Knowing Each Other

GETTING ALONG

Part 1: Knowing Each Other

Matthew 25:31-46

Matthew 25:40 And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

How do we get along with other people? Many think that we should simply, “go along to get along”, but is that really all there is to it? Even in that phrase, there is an assumption of compromise. We know that we can’t always compromise to get along as Christians (definitely not with the Truth). So, how do we work together toward “unity of the faith” while having patience and longsuffering and affection for each other?

This is especially needed for me, as I tend to think of myself as an introvert. So all that I’m saying, keep in mind I am directing it to myself as well.

Three basic things in this series: we need to KNOW each other, APPRECIATE each other, and SHOW GOD to each other.

God wants us to Know Him and to Know each other.

God communicates to us: “KNOW me”, “SEEK me”. Prov. 8:17; Jer. 29:13; Acts 17:27

Prov. 8:17 “I love those who love me, And those who seek me diligently will find me.”

Jer. 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Acts 17:27 “so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;”

Remember, beloved, that you are never so far from God that you cannot turn to Him.

If we cannot approach God, how can we approach His people?

We must also know each other. 1 Peter 4:8-10; 2 Cor. 6:11-13; Col. 4:12

1 Peter 4:8-10 “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

This is about building a RELATIONSHIP.

When we obey God to salvation, a relationship is established.

However, when it comes to building a relationship with other people, it takes longer. Imperfection and sin are at work in our lives, and it takes time to weed through that and get to KNOW someone.

The reverse can occur, wherein we think we are close to God while distancing ourselves from our fellow Christians.

2 Cor. 6:11-13 “O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.”

We have to be willing to work together and strengthen our relationships!

Col. 4:12 “Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.”

Can we get to heaven without wanting to know God’s people?

The only way we can know each other is through logic and reason.

We cannot read hearts. Jn. 2:24-25

John 2:24-25 “But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.”

We might claim a disadvantage because we can’t know the hearts of others like Jesus did.

On the other hand, we might in our actions claim such a thing! Assuming motives, playing the “blame game”, etc. can be indications that I am

However, we can see actions. Phil. 2:19-24; Acts 16:15; Rom. 12:2; 1 Cor. 11:19

Philippians 2:19-24 “But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel. Therefore I hope to send him at once, as soon as I see how it goes with me. But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.”

Paul recommended Timothy based upon the actions Timothy had displayed - NOT by reading his mind or thoughts.

Acts 16:15 “And when she and her household were baptized, she begged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” So she persuaded us.”

Lydia was judged faithful based upon her obedience to the Gospel - NOT by the reading of her mind.

Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

ESV “by testing you may discern”

1 Corinthians 11:19 “For there must also be factions among you, that those who are approved may be recognized among you.”

(ESV) for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.

We take risks when we let someone into our lives.

Are the risks worth it? Rom. 1:9-12; 1 Cor. 16:16-18; 1 Thess. 2:17

Rom. 1:9-12 “For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of His Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers, making request if, by some means, now at last I may find a way in the will of God to come to you. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift, so that you may be established—that is, that I may be encouraged together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me.”

1 Cor. 16:16-18 “that you also submit to such, and to everyone who works and labors with us. I am glad about the coming of Stephanas, Fortunatus, and Achaicus, for what was lacking on your part they supplied. For they refreshed my spirit and yours. Therefore acknowledge such men.”

1 Thess. 2:17 “But we, brethren, having been taken away from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored more eagerly to see your face with great desire.”

Paul took great risk in letting himself into the lives of saint. He suffered attacks because of the trust he gave, but the benefits were manifold!

There are some with whom we may have to build special boundaries. Matt. 10:16; Acts 15:37-40

Matt. 10:16 ““Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

Acts 15:37-40 “Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God.”

That said, we always follow God’s commands in determining those boundaries! 3 Jn. 9-12

3 Jn. 9-12 “I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church. Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has a good testimony from all, and from the truth itself. And we also bear witness, and you know that our testimony is true.”

