Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Advent Reading

Communion

Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.””

Witness…I caught the famous clip from a few good men the other day when tom cruise is questioning Jack Nicholson when he finally says:

“You want answers?”

“I want the Truth!”

“You can’t handle the truth!”

Truth…is a funny thing. We all believe in telling the truth…but we’re careful about what truths we share, when and with whom.

Jesus tells us we will be his witnesses. In the power of the Holy Spirit we will tell the truth about what we have seen and experienced because of Jesus.

But we struggle to speak that truth to the world around us…we struggle often to speak that truth to one another.

Communion is a time we intentionally stop and remember Jesus, he tells his disciples to “Do this in remembrance of me”

I want us to do something this next year. I want us to remember Jesus in our stories. We practice communion once a month, so I am going to ask for 12 of you to share your stories over the course of 2023.

We will use video and I’ll work with you to help you share just one 4 minute story of Jesus at work in you.

If you are willing to consider it, will you write that down on a connection card or otherwise let me know so I can begin putting together a schedule.

Today, I’ll share one of mine.

I remember Jesus.

About 18 years ago, I had just lost my job and it was my own fault. Our Son was fresh out of the NICU, our daughter 2.5, and I was devastated.

Monica was gracious, but rightly upset.

I was ashamed and scared.

I went alone to the Wednesday night service at the church we attended at that time. Hoping I wouldn’t run into anyone we knew, but both knowing I needed Jesus and wondering if he still had any grace left for me.

A couple songs in the band played a super upbeat song. “I’m trading my sorrows, I’m trading my pain. I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord. I’m trading my sickness, I’m trading my shame, I’m laying them down for the joy of the lord.”

Then came the most profound theological chorus ever written

“I’m saying yes Lord, yes Lord, Yes yes Lord. Yes Lord yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord, Yes Lord Yes Lord Yes Yes Lord Amen”

The tears started to flow.

Shame? check. Sorrow? check. Laying them down? How do I do that?

In that moment it was like I heard Jesus whisper, “I died for all that.” I bore shame, I bore pain so you could experience life.

“Do you believe in the resurrection?” -I do. Then how hard can it be to believe I can give you joy that overcomes shame?

How do I do that?

You say, yes. About that time the chorus started again and I kinda ugly cried through it, but I said yes. and Jesus was faithful. I went home with hope, I got to work, and one step at a time God restored us.

Kept our marriage in tact, restored our finances, our kids never went without what they needed.

Today, as we take these elements, this is how I remember Jesus. I can’t wait to hear how you remember him.

1 corinthians 11:23-26 “For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”

In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.”

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Luke 10:25-37 “Then an expert in the law stood up to test him, saying, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “What is written in the law?”

he asked him. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,” and “your neighbor as yourself.”

“You’ve answered correctly,” he told him. “Do this and you will live.”

But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus took up the question and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him, beat him up, and fled, leaving him half dead.

A priest happened to be going down that road. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way, a Levite, when he arrived at the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan on his journey came up to him, and when he saw the man, he had compassion. He went over to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on olive oil and wine. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him. When I come back I’ll reimburse you for whatever extra you spend.’

“Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” “The one who showed mercy to him,” he said. Then Jesus told him, “Go and do the same.””

Several threads in this story. Each one impacting the others.

We have the expert in the law…who wanted to test Jesus, but had his heart put to the test instead

Then there are the characters in Jesus’ story. A man traveling, robbers, a priest and a Levite, and then a Samaritan. A nation of half-Jews, despised by and isolated from their Jewish relatives.

All prompted by the question, What must I do to inherit eternal life? What kind of life pleases God?

As the threads weave in an out of this story, you can imagine the shock of being robbed, then the pain of watching those who know God best moving to the other side of the street.

If God has rejected me…who won’t?

Then the one who had no reason to care, chose to care. Chose compassion, chose mercy.

Which of these three PROVED to be a neighbor…the one who showed mercy…go and do the same.

Mercy, Compassion. Not just for those you know and love, but the one before you.

The poor family not sure what to do next

The teenager who finds themselves isolated and alone in the classroom

The dude who lost his job because of his own foolishness and needs hope

Or a couple expecting their first child. They aren’t married, their families are ashamed and don’t like to talk about it. No wedding, but she’s now living with him, and as he has go file some government papers and the internet hasn’t been invented yet.

Luke 2:1-5 “In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole empire should be registered. This first registration took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. So everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant.”

