Unique Family

Marriage Joke

My wife told me recently that I have two major faults. I don’t listen and…something else.

Supposedly, 64,454,957 people got married last year. That’s a lot of people.

I don’t want to start any problems, but I feel like that should be an even number…haha

Just some fun to wake us up this morning.

today we are closing out our series on the beliefs that shape us as a unique people.

each doctrine shapes us in unique ways and the whole collection is interconnected to form us as an uncommon people in this world.

so as we look at a topic today that is hotly debated in our culture, we cannot forget where we have been.

Preface to a Challenging Topic

Before we dive in today, I want to acknowledge a couple of things.

One, the topics of marriage, family, gender, and sexuality are hot button topics in our world, which have the tendency to prompt strong and emotional responses either in favor of what is being said or in opposition to what is being said.

This message is not intended to promote any particular political agenda or worldview, but, as we have established from the beginning of this series, we as a believers in Jesus and as a church family believe first and foremost that the Word of God is the authority for our lives in ALL areas.

So my goal today is, through the Holy Spirit’s power, to present what God’s Word says about His creation and how we are to understand marriage, family, gender, and sexuality accordingly.

Secondly, one sermon isn’t going to answer every question you have about these topics, but my goal is to help us frame our understanding so that we can seek God’s answer’s to our questions.

Our culture is speaking loudly and diversely on these topics, but what does God say and is His voice the loudest in our ears?

My prayer is that we can all listen with open hearts and open ears, humbly willing to hear from our creator about His glorious design.

Pray for this.

Marriage and Family

Matthew 19:1–9 CSB

1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?” 8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. 9 I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

Jesus is asked a question about divorce.

A group of Pharisees come to Jesus trying to catch Jesus in a trap based off the differing Jewish teachings on divorce in Deuteronomy.

but Jesus doesn't go to deut. He goes to Genesis 1 and 2.

"Have you not read..." Jesus points to the authority of the genesis account for the roots and substance of marriage, gender, and sexuality.

His answers aren't human ideas or interpretation, but created order and deliberate intentionality.

Jesus’s response to the Pharisee’s question is deeply significant.

He directs them to one of the most wellknown passages in all of the the Scriptures, Genesis 1:27, the creation of mankind.

Though the Pharisees weren’t questioning gender identities or sexual preferences, what we see in Jesus’s response is the validity and superiority of God’s account of creation.

Jesus not only believed the Genesis account of creation, HE WROTE IT.

Remember was John 1 says, everything that was created was created through Him and BY Him.

Jesus was the one who formed Adam from the dirt. And He was the one who performed surgery to remove Adam’s rib in order to create Eve.

Jesus points to Genesis as the origin story of mankind, and where we must look for answers to the questions of who we are and how we relate with one another, especially in regards to marriage and sexuality.

And from His response we can see three clear truths that help us to discern truth in a culture of confusion.

1) We are DESIGNED with DIVINE INTENTIONALITY.

Matthew 19:4 CSB

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female,

What we learn then is that God designed for there to be 2 genders with a shared NATURE and VALUE (image of God), but DISTINCT DESIGN. God created both genders with perfect intentionality.

When each person is shaped in the womb of our mothers, God has determined the shape and substance of our bodies.

Psalm 139:13–17 CSB

13 For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. 15 My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began. 17 God, how precious your thoughts are to me; how vast their sum is!

He intentionally crafted each of us, purposefully shaping us according to His will, and He knows us more intimately that we even know ourselves.

So for someone to feel the body they were born with doesn’t match the gender they feel is not a consequence of faulty creation, but confusion and brokenness that is a result of a sin that permeates our world and us.

I know that statement sounds judgmental and insensitive to many, maybe even to some in the room today.

We Christians have done a poor job with in regards to those experiencing Gender Dysphoria and same-sex attraction, treating them as outcasts and freaks.

Listen to Andrew Walker’s appeal:

It’s important for Christians to understand that people who experience distress, anguish, and conflict over their perceived gender identity really do exist. They’re not freaks. They’re not simply cross-dressers or people desiring to “gender-bend.” In most cases, their experience cannot be reduced to simply “living a lie” since most don’t feel they’re lying to themselves. In fact, just the opposite is true. People with genuine cases of dysphoria believe it’s their biological body that is lying. A person in this situation truly believes he or she is a member of the opposite sex. — Andrew T. Walker

I understand the struggle many have with the stereotypical ideas about gender norms:

Men don’t cry or show emotions

Women take care of the kids

Men should be confident, aggressive, and assertive.

Women should be polite, accommodating, and nurturing.

There are cultural ideas about men and women that are flawed and harmful.

But the answer our culture is giving to these flawed ideas and these struggles with identity is to redefine gender at it’s very core.

What makes no sense biologically/scientifically has, in our current culture, become natural and medically advisable.

We are telling kids, teens, and adults who are going through a crisis of identity that the answer is to take drugs or go through surgeries that are often irreversible and have long-term harmful physical and psychological consequences.