Can we know God’s people without taking the time to see who they really are, and allow others to see the same about us?

Knowing Each Other Allows Us To Be Genuine.

The early Christians spent a vast amount of time with each other. Acts 2:46-47

Acts 2:46-47 “So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.”

This was a special time when converted Jews who had traveled to Jerusalem for Pentecost needed to stay longer to listen to the doctrine of the Apostles.

Even so, what an example for us to reach toward.

Have you known a church that acts this way? Maybe more accurate to ask, have you known Christians who act this way? Do our own members act this way? If not, how can we change that?

This was not done by choosing their cliques and sticking to them only. This was done by each person reaching out to others.

Again, we are not trying to say that we must spend every waking moment together; however, our time together must be a priority in our lives.

Consider how much of a challenge this must be for large congregations. Small congregations should have no problem with this, yet we will go through our lives barely knowing each other.

Our “knowing” must be genuine.

This was what 1st Century Christians were exhorted to do. Phil. 2:3-4; Jn. 10:14

Philippians 2:3-4 “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

In some churches, this is attempted by including a part of worship where the members “greet” each other. Usually this is stale, forced, and fake.

Christians ought to be more real, more genuine! It takes more time and effort than just our services together to really know each other.

Especially important for an eldership.

Jn. 10:14 “I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.”

What would your reaction be if a member showed up unannounced at your front door to say hello? Maybe they haven’t been to your house before? Would you take offense?

There was a time when people sat on their front porches in the hopes that someone would pass by and they would be able to visit with them.

Surely Christians can be a people who make the effort to spend time with each other in a genuine way.

Fakeness will endanger our work together, and keep it from being what it should be.

“I’m fine” can be a true and proper response, but “my day hasn’t gone well” can be just as true and just as proper!

You owe it to yourself to allow your brothers and sisters in Christ to know you!

What if we don’t like what we see? What if they don’t like what they see about ME?

Go back to Philippians 2!

Knowing each other will present opportunities.

For praise and edification

We should appreciate the good in others, and see their Godly qualities.

This can be a challenge to see at times, and it takes a discipline of pushing past what might annoy us to see the reflected light of Christ within someone.

We need to make sure that others know that we APPRECIATE them, and also WHY we appreciate them!

Paul praised others because he knew them. 1 Cor. 11:2

1 Corinthians 11:2 “Now I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you.”

For correction and rebuke. Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Cor. 11:22

When we see an element of ungodliness and sin in the lives of others, we can help direct them to the truth of their condition.

Problems in others are usually easy to see, but hard to correct. It takes courage to tell someone when they are wrong.

When we are approached about ungodliness and sin in our lives, we can listen with grace and mercy, and honestly consider what we are told.

Listen to the brothers and sisters who attempt to love and correct you.

You don’t have to agree with them, but take the time afterward to reflect. Is what they said true?

If it’s not true, then follow up with them and show them why it isn’t true.

If it is true, follow up with them. If you need help with correcting it, ask for that help.

Easy to say these things, but this is exactly why we have passages like Matthew 18:15-17.

Jesus did not teach this so that we can wave it in each other’s faces when we get something wrong!

He taught it so that we learn to be willing, honest, and open with our fellow citizens in the Kingdom of Christ.

Paul rebuked others because he knew them. 1 Cor. 11:22

1 Corinthians 11:22 “What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you.”

The “risk” of rebuke is worth it for the benefit of being saved in Christ!

For love and grace. 1 Cor. 13:7; Mk. 9:50; Eph. 4:1-3

I have to trust that my brothers and sisters have my best interests at heart. If I don’t, it means I don’t love them.

1 Cor. 13:7 “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Not a blind ignorance of problems. We have clear examples of brethren being held to account.

We need to continually show love and grace toward each other, scripturally defined and practiced.

Mark 9:50 “Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another.””

Eph. 4:1-3 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Knowing each other will ease our work together.

A local congregation is a body - it works better when all members are working toward the same goals.