By normal rules, Mary should have stayed with her family until the wedding. But she was pregnant…and if she wanted to put the cart before the horse, she could go live with him now.

Rumor had it, Joseph might not even be the father. Some said mary claimed she had a dream about the Lord and then woke up pregnant.

She was probably happy to get away from home. Nazareth probably didn’t feel very hospitable right then. Shame, whispers, family rejection...

Of course we know the story…but she didn’t. Not then. She was living it.

Then comes the lines that we see in every nativity scene

Luke 2:6-7 “While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn son, and she wrapped him tightly in cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.”

Do you see the threads here? Mary, Joseph, a new baby, and a whole lot of rooms unavailable.

A pregnant woman shuffled off to the barn…shameful. But then comes the fun of a deep dive in scripture.

The CSB uses the term “guest room”, which we usually think of as an inn.

Every nativity play usually has several mean innkeepers who tell them there is no space.

But the word used is Kataluma which never refers to an inn anywhere else in Luke or the rest of scripture. It refers to the spare room of a house where travelers can stay. Jesus ate the last supper with his disciples in a kataluma. In a culture that prized hospitality, this was extremely common.

So this was no innkeeper who made their living simply not having room…these were families who could not or would not make room for a pregnant woman.

Given that this trip was Joseph going to his ancestral home, the odds are good that they probably experience rejection at the hands of family and friends.

Tomorrow if you were to ride C-Tran, imagine the bus is packed, and a you watch a woman close to giving birth get on the bus, I imagine if you are at all able you would get up…That’s compassion.

Nobody seemed to have any.

Worth noting, this likely wasn’t a hurried “My fiance is in labor and needs a place now!” situation.

the word reads, While they were there the time came. They had time to find appropriate living quarters, and couldn’t.

Here’s some good news. Someone did have mercy. Compassion was shown.

The right place for them to stay would have been a guest room. For privacy, and peace, it would have been better.

But someone who had a guest room that was unavailable allowed something different.

Here is where we get the image of a barn…this is probably artistic license.

Homes in first century Israel were one room homes split into an upper and lower level. Not stories, kind of split level homes. The upper level where the family gathered, cooked, slept and lived, and the lower level where the animals were kept.

There would have been a large manger down in that level for the big animals and a small one in the upper area for the smaller animals.

Someone made room in their animal area for Mary to give birth. But they would have been unavoidably present.

Just like this (woven garment) is made up of many threads, the Christmas story is one woven moment, with so many people who all had choices.

It was the baby born here, to a mother struggling to be shown mercy, who would be asked by an expert in the law how one gets eternal life.

The son of outcast parents who would tell a story where two men who knew all about God were so concerned about staying pure for God, they skipped showing God’s kind of mercy to one who had need.

It would take someone who probably didn’t know them, finally accepting them into their home.

But I think of the threads in the story that could have been.

The family that could have risked rejection by giving care to these two. The business traveler who could have traded his guest room for the barn himself so the baby and his family might be given some dignity. And any of the other scenarios that could have happened…but didn’t.

They missed out. In missing compassion, they missed out.

Let’s talk about what was missed in missing mercy.

They missed

Jesus

I don’t know how this family felt about an unmarried couple having a baby in their animal area. But I know this.

They got to hear the first cry of the son of God incarnate.

They probably got to be the ones who gave his mother a cup of water.

They would have seen shepherds invade their home later that night with stories about angels who began to worship this newborn baby.

I know this, whoever let them in, had a story worth telling.

I know the ones without room…didn’t.

maybe they found themselves saying coulda shoulda woulda

It takes courage to have compassion. Because it always costs something.

Luke 10:34-35 “He went over to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on olive oil and wine. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him. When I come back I’ll reimburse you for whatever extra you spend.’”

Compassion has a cost, for the Samaritan, it cost him time, cleanliness, oil and wine. Then more time as he took him to an inn, and then money to cover the cost.

But if we would not miss Jesus, we can not miss compassion.

In Matthew 25 Jesus is describing the end of the age, the separation of those who will enjoy eternal life from those who choose eternal condemnation. Listen to this and see how the threads weave together:

Matthew 25:34-36 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. “ ‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took me in; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you took care of me; I was in prison and you visited me.’”

The righteous will be confused and ask when they ever did these things...

Matthew 25:40 ““And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

Then the opposite conversation happens with those on the other side. with a similar ending:

Matthew 25:45-46 ““Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.””

