come with our selfishness, our divided hearts, our idolatry, our idleness, and our sin. But oh, the blessings that come with humility and selflessness, and heart solely given to the Lord. May the Lord wake us up from these dangers this morning and set our hearts ablaze for His glory!

3) The timeless and flawless blueprint of a Christ-honoring home to obey (vs. 14-16).

Though not all of the widows qualified to serve in this special ministry, Paul now instructs the young widows on how should live for the glory of God in their unique situations. Notice that Paul says in verse 14, “therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.” The two words I want was not an expression of a wish or preference, but rather a command. It was a a strong desire of Paul’s heart, that according to the GK, springs from reason and not emotion. This is not an irrational or emotional response to the sin of others, but rather this is the Divine Wisdom of God, that young widows were to become wives, mothers, and managers of their homes. Now that may sound rather sexist or archaic in our modern-day culture. But folks, this is God’s good design for the Christ follower. This is God’s blueprint for most women. I say most, because God does give some women the gift of singleness, but in most cases, what we see in verse 14 is the norm for a woman of saving faith. And church family, it is a GLORIOUS NORM! For in fulfilling these sacred duties at home the younger woman pleases the LORD and removes herself from the temptation of the idler and the busybody.

The apostle is saying that a young widow will serve God and bring Him the most glory by ministering to her family at home, growing in Godliness day-by-day. She is to do this specifically by marrying a God-fearing man. A growing Christian who will love her as Christ sacrificially loved the church. And once she remarries, she is to bear children, have babies, and keep house. Tragically, our contemporary world often views children as an inconvenience, and a financial burden. Such a view to our Great God is nothing but repulsive. The book of Psalms declares that children “a gift of the Lord” (127:3), and further proclaims “How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” (127:5). You see, God desires to richly bless these women as they follow His will for their lives. And notice these widows are to keep house. This short phrase goes beyond raising the children to include all aspects of managing the home. The husband of the wife is to lovingly provide the resources his wife needs to manage the home and care for her husband and children.

But not only should these widows care for their own immediate families, notice verse 16. These widows, along with all women, are to care for their widowed mothers, grandmothers, and family members in her own household. Again, we see how they are to invest their attention, time, wealth, and care to their family. To me this makes sense, because women tend to be far more compassionate than men to meet the various social and household needs of another widow. Men certainly can help with the widow’s financial concerns and with other laborious needs that a widow may have, but women are far better suited to deal with day-to-day care of other women. Such household generosity, according to Paul, would free the church to use its limited funds to maintain its ongoing needs and care for the genuine widows who were left completely alone.

Again and again, the apostle and the Bible remind us of the importance of the home and beauty of God’s blueprint for both gender and family. And I know this biblical truth flies in the face of our culture’s broken worldview of women. I call it broken intentionally, because the world can no longer even define the word woman, much less offer her true and lasting hope. The Bible, on the other hand, bestows upon the woman great value and honor, Scripture highly respects women as a true image bearer of God and guides them to live in a way that reflects the glory of the Father, the humility and selflessness of God’s only Son, and the comforting caring nature of the Holy Spirit. And women reflect the wonder and glory of God most clearly and powerfully in the home. Yet, guess what men, so do we! When we love our wives as Christ loved the church, when we care for our family as the Father, or when we come along side our helpmate, children, physical family, or church family to attend to their spiritual needs, it is in those actions that we most clearly and powerfully bring glory and honor to our God. God’s blueprint for the family may be considered outdated to many, but it is most magnificent because it points us and the world around us to the architect, to the loving, caring, selfless, generous, forgiving, gracious, and glorious God.

Now I will warn you, families who chose to honor God’s blueprint will be questioned and ridiculed in our world. When families make the sacrificial decision for a mom to stay at home in order to raise their children, or when the mom decides to retire early to take care of aging parents, the greedy world and perhaps some in the church, will question those decisions greatly. They may even counsel you to get back to work. But may I encourage you this morning. The sacrifice is worth it. I realize not everyone can financially survive on one income for a season, but may I also say, most of us can live with far less than we would ever dare to admit. And God honors the sacrifice because it reflects His selfless heart to the world, which is most evident in the work of His Son on the cross.

That is what I believe Paul is emphasizing here at the end of verse 14 and through verse 15. You may have noticed, I skipped over those words, and I did so intentionally to end with them. Notice, the apostle writes that in prioritizing the home women give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan. The enemy in which Paul refers to here, encompasses any opponent of the Word of God. And Paul says, don’t give them an occasion, that word refers to a launching point for an attack, or a base of operations. By remarrying, a young widow will avoid bringing reproach against Christ. She will avoid falling into sexual sin or embracing a perversion of God’s intended role for women. Conversely, those who ignore God’s good design give great amounts of ammunition to the enemies of the church.

