The Mystery of Marriage (Part 1)

I. Introduction

As we continue to look at Biblical Marriage and Family, I want to direct your attention to the letter called “Ephesians” in our Bibles.

Written by the apostle Paul about 59-61 AD, this circular letter was written to teach the saints of: their calling by God in Christ, the doctrines of Christ set forth for their spiritual growth and learning, and their new position in Christ.

As a result, beginning in Eph 4:1, the apostle Paul begins to instruct the saints on how to practically live out the Word in all of their relationships.

Today we begin to look at Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33.

We want to understand what the Lord wants our marriages to look like. We are only going to concentrate on one verse today which is Ephesians 5:22.

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Look at what the apostle Paul says in Ephesians 4:

Ephesians 4:1–3 ESV

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Soon after, Paul writes:

Ephesians 4:17–24 ESV

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 5:17–18 ESV

17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

Ephesians 5:19–21 ESV

19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary Excursus 7: Household Code

The present context is very much related to the previous context, for only believers filled by the Spirit are able to please the Lord by fulfilling their duties and are able to live blameless lives in close and continual contact with their family or employment relationships

II. Wives are to be submitting.

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

BDAG Definition: submit - subject oneself, be subjected or subordinated, obey: Of submission involving recognition of an ordered structure, w. dat. of the entity to whom/which appropriate respect is shown.

Colossians 3:18 ESV

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Titus 2:5 ESV

5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

A. to your own husband

Notice what it does not say:

It does not instruct the husband to subject her or make her submit!