Be a Leader in Your Home (Matt. 1:18-25)
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Introduction
Introduction
We are in our Characters of Christmas series, and today we are looking at Joseph. This is a quiet man in Scripture. We don’t have a record of anything he says. But his actions tell us so much about being a godly leader in a home.
Our homes need more godly men. We live in a society where fatherhood is under attack. Fathers are often portrayed in comedy shows as dumb. Over half of marriages today end in divorce, and women are attempting to carry the role of mother and father. Men are abandoning their responsibilities as husbands and fathers in their households. Boys are growing up without a man in the home, and generations do not know what it is like to have a godly father in the household. Our families are in desperate need of godly fathers.
We need to turn this tide, and it can’t wait for someone else. We need to raise our young men to honor God with their marriages and families. Joseph is an example we can point to. He is a picture of someone who led his home as a godly father. We are going to read in Matthew 1:18-25:
Scripture Reading
18 The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way: After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit.
19 So her husband, Joseph, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.
20 But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
22 Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name him Immanuel, which is translated “God is with us.”
24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married her
25 but did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son. And he named him Jesus.
Pray
We know a few things about Joseph. He shows up mainly in Matthew’s Gospel, and Luke mentions him there as well. We know Joseph and lived and led his family at least until Jesus was twelve. Many scholars believe that he probably passed away before Jesus’ ministry began, because he is not pictured in Scripture as present during or after Jesus’ ministry.
But Joseph’s example during the early part of Jesus’ life shows us a clear example of how to be a lead in your home. It shows it in three ways.
First,
Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
Joseph led in his home by choosing compassion toward Mary. Matt. 1:19
Something that stands out about Joseph is his character to choose compassion in a tense circumstance. Take a look at Matthew 1:18-19:
18 The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way: After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit.
19 So her husband, Joseph, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.
As you are reading Matthew 1, in understanding Joseph, you need to go full stop after verse 19. These two verses are an amazing insight into the character and leadership of Joseph.
To paint a picture, Mary is probably a young woman of child-bearing age. We are not sure of Joseph’s age at this time. He could have been young like Mary, or likely a bit older. But what is going through his mind?
We know that he was engaged to Mary. In first-century Jewish society:
Marriages were arranged by parents. After contracts arranged, considered married and called husband and wife
They did not begin to live with each other. Woman continued to live with her parents for one year, and the man with his
Waiting period demonstrated the faithfulness of the pledge of purity of the bride
If she was found pregnant during this time, she was not pure and had been involved in an unfaithful sexual relationship. The marriage could be annulled.
If after the waiting period the bride was pure, the husband would go to the bride’s parents and lead his bride back to his home in a grand processional march. There they would begin to live with each other and begin their marriage physically.
Now, when Joseph found out about Mary’s pregnancy, and we don’t know how he found about, probably Mary told him, what kind of emotions could go through Joseph? He would be disappointed. He would be upset. He could be angry.
There are things Joseph could have done. He could have chosen to make a big show of it. He could have marched into the parents home, pronounced Mary’s unfaithfulness, talked about it in the town with his friends, spread his anger about the situation and the injustice of what happened to him.
But instead, If you look carefully again at verse 19, It says:
19 So her husband, Joseph, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.
There is a caveat here thrown in about his character. Joseph was a righteous man. He was a man of ethics and held to a godly moral standard. But what was the evidence of his ethics? Your character is shown by the things you choose to do in your family.
Joseph chose compassion by not wanting to disgrace her publicly. He could have chosen to spread to others in and around his family stories about her unfaithfulness.
There are three things we see here about Joseph’s choice for compassion:
1. His compassion was not without accountability.
Joseph’s choice for compassion does not mean that there would be no accountability. He was not facilitating her unfaithfulness. It says he decided to divorce her secretly.
What does that mean? It means that Joseph’s choice for compassion still meant accountability for Mary’s decision.
2. His compassion combined accountability with grace.
Joseph didn’t use Mary’s perceived unfaithfulness to hit her over the head publicly. His actions show there is a way to combine compassion with grace. His decision involved, “I need to do the right thing in holding her accountable.” She would be held accountable. “Yet, how can I do the right thing in a compassionate way towards Mary”
3. His compassion was shown by considering what was best for Mary.
Here is how he shows compassion. Joseph is in a bad scenario. There is no way around it. This is not a comfortable decision. Joseph chooses a path where Mary would be held accountable - he is not facilitating her actions by going along with them.
What were the options for Mary? The option according to the Law was to stone Mary. She would be a woman considered caught in unfaithful adultery. The Law in Deut. 22:20-21 prescribed a public stoning for young Mary.
But Joseph chooses compassion by making a decision that chooses the best option out of a bad scenario for young Mary. He wouldn’t parade her shame around. He wouldn’t insist on the letter of the law. Instead, Joseph is a righteous man because he considered a best solution for Mary in a hard scenario over his own hurt feelings.