We aren’t saved by what we do. But what we do seems to show a lot about our faith, our gratitude, and our love for God. What we do, proves what we believe. What we don’t do does the same

So I say this with all gravity, Don’t miss out on Jesus by missing out on compassion.

You can do that with a full head of bible knowledge or none.

Today, you can place your faith in Christ, most of you here already have. But that faith is proved true as we walk our lives in mercy. Don’t miss Jesus.

They also missed

People

Mary’s predicament made her unacceptable. Many kept their threads unwoven from hers.

Most of my best friends in the faith didn’t start that way.

I didn’t.

We tend to work hard to keep our threads woven in to comfortable places. Alongside other threads as clean and neat as ours.

Same style, where they can blend in with us and us with them.

One, that makes a boring blanket.

Two, we miss out on our purpose. We already talked about missing Jesus in eternal terms, but missing people here is another loss to us.

I had always felt satisfied in church youth work. It was nice to have a visiting kid, but the core was the church kids.

Then I was invited to help one night at a youth for christ event.

Threads that were uncomfortable, challenging, battered and frayed.

And beautiful. The stories of these threads were largely heartbreaking, but the story God was beginning to tell because of people like Todd Arney, Craig Dickinson, Tim Sinclair, Amanda Ormsbee, and so many others was amazing.

YFC’s tagline on their website is “Give Life to Your Story”

I could never go back to being half interested in evangelism and making disciples ever again.

I got to see God work in young men like Damon and young women like Bailey and I was in awe. Threads that by all accounts were scrap for the pile were now woven into beautiful images telling the story of the maker.

In Luke 8 a man of high status asked Jesus to come save his dying 12 year old daughter. A chance to rub shoulders and serve the good and great, this was ministry time well spent. Who knows what kinds of support Jesus could get from this.

As Jesus follows the man to his daughter, crowds were nearly crushing him.

A broken thread among them.

A woman who had suffered from bleeding for 12 years saw him and wondered if she could just get close enough to this bright shining thread…maybe she might find relief.

Her thread touched the edge of his robe.

Immediately he stops. His urgent destination takes a backseat

Luke 8:45-47 ““Who touched me?” Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds are hemming you in and pressing against you.” “Someone did touch me,” said Jesus. “I know that power has gone out from me.” When the woman saw that she was discovered, she came trembling and fell down before him. In the presence of all the people, she declared the reason she had touched him and how she was instantly healed.”

She was afraid because to be ill and touching the healthy was wrong.

To be a woman touching a man was wrong.

To be her…was wrong, to seek healing was wrong…her thread was so frayed, so damaged, so beyond hope...

Luke 8:48 ““Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has saved you. Go in peace.””

Daughter. He was on his way to save a leader’s daughter. He saved one on the way. He didn’t miss the broken thread on the way to the “important one”

(Back to outline slide)

The family that took in Mary got quite the privilege.

Every family in town would hear the stories the next day. They would wonder about the couple they had no room for.

I wonder how many would wish they had given up their guest room for them?

How many would wish they had suggested their manger?

Hindsight is 20/20 and completely useless.

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

I coulda shown mercy, I shoulda shown compassion, I woulda if only I had known...

Today, you know.

Jesus wants to be woven into your life today.

He wants to lead your thread in this Christmas season and beyond to be agents of compassion and mercy.

For your own soul first, but then into the lives of the broken and frayed around you.

Don’t wait.

Maybe it’s an invitation to someone lonely to join you at the tree lighting or cookling.

Maybe it is forgiving the family member or friend who hurt you

maybe it’s reaching out to the one who you find unacceptable, but whom God loves as one of his image bearers in desperate need of someone to introduce his saving thread into their lives.

Don’t let this be a season of Coulda woulda shoulda, TAKE An ACTION

I would love to hear about it, maybe that becomes the testimony you share in one of our communion times.

God has never kept his desires for you and I secret, for how he wants us to interact with the world and what he will accept.

Micah 6:8 “Mankind, he has told each of you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness (Hesed: mercy, kindness, compassion), and to walk humbly with your God.”

No moving target here. We simply have to choose to weave our threads where he would lead.

So choose today, to make this Christmas season a new beginning for you in showing compassion.

Write down one way God’s compassion for you will extend to someone else today. Before you sleep tonight, what will you do in response to God’s word?

How will you change the way your thread connects to others from here on out? What’s going to change?

Pray

saving thread thanks

show us one thread in need of ours

Change the way we see the world, and all we have, to be shaped by compassion.

Amen