APOL550 - Confessions Reflection Journals

Instruction

Augustine’s Confessions and your overall experience with the course and material as you wrestle with the proper way to understand faith and reason and the importance of this relationship for the Christian life. There is a significant amount of research that shows the benefits of reflection for learning and retaining information and ideas, so these journals not only give you the opportunity to express your thoughts about what you are studying and your journey through this course, but will also help you better understand and incorporate these ideas into your way of thinking about Christian faith.

INSTRUCTIONS The goal of this assignment is for you to reflect each week on the material you are studying and on your own experience as you progress through this course.

1- You should take time to reflect specifically on the weekly reading from Augustine’s Confessions and how this contributes to your understanding of faith, reason, and the relationship of the two.

2- You can address how this and other course readings influenced your thinking on these concepts as well as express your insights, frustrations, and joys from your own experience as you have journeyed through this course and material.

Each reflection journal entry should be limited to 400 words. Just because each weekly entry is relatively short, that does not mean that they should not be substantive. You are expected to be thoughtful and to effectively demonstrate your interaction with the course and materials. This will force you to not only think through what you want to say but also to be clear and concise in your word choice (an important skill for any apologist).

Even though these entries are somewhat informal, you should still use graduate level writing skills, proper grammar, and current Turabian formatting. Each journal entry will be submitted as a separate Word document in the appropriate location for that module.

Book 1

Through reading Book 1 of Augustine’s Confessions I have come to ponder a number of concepts that strengthen my desire to learn, become studious, and develop my mind for the glory of God. One of these concepts is reflecting on my youth and my own negligence to study, yet the Providence of the Holy Spirit that was upon my life to bring me out of that negligence and instill in me a hunger for truth, for knowledge, and wisdom; eventually leading me to a saving faith in Jesus Christ. Augustine writes, “And yet we sinned, in writing or reading or studying less than was exacted of us. For we wanted not, O Lord, memory or capacity, whereof Thy will gave enough for our age; but our sole delight was play; and for this we were punished by those who yet themselves were doing the like” Augustine, Book 1 Chapter IX). For Augustine, the idea of playing over studying in the way in which he did was a sin against God. Through his reflections (Book X and Book XVII especially) we read of his regret for the way in which he acted as a youth and his disdain for study and preference for play. The way he phrases his thoughts aligns very well with what we are learning in Moreland and Craig’s works. The development of the mind is extraordinarily important, especially in the day and age we live in. It seems that very basic aspects of human language, grammar, and the ability to read are deteriorating rapidly. As Moreland expounded upon in his book, this deterioration in turn affects the Church’s ability to witness properly to the world, defend the faith, and even understand the very truths God has revealed to us through His Word. A foundation of education is required to more completely understand the Word of God and it’s implications for our lives, the world, and our relationship with God. As we study more and develop a discipline of developing proper thinking, we not only honor God but we equip ourselves with the necessary tools to defend the faith of Christ to an ever increasing godless generation. After reading Augustine’s Book 1 of his Confessions and Moreland’s work on loving God with our minds, I am extremely eager to develop my habit of study in a purposeful and central manner in my life.

Book 2

After reading Book 2 of Augustine’s Confessions I have been reflecting more on my own past and my own disobedience to God in the early years of my life. Growing up in a secular atheistic household outside of San Francisco with no known believers in my extended family, I was very sheltered away from anything relating to Christ and the gospel. I actually didn’t know the basic gospel until I was 21 years old. Early in my life there was a great deal of sin that I thought was actually normal because those around me all did the same. However, once I was saved and gave my life to Christ, in an enormously powerful moment I was weeping in sorrow and shame for all the sin I had committed against Him, but instantly forgiven and flooded with love. This was only moments I decided to intellectually commit and believe that Jesus Christ is God and He truly died for my sins and rose again from the dead. Upon deciding to believe that and have faith in Christ, this supernatural born again experience resulted. Reading through Augustine’s Confessions I am reminded of all the godly sorry that filled my life the months after my conversion and the repentance that it truly brought in me. Things I used to think were cool, were suddenly things I felt sorry for ever doing. Through this process God began to sanctify and purify my heart into what it is today, which is almost unrecognizable from my previous self. I love how Augustine is so public about His sentiments to God and authentic in his writing. It inspires me to continue pondering, reflecting, and even journaling my sentiments to the Lord because there is great power in that. We must analyze and hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ to ensure our hearts stay pure in Him. Purity of heart is something that pours through the pages of Augustine’s Confessions. I love in Book 2 Chapter VI how he listed all the things people of the world seek, yet not knowing the greatest things are all found Christ. Sin is truly deceitful. And truth is beautiful.

Book 3

Upon reading Book 3 of Augustines I was reminded more thoroughly of my multi-year stint in new age heresies before my arrival at the knowledge of Christ. As Augustine reflects on his journey’s through Cicero’s Greek philosophy and the sect of Manichaeans, he frequently reflected upon his lack of discernment and the faults of each worldview that he had at one time adopted. In Chapter VI he even mentions how the name of Jesus Christ was frequently used by the Manichaeans, but truth was not found in their heart. Similarly, my stint in the new age had be believing Jesus Christ was just some ascended master or enlightened man instead of the Creator Himself. Slightly over 3 years ago I had been deep into new age teachings, eventually traveling to China, Thailand, and Bali, Indonesia to further my spiritual pursuits of eastern spiritually, only to give it a modern twist to bolster my spiritual pride and confidence in my heretical beliefs. Similar to Augustine, I now reflect and see how prideful and lost I was in those days. Having no sense of Christ, unlike Augustine whose mother prayed for him and even sought the council of a bishop who advised her to simply pray for Augustine and that he will need to come to his own realization of his heretical beliefs (as mentioned in Chapter XII), I had no family members of the faith who prayed for me. I am the first of my family to come to the Lord, but not the last praise God. I enjoy reading the Confessions of Augustine because it reminds me deeply of the journals I wrote in the days following my rebirth. His heart for God, authenticity, and level of reflection is inspiring and refreshing to read and engage with.

Book 4-5

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 2

the bargain of a lustful love, where children are born against their parents’ will

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 1

For what am I to myself without Thee, but a guide to mine own downfall?

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 6

wretched is every soul bound by the friendship of perishable things

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 12

Stand with Him, and ye shall stand fast. Rest in Him, and ye shall be at rest

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 12

Ye seek a blessed life in the land of death; it is not there. For how should there be a blessed life where life itself is not?

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 15

in Thee there is no variableness, neither shadow of change

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 14

For though I took no pains to learn what he spake, but only to hear how he spake (for that empty care alone was left me, despairing of a way, open for man, to Thee), yet together with the words which I would choose, came also into my mind the things which I would refuse; for I could not separate them

Books 6 and 7

The Confessions of St. Augustine Chapter 1

She believed in Christ, that before she departed this life, she should see me a Catholic believer