The book of Psalms tells us about the qualities of a righteous man. In Psalm 112:4-6
4 Light shines in the darkness for the upright. He is gracious, compassionate, and righteous.
5 Good will come to the one who lends generously and conducts his business fairly.
6 He will never be shaken. The righteous one will be remembered forever.
Joseph shows his righteous character in a tough circumstance by conducting his business fairly and choosing compassion in a hard scenario. Because of his decision here, he is remembered as a righteous man because of his choice for compassion in his family.
What does leading by choosing compassion look like?: When I worked at a homeless shelter, we would get heartbreaking calls from parents. These parents would be at their wits end with their kids. They would want you to go out there and get their kids and make them get off the street and out of their addiction. We would have to tell parents over and over that the person had to make the choice to come in to the program. It was heartbreaking.
There were some parents who would give up. They would abandon their child. There were a lot of parents who were more of the problem than the solution. They would facilitate their child by not holding them accountable, and the addiction would go on for years. Of course there were parents who had already abandoned, maybe were addicted themselves, and their kids were caught up in a cycle.
But there were some parents who would show compassion on their child by holding them accountable for their actions, bringing them into the program, but were also supportive and were there for them as they sobered up. It was great to see them at their graduation.
Apply: Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
I believe Joseph’s example is one that we can follow in our own homes. There is a path where we can choose compassion in difficult scenarios. It is a path where there is accountability that is led through love.
Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
Second,
Be a leader in your home by being obedient to God's direction.
Be a leader in your home by being obedient to God's direction.
Joseph's obedient leadership required courage. Matt. 1:20
The three times that we see Joseph in Scripture, he is leading through obedient action. But it is an obedience that required courage.
Joseph’s first decision was based on the fear he experienced over Mary’s perceived unfaithfulness. God needed to counteract that fear with an incredible vision and message. Look at Matt. 1:20:
20 But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
The words of the Lord to Joseph are “Don’t be afraid.” Look, Joseph, I know this is incredible, but you need to listen. Don’t be afraid, Joseph, because I am at work.
Now this is something that Joseph has to internalize. Joseph, don’t be afraid to step forward, because I am at work. You could interpret the message from God this way, “Joseph, you need to have courage and lead your family in faith in me.”
Joseph's obedient leadership involved determined action.
Joseph is constantly leading his family. His leadership is characterized by his willingness to be obedient to God. There are three ways with see his obedient action in his leadership.
1. Joseph led through obedient action without hesitation: Matt. 2:14
What stands out about Joseph is that he obeyed God without hesitation. For instance, God warns Joseph in a dream that he needs to leave because Herod is seeking to kill the child. Look at Joseph’s response in Matt. 2:14:
14 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night, and escaped to Egypt.
Joseph doesn’t hesitate to obey God’s direction. Instead, he shows leadership in his family that in however God leads, whether its Bethlehem or Egypt or Nazareth, he will go.
2. Joseph led through obedient action amidst difficulties: Matt. 1:24
Joseph’s path was not easy. He was in a hard scenario. Yet, Joseph wasn’t afraid to obey God in a difficult scenario, and he was obedient to God no matter what. It says in Matt. 1:24:
24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married her
Joseph was willing to be obedient no matter what people thought of him or his family or his scenario, because what God said was more important than his social condition. He led his family by being obedient to God in a difficult scenario.
3. Joseph led through obedient action with patience: Matt. 2:15
What also stands out about Joseph’s obedient action was his ability to be patient in his obedience. Not only was he obedient in the moment, but he was obedient over the long term.
For instance, consider Joseph’s obedience with Mary’s pregnancy from the Holy Spirit. He married her, but it says in verse 25 that he “did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son. And he named him Jesus.” Joseph’s obedience was patient as he obeyed the boundaries of God’s plan.
Consider Joseph’s trip with his family to Egypt. Here he was sent out to a land he may not have known anyone. Remember, Joseph was told to flee to Egypt because Herod was seeking to kill the child. So Joseph fled to Egypt. Look at what it says in Matt. 2:15:
15 He stayed there until Herod’s death, so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled: Out of Egypt I called my Son.
Joseph’s obedience was not only in the moment, but also in the long term. God used Joseph’s obedience to fulfill his promise that Out of Egypt I called my Son. Joseph stayed in Egypt until God told him again to go back to Israel.
What does leading by being obedient to God’s direction look like?: We understand that there is safety in following directions. Our entire roadways are designed so that, if you follow the directions of the road, you should arrive safely to your destination.
There are green lights to go, yellow lights to slow down, and red lights to stop. There are stop signs and yield signs. There are highway speed limits. The roads are designed with lanes for you to stay in while you travel.
All of these are boundaries for direction. You could decide to disobey these boundaries, but you are likely to hurt yourself and others. If you want to be safe, you need to abide by the boundaries without hesitation and with determination.
