Sermon Tone Analysis
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*Anatomy of Forgiveness—Part #2*
*Healthy Boundaries In Tough or Toxic Relationships*
*11-16-08*
Review Last Week
· */This week going to talk an area I find myself ministering to people on all the time in forgiveness/*
*/ /*
In Pastoring—many times working with people
· Navigating the road of forgiveness
· Not always easy
Forgiveness can be a confusing thing for believers
· Many Christians think forgiveness EQUALS restoration
· Rightly so
· Describe what happens between us and God
And many, MANY times this will play out in other relationships
· In fact, in safe, loving, healthy relationships
· Forgiveness is INTENDED to reunite us
· Strengthen bonds of friendship
· Open doors for close relationship
In fact, many times God will take a broken place
· And through forgiveness make a relationship closer than its ever been
*But what about forgiving TOUGH people?*
· People who don’t want forgiveness
· Never acknowledge their faults
· Don’t change
*How about people*
· Who are beyond difficult
· Cruel
· Toxic
Want to talk about *Anatomy of Forgiveness—Part #2*
*Healthy Boundaries In Tough or Toxic Relationships*
*Ps 16*
As we work through the anatomy of forgiveness
· Want to take some time to look at how forgiveness works with tough situations
· You see—God’s heart is that forgiveness would be a path to relationship
After all:
· Beautiful thing when forgiveness moves into RESTORATION
· Wronged—repent~/forgiveness—restoration
· *Hard when*—example
*DEFINITIONS:*
*What Forgiveness IS*
· Last week’s definition
Forgiveness Defined
· Hebrew word: ‘absolve’, ‘release fully’—more of the time translated ‘forgive’.
· More often it is translated ‘bear up’ and ‘lift up’
So what does forgiveness do?
· *Lifts our Sins off of our lives*
· Develop
· Sin—Burden—last week
· PARDON
· Choice~/Act of will
*Forgiveness IS*
· *Choice*
· *Decision*
· *Releasing from Judgment*
· *Sometimes a Process*
Forgiveness can take time—layers
· Dean Smith
o Loved his honesty of process
*What Forgiveness Is NOT*
What forgiveness isn’t
· *A FEELING*—it isn’t a decision you make when you FEEL like it (that can happen)—but forgiveness is a CHOICE
· *Isn’t saying that what happened was RIGHT *(SB)
· *Trust*—
o When forgiveness happens
o Foundation for trust to be built
o In HEALTHY Relationships—trust should be RESTORED immediately—in most situations
o In tough situations—takes time—but it can happen
· *Intimacy*—though if intimacy is going to happen—forgiveness has to be a part of navigating life
· For those that are working through an extremely abusive situations—it isn’t a license that the other person will have access to your life—*SPHERES OF CLOSENESS*
o rape
o God CAN do that when hearts are willing to take the journey
o Certain situations—Dean Smith
o Apostle Paul
§ Early life—persecuted—not trusted
§ Too time
§ You put my dad in prison . . . .
!
*In forgiveness situation always at least two different parties*
* *
*Each side has Personal Responsibility: *
· Define
· Too many times think we’re responsible for how they respond
· This is very common in areas of FORGIVENESS
Responsible to obey
· To forgive—instructed to do so by Jesus
Problem: too many people—especially Christians
· Take on something God HIMSELF doesn’t take on!
· Free will—God respects
· Gives opportunity for relationships
· We don’t—think we are responsible for others decisions—messes us up!
Look how this plays out in healthy forgiveness
· BOTH sides make choices
· Repent—forgive
* *
· *Define Ideal Model of Forgiveness:*
o Repent~/forgive~/restore
o That’s the ideal way it happens
o But sometimes people don’t respond in the IDEAL way
In fact, in our TOUGH Relationships
· *You can repent—and they won’t forgive * (SHORT STORY)
o If they don’t forgive—then leave it at their feet
o Sometimes, then we have to walk out the ‘fruit’ of repentance’ in your life and whatever further relationship you have with the other person
o There MIGHT be restoration of relationship in the future
o But there might not be
o HOWEVER, /because you were OBEDIENT and walking in righteous fruit—you can walk with a FREEDOM over this issue/
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