Exchanging Apathy for Love

Advent Series - The Gift Exchange

Today: Exchanging apathy for love

According to Dictionary.com, apathy is the absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement; a lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting. It can happen at work when the tasks you do becomes more important than the vision for the company. We get lost in the mundane. It can happen in marriages and in relationships, where we come to the place where we get stuck into a routine and we somehow quit learning about ourselves and our partners. It can even happen in church, where good people stop experiencing God because they’ve heard it all before and sang the same song for 50 years and nothing new happens.

I came across an 2020 blog article from a church in Florida called Grace church that listed 5 things that can cause apathy in our Christian faith. Let me share them with you.

Familiarity

There’s a term in the art and film industry called “visual lethargy” to describe the process of becoming desensitized to the same sight. You’ve probably experienced it. Have you ever gone somewhere and were in awe of the view at first, but the longer you are there, the less you even notice it? In the summer, our family went to Manhattan and one night, my daughter Rebekah and I went down and took the Staten Island Ferry. The ferry which is free and only takes about 30 minutes one way, takes your right past the Statue of Liberty. And, being tourists, Bekah and I are in awe of it and later of the Manhattan skyline at night. But there are a bunch of people just inside ferry, on their phones or in a book, because they probably take the ferry twice a day every day. They are apathetic to the view because they are so familiar with it.

So it goes with the things of God. The grace that once left us breathless can feel humdrum over time. Scripture that brought us to our knees sounds hollow and rote. When this happens—when the sacred becomes common - we need to do something to rekindle the fire of faith in our lives.

Boredom

Christian teacher and author Jon Bloom defines boredom not as the opposite of busyness, but as the opposite of interest. Everyone feels disinterested from time to time, but pervasive disinterest is often a sign of spiritual apathy. G.K. Chesterton said, “There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.” If you can’t muster up any interest in what’s happening during the worship service, or when you do the spiritual disciplines like pray or read the bible, or in anything of God, it’s worth getting curious about your boredom.

Bloom writes, “Listen carefully to your boredom. It’s telling you something important. It’s a hunger for happiness. Don’t just feed it the junk food of easy entertainment and stimulation or the malnourishing diet of selfish pursuits. If you heed boredom’s warning, it will show you your broken joy cisterns. If you accept its invitation, it will lead you to where the true fountains of joy are found.”

Mediocrity

Another indicator of spiritual apathy is the acceptance of mediocrity. Now, ordinariness and mediocrity are not the same thing. Living an ordinary life with extraordinary faithfulness is an inspiring hallmark of Christianity. Mediocrity is when you put in the bare minimum effort to nurture and grow your faith, so you can check it off your list. Quickly reading a passage of scripture to get through it, instead of sitting with it and investigating how it might speak into your life. Going to church, but not getting involved in it’s community or serving in it’s ministries. Only praying when it’s suppertime. Christian blogger Neal Samudre writes, “Mediocrity is the sum of all the times we choose to take the easy path with our faith.” Mediocrity is both a result of apathy and something that fuels it.

Disconnection

With the dawn of the digital age, disconnection is a real danger for all of us. Author Carey Nieuwhof writes, “We live in a world where you can have five hundred friends and still feel isolated and abandoned. Solitude is a gift from God. Isolation is not—it’s a tool of the Enemy. As a culture, the more connected we’ve become, the more isolated we’ve grown. This is our strange twenty-first-century paradox: we’re connected to more people than ever before and we’ve never felt more alone.”

And the trouble with disconnection isn’t merely social or emotional, but spiritual. We were designed by God to live and thrive in community—with accountability, encouragement, and genuine relationships and so when we don’t have those things, our apathy will feed off our isolation.

Passivity

Passivity is simply being passive - it’s just not doing anything. Have you ever had a nap and then woke up feeling less energetic than before? That’s just physics. A body at rest wants to remain at rest. And that happens in our faith. We get into the habit of not doing anything with our faith and it becomes a passive part of us. But our faith is meant to be lived out loud. We are meant to exercise our faith with loving service to others and by putting in an effort. Start by doing just one thing. Join a small group, start serving in a ministry, take your pastor for coffee. Say yes to that thing you’ve put off but know you should do, or say no to that thing you really shouldn’t do. Just do something.

Familiarity, Boredom, Mediocrity, Disconnection, Passivity.

So, let’s take a moment and reflect on those. Do any of them resonate with you? Are you experiencing a sense of spiritual apathy in your life lately? If so, then I want to encourage you to participate in a gift exchange with Jesus. Give him your apathy and receive from him the gift of love.

