Boundaries (4)
Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 4 viewsNotes
Transcript
Sermon Tone Analysis
A
D
F
J
S
Emotion
A
C
T
Language
O
C
E
A
E
Social
Myth:
any invented story, idea, or concept
an imaginary or fictitious thing or person.
an unproved or false collective belief that is used to justify a social institution.
Let’s debunk myths about boundaries.
Myth #1: Boundaries are selfish.
There is nothing selfish about doing the things you need to for you!
Balance: Self centered - never giving our time, talent and treasure
Very destructive!
Limits and boundaries are not selfish BUT is a godly word: STEWARDSHIP.
Where you look at everything that God has put in your hands and say this is the best use of everything that God has given me!
Those who don’t have control of there time end up stressed out and burned out.
Moses and the Jethro principle.
Learn to say no to the right stuff.
Story of the Good Samaritan:
Key: Left him and went about his buisness
How about the story of the co dependent Good Samaritan?
What! How could you leave me?
I thought you were a Christian!
Don’t you see how sick I am!
Don’t you know I need your help!
Don’t you know how much I depend on you?
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Myth #2: Boundaries will harm me or harm those I love.
Fear based.
If I take this stand, this person will not love me.
If a person withhold love, then they do not love you properly.
Watch over the years this phenomenon.
A person tells another person no and then that person don’t speak to them for days.
Then only when the person that had the audacity to say no, comes back hat in hand...
Few things done in fear are correct.
Remember: hurt vs harm
Dentist vs. snickers bar
Snickers does not hurt us but does harm us...
The dentist does not harm us but does hurt us...
Sometimes the hurt of a limit is exactly what should happen.
11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Discipline hurts!
You have to evaluate discipline!
Does this hurt? Yes! Is it for good? Yes! Does it harm me? NO!
One of the most harmful (correct word) ideas of today is the idea that no one should be uncomfortable in life.
There is a direct correlation between the last couple of generations low level of discomfort tolerance and the fact that the last couple of generations are the softest we have ever raised!
There is a direct correlation between say the greatest generations toughness and the no expectation of comfort.
If you don’t allow discomfort into your life, your kids life, your friends life you are guaranteeing them a life of misery and failure.
Let your kids fight their own battles and learn to stand on there own two feet.
A good boundary could be the best gift you ever gave them!
Myth #3: If I set boundaries that means I am angry.
In appropriate boundaries are set when people get mad, hence the myth.
If this is the case, you are the one with boundary issues!
28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
If you have no boundaries it is only a matter of time until you explode in anger...
Opens the door to depression, lack of energy because you are being manipulated because you are a city without walls.
People with good boundaries are loving and generous because they are free.
Good stewards of what God has given us.
How do you deal with controlling people?
Convert them… from controlling to frustrated.
The only way a person can be controlling is to allow them control.
Learn to say no...
Myth #4: I will be injured when others set boundaries.
We don’t like to have limits set on our lives...
If it injures us then that indicates something already there.
8 Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
When you are confronted and you take offense, you have so healing or growing to do…
Myth #5: Boundaries cause feelings of guilt.
I feel guilty when I enforce my boundaries...
Do you feel like God is a part of a co dependency group because he feels guilty of the boundaries he enforces?
Neither to healthy people!
37 “But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.
Boundaries don’t mean you are bad!
We feel that away because of boundless people in our lives!
…after all I have done for you!
…I thought you were my friend!
…I you were a christian!
Guilt trips is an attempt to control!
Greatest passage in all the bible about this:
15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?
Myth #6: Boundaries are permanent and if we establish them we will burn bridges.
Not always true.
Sometimes boundaries are the beginning of a healthy relationship.
Is there separation?
Is there pain?
Sure… but ofter that opens the eyes and that relationship can be rebuilt in a healthy way.
Bottom line: Good things happen when you do it God’s way!