Our collective goal is to show others who Jesus is, first of all by our behavior. John 13:35

John 13:35 “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.””

It takes time to work toward this goal, because we are not all going to be pulling in the same direction at first.

We have to come to KNOW each other to progress in our work as Christians.

Our refining is an individual and collective process. Eph. 4:11-16

Eph. 4:11-16 “And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”

We can’t hope to immediately have perfect unity of purpose and goals - We must be willing to work together on it!

GETTING ALONG

Part 2: Appreciating Each Other

Matthew 25:31-46

Matthew 25:40 And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

How do we get along with other people? Many think that we should simply, “go along to get along”, but is that really all there is to it? Even in that phrase, there is an assumption of compromise. We know that we can’t always compromise to get along as Christians (definitely not with the Truth). So, how do we work together toward “unity of the faith” while having patience and longsuffering and affection for each other?

Three basic things: we need to KNOW each other, APPRECIATE each other, and SHOW GOD to each other.

I. We need Appreciation.

A. The Bible equivalent of appreciation is Honor, or Praise.

1. Honor - “a valuing by which the price is fixed” (Thayer’s)

2. Praise - “estimate of worth” (ISBE)

3. A way of valuing or assessing things.

4. Matthew 13:57b "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household."

5. Appreciation of SOULS is far different from appreciating THINGS.

6. Romans 2:7 to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life;

7. Romans 13:3 For the rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the bad. And do you desire to be not afraid of the authority? Do the good, and you shall have praisefrom it.

B. God desires to appreciate His faithful

1. This is the kind of appreciation we should want above all else.

2. Romans 2:29 But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.

3. 1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

4. Jesus appreciated others - John 1:47 (Nathaniel), Luke 7:2-9 (Centurion), Mark 12:41-44 (a widow), Mark 14:6-8 (woman who anointed Christ), Luke 10:38-44 (Mary, for choosing the “good part”).

C. God expects His children to appreciate each other

1. As Paul did: 1 Corinthians 11:2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.

2. 2 Corinthians 7:11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.

3. 1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

II. WHY should we appreciate others?

A. Because of Brotherhood

1. Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

B. Because of our work

1. 1 Timothy 5:17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

2. Proverbs 31:30-31 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (31) Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

3. 1 Thess. 4:9-12 - It should be our nature to work quietly, and have the appreciation of God in this.

C. Because we are all the same.

1. Romans 10:12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him.

2. Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

D. Because we are all different.

1. Mark 3:13-19 - Consider the choosing of the Apostles. All very different people, from different walks of life.

2. Such is the same for us! We need to be willing to let go of our societal and cultural boundaries, and embrace the unity that Jesus wants us to have.

3. If Jesus could pull the Apostles together, and in the end make them function as they eventually do in Acts, then surely He can bring us together!

III. Priorities of Appreciation - most important to remember

A. Be Genuine

1. David and Jonathan - a genuine brotherhood friendship.

2. 1 Sam. 20:16-17 - This is a manifestation of the true command, “love your neighbor as yourself”!

3. This was not a “put on”, or a show - Jonathan truly loved David. Such should be our love for each other.

B. Remember God’s Fellowship

1. 2 John 9-11, 1 Cor. 11:22- Not everyone is to be praised!

2. We appreciate evil by standing against it.

C. Have Love in your heart

1. We must “take stock” in each other, and understand that every soul has value. If not, then love is not in out hearts.

2. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

From ISBE: 2. With Man as Its Object:

Man may be the object of praise, and may receive it either from God or from his fellow-men. In the former case (Rom_2:29; 1Co_4:5) the praise is inevitably just, as resting on a divine estimate of worth; in the latter case its value depends upon the grounds and motives that lie behind it. There is a praise which is itself a condemnation (Luk_6:26), an honor which seals the eyes in unbelief (Joh_5:44), a careless use of the epithet “good” which is dishonoring to God (Luk_18:19). This is the “praise of men” which Jesus warned His followers to shun as being incompatible with the “praise of God” (Mat_6:1-4; compare Joh_12:43; Gal_1:10; 1Th_2:6). On the other hand, there is a praise that is the instinctive homage of the soul to righteousness (Luk_23:47), the acknowledgment given to well-doing by just government (Rom_13:3; 1Pe_2:14), the tribute of the churches to distinguished Christian service (2Co_8:18). Such praise, so far from being incompatible with the praise of God, is a reflection of it in human consciousness; and so Paul associates praise with virtue as an aid and incentive to holy living on which the mind should dwell (Phi_4:8).