Love is the great motivator for life change and in Jesus, we have the greatest expression of love. Knowing the depth and breadth of God’s love for you, can empower you to shake off your apathy and not only live in God’s love, but to exude God’s love to others. Now, our passage today, doesn’t mention the word love at all but love permeates everything in it and so as we go through the first seven verses of chapter 2 in Luke’s gospel, my hope is that you will see with me three ways that God’s love is expressed.

Luke 2:1–7 NLT

1 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. 2 (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. 4 And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. 5 He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child. 6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

May the Lord add his blessing to the reading of the word and reveal to us his life-changing love.

The first thing that God shows us about love is that sometimes, love hides in the ordinary.

Sometimes, love hides in the ordinary

When you think of the great scenes from movies where one character declared their love for another, it’s always the most dramatic thing in the world. Scenes like in the Notebook where Rachel McAdams jumps into Ryan Gosling’s arms in the rain - or in Pretty Woman when Richard Gere climbs the outside fire escape to a smiling Julia Roberts - or when Mr. Lunt sings passionately to his cheeseburger - these scenes make our hearts soar. But the problem is that they perpetuate the myth that love is found in dramatic displays of affection.

When Abby and I were dating at Bible college, for a valentines surprise, I booked a classroom at our school, set up a table with chairs, bought candles and candlestick holders, had 2 friends dress up like waiters and get our food from the dining room and serve us, while I had two other friends, who were both brilliant pianists play classical music live for us while we ate. I know, boss move, right?

Putting in a big effort is definitely a way to show someone you love them. But I have learned in the years since then that the deeper love is found in the ordinary. When my wife cooks dinner for me, when we go for coffee somewhere, when I take her car to get the oiled changed, or when we wander Costco together. The deepest form of love is found in the small ways of faithful service to and presence with another.

Which is what is happening here in Luke chapter 2. If we are honest, these seven verses are boring and mundane. They start off with a statement that the government wants information from everyone. Then it tells us that this is the first census when Quirinius is governor. That’s just the way ancient writers would tell the date before the calendar is widespread in use. Now, to do this census, everyone has to go to the town their family is traditionally from to register. Which is a very government thing to do: let’s make everyone travel to fill out some paperwork. Then it says that Joseph took Mary who was pregnant. And while there, she gave birth and then swaddled Jesus and put him in a manger, because all the hotels were full. This is not thrilling storytelling to say the least. It’s very mundane. But in his ordinary life moment, the love of God is made manifest as Jesus is born.

John 3:16 NLT

16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

In this dull narrative lies the greatest act of love in all the cosmos. God gave his only son to humanity, so that by his sinless life and atoning death, he might redeem us from the penalty and the power of sin. In Jesus, the love of God has skin and bones and will one day walk among us and teach us about love.

Love is found in the ordinary ways and one of the reasons we are so apathetic in our faith and culture is because we fail to see the love of God that is manifest all around us. If we were to open the eyes of our hearts, look around and see all the little ways in our ordinary lives that God pours out his love for us, we would walking around in constant worship and adoration. This advent season, I challenge you to put some extra thought into the different ways where God’s love was shown to you in the ordinary parts of life.

The second thing that God shows us about love is that love is expressed through faithful obedience.

Love is expressed through faithful obedience

More than just seeing God’s love in the ordinary aspects of life, our story today shows us that love is expressed in faithful obedience. Earlier, God called Mary to bear and mother his son, Jesus, and she faithfully obeyed, despite the cost. Earlier God called Joseph to take Mary as his wife and raise Jesus as his son, and Joseph faithfully obeyed, despite the cost.

And we have to also recognize that our God has also been faithfully obedient - not to us or any external force for our God is above all and owes no allegiance to anything or anyone. No, our God has been faithfully obedient to HIS character and HIS promises. Our scriptures affirm that God is love and so therefore he acts in love for all of us. And he has also promised to pour his love out on us, which is fulfilled in the giving of his Son, Jesus, for the salvation of the world. So in our passage in Luke we see the fruit of God’s, Mary’s and Joseph’s faithfulness - Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man born to redeem all who would come to him by faith.

And while faith is key for our salvation, obedience is key for our life in Christ. God enjoys our verbal and emotional expressions of love, for sure. But what God really desires is that we would show him our love by obeying what he has told us to. In fact, if you only talk about loving God, but don’t actually obey him, then that actually offends God. Look at what God says to Israel through the prophet Amos:

Amos 5:21–24 NLT

21 “I hate all your show and pretense— the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. 22 I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won’t even notice all your choice peace offerings. 23 Away with your noisy hymns of praise! I will not listen to the music of your harps. 24 Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living.