This was a very timely warning to the church at Ephesus, for we have already seen that some of the members had shipwrecked their faith and tragically turned away from the church. Some were beginning to follow Satan and the false doctrine of demons. No doubt, some widows were apart of those who walked away from the truth. Some may have decided to marry unbelievers and abandoned their faith as they began to follow the religious practices of their new husbands. Such women, according to Paul, were no longer following Christ but were following Satan.

Church family, please listen to me… in this world, you are either following Christ or you are following Satan. The Bible is abundantly clear on that reality. There is no middle ground. You are with walking in fellowship with Christ, or you are walking in fellowship with Satan. Jesus proclaimed this truth in His Sermon on the Mount, He said in Matthew 7:13-14… “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” What a clear and powerful picture Jesus gives us. There are two gates, two roads, two crowds, and two destinations. One gate is wide containing a broad road. Its surely an easy and attractive choice. It is not restrictive in anyway. The broad road accommodates most people and allows much personal space to do whatever you please, and it allows to carry as much idolatrous baggage that you desire. Yet such a life, though initially pleasing to the eye, leads to ruin and destruction. You see even though the ultimate destination of that path is hell, the journey itself will ultimately ruin your life all together. Your sin that flows from your self-seeking heart will slowly destroy your relationships, it will cost you much frustration, foster impatience, ingratitude, and make you a very divisive person. Sadly, most of our world, some of our families and friends chose that easy path.

But there is yet graciously given another way. The narrow gate and road that Jesus spoke of in Matt 7, refers to Jesus’ teaching. To walk this path is to choose Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life. It demands faith and repentance, the turning away from the broad path and the sin that keeps you there. To stay on this wonderful path, demands that you enter the small gate. You see salvation and life are found in no one else but Jesus. Therefore, all other religions and pseudo saviors certainly will lead you to destruction and are the gate that leads to the broad road. Oh, how we must travel this narrow way to find life. The word narrow is rather interesting in verse 14, its actually a different GK word than what Jesus uses in verse 13. In verse 13, Jesus spoke of a narrow gate, meaning a small gate, but here in verse 14, Jesus speaks of the narrow way. This Greek word does not mean small, but rather oppressive, implying hardships, and persecution. You see, this narrow path is no other than the way of the cross. It’s the path that Jesus walked for both you and me as we set His eyes on Calvary and the glory that was set before Him. Because this narrow road leads to life. Oh its painful to travel, its challenging and hard, but the end result is abundant and eternal life. There is nothing more fulfilling in this world than to walk with Jesus. By taking up your cross, dying to your selfish desires, loving God with all your heart, guarding yourself from the dangers of idleness, and being faithful to all God calls us to in the Word. In such actions we find hope, joy, peace, grace, mercy, and love. Our lives begin to reflect Christ and we grow humble, gentle, patient, loving, kind, gracious and generous. Understand church family, that Jesus’ death on the cross didn’t just secure the salvation of the elect, but it directs us in the only way that leads to life. We are called to take up our cross, endure the oppression and persecution that will come as we live for the glory of God. And in doing so, we find grace upon grace, mercy upon mercy, and hope upon hope. This is the timeless counsel of the Word of God!

I love the old hymn by Fannie Crosby, Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross… The third verse always hits me. It reads… “Near the cross! O lamb of God, Bring its scenes before me; Help me walk from day to day With its shadow o'er me. In the cross, in the cross Be my glory ever, Till my ransomed soul shall find Rest beyond the river.” Oh, that God would help us live day by day in the shadow of the cross. That we would remember that we are forgiven made righteous and that we would learn from the humble Savior, the lamb of God, and live our lives in like fashion!

Let me simply close this morning by challenging you to think about your life. Does your life reflect a selfless servant? Do you keep watch over your heart? Do you guard it from the dangers of being divided, and danger of idleness? Do your priorities at home reflect God’s blueprint for the home? And, lastly, and perhaps most importantly, which path are traveling this morning? Are you following the way of the cross, or are you following Satan? If you are not traveling the narrow way, I beg you to consider the cross this morning, to weigh and measure your life by it. As a loving brother, I implore you to turn from your sin, believe in Jesus, and adhere to His teaching. For He longs to give you life this morning. Please, don’t leave here till you have seriously considered the way of the cross. If you need someone to pray with you this morning, know our elders and ministry leaders are available, if you are not sure who those are, simply go to the welcome desk in the foyer and ask the volunteer to introduce you to one and they would be glad to do so… Pray with me.