GETTING ALONG

Part 3: Showing God to Each Other

Matthew 25:31-46

Matthew 25:40 And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

How do we get along with other people? Many think that we should simply, “go along to get along”, but is that really all there is to it? Even in that phrase, there is an assumption of compromise. We know that we can’t always compromise to get along as Christians (definitely not with the Truth). So, how do we work together toward “unity of the faith” while having patience and longsuffering and affection for each other?

Three basic things: we need to KNOW each other, APPRECIATE each other, and SHOW GOD to each other.

I. Our Example is Important.

A. Easy for Satan to get us to dismiss it.

1. Cain concerning Abel - “am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen. 4:9).

2. “They won’t listen to me”, “They don’t care about my input anyway”, “I don’t know them well enough”

3. No matter who you are - young/old, man/woman, these thoughts can come about to all of us.

4. The reality is, what we do matters. We have seen throughout this series that our actions become EXTREMELY important when we consider our effect on brothers and sisters.

5. Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

6. We worry often about young people falling under negative influence. We must remember that it is not always external forces giving them this influence! It can just as easily be US!

B. We will be judged in how we use our influence.

1. In many ways, it is a WEAPON.

2. Matthew 5:13-16 - Where is our light shining, and in what way is it shining?

3. We cannot avoid this responsibility. Others will see the way we live our lives, and especially in an atmosphere such as within our congregation, our responsibility is to show God to each other.

C. Remember your example.

1. Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

2. There is power in our example! It can help or hurt a situation so much.

3. 1 Thessalonians 1:2-8 - How does Paul know their “election”? By their work together, and how that example has been “sounded out”!

4. 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

5. 1 Corinthians 5:6-8 - Paul was concerned with the example that the brethren in Corinth were setting by ignoring sin in their camp.

6. James 1:23-24 - We can FORGET our example!

II. Why does God give us Examples?

A. To Teach us to do Right

1. The books of the Bible were written to give us examples of righteousness.

2. Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

3. This is in regards to the O.T, but the same can certainly apply for ALL Scripture!

4. 2 Kings 23:1-8 - Consider the righteous example of Josiah!

B. To Show us the Right Attitude

1. The books of the Bible were written to tell us directly what to do, but also show us the right attitude of doing what God has commanded.

2. 1 Peter 3:15-16 - We are to give a reason for the hope in us with “meekness and fear”.

3. 2 Thessalonians 3:15 Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

4. Ezra 10:1 - Ezra’s actions had a real, genuine effect upon the people, and they eventually did what was right.

C. To Warn us to Avoid Sin.

1. The books of the Bible were written to show us how to avoid temptation, and thereby avoid sin.

2. Ezekiel 22:30-31 - The clearest example that God has shown us in Scripture is that of Israel.

III. Our Example Indicates our Mindset.

A. What do my actions indicate?

1. Philippians 3:17 Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.

2. Others can see signs of whether my walk in God is genuine or not.

3. Children will pick up on it quicker than anyone.

4. Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

5. The greatest way we can “provoke” others can be our blameless example!

B. Am I flippant about my responsibilities as a Christian?

1. 2 Thessalonians 3:6-9 - In what way was Paul an example to the Thessalonian brethren? He was not giving them commands that he himself would never do! It is always a team effort!

2. Souls are in the balance!

3. 2 Timothy 2:17-18 - Faith can be overthrown!

4. Proverbs 13:10 By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.