The passage in Amos describes God’s view of spiritual apathy. He’s not a fan. Apathy is when we go through the motions, but our hearts are not into it. And the problem is that many Christians have an apathetic faith. We go through the motions - we go to church, we own a Bible, we pray at meals - but we aren’t actually seeking God’s will and trying to obey it. We do life our way, not God’s way. And God isn’t impressed by our singing or our church attendance if our lives are out of line with his character and his will revealed in the Scriptures. We need to exchange our apathy for God’s love.

How do we do that? Look at what Jesus says...

John 14:21 NLT

21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”

When we obey God, when we do what He says, then not only are we expressing our love to him, we will also experience his love for us. I’m not saying that if we sin or disobey God he doesn’t love us anymore. No, his love is eternal and is based on who he is, not what we do.

But when we choose to obey God, we experience his love in a unique and special way for it accompanies his approval. So this Christmas season, exchange your apathy for God’s love by prayerfully seeking and starting to do one thing that he has called you to, just as Joseph and Mary did.

Now the third thing that God shows us about love is that

Love often intersects with the messiness of life

Fewer things can cause apathy than when a situation becomes messy, difficult or painful. In North America at least, we are skilled at avoiding messiness. We like our streets clean, our houses clean and our churches clean.

But the Christmas story is, forgive the pun, pregnant with messiness. Let’s start with Mary. When they find out they have to leave to go to Bethlehem Mary is one week away from giving birth. The mom’s and grandma’s here know. The only place a woman who is one week away from delivering a baby wants to travel to is the bathroom. She would be supremely achy and uncomfortable and the idea of travelling by foot, donkey or a cart for a week over unpaved roads is wildly unpleasant to say the least. That’s a messy, uncomfortable situation.

And our story says that the time came for her to give birth. This was obviously written by a man because that phrase is a pretty sanitized take on a very messy process where blood, placenta and other bodily fluids are expelled, Mary is sweating with the effort of giving birth, she’s in intense pain and feeling the lack of dignity in the birthing process. Add to that, we can only assume that the only other person there is a man. Normally, men wouldn’t be anywhere near this, especially as the woman would be ceremonially unclean after giving birth. So instead of having a team of supportive women, who have been there themselves, with her. Mary has Joseph, who’s probably never seen or done anything like this before.

And then there is the setting. She’s not giving birth in a clean, sterile hospital, with doctors and nurses. She’s not at home, or even in someone else’s home, or in a hotel room or anything that would be considered appropriate. No, Mary gives birth to Jesus in what is most likely a damp cave that has animals in it and animal droppings everywhere. Which is why they put Jesus in the feeding trough - the manger. The animals were done using it and it would have been raised off the ground and so, with some new straw, it became the cleanest part of the stable.

The King of Kings and Lord of Lords -the creator of the universe - condescended to us and was born in the messiest situation ever. Love gets messy. Love holds people and lets them ugly cry for as long as they need. Love sits with the homeless. Love forgives people who have wronged you. Love doesn’t happen when it’s convenient or comfortable. Love gets messy.

And if we are going to be people who exchange our apathy, which is often incubated in our discomfort at messy situations for love, then we have to be prepared, like Jesus, to enter into the messiness of people’s lives and be present to the person - sensitive to how the Lord wants you to reveal his love to them.

And if you agree with that statement, then there is a flip side to it as well. You need to let the love of God into the messy parts of your life AND you need to let others into those messy places too, believing in faith that God is going to use them to help you grow. And too many of us are happy to enter into someone else’s mess but never allow others into our mess. It goes both ways. To love others fully, you need to let others love you fully.

Conclusion

Exchanging apathy for love may the be most challenging exchange of all the ones we are looking at this advent season. It takes first and foremost a sense of self-evaluation to determine where you are apathetic and why. Then it takes a plan to overcome it and the courage to take a step in the right direction. But if you will embark on that journey, you’ll feel your soul come alive in ways that will astound you and radically change your life. So to close, I have three challenges for each of us this Advent season:

Look around and see the love of God in all the ordinary places of life. Give praise to God for each one.

Show God your love for him and show others the love of God by engaging in one new area of faithful service and righteous living.

Let love into the messy parts of your life - talk to God about your messiness and let other people into it as well. Show love to those who don’t deserve it and step into someone else’s mess with the love of God.

Pray.