BEING A LOVING FRIEND

John 15:12-15 (ESV) “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

I. Introduction

With all that is going on around us, and the challenges we face in our lives, there are times that you need to be reassured that you don’t have to face your challenges alone. But more importantly, there are times you need a someone that you know truly loves you. Sometimes you need a true friend.

What is a friend? (philos): a person you know well and regard with affection and trust.

What defines and best describes a “friendship” is the attitudes, actions, and qualities of the relationship. What do you look for in a true loving friend? How do you know that a friendship is true? Our text reveals four important characteristics of a true loving friend and a true loving friendship.

Jesus spoke these words to his disciples on their way to Gethsemane after their last meal together. (ch.13-14).

a) Jesus told them that he would be betrayed by one of them;

b) Jesus gave them a new commandment, to love one another, as he loved them and as the Father loved him;

c) He informed his disciples that he would be leaving them. They were confused and did not understand.

d) (ch.13) Let not your hearts be trouble. Believe in God, believe also in me.

e) (ch.14) I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.

After supper, as they were walking to Gethsemane, Jesus continued to reassure his disciples of their relationship with him. [and] The main point Jesus stressed over and over was that they love each other as he loved them. Jesus was consistently directing his disciples to love one another because this was the evidence that they loved him, and in turn, God would love them.

Jesus told his disciples, “You are my friends..” Jesus was continuing to reassurance them that his leaving them was not the end of their relationship. Jesus knew these men’s souls, i.e., their hopes, fears, doubts, anger, disappointments, joy, sadness, but he also knew their purpose.

II. The most important characteristics of a true friend is true love. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Love is the basis for any true friend/friendship and from that love the other characteristics evolve. The love of a true friend is personal (the object of your love is the other person, not yourself). It’s personal because:

a) it is intimate (a deep and thorough trusting relationship):

b) it is sacrificial. (the surrender of something for the sake of something else)

c) it is reciprocal. (activity or state that involves two parties equally)

d) it is kind, i.e., gentle, compassionate, patient.

There is a distinction between a “best friend” and a “true friend”.

III. A second characteristic is faithfulness. A friend that truly loves you is faithful. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

a) faithfulness: it is a state of personal dedication to something or someone, which results in actively promoting and working for their good and well-being.

b) faithfulness to one another is typically joined with steadfast love.

c) Lamentations 3:22–23: The steadfast love of the Lordnever ceases; his mercies never come to an end; 23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

d) Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; and those who fear the Lord will find them.

IV. A third characteristic is loyalty. A friend that truly loves you is loyal. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.

a) loyalty: the trust and faithfulness that people pledge to and expect from each other in a relationship. b) A true friend will be there for you, when you need them. Likewise, you will be there for them.

V. The fourth characteristic is trustfulness. A friend that truly loves you is trustful. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

trustfulness: That quality of truthfulness and dependability which rewards faith. trustfulness: the character trait of trusting; of believing in the honesty, reliability, and certainty of others; having the quality of truthfulness and dependability.

a) A friend is trustful when you can commit to them with confidence (honesty). This confident manifest itself through the sharing of one’s soul.

(ex.) David and Jonathan: 1 Samuel 18:1–4 (ESV) 1 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.

(ex.) Ruth and Naomi: Ruth 1:16- But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

b) Jesus elevates his disciples to permanent state of new dignity.

c) As Jesus changes the relationship between him and his disciples, His death changed the relationship between God and those who believe in Christ, through justification and adoption.

VI. Conclusion Jesus loved his disciples and called them friends, as a believer, he loves you and is your friend. a) Jesus is faithful: “7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, askwhatever you wish, and it will be done for you b) Jesus is loyal: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” c) Jesus is trustful: you can share your real self with him with confidence and assurance.

No, Not One There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus, No, not one None else could heal all our soul’s diseases, No, not one No friend like Him is so high and holy, No, not one And yet no friend is so meek and lowly, No, not one Jesus knows all about our struggles, He will guide till the day is done There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus, No, not one, No, not one.

That Kind of Friend If you ever, need a friend That sticks closer, than any brother, I recommend Jesus… Because he's that kind of friend. He will never, never forsake you. Even though he knows, everything there is to know about you I recommend Jesus…Because he's that kind of friend. He'll walk right in front of you, to always protect you. So the devil - can do you no harm. He is faithful every day, to help you along the way… If within your heart, you take him in, a new life will begin because He's that kind of friend.