Apply: Be a leader in your home by being obedient to God's direction.
If you want to be a leader in your home, you need to be obedient to God’s direction in your life. God has set up boundaries, and these boundaries provide direction. There are boundaries with how I am to act in my marriage, how I am to act with my children, and these boundaries give the Christian direction from God in how you lead in your home.
Boundary from God: “Love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That is a direction that God has for men in their homes. Boundary in Eph. 6:4: “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” That is a boundary that gives direction from God. We need to lead in our homes by being obedient to God’s direction.
Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
Be a leader in your home by being obedient to God's direction.
Third,
Be a leader in your home by having a courageous faith in God's power.
Be a leader in your home by having a courageous faith in God's power.
Joseph led through a courageous faith in the message of God's power. Matt. 1:20
Joseph was someone who need to have a courageous faith in the message of God’s power. He was told a tremendous thing from God. It was an incredible thing that he needed to believe was the case. Look again at Matt. 1:20:
20 But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
This was a tremendous word from God. But Joseph needed to believe in the power of God that such a thing could be the case. He needed to believe that God was powerful enough that a virgin could conceive and give birth not because of a man but because God’s power was at work. He needed to believe in the message and authority of God’s power.
That is something that can’t go over our heads. Its something to pay attention to. What do you believe about God’s power? Are there limits that you put on God? Joseph had to believe in a God that was bigger and more powerful than he could imagine. He needed to believe and trust, to lead through a courageous faith in God’s power.
Joseph led through courageous faith in the testimony of God's work. (Three angelic dreams) Matt. 2:19-20
Another thing we see in Joseph’s courageous faith is how it grows over time. Three times, Joseph receives a vision from God in a dream from an angel.
The first time, Joseph has to be told to have courage. He was told, “Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife.” He needed to have courage.
The second time, Joseph now has a bit more courage in his faith. They are in Bethlehem, the baby has been born, shepherds have come to see the baby, and now he receives a second vision from an angel. In Matt. 2:13, “Get up! Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt.”
What do you think he’s remembering? He’s remembering the testimony of the first vision, and how God worked there. So he gets up with a bit more faith and leads his family to Egypt.
The third time, Joseph receives a third vision from an angel with a direction from God. Matt. 2:19-20:
19 After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt,
20 saying, “Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, because those who intended to kill the child are dead.”
What do you think is happening to Joseph’s faith at this point? His faith has grown because he has seen how God worked in his life and in his family in the past. Based on the testimony of God’s power and his faithfulness, how God has worked in his life, he again trusts God and leads his family in courageous faith.
Joseph led through a courageous faith in God's promise. Matt. 1:21
All of this time, Joseph’s leadership is built around a promise from God, and I don’t want you to miss this. What was the original promise from God? Look at Matt 1:21:
21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Joseph’s courageous faith is built around the promises of God. Joseph, she will give birth to a son. What does Joseph later see? Mary gives birth to a son. Who will this son be who was conceived by the Holy Spirit? He will save his people from their sins.
Joseph, who has a tremendous belief in God’s power, builds his faith around the promise from God that the Son of God will save his people from their sins. What a tremendous promise! It is a promise that is grounded in the power of God.
What does leading by having a courageous faith in God’s power look like?: Believing a message has authority is difficult today, because there are so many messages coming at us, and most of them don’t have any real authority. Suppose you had a large loan at a bank. This loan was for $100,000, and every day you logged into the bank, this loan was just growing and gaining interest.
Well, you hear online that someone is clearing up loans for people. Well, who would really do that, you might think, and people say all kinds of things that aren’t true. You go to the bank, and now a loan officer tells you about this someone clearing up loans at the bank. Now, that has more authority, but its still not your loan, and your not sure what to think.
Then you log in to your account, and you look and see that your loan, which the day before had been over $100,000, is now cleared up. There, based on the authority of the bank, is the message, clear as day, that someone has cleared up the debt.
In essence, that is the message of the cross. There is a huge debt, but Jesus has come to save his people from their sins. The cross is the payment, there for you, and its written in his blood so that you can be free in him. It is a message of God’s power.
Apply: Be a leader in your home by having a courageous faith in God's power.
Our homes need more men and women who will have a tremendous belief in the power of God to save people from their sins. We need more men who will lead their homes with a courageous faith in God’s power to save.
Conclusion
Be a leader in your home by choosing compassion towards others.
Be a leader in your home by being obedient to God's direction.
Be a leader in your home by having a courageous faith in God's power.
Conclude
Prayer
Last Song
Doxology
24 “May the Lord bless you and protect you;
25 may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
26 may the Lord look with favor on you and give you peace.” ’
24 Now to him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of his glory, without blemish and with great joy,
25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever. Amen.
You are dismissed. Have a great week in the Lord!