We are persisting in them the idea that they were mistakenly created, broken from birth.

And though we are all born in sin, God tells us that each and everyone of us was “fearfully and wonderfully made,” Knit together in our mothers’ wombs by a God who loves us as we were created to be.

God didn’t make a mistake when he created you to be:

Short or tall

thick or thin

red-haired or blond

tan or pale

Male or female

We live in a world of confusion about what it means to be a man or a woman, but God’s Word is clear.

May we graciously and confidently speak, live, and teach what God has divinely revealed.

Let us pray for compassion and humility as we seek to love, serve, and care for anyone and everyone God puts in our path, broken and wayward sinners just like we were.

2) We are designed PURPOSELY COMPLIMENTARY .

This is not to say we are designed just to say nice things about one another, but rather men and women were designed differently in order to compliment one another.

After quoting Genesis 1 in verse 4, Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24 in verse 5.

Matthew 19:5 CSB

5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

Genesis 2 is the focused account of God’s creation of humanity in Adam and Eve.

God creates Adam first, gives him dominion over creation and responsibility to care for and maintain it.

But God Adam as incomplete by himself, and so He put Adam to sleep, took out a rib, and from it made woman, whom we know as Eve.

Before sin ever entered the world and corrupted God’s good creation, there existed a man and a woman, who were equally created in the image of God, who were equally valuable in the eyes of God and one another, and yet, who were different in design.

But the unity of God’s diverse design in man and woman is seen in verse 24 as Jesus quoted it in Matthew 19:5.

These two uniquely designed people are to become 1 deeply connected partnership.

The physical, emotional, and spiritual makeup of men and women are not the result of random chance through natural selection.

They were designed to compliment one another, to fit together in a purposeful union.

When God says the two shall become one, there is a definition marriage imbedded in that.

Two people with differing physical make up, differing emotional dispositions, and differing motivations and drives come together to form a bond that is unlike any relationship in all of creation.

That might sound idealized as we look at how challenging and frustrating marriage can be.

But the book title by Dave Harvey, “When Sinners say ‘I Do’”, helps explain why we struggle to see the beauty of God’s design.

Though what God has made is broken and stained by sin, underneath the dirt and rubble is a beautiful design that has a glorious purpose.

God imbedded His purposeful design into man and woman, that these two, and only these two should come together in the holy and purposeful union of marriage.

Though love is a deeply important aspect of any relationship, the emotional and/or physical attraction two people share isn’t the grounds for us determining the goodness or acceptability of a relationship.

Unless our understanding of love is grounded in the person and work of God himself, whatever form of love we think will be left to guide us will turn out to be empty, hollow and –– ultimately –– counterfeit. C.S. Lewis once wrote that love “begins to be a demon the moment he begins to be a god. “God is love” means that God knows far more about love than we do, and that we must therefore listen to him if we are to love each other as we truly should and in the right way.” — Sam Allberry

3) We are designed for GOSPEL REFLECTIVITY.

Matthew 19:6 CSB

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

That is God's purpose for marriage, lasting union, unwavering commitment, and unyielding faithfulness.

this is the same relationship God has established with those of us who have trusted in him for salvation.

it is God's model for the gospel.

Ephesians 5:22–33 CSB

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

Don’t let the words distract you. What Paul is presenting here is a beautiful picture of sacrificial, selfless love, and is modeled after the most important relationship in all of creation, the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Husbands are to love like Jesus,

Wives are to submit out of honor and respect.

Both are to pursue the good of one another.

Christ has loved us with a self-sacrificial love and one that sought to cleanse us from our sin and redeem us from our brokenness.

The love of Jesus is incomparable to any other relationship in all of creation outside of marriage.

God wants to use our marriages as living and breathing reflections of the Gospel.

Humbly serving and caring for one another,

graciously forgiving,

passionately pursuing,

actively dying to selfishness,

giving generously of our whole selves.

There is a mission to marriage that should be reflected within the walls and community of our churches.

one of the struggles I have had all week is to not sound like we Christians often sound in regard to these issues

callous, uncompassionate, hateful, and dismissive.

The Bible is clear on what is true, but it is also clear on how we are to love and care for lost and wayward people...

Ephesians 4:15 tells us to “speak the truth IN LOVE.”

Most of us, depending on our particular character, tend to bend toward love or truth. The struggle is to showcase the one we bend away from. If you or your church tends to listen and love but bend the truth in your attempt to love, the challenge is this: Hold to the truth, even as you love. Remember that loving someone isn’t the same as agreeing with them, and sometimes loving someone requires you to disagree. But for those of us tempted to teach truth without love, the challenge is this: Don’t neglect love. After all, love wins a hearing for the truth. — Andrew T. Walker

We are to model lives of joy, peace, and faith.

Be hospitable to all regardless of our differences.

And speak the truth out of posture of selfless love.

We are a Unique People with a unique message of hope.